Date: 9.27.2152

To: you, my only friend

Subject: i am anxious

hi,

I don't know how you did it, but Kevin just responded to me!

He is asking me to come to meet him at some place called "Happy Cow". I had to look it up, and apparently, it is now a popular coffee shop chain in this town. So he is alive, after all. Or someone is pretending to be him. It could be a government agent luring me into a trap. What do you think?

To me, it seems unlikely that the government would bother setting an elaborate trap for me. Wouldn't it be easier to just eliminate me without any fuss? Or send me to terraform one of the planets?

They'd have no trouble figuring out who I am and where I live if they've already traced my presence on their servers.

You are probably laughing at me right now, thinking I should have gone off the grid a long time ago. I would have gladly done that, believe me. But I need e-credits if I want to lead my contactless comfortable existence. I wouldn't have been able to get a job and keep my apartment without the chip.

Yes, I've sold my soul to the devil – I've sacrificed my freedom and anonymity for the sake of convenience. Show me someone who hasn't done the same one way or another. It's just the way the world works now. Total control in exchange for simple survival. The rules are unfair, but we accept them anyway because we don't have any other choice. Don't you agree?

It's been two years since I've left this room. And I've been content with that. Since that fight with Mia, I had neither reason nor desire to venture into the outside world. It has nothing to offer me. Everything is fake, everything is just a simulation of reality. And people... the closer you are to them, the more pain and misery they bring you. So I've built a steady self-sustaining life for myself, and it has been working out great. Until now, that is.

I have to admit, I want to hear what Kevin has to say. I want to know how he felt when he found out. Was he as shocked as I was? Did he understand what it meant? For humanity, and for him in particular? What does he want to do with the information? And most of all, I want to know why would Mike share this with Kevin. How would Mike come to possess this knowledge?

So many questions. And my only chance for answers will be waiting for me at the place called "Happy Cow" in about an hour.

Is this enough of an incentive for me to set foot outside after all this time? My hands are currently trembling, and I have to retype every word several times to get it right. I have to open a window because my room suddenly smells of heavy stress sweat. I honestly don't know if I can do it.

I wish you were here to talk me through it, to reassure me everything is going to be ok. I know it won't, but sometimes I just want someone to say these words to me.

I feel the urge to cry.

I can't remember the last time I cried. But I'm almost sure it was because of Mia. I used to cry a lot because of her at first. Then, less and less. Till I couldn't anymore. I think there is only a limited amount of tears one can shed over one person, and then you're done. They still can hurt you, but every time the pain is just a bit farther away.

During our last months together, she would accuse me of being distant and acting like I didn't care. I wasn't acting. I went the whole way from caring too much to not feeling a thing. I didn't know how to tell her that she was the reason for it. She was the first line of code and the last, the alpha and omega to my most important functions. Mia gave me a new life, and she ruthlessly took it away, leaving me a shadow of what I used to be.

But don't be sad for me. I have my terraformers – they have never let me down, and they never will.

Even though I'm fascinated by them all, my favorite is Katya B. (Neptune inhabitant 0101, batch 3). She is originally from a small town in Siberia. She was "chosen" for the program after she was caught cutting out her brother's chip. She was tried for treason and given a choice between capital punishment and Neptune.

As you know, terraformers on Neptune have it worse than anybody else. This planet has the wildest weather in the entire Solar System – constant storms, extreme winds, not to mention the unbearable cold. As Katya put it in the email to her brother: "Everyone who comes here dies within an Earth year. But not me, my dear Vasilok, I'm not gonna freeze to death on this god-forsaken planet. I will fight till the very end. And we will meet again, I promise."

Even though I think it is reckless of Katya to make such promises, I admire her spirit. Her video messages are always very energetic and filled with positivity. I didn't understand most of them at first, but my Russian is rapidly improving, and I'm getting to know this girl even better. Weirdly, I sometimes feel as if she's sending me her strength from Neptune. Maybe Katya and her undying hope and foolish optimism will be able to guide me through this ordeal.

I'll let you know.

Yours,

Ryan