PHASE 6 - WE WASTED A WHOLE CHAPTER FOOLING AROUND

“So… Do you have any ‘genius’ idea on how to look for Eliseo?” Rikkun asked.

“Of course I have!” Ayano exclaimed. “Look at this!”

My senior proudly presented a cartographic sketch of a… goat? No, it’s the face of a person! Considering that the drawing has long hair, I presume that it’s supposed to be the face of Eliseo. The eyes are misaligned, the nose looks upside-down, and the mouth looks like a reverse mustache. The only thing she got is the face outline which is oblong. It’s hard to interpret the sketch, but it’s definitely Eliseo!

“Are you sure you didn’t skip your kindergarten drawing class?” Rikkun smirked.

“How rude! This is the fruit of my efforts!” Ayano said. “Hey Tiara, what do you think of my drawing?”

“Uh…” I scratched my head, trying to formulate the words that wouldn’t hurt her feelings. I gave an innocent smile as I made the verdict. “...I’ll give you a passing score, Ayano Senpai~”

“What…” Rikkun’s jaws hanged. “Is your passing score one out of ten?”

“Ha! Shut up! You lose, Alaric! My cartographic sketch is the winner!” Ayano proudly said as she revealed a stockpile of papers that looked like copies of her drawing. “Now we distribute this paper and ask around!”

<>

We ended up distributing the papers to a nearby old-style bar that has a wild west vibe. Ayano is passionately asking the customers one by one if they saw the man that has the same face on her sketch, but no good.

Meanwhile, Rikkun and I took a break and settled down to rest for a couple of minutes.

I’m hungry...

I went to the counter and the bartender who is an old woman. For some reason, she has been glaring at me and examining every inch of my face.

“Hey there, young girl… I think your face looks familiar…” The old lady said.

We’ve met before! This grandma… She’s one of the leaders of the black cultists who abducted me and put me to the stake! I… I have to escape before she recognizes me!

Bam!

I failed to flee! Her heavy hand squeezed my arm! “Tell me… Who are you!?”

“I’m Ti-...” I stopped myself. I almost revealed my name! I have to come up with something quick! Wait… That menu board behind her may give me some ideas for a fake name.

“Ti… Tielsie… Burger...”

“That is a made-up name!” The old woman growled. “What is your real name!?”

“Eeeek!” I shrieked. I hurriedly looked at every direction. I have to make a better name! “I-I-I’m Aimer!!!”

“Aimer what!?”

“Aimer… Gencyexit!!!”

“That name sounds a lot like that sign over there!”

The old woman pointed at the sign Emergency Exit. She’s smart and terrifying! Her grip tightened as every second goes by!

“What is your real name!!!”

My eyes swung to the nearest wine bottle beside me. “M-M-Maria!!!”

“Maria what!?”

“M-Mariaclara Twelvepercentproof!!!”

The old lady’s nails sunk to my skin! “There’s a number in your name!?”

“I-I-I’m a rapper!!! L-Like 50 cents! Ahahahaha!”

Suddenly, the old lady stabbed a knife between my fingers! “Liar! You’re Tiara Hikari, the Brightmore Witch’s daughter! Your mother is the one responsible for my husband’s death in the other timeline!”

“Eeeeeeeek!!!” I cried!

I’m dead!

I was glad that my superhero arrived. He slapped the hand of the old lady away from me.

“Hey, you must be mistaken.” Rikkun coldly glared at the old bartender.

“You too! I remember you!” The old lady cried. “Who are you!?”

“I’m Deez…” Rikkun made a smug with his chin up.

“Deez what?”

“Deez Nuts!!!” Rikkun made a flying jab straight to the lady’s nose! Now the poor old woman won a bloodied face!

Rikkun grabbed my hand as we both run away from the establishment like a romantic couple in a cliched drama. There he goes again. Saving my life whenever I’m in a pinch.

I was flattered but we have to focus on running for now! The cultists who appeared to be watching us at the bar are now chasing us nonstop! They are equipped with knives, katanas, machetes, frying pans and voodoo dolls!

“Run! Never look back!” Rikkun shouted.

“H-Hey, why did you punch that old woman!?” I asked as I shift to ninja-sprinting mode.

“Why not?” Rikkun answered with a poker face. As I thought, he couldn’t care less.

“W-Wait, Ayano is still there!”

“She’s not being targeted! They’re only interested in toasting you! We have to hide first and regroup later!”

<>

Huff…puff…

We’re finally able to catch our breaths. It’s been five minutes since we lost the crazy people. We managed to hide in a vacant lot that has been the dumpsite of empty crates and humongous canal tubes.

It’s just Rikkun and me now. Just like when we came here the very first time.

“Great. Now we can’t ask around. Going to the town hall is not be a viable option since they’ll be eyeing us both.” Rikkun turned to me immediately. “Any ideas on how to find Eliseo?”

A dim light bulb flashed on my mind.

“I’m not as smart as my fellow shrine maidens, but I think I have a foolproof plan!” I pumped my fists. “I will do my best to raise the Kozukata Shrine Maiden’s banner and hold our honor up high! With determination, I will never give up!”

“...I… I kind of regret asking you…” Rikkun forced a laugh.

Just watch and learn, Rikkun! You will be impressed for sure!

<>

My perfect plan is this - I have set up a giant mousetrap at the center of the main road while we hide on a nearby bush. That mousetrap is capable of restraining humans. It’s not that special, but my bait is the real thing that would lure Eliseo out!

The bait- It is a triple three-pound pure-beef burger dripping with organic oil combined with lettuce, tomato, five layers of cheddar and mozzarella cheese, a swarm of crunchy bacon, mustard, mayo, onions, and mushrooms! The gigantic bun is showered with pistachio nut crumbs and sesame seeds!

Even I can’t resist this temptation!

If you guys are asking where did I get the burger… Well, don’t ask! Logic is just a word for us Kozukata Shrine Maidens!

“And here I thought you’re the only sane person among the three… Now I’m questioning myself why I confessed to you in the first place…” Rikkun mumbled.

“What?” I tilted my head. I heard him but the words didn’t register on my brain because I was drooling over my trap.

“Nothing.”

PLAK!!!

Suddenly, there was a loud single clap.

“I got him!” I celebrated.

“S-Seriously?!”

When we arrived on the scene, somebody was caught… but not Eliseo. It was Asumi-nee, who was tired and hungry! The burger is already on her mouth while her back is being pinned by the metal rod! Good thing that mousetrap didn’t break her spine!

“A-Asumi-nee!!!” I shrieked.

“I-I’m sorry, I got so hungry so I ruined your trap… Ehehehe... “ The childish-but-smart Asumi-nee laughed. Then she proceeded to chow.

“You should’ve put some poison in that burger, Tiara.” Rikkun made a cold comment.

<>

Ayano regrouped with us thereafter in that particular vacant lot, and we are now sobbing due to exhaustion. It’s been five hours, and we haven’t got any slight clue where our guy is. The night is coming. All the genius ideas of the Kozukata Shrine Maidens have failed, and probably, not even a god can give us a solution to find that Eliseo Fontaine.

We’re all silent.

But Rikkun is brave enough to break the atmosphere.

“Asumi. Ayano. Tiara. Can I propose a plan to you all?”

“S...Sure…” Asumi-nee answered with despair on her eyes. “I’m sure your plan will not work anyway.”

Rikkun ignored the comment and proceeded to show us his phone. He revealed a social media site with the picture of Eliseo Fontaine himself. He looks a lot womanly than what we saw in the picture Mrs. Noctis gave us. Long blonde hair, rosy cheeks, and blue eyes. It can’t be wrong.

“I searched ‘Eliseo Fontaine’ and saw only one result. And he has his address on his Facebook. Room 69 of the Brightmore Town Hotel. It’s quite weird that a person living in this highly ruralized town has a social media account, but this is my only lead. Maybe it’s worth a shot to visit… Of course, if you don’t want to listen to me, then very well. We already wasted a chapter by doing stupid things and fooling around.”

“That’s a great idea!” Ayano raised her fist jollily.

“You’re so dependable and smart, Rikkun!” I pumped my fist with pure joy.

“You’re a genius!” Asumi-nee’s energy immediately came back and her eyes are now sparkling! “You should have told us earlier!”

Rikkun just facepalmed himself.