《Serenity of the Crow》Ch. 16 I: The Letter
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My Dearest Indigo,
Firstly, an apology is warranted. I'm sure my sudden departure has left you with a wealth of anxieties and questions. Though I am sure you are feeling utterly overwhelmed, I have the absolute confidence that you will rise to the challenge.
I am sorry for having left without saying goodbye. I have never been very good at them, and I reasoned to myself that you did not need distractions going into your first council meeting. But the truth is that that is but an excuse and I am a coward. I always have been selfishly putting my own feelings before others, and for this I am truly sorry; I hope you can forgive me, for your sake.
As for my own sake, I likely do not deserve such forgiveness. One has ample opportunity to do both good and evil in a thousand years, and I am sorry to say that I have done plenty. You know me as Lady Aqua the Wise, your loving mother and supportive master. But that name carries a kindness that disguises my numerous sins; my jealousy, my rage, my greed and my selfishness. Perhaps it is hubris then that I have lived long enough to see what witchcraft has turned into; something sterilized, neutered and logical. I do not fault Cerise for what she did; though it broke the ancient code, she demonstrated that sometimes doing so was necessary. She could not have predicted that witching would turn out this way.
However, the institutionalization of witchcraft has led to new evils being created by those who seek its power, paid for by men who do not understand it. The world believes that witchcraft is simply another form of magic, to be cajoled and controlled at will. I have taught you that it is so much more, and I hope you can teach future students of the Academy the same.
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Time has shown my inability to adapt to modern witchery, but you; you are a child of the future, and I believe you will combine the past and the present in a way I cannot. As such, I feel compelled to take on a new role; one that I truly regret, but is still necessary. I must ensure that the evil created by the white witch is brought to an end, and to do so I have decided to commit a great evil myself.
Before the ancient code was created, by my master’s master’s master’s generation, the world of witchcraft was one filled with bloodshed and violence. Witches constantly fought with one another, creating abominations of creation to ruin their foes. Realizing that these actions would lead to their eventual destruction, the witches of old sealed away their creations in a vault deep beneath the earth and created the ancient code, swearing that witches would never steal from or harm other witches. We would keep the secret of our magicks hidden from outsiders so that it might never be used by the ignorant.
But that last rule was broken when Cerise was crowned Queen. And now, I have made the conscious decision to break the other two. By the time you read this, I will have harmed and stolen from Lady Snow Albus. Please do not come looking for me. I will deliver what I have stolen to the darkest place on earth; to the tomb of the one I loved, so that it might be sealed away for eternity. I do not know if I will survive the journey, but upon it I will repent on a life of good and evil, right and wrong.
I fear you will not see me again. I have become old and slow, and I see the world begin to turn without me, in a direction I do not like. Perhaps it is the fate of all witches to become grouchy and wicked in their old age and if so then this was inevitable.
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But I will not abandon you so quickly. I have left with this letter a journal; a journal that shares all I know about witchcraft, and magic in general. I was not able to teach you everything, so I will have to ask you to teach yourself. This journal contains spells, curses, potions and mysteries of a thousand years; it is incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. Be very, very careful.
My dearest daughter. Of my thousand year journey, know that you are my greatest pride and pleasure. Though it breaks my heart to leave you in this manner, it does not make the time we spent together any less valued.
Please, please, please do not look for me. I only hope you will remember me for who you knew me as, and not the woman who deserves her penance.
Your Loving Mother,
Aqua
PS. My old master insisted that any good witch must have a stuffed alligator. Something about impressing the locals… keep mine; you will put it to better use than I ever did.
Closing the letter Indigo bent forward, clutching it to her chest. She gasped for air as she tried to suppress fresh sobs, an unbelievable tension building within her that threatened to explode at any moment. Rust rubbed her back awkwardly.
“Let it out girl. Let it all out.”
Hearing her words, Indigo could no longer suppress herself and like a volcano erupted into tears. Gulping for air in between sobs, she collapsed into the witch’s lap beside her. Her thoughts dashed about as Rust clumsily comforted her, from her warmest memories of her mother to the difficulty of understanding her reality.
This… this can’t be right. This isn’t right! Surely you will come back...
What did you do…? What made you leave me like this!? I-I thought you cared about me...
No… no. I knew you as my mother, but I never realized how much more you are. How could I have such a narrow minded view of you. Is that why you didn’t take me with you? Why you told me nothing of your plans?
Why… why did I think out of your entire lifespan… I would be special? That I would be good enough, deserving enough to call you my mother?
You say such kind words to me while stabbing my heart… perhaps I let you down. I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I wasn’t good enough, and yet you’re still so kind when saying goodbye. Why are you still so kind to me?
Please don’t leave me...
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