Benny made his way into the bathroom.

Even for a bathroom in a boat it was quite fancy. They somehow managed to squeeze a small bathtub with a shower in here and still leave room to spare. There was tiny cabinet that had several bottles of bath soaps and salts. There was of course a toilet but it had one of those furry covers on it seat. Directly opposite that was a lavatory and cabinet.

Benny sat down on the toilet and clicked on his phone, scanning for his dad’s number. With a bated breath, Benny clicked the name and waited for the number pick up. It was a tense moment, listening to the dial tone until finally he heard it clicked on the other end.

“Hello? Dad…” Benny said with a stutter on to the receiver.

“Ah. Benjamin, excuse me for a second.”

He says to someone as he hears someone getting up from the table. He could hear Emmett’s voice along with Mom’s in the background. There was also the sound of some kind of violin playing and the sounds of plates scraping.

Benny did not need to ask where they are. It was clear they already went to the restaurant without him. It’s not like he hadn’t expected it. But he did feel rather left out by it.

“I see you’re awake now? Have you had a good long nap?”

Dad’s voice was calm and reserved as usual (when he’s not praising Benny’s siblings); however Benny could note the sound of slight sarcasm in it.

“Actually Dad…about that I-” Benny tries to explain but he is cut off at mid-sentence.

“Your friend Pablo told me already. It seems you were tired and you just dozed off.”

“Dad, I wasn’t taking a nap, you see I was…Dad, the truth was I was knocked unconscious…Ace lied to save face but…he wound up hitting me on the head…by accident…”

Okay, that sounded so lame. He was stammering like idiot.

A few moments of silence could be heard on the other line until Dad then spoke up.

“Well, Benjamin, you don’t sound too sure yourself so it makes me hard to believe it. Speak up with confidence just like your brother did last night!”

Of all the things, he had to bring up it had to be that.

Benny did not like to be reminded about what happened last night. And furthermore he couldn’t believe that his own dad didn’t take his word for it.

“Dad, please don’t remind me…It’s embarrassing…” Benny mumbled.

“Embarrassing? What’s there to be embarrassed about? What your brother said was true. You are allergic to peanuts.”

“But he didn’t…have to say…that embarrassing part…”

“Oh? You mean that old story about when you were ten and your allergy flared up when you rubbed peanut oil instead of lotion on your-”

“Dad…” Benny groaned in embarrassment.

Dad simply continued on as though it were some trivial matter.

“Well, like I said it is nothing to be embarrassed about. The human body is like that sometimes. Believe me I know and as a medical student your brother knows better. You should’ve paid attention and going back to our previous subject…you should’ve paid attention to our agenda for today.”

The way his dad was seeing this was totally unfair. It seems Dad didn’t even notice how embarrassed he was that Emmett even mentioned that. But no…if it was Emmett, Cathy, perhaps even Tom and Lilly he’d turn a blind eye! If it were him, Dad was quick to point out faults and made it vocal.

“Benjamin? Are you listening to a word I was saying?”

Benny stiffened and didn’t reply. It was a blessing that they were talking on phone and not in person. Otherwise, he would see how livid his Dad would be if he had not paid any attention…or probably see the defiant look in his face.

“As I was saying, we’ve waited for you until six but when you didn’t even call or sent a message, I called up your phone. Pablo told me that you were pretty worn out from the activities today. It seems you made a sandcastle? Given your lack of artistic talent I was surprised you actually went for it.”

Benny felt like someone had slapped him twice on one spot. That was a really low blow and a little too abrasive.

“I know you should have fun and I am quite pleased that you are mingling well with the fellow guests. But you should’ve kept in mind not to tire yourself out otherwise you wouldn’t be able to continue on with the rest of your of agenda. Take for example the dinner at Chez Lamont Emmett has kindly reserved for us!”

“Dad, I’m really so sorry I couldn’t make it…I…really wanted to come…”

“Well, nothing we can do about that, can we? We had to consider the facts.”

Consider the facts… It sounded like they were discussing a case.

“It is a long drive going to Mr. Perlasreyna’s beach house and back. We couldn’t cancel the table reservation and disappoint Emmett. After all, he had been planning this for weeks before arriving and he already paid for dinner. And it is nonrefundable, I’m afraid. So we had no choice but to go on ahead without you. Emmett was so disappointed that you and Abuela wouldn’t be joining us. I for one am severely disappointed in you.”

Benny knew this was to be expected but it did not stop him from feeling ashamed for this. But then Dad’s words began to return to him.

“Abuela?” repeats Benny, “What do you mean? She’s not going?”

“She decided to stay at home. She’s making dinner for you and herself.”

“Really?” says Benny in surprise, “I thought she’d come with you…”

“Abuela said she didn’t want you to go hungry. I told her that I was going to send you a message later that we went ahead and you can order a delivery. However, she was insistent. I believe she’s making lasagna.”

The thought of Abuela sacrificing to make his favorite meal for the two of them instead of going out to a fancy restaurant was really heartbreaking to Benny.

It was worse than bad…He messed everything up for everyone!

“Sorry Dad…I didn’t mean for this to happen… I was knocked unconscious…” Benny trembled.

Dad’s voice was anything other than sympathetic.

“If you are going to make some excuse you better save it for the one who deserves it. Emmett for instance, your brother made the effort for this and Chez Lamont isn’t just any restaurant you and your friends eat after school. I admit even I couldn’t possibly make a reservation. The least we could do is to make an effort to show that we appreciate his generosity. It is a rare opportunity and you wasted it. This is a good lesson for you to learn not to be so complacent and be aware. Otherwise you’d be bringing problems.”

“But Dad…it wasn’t my fault, I…” mumbles Benny in a small voice.

He could hear his dad sighed, and continued in a tired voice.

“Benjamin, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately. Ever since your brother and sister have arrived you’ve been out of it. I’ve noticed that your grades have been tilting on average. And I know from your teacher that you’ve fallen asleep in class.”

That part was a shock. He didn’t know Dad was keeping touch with his teachers. It was usually mom or Abuela who did that.

“But I was…I mean…it’s just…”

Benny tried to find an excuse but couldn’t. He couldn’t even stop the feelings of shame pouring out in torrents.

“You know, son, it’s that lack of effort and confidence on your part that’s really holding you back. And you’re not even trying! And what’s more, you don’t even try to get involve in family matters. And I’m not just talking about this dinner you missed. Look at your brother and sister! They made a lot of effort to get to where they are now and look what they have achieved. Yet they even try to get involve with family in any way they can. For once, try setting them as role model!”

All of a sudden, the initial shame began to have the resentment starting to build up. Why were his siblings always being held up at high esteem? Why were the rest of them so perfect in the family’s eyes while Benny was seen as the odd one out and full of failures?

Getting involved in the family…they don’t even notice him enough to see him try! It was so unfair.

“If you put a little more effort…then you can be like your siblings. Do you understand now, son? I know it’s harsh to hear this but you need to hear it.”

Benny did not say anything.

“Benjamin? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, Dad…I know.” Benny says quietly and another few moments of silence followed.

“Well, now that we’ve got that settled-” says Dad, sounding satisfied.

But this time Benny was the one who cut him off.

“Yeah, I’m pathetic compared to Emmett, Cathy, Tom and Lilly, right? I’m a failure…a loser…a total nothing…”

“Benjamin?” Dad’s voice sounds stunned for the first time. “What are you saying? That’s not what I meant at all!”

“Dad, you keep pointing out my failures and while praising everyone else…It’s no use to say that I’m just that…” Benny said quietly.

“That’s only to point out where your faults lie and what you need to do deal with!” says Dad’s voice, sounding rather exasperated.

As though Benny hadn’t gotten the point, but what was the point?

“If you put out a little more effort…”

Benny felt the string on his patience snap, “A little more effort? You never even notice anything about me but my failures!”

“Benjamin, that is not true! I do notice…”

“Yeah, for like a minute… at the most! Then you turn your attention to other things. If it’s not some bigger award someone else in the family got or some case you dealt with your clients!”

“Benjamin!” Dad says in a steely tone.

Normally this would cause Benny to stop but he continues his retorts in a very loud voice. Something that surprises not only himself but his Dad on the other line, but he continues on. “And why should I get involve with the family? They never notice me anyway!”

“So this is what it is then? Or are you trying to get noticed?”

“What?”

“Benjamin, this is not the right way to get noticed. It’s one step down from delinquent to a prison cell!”

Benny couldn’t believe he was hearing this. Dad was actually thinking he has criminal tendencies? Why was he treating his own son like a client in a courtroom session?

“If you don’t want to be that person then this is exactly why you need to-“

“Don’t say it, Dad!” Benny yelled in frustration. “Don’t say I have to put more effort and focus because that’s what I’ve been doing all this time! But it’s never enough is it?! Not enough to be in league with Emmett at the very least, huh?”

“Don’t raise your voice to your father, young man! Have I not taught you manners?”

But Benny was too heated too take notice. He wasn’t backing down, now that all of his resentment was going out it was hard to stop.

“Let’s face it, Dad! I’m never going to amount to anything and I’m just going to be the black sheep of the family! I’m just going to remain a disappointment while Emmett and the others…”

“Benjamin Luke D. Estrella that is enough!” says Dad’s voice.

He said it with finality. After a moment’s silence, he could hear sigh from the other end of the line, “This isn’t something we can discuss over phone. I will talk to you later when we get back home.”

“DON’T BOTHER!!! IT’S BEST IF I NEVER RETURNED!” Benny yelled at the phone.

He could hear Dad calling out his name but he wasn’t having it. He clicked of his phone and slumped on the floor with tears falling out of his eyes.