Villainess 4: Janet’s Haunted Escapade

Red Pill 16: Precautions, Agreements

After making them promise not to tell anyone what they’d just heard, Janet and DeeDee answered their questions about the profile books and the shop mentioned in their conversation and the various objects on display for the next half hour. Amongst other questions, Ridley and the Drevis sisters asked if Elba House was really haunted, and DeeDee said that it was, though she observed that the resident ghosts were shy and had scurried off even after she and her friends tried contacting them last night. Then Kevin and Baron Underwood asked if any of the objects on display were enchanted or jinxed, and DeeDee said that the ones in the display cases had enchantments on them or had come from places rumored to be cursed and advised everyone not to touch those objects without her supervision. Then Jean and Mindy asked about her shop and the profile books, but DeeDee said that was privileged information and asked them in the interest of their safety to keep their existence a secret, which they promised they would.

With that, DeeDee introduced the newcomers to the four busts and the three statuettes on the third bookshelf by the back wall, and Mindy and the Drevis sisters ogled at them, and Saraya Drevis ventured to poke at the statuette named May, but May wouldn’t have it.

May slapped her finger away and said, “No poking!”

“Sorry!” Saraya said, wiping her finger on her scarf. “It’s just I’ve never seen talking statues before.”

“Well, now you have,” May said.

“We don’t like being poked, missy,” April said.

So Jean said, “Sorry about that,” and she bowed. “My sister can get a bit too curious, is all.”

Saraya punched her shoulder and said, “So do you.”

Before they started arguing, DeeDee also reintroduced the newcomers to the former belligerents, Christopher Morley and Sir Abram walking through the door and bowing before them as if their war of words was just a stage performance and apologizing for their conduct.

After that, Christopher Morley approached the third bookshelf on the back wall and detached his head from his shoulders, then placed it on the shelf beside his peers and said, “John, old boy, it’s your shift now.”

“Ah, finally,” he said. “Time for some exercise.”

And the headless body took John Day’s head in its hands and positioned it over its shoulders, till John was able to move his head from side to side and up and down like a normal person. He then moved his arms and legs and shifted from side to side, and on finding his limbs in working order, he bowed to the newcomers and said, “Nice to meet you all.”

Then he accompanied his friend, Sir Abram of the Gate, outside in the hallway to resume their guard duties at the double doors and their discussion of old troop tactics.

DeeDee turned back to her audience and said, “All right, was that all of your questions?”

They said that was all, but the crestfallen Mindy and the Drevis sisters added that they must return to their dorms in Guinevere House and inform their maids to move their belongings to Janet’s dorm in Mariana House. In addition, Kevin said that he had swordsmanship practice tomorrow morning before school started, and Ridley said he had a test to study for in the morning, as well. So Baron Underwood volunteered to stay behind and look after Janet, and Janet’s suicide clone ordered five teams of three clones to shadow each of her friends.

Janet’s friends bid her and DeeDee good evening and filed through the doors on their way towards the stairs at the end of the hall, while fifteen clones followed their footfalls, till the entrance doors opened and closed.

Meanwhile, Janet said, “What time is it?”

So the baron pulled back his sleeve and said, “It’s five minutes past four o’clock.”

“Do you think it’s okay if I stand?” Janet said as she pushed herself off the display case onto her good foot and kept her weight off of her injured one. “It’s not as uncomfortable as before,” and she eased her weight onto it.

“Don’t push yourself,” DeeDee said.

“Just be careful,” Baron Underwood added.

“I will,” she said, “don’t worry,” and she looked around the contents of the room again. “We need a sofa and some chairs if we’re making this our clubroom.”

“But I don’t have those,” DeeDee said.

“Then what do you use to sit on?” she said, but then it hit her when she remembered DeeDee’s inanimate doll-like body sitting atop a display case before she woke her up yesterday afternoon in the infirmary. “You don’t need them, do you?”

DeeDee shook her head and sat in the middle of the room like she was sitting on an invisible chair and said, “I can sit anywhere without a seat, but now that I have guests, I must provide for their comfort,” and she got back up. “I’m sure there’s a sofa and some chairs left over in the other dorms, so I’ll go get them, but make yourselves at home.”

“Wait,” Janet said.

“What is it?” DeeDee said.

“I want to help you,” Janet said.

“That’s not necessary,” DeeDee said, “but thank you.”

“Yes, it is necessary,” she said. “There are a lot of rooms in this house, so I want to make myself useful. I don’t wanna sit around like I’ve been doing.”

DeeDee put her hands to her hips and said, “Don’t you have homework? And I’m sure you have make-up work, as well, because you missed your classes yesterday.”

Janet looked down at her book bag beside her on the display case and deflated, saying, “Fine, have it your way.”

“That’s a good girl,” DeeDee said. “Now, if you will excuse me,” and she exited the room and had a little chat with Sir Abram and John Day before walking off down the hallway in search of old furniture, her footfalls echoing away.

After DeeDee left, Janet opened her book bag and got out her textbooks and began reading the assigned readings for Baron Palmer’s class, which she had left off after the end of Homeroom 4. And for the next half hour, Janet speed-read through Baron Palmer’s readings, one by one and was about to start the readings for Father Robinson’s class when she looked over at her club advisor at the big display case staring at the fossils and human skeletons. She thought it peculiar that Baron Underwood occupied his time in staring at human remains, but she chalked it up to a romantic bearing and continued with the assigned reading from Father Robinson’s class.

(Meanwhile, Janet’s suicide clone and her remaining clones crowded around Janet on the display case, and her suicide clone said, “There’s a quicker way of doing that, you know.”

Janet looked up and said, “Is there?”

“Yeah,” her clone said. “DeeDee taught us how to do it this morning before you woke up. Wanna try it out?”

“Sure,” she said, nodding.

So her suicide clone bade her to close her eyes, and when Janet did, all of her clones put their hands on Janet’s head and whispered an incantation she couldn’t discern, their voices like many streams merging into one river into her mind. A flood of memories filled her up like a bathtub to its brim, making Janet jerk and flinch on the display case, till the drain was pulled away, and all the information went into the private library that was her subconscious mind.

Janet sat gripping the edges of the display case, breathing hard and looking up at her clones and saying, “What was that? What the hell did you do?”

“We’ve made your school life easier,” her suicide clone said. “At least the studies portion of it.”

“You gave me all the answers?” Janet said.

“And you’ll thank us later, I’m sure of it,” her suicide clone said. “You’ve got more important things to focus on.”

“Isn’t that cheating? Wait a minute,” she said as other extracurricular studies flashed through her mind. “Horsemanship, swordsmanship, spy craft, self defense, dagger arts, marksmanship— . . . W-what is all of this? I don’t remember signing up for any of these classes!”

“DeeDee added all those this afternoon,” her suicide clone said. “After what happened today, she wants you prepared for anything, and I mean, anything.”

“But where did she get those from?” Janet said.

“From the memories of Sir Abram of the Gate and John Day,” her clone said. “They both have military training, and they’ll be your self defense instructors from now on.”

“You’re kidding,” Janet said.

“We’re not kidding, Janet,” her suicide clone said.

Janet breathed out a sigh, knowing that she’d have to kiss whatever free time she thought she had goodbye and said, “Then when does it start?”

“As soon as DeeDee clears you for practice,” her clone said, “but that won’t happen till this weekend to give you more time to recuperate from what that Prince did to you.”

“I see,” Janet said. “Good.”)

So Janet put her books back in her book bag and pushed herself off the display case onto her feet, leaving her bag, and stalked towards Baron Underwood still peering at the fossils and skeleton in the big display case. Janet’s approach caught Baron Underwood’s gaze through the glass panes, so he stood up and said, “What is it, Lady Fleming?”

“I was just wondering on our way here,” Janet said. “Why were you so quiet earlier?”

“Oh, that,” he said, then looked at the four busts and three statuettes on the third bookshelf by the back wall before turning back to Janet. “Can you keep a secret?”

“I can,” Janet said.

But then the busts and statuettes roused on the bookshelf, and April said, “Oh, a ’secret,’ eh?”

“This is going to be fun,” May added.

“Now I’m curious, boyo,” Thomas o’Reilly said.

“That goes for me, too,” June added.

“Whatever it is,” Martin Keystone said, “do tell us.”

“Tell us all the juicy details,” Daniel Van Weaver added.

Which got Christopher Morley saying, “And if it’s dirty—”

“It’s not like that,” Baron Underwood said.

Then John Day and Sir Abram peeked in from the doorway entrance, and John Day said, “Go on.”

“I wonder what it is,” Sir Abram added.

Then Janet got to thinking about a forbidden romance between a young and ambitious professor and a timid but curious female student, then shook her head of such thoughts and said, “You’ve got everyone wondering what it is, so please tell us. We can all keep secrets, right?”

And all the busts and statuettes and the two door guards nodded their heads.

“See?” Janet said. “Now go on.”

So Baron Underwood said, “It’s a bit embarrassing, but it’s not scandalous, I assure you,” and he turned to Christopher Morley, then back to Janet: “When I was teaching your Classics Studies class this morning, did you notice that everyone was sleeping?”

“Yeah,” she said, “but I tried to stay awake.”

Baron Underwood smiled, saying, “Ah, yes, thank you for staying awake, but believe me when I tell you this: when I started teaching over the summer term, I never once had any of my students sleep during my class, but when I started teaching classes in the fall semester, I’ve noticed all of my students sleeping in my classes. I’ve even asked the help of my mentor Lady Durham for help, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t keep my students from falling asleep. That’s why I wasn’t very talkative on our way to this dorm.”

“I see,” Janet said.

“It’s not much of a secret then,” May said.

Baron Underwood winced and turned to the offending statuette and said, “I mean, I know my lectures are rather dry, but I’m still getting the hang of teaching, you know. You can’t expect me to be perfect when I’m still learning the ropes.”

“Whether your lectures are boring or not,” May said, “students don’t usually fall asleep during class.”

“What do you mean?” he said.

“What my sister’s saying,” April said, “is that somebody might have placed a spell on you, so that your students go to sleep in your classes.”

“W-why would anyone do that?” he said.

“I don’t know,” April said. “I wasn’t in your class.”

So Baron Underwood turned to Janet and said, “You were awake, Lady Fleming, yes?” When she nodded that she was, he said, “What did it feel like when I was teaching class today?”

“Like I was being put to sleep,” Janet said, “and it was wholly against my will, too. I’ll admit that your lecture was pretty dry, but it was staying awake that was the hard part. I had to focus really hard and keep taking notes to keep myself from falling asleep.”

“Can I take a look at those notes?” he said.

So Janet went back to the display case and opened her book bag and rummaged through its contents before pulling out her notebook, saying, “Found it,” and she went back and opened it to the 3rd period entry and handed it to him. “The handwriting is a bit messy.”

“I can read it,” he said.

Janet waited for him to read through it as he turned the pages, then said, “Is something the matter?”

Baron Underwood remained silent for a few moments longer, then said, “Lady Fleming, do you remember nodding off while I was teaching?”

“No, I don’t,” she said. “Why?”

“I’m just wondering,” he said, turning to another page, “because this entry contains automatic writing,” and he circled around the big display case and laid it atop the small display case containing swords and knives and artifacts and pointed to the page before Janet’s eyes. “Read it for yourself.”

So Janet read the part he pointed out, reading to herself the notes she had taken, till she came upon an anomaly that read, ‘Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep,’ and she noticed it continuing that way towards the bottom of the page. As such, Janet looked up at her club advisor and said, “I don’t remember writing this down at all.”

“That’s what I mean by automatic writing,” he said and turned to the next page, which showed Janet’s normal note-taking again. “From what’s written here, I’m guessing the act of turning the page must have snapped you out of it.”

“I’ll ask DeeDee about it when she gets back,” Janet said, then wondered how long DeeDee had been gone. “Professor, do you know what time it is?”

So Baron Underwood pulled up his sleeve and read the time on his wrist watch, saying, “It’s fifteen minutes to five o’clock. She’s been gone for 40 minutes now.”

Hearing that, she turned towards Sir Abram and John Day and said, “Does it usually take her this long to get back?”

“Not that long, no,” John Day said.

“Do you want us to go fetch her?” Sir Abram said.

“Yeah,” she said.

As such, Sir Abram and John Day volunteered to go look for DeeDee, while Janet’s suicide clone said, “I’ll have the clones look for her,” and she ordered her six remaining clones to fan out and check every room for DeeDee’s whereabouts. But just as Sir Abram and John Day and Janet’s clones started on their way, DeeDee’s large lamp blinked with her voice.

“Don’t bother,” DeeDee said.

“Where have you been all this time?” Janet said.

“I’m in an office,” DeeDee said, blinking the light, “talking with the resident landlady of Elba House. I’ve been negotiating with her for over half an hour, but she’s being really stubborn right now. Lady Fleming, can you—”

“I’m not stubborn!” another woman said.

“Then why are you being so difficult?” DeeDee said. “I’ve already stated why I came here with my inventory, and I’ve already explained the circumstances, and I’ve—”

“I’m not talking about a workplace, Miss Marionette,” the woman said. “I’m talking about a residency. You can’t expect me to allow a retailer to take up shop in this house. If I do that, the next thing I know, a hundred other retailers like you will come in asking to set up shop in this house, and I’ve got enough issues with the tenants I have already! And that’s on top of all of your clones of this girl named Janet Fleming: we can’t possibly house all of them here! And then you’re asking for living people to stay here?”

“Only for a fixed period of time,” DeeDee said, “like working hours, you know.”

“Are you kidding me?” the landlady said. “Are you trying to cause an uproar amongst my tenants?”

“I’m not trying to upset your tenants,” DeeDee said. “I just want to settle this matter as soon as possible.”

Silence reigned for a time.

Then the landlady said, “Your business will attract unwanted attention. Heaven knows we already have enough legend-trippers disturbing the peace in this house, let alone the actions of all of these mute clones of yours!”

“I’m aware of that, okay?” DeeDee said.

“Is that so?” the woman said.

“It is,” DeeDee said. “I promise our presence here will benefit you and your tenants if you accept my terms as is. I can compromise elsewhere if you like, but I assure you that I can’t compromise here, lest you mean to put my crew and your tenants in danger of something far worse than me.”

Silence reigned yet again.

“Is that a threat?” the woman said.

“It’s the truth,” DeeDee said. “I’ve outlined my circumstances surrounding my shop and my move into this place, as well as the involvement of others concerned in it. All I ask for in return is access to your network to continue my investigation and a place to stay for my crew.”

Then there came a pause, as if the landlady was weighing the pros and cons of a stranger’s words, till she said, “If it’s as you say, then in return for providing information and housing, I ask that you provide security on these premises.”

“Besides myself and my crew,” DeeDee said, “are there other visitors you’re worried about?”

“Actually, yes,” she said. “There are two others, a maid and a butler, snooping around these premises as I speak. They’re disturbing my tenants.”

“If I shoo them away,” DeeDee said, “will you provide what I’ve asked for?”

“Only if you agree to my terms,” the landlady said.

Silence reigned.

“Then it’s agreed,” DeeDee said.

“Then I’ll draw up a contract tonight,” the woman said. “For those involved in your investigation, have them sign it by midnight tonight, and we’ll go from there.”

“I will, don’t worry,” DeeDee said. “And before I forget, I need a dozen chairs and a table large enough to seat at least eight people. Can you do that for me?”

“Fine,” the woman said. “I just need to check my inventory for anything that’s available.”

Then the light of the large lamp flickered overhead.

“What’s happening, DeeDee?” Janet said.

“She’s just checking her inventory,” DeeDee said, then to Janet: “In the meantime, Lady Fleming, prepare yourself by midnight, for it’s important that you be there at the signing. And the same goes for your clones and your friends and your club advisor.”

“Wait a minute,” Janet said, looking at the sweating face of her club advisor, “why include Baron Underwood? He’s not involved in any of this.”

“That makes him a perfect impartial witness to the signing,” DeeDee said, “so I expect his presence at the signing, along with yourself and your clones and your friends and my crew. Don’t be late now.”

“Wait!” Janet said.

“What is it?” DeeDee said.

“What exactly did you tell her?” she said.

“Everything concerning Miss Edgeworth and yourself,” DeeDee said, “as well as the break-in at my shop and the tampered profile books and your friends’ involvement.”

“Can you trust her?” Janet said.

“This is the spirit world, Lady Fleming,” DeeDee said. “Unlike your world of half truths and white lies, the spirit world doesn’t operate by human standards.”

To Be Continued