There was some, thing in front of us, and for the moment thing seemed the best description.. it had six eyes, six legs, no mouth, and six graspy bits. Then there were the freaky-deeky glowing veins, which only added to the weirdness. Whatever the hell it was it seemed almost as confused by us as we were by it. it was clad in a strange type of exosuit and was babbling at us at a frenzied rate.

Not that it made much difference until the translators kicked in, for all I knew right now it could be treating us to a rendition of Old Macdonald had a farm. Still, it wasn’t attacking, so reaching out to Jenel I gently pushed her weapon down, the damn thing had a hair-trigger, which made it a perfect match for Jenel.

“Endeavouring to accelerate the translation software Captain,” Relly helpfully informed me. “This language is complex however, so far the count is a total of twelve vowels, and sixty-seven consonants, this may take some time.”

“Thanks, Relly, guess we should keep talking huh? Hello stranger, my name is Eileen” I gestured to myself, “and this is one of my partners Jenel.”

It was rather weird that the more I talked the more agitated the creature seemed to be, and the translation software was kinda slow. But if what Reliance said about the language was true that was hardly surprising.

“Good ***ning young banana I ****** babel fish.” The translation software suggested, which did not clarify things in the least, unless they were swearing at me a lot, and assumed I had stolen their supply of bananas or something. I somehow suspected that the translation software may not quite have gotten the nuance of this language just yet.

“OK if we keep talking like this then the software will figure out what we are saying soon enough,” I replied, doing my level best to keep a straight face, meanwhile to keep Jenel calm I reached out and gently ruffled her hair, she was a bit like a cat on that front.

“Dragon, mango ******* Broccoli, tentacle, calamari. you, light meat, dark meat, and the giblets.” They shot back, did this translator default to dining on other worlds or something?

“Just keep trying, it will get the hang of it eventually, I promise, sorry this is all new to me, this is my first, first contact, and despite the augs I’m kinda new at the whole Captain thing.”

“Young biped, are you **************** *********** ******* ********”

“We’re getting close, try again” I encouraged, at this rate odds were pretty good the software would get the hang of it soon enough.

“Young biped, are you aware you appear to have an opening in your top tendrils and appear to have been infected by some kind of parasite? I advise you seek medical attention as soon as possible, as all signs from this planet so far indicate this condition may be hazardous to your health.

I thought about that for a moment, maybe the translation software was still glitching. But what they were talking about definitely grabbed my attention. “Say again please?” I asked.

“You appear to have some kind of infestation that has burrowed into the area beneath what I can only assume are your eyes. Please do not be offended I have never met a creature with binocular vision before, so I hope you are not offended.”

“You mean my mouth?” I asked, I really really, really hoped I was right, the last thing I needed right now was first contact AND a mystery orifice that I had somehow failed to notice.

“It has a name, so I assume the creature dwelling in it is to be expected of your species?”

“Creature? Do you mean my tongue? Perfectly natural I can assure you.”

“OH thank goodness, I was worried when I discovered the remains of others of your species on this world all bore one, but it seems in this case correlation and causation are not linked. I was concerned about being exposed to a contagion.”

“Nah you’re fine, my tongue is not contagious, but I kinda need it to speak, among other things.”

“Oh I see, a symbiont, how fascinating.”

At that point, I figured I’d had quite enough explaining my anatomy to the alien, and settled for steering the conversation to less awkward topics.

“May I ask why you’re here?” I asked, it wasn’t often you met a completely new species on an abandoned scrap planet.

“I became stranded here during my pilgrimage, so have been attempting to observe the local sentients, at least the living ones, I did endeavour to communicate with them, but until you, I have been unsuccessful. They allow me to feed them but do not respond in any language I understand.”

“Local sentients?” Jenel asked, seemingly readying herself to fight if needed.

“Mind introducing us to these sentients? It seems you’ve managed to establish a fairly amicable relationship with them.”

“Of course, follow me.” He replied, and turned to lead the way. I don’t mind telling you I’ve seen many strange things in my life, but watching what I can only call an alien starfish thing in multi appendaged power armour waddling away, while still capable of watching us was definitely a first. That they gesticulated wildly with their graspers like a human would talk with their hands while doing so only added to the oddity of the experience.

“They dwell inside” they explained, as they approached. “I advise you to approach quietly, however, as unexpected noise causes them to become startled.”

Oh god please tell me that this guy (if guy they are, I’m not really sure about alien genders, and definitely not sure if they subscribe to a binary at all,) hasn’t been trying to befriend the local cockroach population or something. That would lead to a plentiful supply of nightmare fodder. Still, I had to know, so I took a moment to brace myself, readied a weapon, and entered.

It took me and Jenel ten minutes to stop laughing, and even longer to explain that we were not in fact trying to warn off the residents over some kind of territorial dispute. Apparently, they had spent the last few weeks trying to talk to the cleaner drones, under the assumption that their capability to sense their environment and adapt was a sign of sentience.

“Oh god, they aren’t going to communicate, no matter how much you try. they’re machines.” I tried explaining.

“Is there some form of caste system between artificial entities in your communities?”

“Yes, I mean, no, I mean, sort of, we don’t produce sentient machines, and machine learning is limited.”

“Yet you are both biomechanical in nature? I am confused. Is there a triple-tier caste system, or are those with biological components just considered superior?”

“OK this could take a while, so let’s try taking this from the top, I’m not sure the translator was working right when we were introduced, so I never caught your name. So let’s start with introductions. I’m Eileen, this is my partner Jenel, and you are?”

“Oh, where are my manners? It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Bleyk.”

“Alright then Bleyk, you said you were stranded? So are we, however, we might be able to repair our ship and tell security we have permission to be here, so would you like a lift out of here?”

“That would be wonderful, my ship is definitely not salvageable using any components here, so I would be happy to work and earn my passage.”

I was pretty sure there was something else on their mind as well, but for now, negotiating an additional pair of hands (well... ish) was a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. Jenel seemed a little unsure about what just happened, but she trusted me. God alone knew why, but she did.

“We’ll have to get the approval of the final two members of my crew once we get back, pretty sure they’ll be alright with it though. Nara will probably stare a bit mind you, but Reliance? I can ask her right now.”

“You do not need my approval for new crew Captain, you outrank me.”

“Even so, the ship is your body, what goes on onboard is your choice far as I’m concerned, so I’m asking you now.”

“Then I have no objections, though I would like to request permission to flag them as a diplomat, having a diplomat on board allows me to access components that until now were locked.”

“Sweet, do it, let’s get to the good stuff.”

“Uhh, Eileen?” Bleyk asked. “Who are you in communication with right now, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I’m talking to my ship.”

“you mean the individual you referred to as Nara?”

“No Nara is crew, and a partner, Reliance is the ship.”

“I see, may I ask one more thing?”

“feel free.”

Bleyk suddenly seemed a bit more fidgety, I’d almost say they were shy.

“The Symbiont, it is cute, may I pet it?”