I am in the middle of this battlefield, it’s dark, or maybe I should say it’s red. I take a break and sit down. Too many things just crash down in my head as I fall down. I don’t want to move, I just want to stop, and even if other monkeys or goblins will come, lets them come to me. The exaltation of surviving disappears replaced by the dread of existence. Why should I even stand up?

I don’t know how much time just passed but I don’t know what to do. The battle to survive loops in my head like a horror movie. Do I want to continue? No, I just want to stop.

I don’t even know why should I survive. I lost all my life; I lost my loved ones. I could just die, pierce my head with my spear, but I can’t. Because I am not dead. That’s the only thing that matters.

Years ago, I promise my sisters to not kill myself. It was a hard promise to make, I suffered too much. And strangely, even with nothing left, in this fucked world filled with monsters, I continue to find the strength to fight, to not give up. Not because life is sacred and we need to live intrinsically. And it’s clearly not the same as before, I am alone, there will be not one to give me love and strength.

I could die and it’s ok. It’s ok to die, but there is a reason why I will not stop. There is a reason why I didn’t stop fighting the goblins and I stand up to kill the monkeys.

It’s simple, I don’t want to be eaten. I will not be eaten.

It’s terrifying me. There is something primal in me that’s refuse to let me finish in the stomach of a monstrous monkey. I can resume it by: better be dead than let those fucking monkeys eat you. I am sure the memory of having goblins on me, eating me alive, will haunt my dreams for many nights.

Strangely my despair shifts into even more hate toward the monkey. I can’t die and let them eat me, it will be way better to die after I kill them all. The simple idea of killing them gives me the strength to calm down and look forward.

Oh, and there is another thing that forces me to not stop: My level and my sweet, sweet new spear.

Congratulation, you killed a man-goblins, 5.

…

Congratulation, you killed a le-monkey, 4.

…

Congratulation, you killed a le-monkey, 22.

This is addictive, to have a notification for each kill, it’s like someone just watched me and congratulated me. I killed 8 man-goblins, 9 le-monkeys I survive and become stronger.

Congratulation, you learned the class skill Charge.

Congratulation, you learned the class skill Shout.

Litchi: level 15 Spear beginner.

Mana: 25/33

Blessing: living treasure.

Stat point: 0

Strength: 39 Intelligence: 33

Dexterity: 40 Wisdom: 39

Endurance: 42 Willpower: 28

Class Skills: Spear mastery 18, Pierce 10, Charge 4

General skills: Pain resistance 4, Shout 2

Blessing of the living treasure:

Gift class equipment at an important level Major self-cleaning Major poison and disease resistance. Major savor and smell enhancement. Minor regeneration increase.

I have unlimited power! Soon I will shout lightning and Palpatine will be proud of me.

My stats are awesome, maybe one day I will have the luxury to test how they scale. There is maybe a mathematical expression under it. Charge let me charge like a space rocket. Shout let me intimidate and destabilize my preys. The combo of all my skill is extremely deadly, shout charge and pierce.

The best is obviously my blessing. Maybe I am a Japanese high school girl given a cheat and a quest to kill the demon king. If it were a Japanese web novel this could be a flag.

And then there is my spear. My beautiful spear. She is a bit shorter than me, around 1,70 meters. And yes, she is a beauty. Her wood is blood-red and the blade is a slim and long green leaf. Her butt ends in a small green pike. It’s hard to see in the night but there are metallic green rings on the wood.

With it, I feel like I could kill any monster. Well, leveling up is the best motivator.

Kill, survive, and grow stronger, is a very hard feeling to describe. Just after wanting to just stop moving, now I want to shout to the forest to come and challenge me. I want to make them understand I am here to kill them. Litchi, calm down. Let’s just heal a bit and then look for a place to sleep.

I try to meditate and help my regeneration but the combat afterglow makes it hard to concentrate. My mind walks the razor edge between depression and hate.

Sometimes later I stand up and walk around. My wounds stopped bleeding and that my legs function normally. I have the impression of walking in a lake of viscus pain. Better suffering than to be eaten.

Guess what I see, a small monkey discretely eating a corps. I instantly shout charge and pierce. I hear a noise on my left and see another le-monkey running away. He is more agile and despaired in the tree. I am too slow as the exhausting hit be back, but he is afraid of me. Good.

Using three of my skill exhausts me too much, I should be careful.

----

It's night, and I walk slowly looking for a nice place to sleep. I find some good place but of course, the monkeys came back, they surely want to ambush me in my sleep. It’s ok, I will not sleep tonight, but I am a generous woman, for every monkey that will follow me, I will put them to sleep.

So, I walk slowly in the night and for each goblin that I meet, I calmly kill him. Just after I go away to hide. I need to wait for a few seconds to have the right timing. I charge back surprising the monkey that was eating the corps. Easy ambush, the monkeys are too slow for my charge and I kill them quickly. Now I understand why there are so many psychopaths in fantasy stories, the bliss of leveling is a mix with the joy of killing your enemies.

The night pass and less and less monkey wish to follow me, I can wonder why?

And even better, with the first ray of light, I discovered a river. This muddy river is 20 meters large and I don’t think I could cross it. As I approach it, I feel the mud on my feet, it’s cold and soft and really refreshing. I just want to swim in it but I am sure that the river is filled with aquatic gluttonous fish. After watching the water for some time, I decide to risk it and drink. Even muddy the water is deliciously invigorating. Maybe I should follow the river but I need to sleep. Two nights without sleeping is a bit too much. And my mind is going all over the place, sleeping will make me stop thinking.

While my head debate on what to do, my body decided to build a small shelter. First, I find a good place between two strong roots. Then I cut a good number of giant leaves to make a bed. Of course, I destroy nothing around my shelter, this need to be a hidden place. After finishing the bed my body wants to just sleep. I resist, I need to finish first. Amazingly, my desire of sleeping becomes stronger and stronger the closer I am to finish my shelter. Next, I create a roof with branches and ferns. To finish I add random vegetation to make it more natural. Perfect.

As I enter and fall on my bed, I feel almost protected, safe. My body starts to fall asleep but my subconscious resist, I am listening to the outside noises. I have the “what is this noise outside of the tent?” paranoia.

Congratulation, you learned the skill Sleep resistance.

Ok, it’s time to sleep.

----

I wake up sweating, almost shouting. I just had a nightmare, and I don’t want to think about it. I exit the shelter and the sun is in the middle of the sky. I sleep in all morning and I now feel way better.

My method to forget about a nightmare is to do something, to occupy my mind. I need to choose which direction I will take. I could go up the river or down. I don’t know if there is a difference, so let’s just go up to paradise.

As I start to walk I revue my imaginary to-do list. I have fruits, water, a weapon, I can easily build a temporary shelter. I need to find civilization but I hope to meet people by following the river. The next thing that I meet is obviously more magic. This is obviously the next point in any respectable to-do list.

For now, I can boost my regeneration and shout. Because yes shouting is a magic skill, from what I noted it costs almost no mana. A big shout just uses a few magic points. It’s obvious that I need to work on the mental effect of the skill is the magical part, I need to make it more powerful, not just make it louder.

I start training my Thu'um. My first mission is to push more mana in the skill. I try to do the same mental manipulation of my boosted regeneration. I can feel the effect of moving mana way easier by shouting than regenerating. Regenerating is passive and hard to understand what can I do. But shouting is an easy commended action. I can even create an information feedback loop between my mental exercise and the volume of my shout.

The time pass and no new monkey appear. I meet some goblins but I quickly kill them.

At some point, I try to visualize the mana in my body. I try some classic magic variant, an aura, a gas, a liquid and one of them just click. I imagine it like a blue fluid composed of many small blue balls. If I am concentrated, I can differentiate the balls, but outside of my focus, it’s just fluid. I try to hold the image of the classic cultivation pathway, fluid flowing in my body composed of tiny balls.

I try to imagine as many balls in my lungs at the same time. It’s harder than I thought, trying to five independent objects is my limit. Then as I shout, I contract my lungs at the same time to push the mana.

“Fus”

Nice, this shout was way louder than the usual, I can even see ripples on the water.

Congratulation, you learned the skill Mana Manipulation.

Yes! With the skill, my visualization becomes instantly clearer.

I use the rest of the afternoon to train my new skill. I try many possibilities, maybe too much. I try to push the mana outside me, I try to coat myself, I try to project it with a shout, I try to feel the exterior mana and manipulate it.

I even try some cultivation techniques. I push my mana to form a Dantian. And of course, I try to circulate my mana in an imaginary pathway.

Nothing seems to work but’s it’s ok.

Right now, I am feeling well, almost happy. It’s because I know I am not alone in those mountains. As I check all the classic cheats and help of a new isekai, I found this.

Congratulation, you discovered an aspect of your blessing: Understanding of the gluttonous language.

If there is a language spoken in the gluttonous mountains there should be people that speak this very specific language. If there are people this means that I am not alone and someone will help me leave this hell!

I wonder who gifts me this blessing. It’s clearly someone how wants me to survive, someone thinking that I am his treasure. It’s very nice to know that someone loves you even in this strange world. Just knowing that other people exist and could help me is extremely comforting, especially when I notice a new monkey trying to follow me.

He is not even trying to stay hidden, well I am sure they have been following me since I started to train my noisy skill. There are maybe five or more monkeys in the trees on my left. There is a bit of distance between us because of the lack of trees around the river bank.

I think it’s time for a new massacre.

????: 28