Mary’s Perspective

I stood there, holding Rose tightly. Thoughts whirled through my head. Happiness. Disbelief. Joy. Concern. Love. Worry. And satisfaction, the oddly dirty feeling that I had won over the others who had pursued my beloved, amazing apprentice. No, beloved, amazing woman. It’s crass, isn’t it, having such thoughts when I should be looking out for her, not only as a teacher but as a friend. Anyone looking in at my thoughts would be sure to look at me askance over these selfish feelings when the woman I’m holding in my arms is still struggling with her own emotions.

As rude as it must be to think this, Rose should have had an emotional outburst like this long ago. Think about it. She’s been dragged from the familiar world she grew up with and knew, and thrust into an alien world. My mother had kept a journal after she got dragged over here, and what she wrote discussed in depth the feelings she went through, acclimating to this world so different from the mundane world she came from. It had been a struggle for her, having to accept the loss of the familiar place and reality she had grown up in, getting used to new social norms, magic, and the like. There was sadness and anger at it having been ripped away, a long process before she came to love her place in the world, and fell in love with my father, who had also been cast adrift here.

Rose, for the most part, had taken it in stride. I always thought that was odd, but I assumed it was just part of her personality. A bit spacey, but adaptable. It’s not like she never showed strong emotions, but in hindsight her reactions were lacking when compared to what she went through. Finding yourself in another world is not normal. What was I even thinking back then, immediately offering to make her my apprentice? I’m glad I did, don’t get me wrong, but she had immediately agreed, mere hours after getting dragged from the life she had known. As if she had taken the shock and disbelief, the worst of it at any rate, and just… shoved it away so she wouldn’t have to deal with it. While I’m lacking in first-hand experience with life in her world, a bit more panic would be called for, based off what I’ve read from the mundane world.

And again, the day after. She was a bit spaced out of course, but seemed perfectly functional. Thinking back to her cute expression when I gave her that sword still makes me feel giddy, only tempered by the joy from holding her in my arms. After the bandit attack though, she got angry. Focusing on the issue of keeping my idiot niece alive distracted me from giving her the attention I should have, and being angry at having to fight off those bandits by herself was a completely rational reaction. Or so I thought at the time.

She came from a world that’s, if not peaceful, then less immediately hazardous than this one. I’ve read plenty of books from her world, and I should have caught it sooner. Fighting and killing on the way back from running errands is a bad thing in any world, but the very idea of needing to do so should be unimaginable to the average person from the mundane world. Anger was a normal reaction, for people from this world and maybe those from her world used to violence. Anger from someone normally as bright and amazing as her...doesn’t fit as well. Yes, she’s strong, that much is clear. That’s why her more anomalous behavior went unnoticed by me for so long. Her emotions on the surface are rational, seemingly a perfect fit for the immediate events.

As much as I was glad to have picked such a good apprentice, who could take what had to be the most unusual events in her life with the same anger and happiness she would show towards challenges in her own world, I should have been more on top of how little sense her behavior actually made. It’s my duty as her teacher to...no, it’s what my heart would want as someone who loves her, to help her when she needs it, even if she’s not consciously aware of how much she’s hurting. Reluctantly, I begin to pull away from her embrace.

“We shouldn’t stay standing here all day… why don’t we sit in the library for a bit? We still have much to talk about.” I squeak out. So much for maintaining my dignity as a teacher.

“I...” she seemed dazed. Not the usual “eyes glazing over lost in thought” kind she often had, but like she had been poleaxed. After spending time with her I’ve gotten used to how she’d often go back and fourth between extreme competence and that adorable puppy-like nature, but seeing this side of her was also delicious.

Taking her by the hand, she followed with a blush on her cheeks. And following behind her, floating in the air, were the coffee pot and mugs. Even when like this she still had certain priorities. On some level it was fascinating that telekinesis would work that well when she was clearly distracted by, well, something, but maybe it’s more that a limiter of some sort has been removed? It’s like a corny line in the book about the power of love. Would that love be for me or the coffee? I’m going to assume it’s the first.

“Now, first things first.” I say, after we’ve gotten comfortably settled in on the couch. It’s not as nice as hugging her, but leaning against her will have to do for now. Ooh, maybe she could sit in my lap? No, that’s stupid. She’s a bit taller than me, which would make it kind of weird. “Just to clarify, what was that thing you said earlier? That last thing you said?”

The dazed look disappeared from her face after a moment of slackness from the hand still grasping mine. “Pardon me if I’m wrong, but if I recall correctly, that was ‘I...’” She said in a smart-aleck tone.

“...I mean right before that.”

She glanced to the side, switching from smug to embarrassed. “I love you… I thought you heard it already.”

“Oh, I did, I just wanted to hear it again.”

She pointedly looked away, an air of petulance taking over her posture. Grabbing her mug of coffee in both hands, she sipped at it as if to hide the heat showing on her cheeks. What was that I had thought earlier about being concerned and wanting to have an important discussion? Go easy on me, I’m allowed a bit of self-indulgence. I was drawn to her from the start, but the more time I spend with her the more special to me she becomes. Every day with her shows me new sides of her. It was asking too much of me if I was expected not to fall for her. And, despite her awkwardness, loves me too.

The jealousy I was feeling earlier over this unnamed person trying to drag her back to her home world is still simmering at some deeper level of my psyche. I’ll admit I have a bent towards possessiveness. It’s probably not healthy but at least I’m aware of it. But that makes me wonder, how aware of her feelings and emotions is Rose? The odd disconnect she shows at times is something I’ll need to keep an eye on, but the best I can do for now is be here for her and lend her an ear or a shoulder if she needs it. I’m a witch, so I specialize more in spells and potions than in emotional support. I did drag her in here to talk, however.

“So Rose...” I said hesitantly. “Someone’s trying to summon you back to your world. Someone-”my breath caught, “someone with strong feelings towards you. I’m just checking to make sure, but if you could go back...would you?”

The petulance from earlier disappeared, replaced with apprehension. “No… I… think I might have freaked out a bit earlier, being a bit… out of it, but it really does feel like I belong here. Thanks. For being here with me.”

Compared to the usually air-headed Rose, or the competent one, this nervousness was new. As ashamed as I am to admit it, the way she’s acting now really hits on something it probably shouldn’t.

“Of course I’m here for you.” I reply. I put my arm around her, pulling her closer She gives a slight start at first, before laying her head in my lap. Angry at the part of myself screaming in joy at this development, I stroke her hair. She wants to be comforted. I’m a horrible, horrible woman for having such thoughts while she’s feeling worried. Okay. I’ve been training her in basic meditation, I should use it myself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Composure. Regardless of us admitting we love each other, we’re still student and teacher. I need to be the kind of woman she can rely on.

“Mary? Are you okay? You’re breathing kind of oddly.”

“It’s fine… So, you want to stay here,” Another burst of joy. “...so we need to decide how we’re going to deal with this person trying to summon you. Odds are they’ll be persistent. This spell reeks of obsession. One failure doesn’t seem likely to dissuade them. Worst case scenario… we might need to go on the offensive.”

Rose went limp briefly, then returned to normal before responding. “No.” She said firmly. “They may be a weird stalker but we still shouldn’t do anything of the sort. We can hope they drop this and return to acting normal. Well, as normal as they can be. But try not to do anything extreme. Teacher-student obligations and all that.”

“You know who it is?”

“I have an inkling. A girl I tutored a while back. A bit obsessive, but mostly harmless, I think. I didn’t think she was obsessed enough to turn to magic, so maybe I might not be the best to judge how others feel for me… but that’s not important right now. Oh, she’s not my type, so you really have nothing to worry about on that front either. If she does anything too extreme, we can deal with it then, but she really isn’t that bad of a girl.”

“Oh, is that so?” I asked, bewildered after she had seemed so clueless on the topic before. She shifted around a bit, snuggling her head in closer to my stomach.

“I don’t mind you getting all jealous and possessive, you don’t have to hide it, if that’s what you’re concerned about. It’s the kind of thing I find cute, and you already know our feelings are mutual.” What happened to my air-headed Rose, ignorant of the feelings of others? “Maybe I just like getting fawned over? I may be a bit rotten in that way, but you should know by now I’m not the type to stray. Also...”

I’m outright befuddled right now, but her comments, insightful and on the mark, have really thrown my thoughts off. “Also?”

“Could you play with my ears too? I really like that…” she requested with a smoky voice.

My heart went into overdrive. What changes did saying those simple words “I love you” cause in my Rose? She always was cute, often endearing, but this… This is my Rose, but not a side of her I would have thought existed.

What else can I do? I stroke her ears, and the small sigh she lets out when I do so drives all other thoughts from my head. My other worries can wait, my hands are full enough already trying to restrain myself.