PHASE 99 - THE OVERDUE CONFESSION LETTER

And so, the battle against the New Order has been settled. The captured Cursed Guardians are now purified due to the omnipotent powers of the . And now, all the major threats to mankind has been eliminated. There are still Eidolon attacks but it’s now rare as a four-leafed clover.

The operation is generally a success for having only one casualty.

Everything is fine.

...

...That’s not really the case for me.

I have to think over it. We have holidays for a reason, and Christmas is just in the corner. So I had myself on the bus, going home to Mirose Grande...

...Without Amy.

The endless whirring of the bus engine covered my own silence. I was preoccupied with watching the silhouette of the trees pass through. My mind is completely blank, and my heart is filled with sorrow. All I’m feeling right now is pure emptiness.

“Rikkun…”

Tiara is here beside me. She asked permission to spend the rest of the holidays to my hometown, and the head shrine maiden Asumi granted it. I know Tiara’s reasons. She didn’t want me to spend my Christmas in a lonely manner.

Her blue eyes are still filled with sadness, but she mustered her strength to make a smile. “...I’m still here, you know? Necchan’s soul… it’s inside me. I’m both Necchan and Tiara… So… She didn’t really leave us alone.”

I fully comprehended her explanations, but all I can do is to make a face that is trying hard to suppress my tears. When Tiara realized that I’m doing my best, her hand wrapped my cold fingers and her other hand drove my head to her shoulder to lean.

And then, she hummed a song that made me feel at peace.

<>

It was already eight in the evening when we arrived at the Mirose Grande Hospital. I know that Mr. Noctis would be here late in the night, watching his beautiful wife sleeping gorgeously.

They don’t know what happened to Amy yet, and I want to be the one to reveal everything to them. I will grab all the bravery I got to give them this sorrowful revelation. Tiara is here to support me. I know I can do it.

But when I opened the door where Mrs. Noctis was confined, I was the one who was shocked by a wonderful revelation. It was a miracle.

Mrs. Noctis is sitting on her bed, together with her husband. She has finally awakened from a five-year coma. Mrs. Noctis regained her beautiful appearance which has long blonde hair and purple eyes. I almost thought she was Lord Freya, but her gaze at me was more on motherly love.

“Alaric… It’s been a long time…” Mrs. Noctis smiled with tears on her eye.

“...Mrs… Noctis…” I muttered.

“...Come… Take a seat.” Mr. Noctis said.

Tiara and I went in front of them, but both of us refused to lay down. We have a responsibility to be the bearer of bad news.

But as I was about to open my mouth, Mrs. Noctis stopped me.

“...We already know.”

“...Huh!?”

“Jeannette talked to me in my dream.” Mrs. Noctis made a genuine smile. “Your best friend made a long farewell to us. One of her wishes is to revive me from an endless sleep. And it was granted. It was a miracle that only she can achieve. At first, I wanted to stop her, but she said that her life is already full of colorful charms. She’s already satisfied with her life, so she decided to take on the ultimate sacrifice. She had no regrets because of you, Alaric.”

A soft river of warm water flowed on my cheeks. “I...I’m sorry… I failed to protect her…”

“It’s not your fault, Alaric.” Mr. Noctis said with a smile, but his green eyes are now watery. “It’s no one else’s. She did it on herself. All we can do is to honor her sacrifices. It’s our duty as the one who is left behind…”

“You, beautiful girl…” The beautiful mother was pertaining to Tiara. “Can you come closer?”

Tiara nervously walked to Mrs. Noctis. When she was close enough, the blonde beauty held Tiara’s hand, and then placed it on her soft cheek. “Your warmth… I can feel Jeanette in you…Your eyes… I can see her… inside you...”

“...Necchan… I mean Amy… She gave me a part of her soul for me to keep on living… S-She’s a great friend…” Tiara cried silently.

“Can I hug you for a moment?” Mrs. Noctis requested.

Tiara answered with an action. She gently caressed the soft body of Amy’s mother, and the mother returned with a lovely cuddle as if she was her own daughter. For a long time, they enjoyed the warmth of each other’s affection.

This scene is like a painting where a mother hugs her newborn child.

Then Tiara made an inaudible loud cry. Mrs. Noctis also had her tears dropping, but she preferred to stay silent. She’s trying to focus and enjoy the remnant of her daughter’s warmth.

Sniff. Sniff. I can’t prevent myself from weeping. Tears endlessly came out from my eyes, no matter how many times I wipe it. Continuous electricity jolted my jaws, and cold liquid went out of my nose.

Unable to resist, unable to endure, I let out my emotions in a loud holler.

Mr. Noctis wrapped his arm at the nape of my neck and patted my head. Then he spoke with a shaky voice.

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Just cry it out loud. Jeannette’s memories will stay with us, Alaric. Forever. Cherish it.”

<>

I found myself in the waiting room of the hospital. I must have cried enough that my emotions have taken over me, and I didn’t realize that I was already here. Meanwhile, Tiara is here beside me, with her eyes swollen and red. She’s sitting uncomfortably as if she wanted to say something, but she can’t.

She’s holding a pink letter.

“What’s that?”

“...I...Uh… It’s a confession letter… but it’s not mine. It’s from Necchan, back when you had your first death on her. She said that I should give it to you back then, but when her life was spared, we both completely forgot everything about it. I actually just remembered this… Ahahaha...” Tiara knocked her head.

“Can I see it? I mean, that’s supposed to be her confession to me, right?”

“...Are you sure?”

“Yes. I already knew that she loves me, so what will be new if I read her confession letter?”

“F-Fine…” Tiara said as she gently lent out the letter.

I never realized that this piece of paper would make me cry for a hundred more days.

>>

Dear Alaric Eisenhower.

The moment you’re reading this, I might be gone. Or maybe Tiara clumsily misplaced this piece of paper and you accidentally picked it up. It’s so weird writing this confession letter to the one whom you spent your childhood with.

You disgusting nerd who fancies cardboard girls… You’re the worst.

The first time I met you, was in third grade. At first, I thought of you as a good-for-nothing naive and four-eyed bullying-material, but the moment you talked to me, my perception of you was changed. You’re so kind and cute. You may not know it, but every time you speak to me, you’re stuttering while blushing.

I’m weird. And aristocratic. I have a garbage attitude. But you still talked to me, ignoring all those bad traits I have. You’re my very first friend.

And you are my first love.

I was in love with you the first time we met. I may have won if it’s a “Race who can fall in love the fastest!” My heart flutters whenever you talk. My soul feels joy whenever we had our lunch together. I could stay forever watching you babble anime nonsense even though I don’t care about any of those. I only care about you enjoying the moments we spent together.

I’m just good at hiding my feelings for you. I wanted you to confess first, if ever. But you’re not doing anything at all. So I thought of an evil idea.

I dated that jerk Kristoff so that you can feel jealous. All our lovey-dovey walks and talks, it’s all a sham! A prank! I was so evil that we both conspired to make you feel bad. Kristoff never loved me, but he wanted to date me. That’s all his purpose.

Remember when we had our prom back in junior high? You’re so adorable and handsome without your eyeglasses. I was glad that you no longer used that square frame. You look more like an idiot.

Remember when we became groupmates on our dance class? You’re so clumsy that you would accidentally touch some of my parts, but I just let it go. You’re unconsciously a pervert, you know!?

I cherish those memories with you. That’s why I decided to become a Gate Guardian myself in order to protect you.

I fell in love with you for the hundredth time when you confessed back in junior high. But I rejected you. I rejected you because I don’t want you to be in harm’s way. It was the greatest regret of my life, but I know I have to do it. I did it to keep you safe, away from the unstable life of being a Gate Guardian.

My plans backfired. The more I keep on acting that I don’t love you back, the more you stay away. That’s when I ran away. That’s when I realized my mistakes. As days go by without talking to you, our memories together haunt me.

I did my best to win you back. I know that you already met someone worthy of you, so I wanted to regain my position as your friend, at least. I wanted to pay for my sins.

When you became a Gate Guardian, my feelings for you grew stronger. I immediately regretted that rejection I made against you. I can’t take my eyes off you. You’re so heroic and smart, but also stubborn and full of evil schemes. I was worried that hatred would corrupt your heart, but I know I can trust you. I know you’ll win over your hatred.

Remember when I took a maul from you, and you carried me like a princess until we reached the hospital? I was fully awake at that time. I just want to savor the moment of being in your arms, so I pretended to be unconscious. Your biceps have grown, and it’s quite sexy!

Remember when I let you choose my cosplay back in the Anime Festival? I made a lot of study about that one. I asked your male friends about your fetishes so that I can seduce you. It looked like my plan worked!

You may just have realized, but I’m way more perverted than you think! I’m the Goddess of Sex after all… And it really feels bad that I never got my first time…

Anyway… I wanted to apologize.

I’m so sorry if I’m such a troublesome woman.

I’m sorry for being so rude to you.

I’m sorry for being such a stubborn bitch.

I’m sorry for lying to you.

And I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.

But I just want to let you know that my feelings for the past thirteen years never changed.

I love you.

I love you.

I always will love you.

I will cherish all those memories we have spent together. I wish you will remember those memories too, even though somebody has already won your heart.

I may perish, but I’m sure somebody else will appear and fill the gaps. I’m sure she will take care of you, so please take care of that person for me.

Thank you for everything, Ric.

Farewell.