Everyone told me to become a loving wife, a caring mother, a good daughter and taught me the virtues of women ever since I first walked. They expected me to act in a certain way, confine myself within the boundaries of my room, respect those in power, and hold one’s husband in high regard.

"It's nothing more than horseshit, my lady."

That’s what Rudolf had said when he heard my four-year old self. He had always been much taller than me, and l had to strain my neck to get a good glimpse of his face. My mother had just passed away then, leaving me alone amongst outsiders.

He had rejected the teaching of my mother at the time, so I was furious.

He had disrespected the only person I cared about in this world, so I was hurt.

But my four-year self was ignorant. She thought the words of her mother as absolute, so I continued ignoring Rudolf.

The maids of my mother deserted me because I was hardly given a day’s meal in the house. They, who preached that my mother was the noblest lady in the world, disappeared from her graveyard. Until I was left all alone in the western courtyard. No, until Rudolf was the only one left beside me.

That scrawny brat who had rejected my mother’s teaching stuck beside me, ignoring the shame he accumulated for siding with a traitor’s daughter. Ignoring the curses hurled at him in words and deeds. He stayed, unlike everyone, but I couldn’t forgive him. Because he had rejected my mother’s teaching.

He served me earnestly for four years, only asking for a loaf of bread every day, asking me to save money for the time when I become a villainess.

I didn’t quite know what he meant when he said that, for I was a young ignorant girl who thought her mother was her entire world. Even after four years had passed by.

My stepsisters wore new clothes every day, my stepmother showered them with warmth, but I was left alone. No, with Rudolf. But I was never satisfied. Even when he sewed clothes for me, even when he bought me new shoes, I was never happy. Because they were from Rudolf and not from my family.

My father hated my presence in the house, for he didn’t like the traitorous blood boiling in me, but I conceded because I craved for family and warmth. I wanted to believe that my mother was right and Rudolf was wrong. Even though he stayed beside me wordlessly, and my mother had left me all alone.

I was ten years old when I met the crown prince, and his kindness won my heart for no particular reason. So, I shifted my attention to the crown prince and craved his love because I was alone. Despite having smiling Rudolf, who was washing my clothes every morning. Except for my underpants.

My antics to garner the crown prince’s attention were so embarrassing, yet Rudolf supported me every time, no matter what I asked him to do. I grew bitter over the course of years when that bitch Gladiata won all his attention, and Rudolf stayed beside me. Smiling like always, telling me to become a great villainess.

The bitterness grew even more over the next few years, and I started becoming obnoxious each passing day. The one person my mother had told me never to become. Rudolf stayed. Like always. Asking me to become more unruly because that was how I was meant to be.

I never understood him, but I quite liked the fact that I wasn’t restricted by the rigid norms of the rules my mother had imposed on me.

Rudolf asked me to speak out my mind, and I started hurling whatever curses came to my mind because it felt more natural than acting all dignified. I stopped bothering about my appearance and became more unruly. I started calling him mongrel, my stepmother, and sisters vile bitches. But he damn stayed.

That freaking bastard who had rejected my mother accompanied me every day, every year, getting his own reputation tarnished along with mine. That bastard, who had millions of reasons to quit, didn’t while I thought he was the one wrong all along. Because he had rejected that one lady’s wishes. But I missed my mother despite all that.

So, this day didn’t surprise me as much. Because I had grown up to become a wild woman. Who cared if Rudolf helped me become one? He just showed me there isn’t a fucking normal for a woman, and I can act the way I want to. Kill anyone I wish to because he would stay.

“You bitch! Lowly ranked whores ought to remain low and speak respectfully to those in power. And you, dog of Earl, learn to recognize your rank before you start preaching me. I am the daughter of Marquis, not your lackey. Learn proper etiquette before teaching others.”

I snarled at Gladiata and Elert with hatred. Why? Because I was a vile bitch who didn’t care about pretense. The corridor was filled to the brim with students, but I didn’t mind. I have long lost my sense of shame, and I like how I turned out to become. Even though my mother would hate me for it.

A crisp sound resounded in the corridor, and I watched Rudolf kneel down on the ground. I didn’t know where he had come from, but he had taken the slap meant for me.

But that slap woke this bitch up from a nightmare.

Why did I crave something so superficial as love when I had Rudolf all along?

I glared at the person who had slapped Rudolf. My mongrel. But he pulled my skirt, caring for me even at his worst. I stumbled, balancing myself using his head, and watched my mongrel bow down his head.

“This humble one greets Your Highness.”

I held back my rage and pulled him up, much to the displeasure of the prince. But my body didn’t heed to me, no curses came, and I bowed my head in shame.

“Who dares to flaunt their status in front of me?! You are an abandoned daughter of the Marquis, so you don’t even have the right to flaunt your paternal status. Was everything you showed me until this moment an act? Did you try to earn my pity by spoiling your sisters’ names? Did you try to distance me from Gladiata by saying that she was fooling behind my back? Was everything your ploy to get closer to me? I never knew you were a despicable villainess.”

“Please, Kyle,” tears glistened the bitch’s eyes. “She just needs some time.”

I was devastated. How much had I hurt Rudolf all these years? But my mouth spoke for the prince as if I had no control over it.

“No, Kyle…” I said desperately. I had no clue what the hell was wrong with me, but I was blabbing as if I was destined to say the words.

Even though Rudolf had woken me up. My mongrel, who had stayed by my side. My feelings and words conflicted like never before. I felt bound to the shackles, and my head refused to move from the prince and glance at my mongrel. I hated this; I so damn hated this.

Was he lonely all this while? I had him, but what about him?

“It’s Your Majesty for you,” the prince said, and I felt the binding sensation in me disappear. My mouth felt natural, and I regained my ability to talk usually, obviously, with curses.

“That bitch plays around with men,” I snarled, testing my tongue out. "I wasn’t lying to you about that, Your Majesty.”

The entourage coldly snarled at me and disappeared. But my mongrel didn't.

I stood rooted in the corridor, watching Rudolf from the corner of my eyes. Did he hate me like everyone else? I wondered but I knew the answer to that.

“My lady, we need to eat before they close the mess.”

He said, and I nodded, guilt hurting me more. But I wouldn’t let this bastard leave, even in his wildest dreams.

I didn’t talk throughout the day, but when we reached my mongrel’s favorite store, I spoke.

“Wasn’t I a foolish woman?” That I craved for love despite having you.

“He never really liked my vicious tongue, nor me myself. All he did like was the fake persona I portrayed. Then again, it hurts to see that my unrequited feelings were wasted on such a man.”

But you stayed beside me every damn moment for who I was. And I never gave you anything in return.

He nodded silently, watching the bread store with his puppy eyes.

“You mongrel! Your lady is moping here, and you are wagging your tail for a loaf of bread!”

I cursed because he felt good beside me. Because he belonged to me. And only me. I would never let him leave me, even if I had to break his legs. Even if I had to become disfigured to not get married out.

“I’ll take you outside the town tomorrow,” he said, the same excitement of all these years swirling in those deep black eyes. Why had I never noticed them before?

“What?!” I asked him. He had rejected my request this morning. “I’m fine, so you don’t have to concede.”

“If I bring the crown prince here, I know you will go all mushy,” he said. “You are one tough girl, my lady, but you are still a girl.”

I felt guilt as much as anger. Did my mongrel think I was still in love with the crown prince?

It didn’t matter. I would keep him beside me.

I kicked his leg but took him to the bread store. He loved bread, after all.

This was my Rudolf. And no one would ever touch him. Not now, not ever. This bitch had been foolish for a while, but it felt good to wake up.