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One-Shot - The Dungeon's Rightful Ruler

"Nobody cleans better than I do! One could even eat off the toilets I clean." The assistant butler to The Great Tomb of Nazarick, Eclair Ecleir Eicler, proudly declared as he cleaned the golden toilet in Lord Ainz's private chambers. The overlord never used it. Even so, they still had to clean it thoroughly every day in case he'd decide to put it to use at some point for who knows why.

No one ever questioned this part of the cleaning schedule because Lord Ainz had put his signature on all documents on the maintenance of the tomb. If the leader of the supreme beings went over the cleaning schedule and signed anyways, that implied he desired his personal bathroom to be cleaned every day.

Unsurprisingly, there were absolutely no objections to it since Lord Ainz's words are laws.

In truth, the sole reason the maids and other cleaning staff did this job was because Ainz had never noticed his personal bathroom was getting cleaned at all. As for the documents... Well, he never read them fully as he hated going through gigantic piles of paperwork every day. He merely laid his signature on every document he read.

If the overlord had known what was going on with the cleaning duties, he would've instantly told his NPCs to stop this nonsense.

Alas…

"Aaaannnd I've once again did a superb job! Dare I say spectacular!" Eclair sang out as he was wiping off the last speck of dust on one of the many gems embedded into Lord Ainz's majestic golden toilet.

'One day, it will also belong to me.' Eclair told himself, forcing a malicious smile. Although no matter what kind of sinister facial expression he made, the little penguin still looked adorable.

Being done with this cleaning task of utmost importance, he proceeded to lean over the tank to press the handle and flush out the blue liquid detergent inside the bowl. However, he must've polished the golden bowl too perfectly as he slipped, fell in the bowl and upon contact with the water, was immediately flushed away.

After that, everything went dark.

'What's going on? Am I dying? Impossible! My fate is to one day rule the Great Tomb of Nazarick!' Eclair thought to himself as he realized he wasn't submerged in bathroom water anymore. By contrast, he was standing on what appeared to be a cold stone floor.

Looking around his obscure surroundings, all he could perceive was the dark blue walls and ceiling. The place spread out in all directions like a skyless maze. There were many intersections and even some slopes in here.

"Where am I?" He wondered out loud as he kept on looking everywhere to gather clues as to his present whereabouts.

All he could assert was that it was pitch-black and scary. Other than that, it seemed to be a maze dug from rocks… A characteristic that he didn't recall as any one of Nazarick's floors' themes.

Perhaps he was on one of Lady Shalltear's floors. He had never been there himself, but from what he'd overheard, her floors' description, while not perfectly matching, resembled the most the environment he was in. Yet not totally.

The first, second and third floor were referred to as the catacombs. They consisted of burial chambers where several dozen undead were wandering around in the darkness.

This floor was dark but did not hold any burial chambers. It was a cavern. The rocks made it seem so opulent, and Éclair was baffled that such a bland environment was part of the grandiose sanctuary that was The Great Tomb of Nazarick.

*Stomp**Stomp**Stomp*

The whole floor shook which made Éclair look towards the source of the turbulence.

It was a bull-headed man-beast approaching him. He emitted an intimidating aura and started to growl.

"Hey, hey. I'm not an intruder. It is me, Eclair Ecleir Eicler! The assistant butler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick! Whichever floor we currently are on, I order you to pick me up and carry me to your superior." The penguin ordered the beast to no avail. It did not seem to comprehend him at all for that matter.

The two confronting figures were presently meters apart and the bull-headed beast kept on growling, his growls becoming more and more intimidating.

Eclair was scared. Was this where he was going to die?

"Urrrroooooarrrrrrr!"

And then with a mighty roar, the beast-man started running towards the poor assistant butler.

"Whhhhaaaaa! Why MEEEEE!"

Screaming with tears flowing endlessly from his eyes, Eclair Ecleir Eicler bounced off the floor by executing small hops to get as far away as he could from that malicious beast.

It was within a matter of seconds, but he could already feel the beastman's breath from behind him. At this paste, it was a matter of one or two seconds before he'd get grabbed and then eaten by the roaring creature.

Just as Eclair expected his life as a servant of the supreme beings to be over, the thumping sounds of the running beast-man stopped and were replaced by a single slashing sound from behind.

"Uoohhhh?" The beast-man blurted out. It seemed that the minotaur was just as confused by this sound as Eclair was.

He turned around to see a line had been flung across the monstrous creature's torso.

The line didn't stop there. It traveled through thick pectoral muscles, across the raised leg, up the thigh, to the shoulders, and finally out the beast-man's neck.

Now a silver light is shining through.

'Lady Shalltear must've come to my rescue.' Was what Eclair assessed in his mind.

And so, it was that the beast who had tried to assassinate Eclair was cut into slabs of meat.

"Guu...? GWWAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa!"

Its dying roar of surprise and pain echoes through the chamber.

The beast's body falls to pieces and blood spurred everywhere on the walls, revealing the one who had caused such mess.

It wasn't Lady Shalltear or any other denizen of Nazarick for that matter. Instead, it was a young human girl in a light blue clothing with a breastplate. She stood tall despite her petite frame, which made Eclair question why humans would send a lone juvenile girl to raid Nazarick… Wait. Humans?

That made Eclair's superior mind stop functioning properly for a second. 'A human girl in Nazarick? How did a human manage to venture this far into the Great Tomb of Nazarick alone? Or – I must be at the very entrance to the Tomb. That must be it as there is no other explication to the predicament, I'm in.'

The blonde swordswoman pointed her glistening blade downward, the blood of the slayed beast dripping harmlessly to the floor.

She looked down upon Eclair with golden eyes.

Eclair wiped his tears with his arm – or wing? – and then straightened himself up to greet the human in a formal manner.

"You have my sincere gratitude for saving my life, human, however are you aware just how dangerous this place is? As a show of kindness for saving me, I will tolerate you leaving the Great Tomb of Nazarick unscathed!"

The human girl tilted her head to the side. Why was there a talking penguin in the dungeon? Moreover, why was the penguin issuing her with a warning? It went without saying, she knew the dangers of the dungeon. She was a level 5 adventurer, after all.

Seeing the blonde girl wasn't going to retreat, Eclair smiled as he realized a more lucrative offer.

"Very well. If you still wish to proceed inwards, I would like to offer you a formal invitation to join forces with me! Together, we are practically invincible!"

The girl's eyes opened slightly and kept staring intently on Eclair, clearly not understanding the intricacies of his proposition.

"By that I alluded to conquering the Great Tomb of Nazarick, of course!" The assistant butler exclaimed, throwing his wings in the air, which was his version of a fist pump.

"You mean the dungeon?" The human girl asked, seemingly even more confused.

"What? You truly must be oblivious to what kind of cursed realm you have just been trespassing to refer to it as a mere 'dungeon'. It is more than that! It is the home of the 41 Supreme B-huh?"

The human girl had long stopped listening to Eclair's rant and was poking his belly with her slender fingers. She was crouched down directly facing the assistant butler.

And then, she spoke the unspeakable.

"Can… Can I hug you?"

"Huh?" Eclair hesitated and suddenly began to back off in small hops, sweating heavily.

Remembering the nightmare that was the battle maid Shizu Delta, he desperately wanted to avoid being carried as a hug pillow. The penguin had been actively trying his best to avoid the automaton's cuddles, only to be stuck into another similar situation. With a human, no less.

Recognizing the penguin becoming so agitated and doing a small hopping dance, the human girl thought it meant 'yes'. The penguin indeed looked quite excited. It was as if he had been waiting for this moment.

Two arms grabbed the hopping penguin from each side and hauled him up to the human girl's chest, where he was getting crushed against her metal breastplate.

Comparing this sensation to when he was nuzzled by Shizue Delta, Eclair assessed that this girl's breastplate was as hard as the automaton's body, which consisted of human-body-shaped metal parts.

"Mhhhgg! Stop!" He squeaked, suffocating from the intense hugging session, but it was to no avail…

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Lefiya was waiting in the rear alongside her other Loki familia executives.

After scaring off a minotaur party, they all had to split off to exterminate every single remaining horned beast-men before they had a chance of killing any adventurers on the upper floors. Minotaurs were considered level 2 monsters which meant regular adventurers wouldn't stand a chance against them.

Everyone had come back from the chase except for Miss Aiz.

Despite fully knowing that a number of minotaurs wouldn't be able to leave a scratch on the sword princess, Lefiya couldn't help thinking about worst case scenarios while she was left waiting.

And then, she breathed in relief when she heard running footsteps approaching their meeting place on the eight floor.

"Aiz. You're the last one back. I assume that there had been no trouble with the minotaurs that got away?" Standing among the expedition group was a tall, beautiful elf with sparkling emerald colored hair. It was Riveria Ljos Alf, the vice-captain of the Loki familia whom Lefiya greatly respected and wished to follow in her footsteps as a mage.

Instead of Aiz answering Riveria's call, it was an unknown voice that spoke up.

"Ghhnnn! Put me down, human!"

Lefiya's attention along those of the entire group turned towards the source of that voice.

Aiz was holding a penguin under her arm. He flapped his wings with all his strength, but there was no way he could escape from the grip of the level 5 swordswoman. His futile struggles and cursing quickly lost their vigor while the rest of the party looked on with curious expressions.

In the end, the penguin ran out of strength and went limp.

All the executives looked at the scene in complete silence, unsure how to react to the current situation.

In the end, it was Finn, a blonde pallum and captain of the Loki familia, who broke up the silence with a wry smile.

"Aiz… What exactly is that?"

"A talking penguin."

"I can see that, but where did you find such an… anomaly within the dungeon?"

"On the fifth floor."

As usual, Aiz's response was short and only served to confuse everyone even more.

While some of the intellectuals were at loss for words, a rather more carefree party member ran up to the penguin to salute him.

"Hello, Mr. Penguin, my name's Tiona!" One of the amazon twins waved her hand along with a big, bright smile while said penguin was still getting crushed by the blonde swordswoman's grip.

"*Puf* How rude! *Puf**Puf* I have a *Puf* name, you *Puf* know!" He said, trying his best to grab some air.

"Is it Puf?" The amazon asked.

"*Puf* It's *Puf* Eclair *Puf* Ecleir *Puf* Eicler *Puf*"

"Eclair Ecleir Eicler? Aren't those deserts? I think I like Puf better."

"Ghhnnn."

The group looked on with uncertainty as they allowed the talking penguin, or Eclair to suffocate under Aiz's pressure. The blonde swordswoman couldn't help but use the strange creature as a plush toy.

"Perhaps you should drop Mr. Eicler so that he may talk freely." Finn suggested, which earned him a few nods of agreement from the more intelligent individuals in the group.

Aiz looked at the penguin intently, regretful of having to leave him, but with one last bone-crushing hug, she let go of him.

Éclair landed on the hard-stone cold floor headfirst. "Ouch. That hurts." He whined, caressing his head.

"So, what exactly are you?" Finn asked what everyone wanted to know.

'This kid… Why is he bossing everyone around? Is he their leader?' The assistant butler analyzed, seeing the blonde kid had taken the initiative of starting the formal discussions.

As commencing a head-to-head conference while laying on the floor would affect his future reputation as supreme leader of the tomb, he tried to stand up on his feet, yet found himself unable to.

"Oh, right… Eh, before that, could someone help me stand up?" Eclair was embarrassed at his display of weakness in front of humans, even more those who trespassed on his Lord's territory.

The amazon girl, Tiona, happily took him by the arm and after a few unnecessary swings and bounces, brought him down on his feet.

"I sincerely thank you for your assistance, miss. However, I would like you to be a bit gentler next time." Eclair scolded the insolent girl.

Tiona giggled at the penguin's angry demeanor, which was too adorable. "You're a funny one, Mr. Penguin."

"And I said my name is Eclair Ecleir Eicler, not Mr. Penguin! Be sure to remember it!" He ranted furiously, swinging his arms and bouncing off angrily. That left quite a comical sight and only served to make the amazon laugh even more.

"Tch. Who cares if there's a stupid penguin in the dungeon? Just leave him be eaten." A grey werewolf with lightning tattoos on his face told the rest of the group.

"Hey! That wasn't a nice thing to say to Mr. Penguin!" Tiona said.

"You should be patient, Bete. This is the first time I've seen a talking penguin, and in the dungeon no less. I am curious as to what is its business here." Riveria told a fuming Bete.

Finn nodded along. "Yes, would you care to tell us what are you doing here, Mr. Eicler?"

Putting aside the fact that the blonde brat who looks to be around 8 years old acted as the party's leader, Eclair shook his head and took on a mighty pose that would make even the strongest cower in fear.

"Of course! Believe it or not, you are presently speaking to the assistant butler and future ruler of this place you call the 'dungeon'." He proudly declared, puffing his chest forward.

Deadpans. The penguin's statement baffled every executive, except for the werewolf, Bete, who was getting even more pissed off by these ridiculous developments.

It was once again Tiona who spoke first in a confused manner. "Assistant butler? What's that supposed to mean?"

Eclair cackled evilly. These humans were truly oblivious to their current situation, but they could end up being useful for him to take over Lord Ainz's throne. Considering this fact, it would be wiser of the assistant butler to put up with them for now and dispose of them once he reached his ultimate goal.

"You people are ignorant of just how important this job is. It consists of cleaning up and polishing every surface within the tomb so that there are no specks of dust left!" The assistant butler boasted. Hopefully, these humans will understand and immediately kneel before his presence.

Instead, everyone's reaction was the complete opposite of what he had expected.

"""Haahahaaahahaa"""

Everyone began laughing, first perplexing the penguin, then angering him.

"I didn't know the dungeon had a cleaning personnel. Even less cute animals like him! Reminds me of Finn." The other amazon sibling blurted out in amusement.

'How dare they – no, I must keep my cool. Insults aside, these people may still be valuable pawns.' Eclair thought as he took a deep breath in to cool his nerves.

"*Sigh* Please refrain from referring to this sanctuary as a mere 'dungeon'. This is the Great Tomb of Nazarick ruled by the 41 Supreme Beings! You humans have no idea what dangers awaits you on the lower floors! Of course, if you'd be willing to join forces with me, then I'd–"

"Yea, yea. You're so cool, Mr. Penguin! How about we take you in as a pet?" Tiona asked excitedly. Although it was said as a question, it was clear that the poor penguin would have no voice in this decision.

Lefiya nodded without hesitation, and so did Aiz.

"Why not? His cuteness is second to Finn's which alone is a great feat." The other amazon, Tione agreed.

Bete said "Hell no."

The older executives: Finn, Gareth and Riveria shared a look that was a mixture of perplex and amusement at the idea of taking in a talking penguin as a pet.

Their goddess, Loki, would definitely find it funny.

With a long sigh of exasperation, Finn gave up under the overall excitement of his party. He smiled and finally gave the verdict: "Sure, why not?"

And that is what became of the Great Tomb of Nazarick's former assistant butler, Eclair Ecleir Eicler. He had such grand-scale ambitions that would never come to be fulfilled… Three months later at Denatus, the gods all agreed on giving him the nickname 'Butler' for his ridiculous insistence on being part of the dungeon's cleaning staff.

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