After inviting me to join their group called ‘the Akatsuki’ Pain and Konan took me back to their lair. My suspicions where confirmed when I Nagato, the six paths of pain where just his puppets.

“Don’t you feel weird using dead bodies as puppets?” I genuinely asked Nagato. ”I mean, isn’t that what someone with necrophilia would do?”

Konan blushed and quickly said “young one I think you mean necromancer. Necromancer is just a fancy word for a shinobi (ninja) who can reanimate corpses”

[There she goes again changing what I said so that it what she wants to hear]

Nagato followed Konan's lead and said “these are the bodies of famous shinobi (ninja) who have fought with my master, ONE OF THE LEGENDARY SANIN, THE GREAT SAGE JIRAIYA!”

[Is that supposed to mean something to me?] “Wow your master sounds great, that totally justifies using the corpses of people he once fought as puppets” I said trying to hide my sarcasm.

“Really! I have finally met someone who understands how to respect the dead. Konan wanted me to bury Yahiko's body, but is it not better to use him as my strongest Pain and make him lead Takatsuki”

[Ok you lost me there] “Who is Yahiko?” I asked

“Tendo Pain, he was the true leader of Akatsuki years ago but died due to underhanded tricks and betrayal. He was everything to me and Konan”

A tear slid down Konan’s cheek as she listened to Nagato. [Ok so Yahiko is a touchy topic for them]

“Yes Nagato making Pain the leader was a good idea” [these guys are freaking crazy, roleplaying with dead bodies like they were action figures]

Then raised her head and smiled “we will call you Yahiko!”

Nagato agreed immediately “hahaha just like Yahiko you are an orphan with orange hair who never gives up!” [Didn’t I give up when you kicked my ass?]

I replied with a fake smile “thank you so much big bro Nagato and super beautiful big sis Konan”

Nagato smiled and Konan blushed. They then led me to my room where I rested for the night; it was a simple setup plain bed mirror and bathroom. Their lair didn’t seem to be designed for luxury. I finally got a look at myself in the mirror. Without my mask I look just like the idiot Shinigami (Kurisaki Ichigo) which sent me to this planet full of overpowered psychopaths. The only difference between me and Ichigo was that I looked younger, my eyes were yellow with black sclera, my skin is deathly pale and I still have a whole in my chest.

That night when I fell asleep I had a weird dream. I was in the floating in the middle of a city made up of endless skyscrapers. And standing in front of me was my soul, it completely black. It had a white mask, and its light colour (white) hair reached down to the middle of its back. It had two long, forward-pointing horns protruding from the sides of its head, and its Hollow hole, located in its upper chest, was filled in. It has two blades in place of its forearms.

“Why does my soul look like a monster?” I asked

“That is because I am an experiment hollow created from the souls of many Shinigami. My name is White. Ichigo did not wish for me to taint his bloodline any further so he sacrificed the part of his soul where I reside and combined it with yours” white answered

“Why me?” I asked confused

“Your soul is the only soul compatible with mine and Ichigo” white answered patiently as if talking to a child

“So it wasn’t a mistake that I died early” I asked

“Yes. Ichigo planned to put a baby in whOrihimes’ belly” white answered sounding displeased.

“Whorihime?”

“A nickname I came up with for Orihime “

“Isn’t that a bit mean” I said defending the woman’s honour.

“You should hear her say ‘kurosaki-kuuuuuuuun!’” white answered with a tired voice filled with annoyance.

[Ok so Ichigo screwed me in more ways than one, all I can do now is live life until the fullest]

“Enough bitching, what powers do we have”

White seemed surprised at how quickly I came to terms with my situation

“Eh seriously, you don’t even care, he took away your life you know; now you can’t even call yourself a human or a hollow. You are something new, alone in this world with only me a bitter existence created by Aizen Souske to turn Shinigami into what you are now.” White said sounding confused and frantic at the same time.

“Man enough with details back to the story! Our fans are getting bored you” I replied

[Cough][Ehem] “You didn’t get any of Ichigo's Shinigami powers and instead gained all of my hollow abilities which are: Immense Speed, Enhanced Strength, Enhanced Endurance, Enhanced Durability, Immense Spiritual Power (chakra), Expert Hand-to-Hand Combatant, Cero, Self-Destruct Mechanism, Hollowfication Poison and Soul Infiltration. The first five powers are the reason Konan and Pains attacks didn’t turn you into pool of blood. You will pick up taijutsu and sword techniques better thanks to ability 6, you saw me use Cero it’s pretty badass, self-destruct only affects your hollow hole fill it with chakra and use it as a last ditch effort as it uses up all your stamina and you will not be able to move, Hollowfication poison has been locked from use until we meet certain requirements, the same for soul infiltration. We can also copy the abilities of any sword you have used.”

“Wow do you really have all those powers” I asked shocked

“Yup check my wiki, although some abilities where modified to suit this world”

“Ok thanks I’ll start training when I wake up”

“Yahiko wake up!” Konan yelled as I was startled awake. ”oh you are awake now I was so scared because you weren’t responding to my voice”

“Sorry I’m a deep sleeper” I lied. [Well its better than saying I was inside my soul world talking to a part of my soul]

“Come its time you meet the rest of our members” Konan seemed so excited to show me her teammates.

We walked into Nagato's favourite room; it had a huge gedo statue which he said they will use to save the world. I just thought he was a crazy cult leader, but you know the saying when life gives you lemons….

Konan gave me an Akatsuki robe to wear and told me to stand with tendo pain before the team arrived.

One by one strange men began walking into the room, all of them could not be described as normal, one had red eyes, one looked and smelled like a fish, one had mouths on his hands, another had a scorpion tail, there was one which had a knife going through his heart but walked around fine instead complaining about having a crazy teammate, another seemed to be made of black vines and carried around a suitcase full of money, there was a black and white plant man who stood next to a funny carefree junior member who wore an orange mask.

Pain started the meeting “we have new junior member joining us today, like Toby he will follow each of you around while gaining experience, we also have news that Orochimaru has attacked konoha, I will send a team to asses if the Kyubi is still alive if so capture it and bring it here. Who volunteers?”[Orochimaru? This is the second time I’ve heard his name who is he]

“Kisame and I will go” the red eyes called itachi said. No one objected [hmm he must be a badass to keep a room full of monsters quiet]

“I’ll go with them” I shouted. Mostly because I wanted to get away from Pains dead body smell, but also because I wanted to wield fish-man's sword, it seemed to have a special power and I wanted to copy it.

Konan frowned but didn’t act out because she was in front of her peers. [Aww she wanted me to stay

The rest of the meeting was boring; just finance reports from Kakuzu and minor missions being handed over to other teams.

Pain and Konan smiled as I left the lair with Itachi and Kisame. Konan handed me her ninja headband and walked away. I put it on and smiled. [There is no way I’m dying before I get a chance to smash! that is my way of the ninja…ok later I will think of a better ninja way but for now!]

Kisame and Itachi immediately began running in the direction of konoha at a blistering pace, faster than I could fly for now as least, so instead of trying to fly I ran after them. I never thought I would be able to run this fast! I knew I had immense speed but this was crazy. I was sure that I could overtake Itachi and Kisame but didn’t because they knew the path to konoha and I didn’t.

Itachi and Kisame where oddly quiet during our trip and ran without talking. We ran until nightfall before we rested.

“hehehe this little fish managed to swim with the sharks, I’m impressed you can still walk after all of today’s running, then again nobody normal joins Akatsuki, right Itachi?” Kisame commented in a creepy I want to kill or eat you voice.

“True, it is surprising how fast you are and your endurance is good too how old are you?” Itachi asked with suspicion in his eyes

“Konan and Pain said my age should be around 13 to 14 years old” I told them what Nagato had guessed.

“Heh that’s a year older than your brother Itachi-san, who do you think would win in a fight between them. Maybe we might get a chance to see them in action” Kisame said in his annoying yet intimidating voice.

[I haven’t had any time to train my techniques, my two best skills are locked and I’m scared Kisame would kill me if I asked to use his sword for a bit. Why do they want me to fight so bad when just here to watch?]

Itachi's eyes turned into a strange pattern and I felt his spiritual pressure spike”Kisame, Sasuke is my prey do not interfere”

Before I could react kisame's sword was pointed at Itachi and kisame’s spiritual pressure was at the same level as mine when I undergo full Hollowfication. [This world has nothing but overpowered assholes. I haven’t met one person whose spiritual pressure didn’t show they were secretly a hidden monster; even that zetsu guy with an extremely low spiritual pressure had a hidden presence within his spiritual pressure which blocked my scanning. Nothing but overpowered last boss ninja mother fuckers!]

“Itachi are you sure you want to play with me hehehehe” Kisame sounded serious this time

[I have to stop this fight, it’s now or never] “Hey guys let’s just play a little game of rock paper scissors to decide who fights who tomorrow”

“hehehehe this new recruit knows what he’s talking about, let’s play” Kisame said excitedly

Itachi gave me a comprehensive look and nodded his head I agreement.

“Ok who gets to fight the jounin in the village, rock, paper, scissors” [Dammit I won]

“hehehehe rookie you have nice luck, who will lead the capture of the kyubi, rock, paper, scissors” [dammit I won again what is happening, I’m getting an ominous feeling]

“Is Sasuke shows up who will fight him, rock, paper, scissors” [it’s decided I have universal bad luck as my strongest ability]

Itachi and Kisame were shocked; they could not believe they lost even with all their ninja reflexes and sharingan at their disposal.

“That boy controls fate itself “Itachi said disbelieving

“It looks like the rookie is in charge tomorrow. Hehehehe this works as well”