《Gate Guardian - Song of the Frozen Soul》PHASE 62 - I HOPE THIS SCHOOL PLAY WILL NOT GET US SUED
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PHASE 62 - I JUST HOPE THIS SCHOOL PLAY WILL NOT GET US SUED
Disclaimer: This chapter is a parody. No copyright infringement intended. Everything written in here is a reference and serves as a free advertisement.
So cultural festival made its way on Friday. The most awaited play from the Drama Club; Sleeping Beauty will now commence!
Side Note again: I will be shifting to third person to first person view alternately, so don’t be confused. Try to keep up.
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(From the Audience POV)
The first scene began when the curtain opened, and there are two castles in the background. Two royal kings and queens from each side talked about the marriage of their future kids in order to unite the kingdoms.
But then suddenly, there was a thunderous explosion! The skies went dark, as the Evil Witch Maleficent (Tiara Hikari) made her appearance and released an evil laugh!
“Haaa-haaa-haaa-haaa-haaa! I am the Evil Witch, Maleficent! And I am here to curse your children’s fates! Mikeni Mikeni Do Do Doremi! I cast a spell that would kill Aurora once she turns sixteen! Haaa-haaaa-haaaa-haaaa-haaaa!”
(Side note: I think they should fire the scriptwriter.)
The witch slammed her whip to the ground, which made a Wapak! sound. There was a smoke explosion. Maleficent disappeared.
Because of the terror that the witch has spread, The King hid his daughter Princess Aurora (Jeannette von Noctis) in the middle of the vast forest.
There, Aurora sang a sad Disney song which would not be written on this novel due to copyright issues.
One day, an old woman entered the hut where the Princess resides. This old woman was selling apples and gave one for free to the princess.
As soon as the princess took a bite to the apple, the old woman transformed into a witch! It was Maleficent herself!
“Haaaa-haaaa-haaa! I fooled you, Princess Aurora! That apple is poisonous! You will die now! BEGONE THOT!!!”
“Kyaaaa~” Princess Aurora collapsed and slept for the rest of eternity.
Only a true love’s kiss would ever wake her up.
(Side note again: They should really fire the scriptwriter! They merged Snow White’s story with Sleeping Beauty! And what’s with that evil witch’s line anyway!?)
(The next scenes would focus on me because I’m the hero of this play. I’m wearing a white suit with a red cape, and some chest armor and spaulders. I wield a rapier on my waist. This outfit makes me cheesier than my Cthulhu form.)
Prince Philip (Alaric Eisenhower) dreamt that he was in the forest. There, he would find a beautiful girl living in a hut. The first time they saw each other, they fell in love (Yuck!) and they danced while a beautiful background music played.
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(My POV)
Amy was the one who taught me to dance like a prince, so we didn’t have any problems at all. Wait, I got a problem. Is Amy this beautiful before?
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I’ve seen her wearing make-up a lot of times already because of cosplay conventions, but her face here looks so natural but rosy. She fits her role as a princess. Her hair is even braided like one. Her pink long gown and white long gloves make her a real goddess of beauty in another way.
As we danced with precision, I could feel that my chest is burning due to heartbeat overdrive. Some steps of our waltz even made our faces centimeters away from each other, so we could feel our heavy warm breaths. This is not good!
Thankfully, the dance only lasted for two minutes.
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(Audience POV)
Prince Philip then woke up in his room in the kingdom, frustrated that it was all just a dream. He asked for his father’s blessing to find this Aurora chick on the forest, but then the Evil Maleficent made its appearance!
“You’re mine!” Maleficent shouted as she whipped Philip, wrapping his neck! (Ack!) Then the witch dragged the prince away to the backstage.
The next scene was in the dungeon of Maleficent. Prince Philip was wearing a tattered dirty shirt and shorts, and he was chained in the arms and feet. He was helpless as the witch whip and torture him.
(Seriously, what the heck is this scene!? It sounds a lot more like my !!!)
One night, when Maleficent was sleeping, there was an orb of light dancing on the prince’s face. There was a dazzling light, and the orb appears to be the Fairy God Mother!
The Fairy God Mother is a macho man who is wearing a sky-blue nightgown! It was portrayed as Mr. Kent himself!
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(My POV)
“W-What the heck are you doing here, Macho Steel- er... Mr. Kent!” I whispered to my professor.
“My little sister Erich has a fever, so I made a promise to assume her role in this play. I never thought that she was supposed to portray the Fairy God Mother.” Macho Steel cried.
I just made a sorry smile at him. His honor and conviction as a big brother are worthy of my salute.
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(Audience POV)
The Fairy God Mother danced like a ballerina as she/he waved her wand. The magic melted Philip’s bondage, and gave him a sturdy metal armor and a glowing magical sword!
With this, our prince charming broke out of the dungeon. He fought gigantic golems, zombies, clowns and cockroach men! 80% of the whole play is dedicated to the fight scenes. The swordplay choreography together with the glowing lightsaber-like sword makes all the battle sequences an eye candy.
But the thing that hooked the audience most is Prince Philip’s sweat every time he makes awesome hacks and slashes! That sweat drops glitter that makes the prince sparkle and stands out more!
Prince Philip finally made to the evil witch’s hall.
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“I will get away from this dungeon, Maleficent!” The courageous Prince shouted as he pointed his sword to the evil witch!”
“Haaa-haaa! You can never defeat me, Rikkun! I-I mean, Prince Philip!” The evil witch said as she launched flames from her claw hands!
With Macho Steel...err Fairy God Mother’s magic, she gave the great prince a magical shield! Prince Philip used the shield to deflect the flames which burned the evil witch alive!
“Full Counter!”
“Haa-haaa-haaa! This is not even my final form!” Maleficent said. Suddenly, the theme song of Voltes V started playing, as different mascot body parts flew to the witch’s direction and assembled itself!
The witch transformed into a dragon! It has razor teeth, terror-giving red eyes, and fluffy purple skin! It’s certainly...Barney!
Its mouth gave off a flamethrower beam, which burned the prince’s clothes! Now his abs are visible!
(The girls made a deafening shriek upon seeing those, so it became harder to focus on the play.)
The great prince twisted the handle of its sword, and the blade glowed with photon light! He rushed forward, evading the fire bursts the dragon made, and give a finishing slash!
“Y-Your power… It’s over 9000!” Maleficent cried before her dragon body exploded. With this, the prince secured his freedom from the witch’s torture!
At last, the prince made his way to the woods, where the sleeping princess was dead waiting. Princess Aurora is gorgeously sleeping on her bed of roses.
Prince Philip was about to reach the sleeping beauty, but then somebody interrupted!
“Stop right there!” A man with a white suit (Heushac Efilion) shouted. “I am Prince NTR Lolicon Traplover, your evil arch-nemesis! I am the prince who is destined to have Sleeping Beauty’s kiss!”
“Over my dead body!” Prince Philip shouted as he drew his sword and challenged the prince in a duel.
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(My POV)
The echoing clashes of our swords repeats itself on the stage.
Okay, our swordfight here is real. We may be using wooden swords, but this is part of the ‘sparring’ I promised to Heushac. He wanted to learn from my sword skills so that he wouldn’t be dependent on Key’s guidance when the time comes.
But our fight is easily decided. I made a lot of painful hits all over his body, while he hasn’t scored some point yet. I’m quite superior in sword-wielding because I’ve been using a real katana to slaughter Eidolons for a longer time than he is. When he realized that he’s already losing, he cheated.
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“It’s Morphing Time!” Prince NTR shouted. Then a small white girl went onto the stage and kissed the Evil Prince! The stage glowed with a dazzling flash, and then the next time we know it, the Evil Prince is now wearing a high-tech exoskeleton suit!
“Haaaah!” Prince NTR charged his broadsword with flames! “Take this, !!!”
“Wha-?” Prince Philip was astounded!
(Heushac is taking this too seriously! I will have to use my Weapon Gem while acting natural!)
“Ban...kai!” Philip shouted as a magical katana materialized on his hand! But the burning sword slash is so powerful that it launched the protagonist prince!
Prince Philip crashed on the floor. He was severely beaten up by the Evil Prince! How can he defeat the evil in front of him?
Suddenly, Philip pointed at the enemy prince with a smile on his face. “Omae wa mou shindeiru!”
“Nani!” Prince NTR shouted, as his body exploded! When the smoke faded, only our Prince Philip was left on the stage!
(That Jojo reference is our keyword to stop the fight immediately. Once I said those words, the Drama Club would open a door in the flooring that would vanish the wrecking Heushac on the stage. I did it because he’s not controlling his powers effectively in this play.)
Finally, the last scene. Prince Philip slowly walked forward to the sleeping princess. He pushed his face forward, little by little until their lips are inches away.
(As I did these things, there was a sudden flash on my head. I saw an image where Lord Freya was kissing me. The sensation of her gelatin-smooth lips was felt by my mouth. I don’t know if I’m just hallucinating, but it all feels real…)
Before our lips collided, the curtains closed.
That’s it.
A cliffhanger ending.
“And that ends the Drama Club’s special performance in the Cultural Festival!” The announcer spoke. “Thank you for watching the Sleeping Beauty!”
“Aaaaaaaw!!!” The audience shouted.
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(My POV)
I never noticed that I was frozen in my last position until I felt a warm hand on my lips. It was Amy, blocking my kiss with her palm! Being awed, I jumped back and hid my blushing face.
“You’re getting carried away, Ric.” Amy smiled with a teasing reddish face.
“S-Shut up.” I looked away to hide my rosy cheeks.
I shook my head as I refreshed my memory of that hallucination. Those memories of Lord Freya kissing me feels so real that I couldn’t discard it. I have to verify her first.
“Hey, Amy…” I mumbled. “Who is your first kiss?”
“W-What’s that all of a sudden!?” I hit her critical point, which made her flustered.
I made a serious face and released a cold voice. “Just answer it already. Who’s your first kiss?”
“I…” Amy held her chest as she stood up from her bed. “...I haven’t kissed anyone yet, idiot!”
What a terrible liar.
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