《Saints Row: The World Is Yours》Chapter 8 - I Wanna Murder with Shaundi
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It was five in the morning and Shaundi was preparing herself for the final episode of her TV show entitled I Wanna Sleep with Shaundi, putting on her skinny jeans, jacket, and a crop top that has the Saints color in it to represent the gang who has made it into the mainstream media. And that means the high-ranking member of the Saints are forced to wake themselves up for backup in case Shaundi's plan will not be executed as planned.
"Okay, Shaundi. Can you hear me? Give me a thumbs up if you do." Kinzie was the one talking to Shaundi by a mini-camera attached to the mirror on her room located backstage.
Shaundi was applying her lipstick carefully when she heard Kinzie's rather audible voice, disarranging it. "Hey! What the fuck? You tone that shit down, it's too loud."
"Sorry, I'll adjust it so that you can only hear it." The redheaded hacker puts the volume of her voice down so that only Shaundi could listen to it.
Miguel and Oleg were sitting beside Kinzie, and it was obvious that he wants for some more sleep. "Seriously? Do you have to wake me up? I could barely open my fucking eyes."
"Relax, boss. You're still a weakling compared to me. I don't even know what sleep means." Kinzie reminded them that she is not sleeping anymore while hacking through the cameras around the studio.
"The fuck did you say?" The Boss yawned after saying it.
"Nothing." She successfully hacked through the cameras located in the set.
"Spill your fucking coffee on Boss." Shaundi could hear Miguel through the camera that has a built-in microphone in it.
"Will do, and thank you for the devices you stole from STAG, by the way. The Cryptographic Sequencer and Device Disruptors could be useful for the time being." Kinzie thanked her for the equipment they managed to stole from the Thermopylae.
"See? It's still a win-win situation." Shaundi knew that she would love the present.
"I wish I was there to disable whatever the Morningstar brought." The redheaded hacker wished to be in the studio to lend a hand.
"Excuse me, again?" Shaundi responded, trying to get the right makeup that suits her.
"She just wants to tell you that the Morningstar might be there to breach the taping then reveal that the guy you will pick to win the show is a part of their band and you'll get tagged and-" Miguel's mouth was shut by Kinzie's hand.
"Boss just wants to tell you that watch your back. I mean seriously, the guy already blew his cover by wearing red colors." She implies that Shaundi should be aware of anything that will get her to danger during the live feed.
"Alright, whatever you motherfuckers say." She shrugged it off to agree with them.
"You two watch Shaundi while I do my research on Markova's whereabouts." Oleg moved around his seat, opening his laptop to start the tracking.
"Speaking of... I presume that you two might have some history that isn't on KGB's records." Kinzie faced the former KGB agent, intertwining her hands.
"We do have a fair share of missions we went through before the shutdown," Oleg tells her that they teamed up before.
"What was she like?" She asked what Ana was all about.
"She was just like you back then, but you see, she was injected with this serum that changed her into a metahuman freak." He opened up about what turned Ana into a deranged Cyber goddess.
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"What kind of serum are we talking about?" She asked curiously.
"The kind of serum that could match up to my brains and brawn. It unlocks fifty percent of your brain capacity and at the same time, it makes you strong as a Siberian bear." He explained the content of the serum inoculated to Ana.
"Interesting." Kinzie liked how it sounded like.
"Y'all need to steal that serum for me and inject that shit on my neck." The Boss also shows interest in the serum.
"Relatively speaking, it's already phased out. They don't make it anymore. Ana was the last subject for the testing, and she was the only one who survived and acquired it." Oleg informs them that the serum formula is no more.
"Then we should steal the documents that have the formula back in Russia, we're making money out of that shit," Miguel demanded.
"It's not commercially available, Boss. Alright, moving on. The show's about to start in an hour. Shaundi, you make sure that the camera's turned off when you do the killing, okay? Consider the audience who's watching it live." Kinzie turns her attention to Shaundi's mission.
"You need backup out there, Shaundi? I'll send in some backup just in case." The Boss offered to Shaundi.
"No, I'm fine. But thank you." She just thanked Miguel for it.
"Wait... Did you guys just hear Shaundi thanking Boss?" Kinzie notices it.
"There's no big deal in it, Kinzie." Shaundi dismisses what they heard.
"You heard her." The Boss crossed his arms.
"Their tarnished bond is now fixed, Kinzie. Shaundi's right, it's not a big deal." Oleg told them to not go on where they're going.
"Alright, no big deal. I'm just glad that this season's finally over and I get to take a rest from the cameras and shit." Shaundi stood up from her seat, leaning to take a look at herself in the mirror before hiding a pistol in her pocket.
"Also... I have something to tell you guys." Miguel seized the time to unveil his plans for their publicity.
"Go right ahead, Boss." Kinzie allows him to speak up.
"I find our exposure to the mainstream media as a cringe-worthy mess, and I found a way to change our image in public." He found a way to win the heart of the masses.
"This better not be some sort of Saints Flow commercial just like what Pierce did, and don't even dare marketing Gangstas in Space in my fucking TV show." She doesn't want any forms of media from the Saints getting plugged into her show.
"The movie's already released, and be glad that I didn't bring Jenny to become a Saint." Miguel reminded Shaundi that their film Gangstas in Space is now in the theaters.
"Jenny's actually here right now, you can talk to her if you want." She looked at Jenny who was beside her preparing for her cameo.
Jenny stopped brushing her hair when she heard Shaundi. "And who are you talking to, Miss Shaundi?"
"The guy who you worked within the Gangstas in Space movie, say hi to him, he could see you on the camera." Shaundi pointed at the mini-camera on her mirror.
"Well, this is the first time we get a proper conversation while being out of character Jenny. What's up?" Miguel greeted the actress he once worked with.
"I'm so excited to show up in Miss Shaundi's show, it looks so fun! Oh, speaking of. I'm kinda sad that this is the last season of I Wanna Sleep with Shaundi. I've been watching this show before I was even showing up in front of a camera." Jenny shows her side as a fan of Shaundi.
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"Well, I guess that sounds better than an autograph." The Boss joked about their statuses.
"I'm glad that Jenny was the one who's doing a cameo and not Josh." She expresses her relief about Birk not getting called to show up on her show.
"Joshua Birk is an amazing actor! He has methods and everything, it's something that I don't have..." After saying it, Jenny pouted.
"Yeah, but as a person? Ugh, don't get me started. He proposed to me, six times! Isn't that fucked up?" Shaundi starts to show her experiences with Josh's infatuation towards her.
"No shit, Shaundi." Miguel simply took a sip of his coffee.
"What if he's one of the guests, though?" Jenny started to give Shaundi some things she shouldn't be expecting.
After hearing it, the Boss spat his coffee. "Excuse me, what the fuck? Josh hijacking Shaundi's show to be one of the contestants? Hell no."
"Was I being too suggestive? I'm so sorry." Jenny apologized for what she said.
One from the backstage crew called for Shaundi. "Looks like it's your cue, girl. The audience is waiting."
"Thanks, um, inform Jenny if it's her cue as well." She took a deep breath, going out of the curtains to go to the set and start the show.
Kinzie taps Miguel and Oleg's shoulder, telling them that the show's already airing. "Hey, look alive, it now started."
"Popcorn," Miguel asked for something to eat while watching the show.
"You get your own, Boss." Oleg doesn't want to share.
"Come on, Oleg. Sorry if I fuck up your chess match with Pierce all the goddamn time." He tries to persuade the brute.
"Now that comes in handy." Oleg passes the popcorn bucket on him.
While watching the show, they were betting on the contestants even if it is already pre-determined. Once they were halfway through the show, Shaundi does her best to not break character, and the contestants were determined to win the dating show that was hosted by her. And after a short commercial, Jenny came out on live television to make an appearance at the final episode of I Wanna Sleep with Shaundi.
"Eh, not really interested with Jenny appearing in the show." Miguel rolled his eyes, leaning back from his seat.
"I think her cameo would give the show a rating's boost, not to mention the exposure she will have." Oleg lightens up the atmosphere.
"Hold up, Boss. I think we got a situation going on." Kinzie notices something suspicious from the live audience.
"What's the matter, Kinzie?" The Boss sets the popcorn bucket aside to take a look at the screen.
Kinzie enhances the live feed, zooming the camera into the crowd to emphasize what she saw. "Isn't that your brother Manuel on the second row?"
"Shit... Fuck! I had it with the Syndicate, man!" He was so upset that Manuel attended the show.
"I suggest bringing the Saints into the studio, Miguel. There is no need to overreact." The Russian brute suggested that they should send in the Saints.
"Alright, I'll tell Pierce and the others. Kinzie, tell Shaundi that it's a set-up. I can't let this happen, come on!" Miguel came up with the orders.
The redheaded hacker tries to tell Shaundi that the Syndicate is on the move, but she isn't responding as the show goes on. "Shaundi, cut to commercial. Hey, are you listening? Go off-script, we need a commercial break for distraction!"
It was too late when Shaundi gets to pick the victor for her TV show, choosing the guy wearing red colors before the show ends with her closing remarks. But then, the camera is still going when she lands a knee on the winner's crotch. "You think I won't find out? Where's the Syndicate's new base of operations? Tell me and you won't blow your shot to sleep with me."
"An artificial island might sound ridiculous, chica. But that is our plan for the next few weeks." Manuel jumped into the set, pointing a gun next to Shaundi.
The audience was screaming in fear, panicking that they would get involved with the stand-off. Shaundi raises her hands before using them to trick the luchador, poking his eyelids. "You know how rude that was? Do you think I'm just a cheap whore you drag around for your entertainment? Well, fuck off!"
"I never said that, Shaundi. This is pure business we're talking about, and too bad my brother isn't much of a real man to be here right now." Manuel mentions the Boss's name.
Jenny hid backstage quickly, seeing the Third Street Saints lined up with their guns to provide the TV hostess some backup. "It's Third Street! Drop the gun, you cholo motherfucker."
"Ah, the Third Street Saints. Did you come here for your beloved Shaundi?" The luchador quickly strangled her from behind, aiming the gun at the opposing gun.
"Get off me! Why do you people always have to act as you came straight out of a comic book?! What the fuck is wrong with you, people?" Shaundi attempted to wriggle her way out.
"The camera is still rolling, why don't we put on a hell of a show? Hell, we might even top Murderbrawl XXXI's ratings with this." He smirked, warning them as he sticks the edge of his pistol on Shaundi's head.
Meanwhile, Pierce and Miguel left the crib they were in to make their way to the set. And with more reinforcements by their side, they were determined to take the Syndicate down who is on the studio with Shaundi. Knowing that they would come prepared for a total assault, Manuel called in the Morningstar and Luchadores to stand against the Third Street Saints and their intent to rescue Shaundi from their hands.
Soon as they arrive, a shootout has occurred between the Morningstar and the Saints. Shaundi manages to break free from the luchador's grip as he collapses, landing an elbow to his crotch to loosen it. Kinzie knew that she would guide the gang by keeping an eye on them, accessing the cameras around the studio that she hacked earlier. And with her entry to the cameras all over, she could see what is happening between the heated encounter of the rivaling gangs.
"Boss, Pierce, behind you." She alerted them as a bunch of Morningstar thugs appeared to try to stop them.
"Good call, Kinzie. Tell Shaundi to escape from the set." Miguel thanked Kinzie for the heads up.
"Negative, they locked the whole studio. I'll see if there are some other ways to get in." Kinzie began her search.
"Come on, Miguel. Why do you always get to use the big guns? Let me borrow that shit sometimes." Pierce grew jealous about the gun the Boss is using.
"It doesn't have many bullets left, though. Wanna use it?" He offered it.
"Oh hell nah, I ain't using that. Never mind." Pierce sticks to his pistol to defend themselves instead.
Kinzie found a way to break through the locks. "Okay, listen up. Go to your right, it looks like they haven't secured that door yet. Use the Sonic Boom you guys stole from STAG to breach it."
"Got it." Miguel raises the firearm a bit, performing a quick roll to get into position to fire it in the passageway.
"Now let's show the Morningstar what's up. Think they could still fuck with us, huh?" Pierce ran inside, getting into cover to shoot the members of the Morningstar who has Shaundi trapped.
The Boss held the Sonic Boom firmly, wiping the whole Morningstar goons out of the studio with it. It was an easy job for the Saints to rescue one of its lieutenants from her TV show, and Pierce started to photobomb the cameras rolling to tease some more pieces of media coming from the Saints as a gag. "Don't be sad because I Wanna Sleep with Shaundi is over, smile because It Takes Guts to be A Saint is coming soon!"
"Get the fuck out of the camera, Pierce. You're gonna raise Kinzie's heart rate because of that." He pulled Pierce out of the camera.
"Now that's worse than I Wanna Hang with Pierce! I don't want any spin-offs!" Shaundi disagrees with Pierce's ideas.
"We're running out of members, we need to put on a spectacle to magnet them new peeps!" As Pierce talk, the TV screens around the set began to make static sounds.
Jacques showed up on the screens, giving them yet another warning. "Your resistance would be unnecessary, Saints. Surrender now and we'll make this convenient for you."
"Oh yeah? And what if we don't? Gonna do something about it?" The Boss spreads his arms, daring to challenge the leader of the New Syndicate.
"There is, quite frankly. And it involves... These two love birds reuniting to fulfill their lustful and kinky needs." The screens exhibited Lady Kalashnikov smirking while Dustin and Viola are tied up in the background while wearing a ballgag.
"What is this? Pulp Fiction?" Miguel gets the reference, but it wasn't the right time for fooling around as Shaundi crossed her arms.
"Tell Miss Kensington that going through my profiles isn't tolerated. Now, of course, this is too obvious but fuck it. If you crooked degenerates dare to save these two, I get to pick whose I will blow up. On the other hand, well... Submit, and no one will get harmed." Ana started to negotiate by putting both Dustin and Viola's life in danger.
Shaundi thought of her deal before asking for their response. "What do you guys think?"
"Tell Kinzie that I need that chair after we deal with this shit... We're saving them, of course!"
To be continued...
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