I finally make it home from work. What a long day! I go through the front door and hang up my coat. Immediately, my daughter Jessica runs to me shouting, “Daddy! Daddy!” I bend down and catch her as she jumps up into my arms. “Look daddy. I got my report card.”

I examine the tan colored envelope carefully. Jessica received perfect grades as always. I kiss my daughter on the cheek and proudly tell her, “That’s my little girl.”

I put her down and she scuttles off to play with her toys. My wife Sidney, who had been watching me, greets me with a kiss. “How was your day honey?”

“Good. A bit long, but good.”

“I’m glad that you had a good day honey. Why don’t you sit down on the couch and relax? I’ll bring you some tea.”

I crash down on the couch. Our pet bat, Sidney, flies overhead and drops the day’s newspaper in my lap. I open it up and take a look at the headline news. “Silvia Butterfly saves the world again,” I read out loud. “That sister-in-law of mine; always saving the world.”

My wife Sidney brings me a cup of tea. “What would you like for dinner?”

“Something good. How about turkey?”

My wife Sidney lays down a pot with a perfectly cooked turkey in it. I take a big knife and fork and carve the first piece for our daughter Jessica. She sings and kicks her legs as I put her plate in front of her. I sit down and take a bite. The turkey is delicious. My wife Sidney is such a good cook.

“Thank you honey for the meal,” I tell Sidney.

“You’re welcome honey, but now that dinner is over, let’s put Jessica to bed and spend some time alone.”

I fluff the pillows for Sidney. She likes that. I turn around and see my wife Sidney standing in the doorway. She’s wearing a thin black, mostly transparent nightgown and eyeing me ravenously. “Jessica is asleep now. So you know what that means.”

My wife Sidney pushes me onto the bed. I like it when she plays rough.

“I’m so happy to have you here with me honey. Let me show you how happy.” She undoes the straps of her nightgown. Then with a tiny wiggle it falls lightly to the floor revealing her full glory to me. She climbs into the bed and places herself directly on top of me. As we look each other deeply in the eyes, there’s only one question on my mind. “Where’s my staff?”

“What?”

“My magic staff.”

“It’s behind you. Next to the bed.”

I reach down next to the bed and pick up a blue plastic baton. “This isn’t my staff. Where’s my staff? The one that the gargoyle petrified along with Nadine?”

“Um…”

“Wait! Nadine! I have to save Nadine!”

I brush my wife Sidney aside and get out of bed. “I have to save Nadine.”

As I approach the bedroom door, my wife Sidney runs out in front of me. “No! Don’t go out the door!”

“Move sweetie. I have to save Nadine.” I brush her aside and step towards the door.

Once more, she runs out in front of me. “Honey did you forget? My sister Silvia saved Nadine a long time ago.”

“But what about my staff? Did Silvia find a cure for the petrification curse?”

“Yes she did.”

“Oh? What was it?”

“Um…”

“Don’t lie to me Sidney!”

I brush her aside and move towards the door. Immediately, she runs in front of me again. “No, don’t go! Stay here and be happy with me!”

“I have no right to be happy until I save Nadine.”

“You don’t need Nadine! You only need me! I love you Souladonis!”

“Well I don’t love you Sidney!”

“Why? Why won’t you love me?”

“How could I love you Sidney? I don’t even love myself.”

I forcibly push my wife Sidney aside. Then I charge out of the bedroom door.