My feet dragged along the ground as I neared the edge of my former home. My vision started to blur a while ago, the surroundings blending into one another one moment and clear the next. It was getting harder to stay upright as my right side was holding me back. I tried to move my hand at some point, but nothing came of it, so my arm just hung there, a dead weight that only slowed me down.

With every step, I drew closer and closer to the house, but I wasn’t really thinking about that anymore. Despite the pain in my right side and my damaged eyes, only one thing was on my mind. Straight ahead of me, constantly out of reach she stood there, urging me forward. She looked really pretty, she was always pretty, but the bags under her eyes were gone and she was wearing a fancy white dress I never saw her in before. Even though she wasn’t walking I could never reach her. I wanted to run up to her but I couldn’t even walk without the spear in my left hand much less chase after her.

“Geisai, that’s it come to me, come to mommy.”

All of a sudden I was back inside my home, struggling to reach mom, who was kneeling on the opposite side of the room. I didn’t even know what she was called back then, but I did know she was a source of warmth in the cold drafty house and if I could reach her I would be warm too. There was a constant ache in my legs, but that had been there for so long I’d become used to it. With my all of the strength my little legs could muster I attempted to stand up only to fall down immediately.

“Come to mommy, please come to mommy.”

At the time I didn’t notice the desperation in her voice back then, the only thing I cared about was being warm. I tried to stand up again, however, my legs were still unstable. Lucky when I started to fall I managed to catch myself on the wall. It was a weird experience for me to be standing, but after a while, the moment discovery passed and I began to inch my way towards mom. Mom urged me forward with every step and, while I did stumble over my own feet a few times, I eventually managed to reach her. With a final push, I managed to reach her open arms. Her warmth and orange glow were so welcome that it was impossible not to let her embrace me.

“Auch!!”

I came back to my senses when I stepped on a flaming log with my right foot. I jerked my foot away and clumsily backed away from the campfire. When I checked the bottom of my foot, I saw it had already begun to swell up. Just like my arm, it wasn’t healing like it normally did. Maybe something was wrong with me? Probably had something to do with that blue ball Nonia had thrown at me.

I cautiously set my foot down and took a look around the camp. The first thing I noticed were the three adults laying on the ground. One of them was an old man beside a fallen boar right where the food had been hung up. A couple of the leather bags had been cut down and the old man was missing his shield. The other man laid close to the house and was the one I managed to hit with my sling when I first came here. A purple bruise had started to form on his broken leg and the way his body was sprawled along the ground made it seem like he'd been trying to get away from something and was attacked from behind. Finally, there was the woman that had been traveling with Nonia, she was in between the man with the broken leg and the guard by the food, and out of all of them, she looked the worst. There were shallow cuts all along her face, a large bump on her forehead, and the midsection of her dress had wet brown lines running through it.

When I took a closer look at the camp, I notice that the trees around the food had deep cuts in them and some of the bushes in the area had been cut in a weird manner. The house’s door was still shut but the floorboards were creaking. All of this together explained what happened to the other kids and why other adults didn’t join the others when things started to get loud on in the forest.

Aiyana had managed to do what she set out to do. She wasn’t just smart she was capable too. Either way, there was only one thing left to take care of now. Mom suddenly appeared again, right in front of the place I needed to go. I didn’t even notice that my feet had begun moving again, taking me closer to my goal and my mother.

“Geisai, you need to do better than this.”

Mom was stood over my shoulder as I tried to write down the strange symbols she had been teaching me without breaking the reed pen. I’d already broken the previous three and the work I managed to do wasn’t acceptable. I usually liked it when mom taught me things, but this writing just seemed boring and unimportant compared to things like animal skinning and knot tying. My hand trembled a little as I brought the freshly dipped reed to the piece of parchment. However, my first couple of strokes ended up tearing the parchment and I accidentally snapped the pen when I pulled my hand away from it.

“Sorry.” My voice came out softer than normal as I hung my head after another accident. No matter how many lessons I had I always lost control of my strength when I was nerves. We didn’t have much, to begin with, yet I kept breaking things.

“Haah, it’s okay Geisai. When I go back to the village I’ll pick up some more. You don’t have to cry.”

I hadn’t noticed the tears running down my cheeks until she brought it, but I couldn’t stop them even as I wiped them away as fast as I could.

“Why do I have to do this?!” I could hear how high my voice had become when I shouted at mom. It wasn’t her fault that writing was difficult for me, but she was the only one I could direct my frustration at. However, she didn’t shout back at me, instead, she hugged me and tried to comfort me in her own way.

“Geisai, I’ll love and support you no matter what, however, I won’t always be here for you. I want you to have more than what I can give you, but because of what you are others will try to stop you from achieving anything.”

She paused for a moment and drew away from me. I could see myself reflected in her green eyes, and I also do something else in her eyes, but I didn’t know what it was. After a moment, mom finally opened her mouth again.

“You’re gonna have to try twice as hard as anybody else just to get half as far. I know it's not fair, honey, but fairness is a rare commodity in this world. That’s why I want you to have as many advantages as I can provide you.”

“Why should I even do anything if things are gonna be that hard for me?”

The smile she gave me when I asked her that question seemed a little sad. “Honey, you’ll understand when you’re older. Now, I’ll put this stuff away and get started on dinner. Why don’t you review the copies I made, they should be in the top dresser drawer.”

“Alright.”

I stood up and ran to the dresser, only for something to hit me in the back of the head, making me fall down just in front of it. When I looked up, I saw a boy around Aiyana’s age standing over me with a tree branch. His hands were shaking and he looked more scared than anything else. I could see the house door had been opened and a couple sets of eyes were looking at me from behind it. I probably would have noticed him if my mind hadn’t been focused on my mom, who’d disappeared again.

The boy rose the branch and prepared to hit me again. I turned on my back and lifted the spear shift in between his legs as hard as I could. The boy dropped the branch and fell to his knees, holding his private parts with his hands. That hit slowed him down but he could still get up from that.

I needed to get away before the boy recovered or the others realized they could attack me all at once and win. Turning over again and getting to my knees “bawah”... it was a bit too much for me and I throw up everything in my stomach. Everything hurt but what I was after was right in reach, I lifted my hand from the spear and opened the bottom drawer. The jewelry box was still there and I opened it to find mom’s bracelet, the green stones gave off a low gleam under the light of the campfire. When I saw the furniture had been moved out of the house I was afraid someone would have taken it.

Aiyana had her broken dagger so I should at least get this one thing, right? I grabbed the bracelet and placed it my mouth, allowing me to grab the spear and get to my feet once more. The boy was still holding his privates and when I looked toward the house the door was slammed shut by the people inside. I wished things didn’t have to be this way, but the world can be a cruel place after all.

I began walking away from the only home I ever knew for the last time.

…

..

.

Mom had appeared again at some point, but it didn’t matter anymore. She was in the direction I needed to go in so I just had to follow after her. As long as I was with her everything would be alright. No matter what happened she always seemed capable of handling it.

“It’s okay baby, everything's gonna be okay.”

It’d been a year or so since I’d learned to walk, and mom had planned to take to on my first trip outside. However, a large thunderstorm was raging and nearby lightning strikes had me crying in mom’s arms. Every beat of thunder sent a shiver through my spine and caused me to squeeze my eyes shut tighter.

“It’s okay, mommy doesn’t like the rain either. As long as we’re together nothing's gonna hurt us.”

Mom tried to comfort me for but I sunk deeper into her arms as another lightning bolt struck somewhere nearby.

“Geisai…”

It was safest here. Like she said nothing would hurt me as long as I stayed with wrapped in mom’s arms. As she began to hum me a lullaby, the thunder outside lost my attention. Only her warmth of her body and the lull of her voiced mattered.

“Geisai...”

Nothing else mattered, I just had to stay here. Just stay in this nice warm place.

“GEISAI!”

A voice shouting my name like a beat of thunder snapped me out of my dream. I’d fallen to my knees a short distance away from the meeting place with Aiyana. Mom’s bracelet lied just in front of me and I let go of the spear in order to grab it, however, I struggled to even lift my arm anymore.

“Geisai!! Geisai!!! Geisai, answer me!”

The voice from before was getting closer. I turned my head to the right and saw Aiyana was running towards me as fast as she could. She was carrying the missing round shield and had a couple food bags dragging along the ground behind her. As she came closer I noticed her bottom lip was split, one of her eyes was swollen shut, and there were shallow cuts on her arms and legs.

“Humhamumum Humhamumun.”

My head snapped forward when I heard the humming again. Mom stood there in the distance, her eyes looking down at me as if she were waiting for me to do something. I wanted to call out to her but my voice wouldn’t come out. All I could do was lift my left hand higher. If I could just reach her, I knew my arm, my foot, and my eyes wouldn’t matter anymore. The people that had hurt me wouldn’t matter, nothing else would matter ever again.

Mom began to draw closer as my eyes became heavier and heavier, after spending the whole night at a distance she was finally coming to get me. However, Aiyana reached me first.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Please don’t die...”

I could hear her crying as Aiyana hugged me. However, mom stood over us now, her hand outstretched and waiting for me. Her fingertips were just out of reach, just a little more and I would be with mom again. One more, just one more push is all I needed. But, Aiyana suddenly drew me deeper into her embrace, putting all the more distance between me and my mother. We were so close, yet so far away.

Aiyana’s warmth didn’t come close to mom’s and she was a bit awkward as she rocked me back and forth in her arms. I strained my arm to reach mom, but the next words Aiyana spoke caused me to pause.

“Please, don’t leave me alone.”

It was barely a whisper but I heard her plea. My arm fell to the ground, just before I could grab mom’s hand. I knew that if I took her hand I wouldn’t just be leaving the fear and pain behind, I would be abandoning Aiyana with them. If I took mom’s hand I would be running away from the things I still had. With what little strength I had left, reached deep inside myself and pulled out what little I had left. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough, a flash of gold momentary blanketed the area. When it passed mom was no longer there and the dark finally took me, yet one thought managed to cross my mind before everything went dark.

In this cruel world, I wouldn’t abandon those that cared for me.

Never Again.