Trevon Carter

I pulled away from the parking lot and started on the streets that would take me to Alice's apartment.

"What did you think of tonight's first performance of the school year?" she asked.

"I thought you were beautiful," I replied.

She smiled and looked down at the yellow rose in her hand. Her hair was down now and caressed her cheeks. "What about the other performances?" she asked.

I hesitated. "Ballet might not be my thing except for special occasions or special people," I said as I thought of Arthur.

Her attention went to the buildings and streets outside the window.

"We're not going to your apartment?" she asked.

I never should have slept with her. Especially not on the first date, but she was beautiful and I was finally an adult out on my own for the first time. I was quickly learning that should not mean I was free to do whatever, whenever I wanted. She had just been so beautiful and graceful when she had showed off her dance skills to the freshman ensemble. It had been to advertise the dance department and even though at the time I hadn't been interested in going to performances, I had an interest in her. I might have a thing for dancers even if I wasn't interested in sitting through hours of ballet. Something else I was discovering about myself.

"No. You had a long day. I'm sure you're tired."

Her hand rested high on my thigh. "I'm not that tired." She squeezed. She moved her hand between my legs. My lower half betrayed my brain by responding to her touch.

I moved her hand away from me. "I'm driving," I said.

"That didn't stop you last time," she said and her hand reached for me again.

"Alice!" I hadn't ever raised my voice at her before.

Her hand retracted back into her lap in a flash. I glanced at her. The street lights illuminated her pout and made the tears in her eyes glisten.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have shouted."

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do you know what a yellow rose symbolizes?" she asked.

I didn't answer because I had no idea. I was going to break up with her tomorrow. If the rose meant true love or something, I might have been in trouble.

"Friendship." She threw the rose at my cheek startling me.

I opened my mouth to say I didn't know, but thought maybe it was best if she thought I had known the meaning. It might make it easier to break up.

"Is that want you want to be, Trevon? Friends?!" she shouted at me.

It wasn't the first time she shouted at me and it always made the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end.

"We should break up," I said.

"Break up?! Because of Arthur?"

"What? No." I wanted to tell her to use her 'indoor voice', but I knew that wouldn't go over well, but she was acting like a child. Again.

"I saw the two of you. You were so focused on each other you didn't see me come around the building the first time. I had to go back and come again as if it was my first time."

"Nothing happened, Alice."

"You almost kissed him! Do you think I didn't see that?"

"Is that when you came and left? Because you missed a lot of context. Especially if you weren't paying attention to what we were saying. I didn't almost kiss him." Except that felt like I lie, but she didn't need to know that. It was none of her business now anyway.

"We're not breaking up," she said in a calm voice.

"Yes, we are," I said. "And it has nothing to do with Arthur. Don't blame him. I almost broke up with you last week before I ever met him."

"Why are you doing this?" her voice whined and a tear glistened on her cheek. "We were doing well. I love you."

"We aren't doing well. You just can't see it. Even if we didn't break up now, this can't last between us. We might as well face the inevitable now."

"No." She shook her head so violently her strawberry blond hair whipped her face. "We're not breaking up. We have a special connection. This is going to last forever."

"You can't just say no to this, Alice." I pulled up in front of her apartment building and stopped.

"I do say no to this," she replied without any indication she was going to take off her seatbelt.

"It doesn't work that way. You want to know why I'm breaking up with you? This is why. We've only been dating three weeks and you're already showing me wedding rings and churches, planning our children's names. I'm only 18. You're only 19. There isn't going to be a wedding, no wedding rings or churches and definitely no children. I don't know what imaginary connection you think you feel, but it is one sided. I definitely don't feel a connection with you."

She screamed and lunged at me, her fingers claw like as they came for my face. I grabbed her thin wrists right before she could claw my cheeks with her fingernails. I made sure I didn't grab her tightly. I didn't want to cause bruises. I just wanted to protect myself.

Her face changed back to a calm facade as quickly as it had contorted into anger. "I'm sorry, baby," she said.

She went to reach for my cheeks this time with her palms, but I flinched away. I didn't want her anywhere close to me.

"I'm not your baby," I said. "Get out."

"But..."

"Get out before I call the police."

"Who do you think the police are going to believe? A pretty, delicate white girl or a young black man."

I couldn't believe she just said that. What in the world had I ever seen in her?

"Who do you think they are going to believe?" I responded. "A poor liar, or a rich man with a lot of lawyers with a black box in his car that can prove everything."

She screamed in frustration, but undid her seatbelt and got out of the car. "You think you're so great," she said to me, "but you're moronic, idiotic, ugly, a bastard. The only good thing about you is your big dick." She slammed the door and walked to her apartment building.

Wow. I did not think breaking up with her was going to go like that. She was crazy. Literally she had tried to claw my face. I was more shaken up about that encounter than I wanted to admit. I was a man. A tall, muscular man. I shouldn't have been afraid of a small, petite woman but I was.

I drove home and got safely inside my apartment. I paced back and forth on the carpet of my living room wondering if I should call and report that to the police. But it was embarrassing to report that I was afraid of someone so much smaller than me. And I wasn't sure that some of that fear didn't emanate from my experience with my older sisters.

I sat down on my ivory couch and took out my phone about to call Alex or Vincent to tell them what happened, but it was almost midnight. They might be asleep. There was someone I thought of who most likely would not be asleep yet.

I selected Beautiful Art and called. After 2 rings I pulled the phone away from my ear. "This is silly," I muttered and was about to hang up, but "Hello, Tall, Dark and Handsome," came from Arthur's bright voice.

"Hello," I said.

"You weren't supposed to call me until you're single," he said.

"I am. I broke up with her tonight. Do you know what a yellow rose means?"

"Friendship," he answered right away without pause. "You didn't give her a yellow rose tonight did you?"

"I didn't know it had any special meaning. I just thought it was pretty. It worked out because we broke up," I said.

"How'd she take it?"

She tried to claw my face off and flat out refused to accept our break up until the very end. Wait...she had accepted our break up at the end right? Getting out of my car and calling me moronic meant she accepted it.

"I don't know," I said.

"I'm sure she's going to blame me."

"I told her it wasn't because of you."

"Doesn't mean she won't blame me for it, sweetie," he said.

A rush of warmth washed through me. "Say it again," I said.

"What? Sweetie?"

There it was again. "Yes."

"Sweetie," he said. My insides went liquidy.

"Come over." I said it without thinking about it.

There was an extremely long pause on the other end that made me squirm on my couch.

"Right now?" he finally asked.

"Yes."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he said. "We haven't even been on a date yet."

"It can count as our first date," I said.

"Can I be honest with you, Trevon?"

I wasn't sure I liked him using my name. I preferred 'sweetie'. Who knew? My chest tightened with sudden trepidation, but I said, "Yes."

"I'm extremely attracted to you and if I read your behavior tonight correctly you are attracted to me and I'm afraid if I come over we'll end up sleeping together and I don't want to be a one night stand."

"I don't do one night stands," I said. "If I did, it would have been a lot easier to get rid of Alice."

There was another long pause before he said, "I also don't have sex on the first date."

I couldn't say the same as I had done it with Alice. "We don't have to," I said. "I can control myself."

"Well, you'll have to because I'm not sure I can control myself. Text me your address. I'll come. See you soon, sweetie." He hung up.

I texted him my address and while I waited I gave myself a silent lecture about controlling myself.