“Good night, everyone.” As the nurse leaves the ward, the lights shut off, indicating the passing of yet another long day. Contrasting to the bitter cold outside, the ward is warm, the patients snuggled deep inside their covers in comfort and peace. Well, except one.

Although he is also beneath the comfortable covers, Avalel is anything but asleep. Biding his time, he waits, the snores of the fellow patients stacking on each other in an epiphany of sound. At certain points, he could hear the mumbling of individuals, their arms outstretched, grasping at the air. I should consider myself lucky that my head isn't beyond repair.

Finally, the voices outside the ward die down, the only sounds being snores and the whirring of machinery. Hopefully it's time. Avalel peeks out of his covers. As expected.

Quietly, he scrambles out of his bed, not forgetting to buffer the covers. He reaches his hand into a compartment, slowly lifting the lid. Inside, the Anapadeia glows with anticipation, illuminating his face. Carefully, he slides the sword out, hiding it inside his robes, while his feet slip into a pair of warm boots, provided by Tarak. Grabbing a coat that Kavlina had left him earlier, he quickly wraps it around himself, concealing the white patient's gown within. Alright, let's go.

He takes a look outside the door. No one. Cautiously, he creaks open the door, taking a slight peek before stepping outside of the ward completely. He shuffles his boots, careful not to emit any sound. Silently making his way through the corridors and hallways, he finally reaches a dead end, decorated with a small window just above his head. Alright, here goes.

He pushes the window open, letting the freezing air in. With a slight jump, he latches onto the windowsill, pushing himself upward using his boots. As his hands contact the metal window frame, he could feel it going numb with cold. Still, he continues, crawling through the window, the metal and glass sliding across his coat. Finally, his whole body is outside, his feet just a short distance away from the ground below. I should be glad I’m on the first floor.

He releases his grip, falling onto the rough road. To call it a road is a slight overstatement. Compared to the highways outside the main entrance, this is no more than a back alley, although surprisingly clean for one.

He begins to walk out, melting into the crowd wearing his unattractive coat, the cold occasionally slipping inside and biting his skin. Why are there still so many people deep in the night? He doesn't know.

After walking for what seems like an eternity, he reaches an intersection. As the people turn left, where a major residential complex lies, he departs to the right, where the road quickly becomes a rocky ground and the true darkness reaches into his irises.

Finally, he comes across a tall wall with a rusted steel gate, marked “no entry”. Here, the air is still, as if awaiting for Avalel's arrival. He takes a few steps forward, and with a light push, opens the gate with little effort, its lock already broken for quite some time.

Inside is a great earthen enclosure, or cave, of sorts, the rocks being covered in dirt and dust. Scraps of metal can be seen lying around, partially absorbed and camouflaged by the environment. Compared to the prosperity of Thille just a few steps away, it feels as if Avalel has now gone to yet another different world. This just never ceases to amaze me.

He brings out the Anapadeia, the dim light like a torch in a mysterious cave. Well, I don't have much time. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes, as if to calm himself against a formidable opponent. Suddenly, he charges at a boulder, and begins to swing the Anapadeia rapidly, hitting it relentlessly against the strong stone. Crack, whap, pow! The sounds from the impact ricochet off the cave walls, ringing in his ears. Soon, the boulder is scarred with many marks, with pieces of it being reduced to mere rubble.

Time to deal it a final blow. Avalel jumps, thrusting the Anapadeia at the boulder as the sword starts to shine like the rays of the Elyfesta.

Boom! The rock shudders for a moment before it explodes. Rock fragments spray out in all directions like a hail of beams from a hundred rifles.

A flash. In rapid succession, Avalel cuts down nearly all the fragments with the boulder itself. All that remains is a pile of rubble and ash. “I can't believe that it actually worked,” Avalel mutters in excitement, gasping for air. After so much practice, I finally did it. Perhaps I don't have to rely on that spirit's power as much any more.

Just then, he hears a creak. Wheeling around, he finds a lone female figure leaning against the opened steel gate. Wearing a black scarf and a military coat, she is nearly entirely camouflaged into the gate itself.

“Oh, I've been found,” she says.

Kavlina?

“That was good, Lel,” Kavlina compliments, “To take the time each night to come to this abandoned expansion site and train yourself. How long have you been practicing? At least two weeks?”

“Wait, how…” She knew all this time?

“Well, I have been observing you for many days now,” she explains as she walks closer, “To see your perseverance and growth over time… It makes me feel so proud as your master.”

“Oh, not that again,” Avalel groans.

“Fine, fine. You don't have to call me Master as you foolishly did before,” Kavlina laughs.

“When did you become this talkative?”

“What?” Kavlina responds, slightly taken aback.

“It's nothing. Anyways, when did you realize I had been slipping out of the hospital every night?”

“Oh, I just noticed one day that your boots were dirtier than they should be, so I decided to stay up late one night to see what you were doing, and here I am. Well, that was a few weeks ago already, about a week or two after you regained consciousness.”

She definitely has become more talkative. “Since you're here, why not we spar here? It's been a while since we did this.” Actually, the last time we sparred with each other was during that day… It feels like forever ago.

“How are you so sure I have weapons with me right now?”

“You have a knife in each pocket, don't you?” Avalel asks.

“So you noticed,” Kavlina chuckles sheepishly as her hands reach for her knives, “Well, prepare yourself.”

She takes off her coat, revealing a beige form-fitting military tunic, decorated by a single badge. “Aren't you going to take off that clumsy coat of yours?” she asks.

“Well, I've been wearing this for training every night, so I am more or less used to it already.” His left foot steps forward, his arms holding the Anapadeia just in front of himself.

“Here comes,” Kavlina says quickly before charging in, a knife in each hand.

Clang! The two weapons make contact, Kavlina's knives just short of reaching Avalel's neck.

“Aiming for the vitals already, eh?” Avalel grins in excitement.

“Your reflexes have improved, Lel,” Kavlina smiles in satisfaction.

They exchange blows, the blades like a storm surrounding them. Sparks fly, their bodies locked in a dance of blades. Dust flies up from the movement of their feet, fogging their view.

Kavlina dashes around Avalel, thrusting her knives several times rapidly before moving to another spot. However, Avalel defends strongly, dodging and parrying her blows.

I need an opening, Kavlina thinks, deliberately slowing down her strikes. Just lure him gradually...

A sudden swing. Kavlina ducks, several strands of her hair sliced off by the Anapadeia. “You're open,” she warns, kicking Avalel's shin. Suddenly losing balance, Avalel tumbles backwards, the Anapadeia flying out of his hands.

“You lost again,” Kavlina smiles, a knife pointed at Avalel's throat.

“And I thought with my extra training, I can finally overtake you in terms of skill,” Avalel sighs, his legs shaking as he stands, “I guess I still haven't fully recovered from then.”

“Let's find a good place to sit and rest for now, Lel,” Kavlina suggests, pulling Avalel up.

“How about there?” Avalel asks, pointing at a relatively flat stone platform near the cave walls.

“Sure.” After a brief walk, they carefully sit on the platform, shivering from the contact with the cold stone.

“I can't believe it's already been over three months since we arrived in Thille,” Kavlina casually remarks, “Time sure goes by fast.”

“Three months since we left the village,” Avalel adds, “... And three months since Dad died.” It's already been that long.

“We experienced quite a lot,” Kavlina sighs, staring into the dark space, “Meeting Tarak and the other cadets, having Ms. Ipela as a generous benefactor, Hayeviel being a rather strange supervisor…”

“Hayeviel seems to have changed though. He's not as cheerful as before.”

“At least he no longer inflicts direct punishment on his cadets. At least that's what Tarak told me. I haven't seen him in a while already.”

“Aren't you still a cadet?” Avalel asks, surprised.

“They ended the training early, apparently because of manpower shortages. I'm supposed to leave with my squad tomorrow, actually.”

“Where to?”

“Somewhere to the west... We're likely fighting those soldiers again.”

The memories suddenly flood back into Avalel's mind, drowning him in the reliving of the pain. No, Dad, no... The bloodied face of Faresoenn. The lifeless piles of soldiers.

“Lel?”

The battered body of Noriel. The pierced palm of Kavlina. The beheaded corpse of Teritav. The monstrous hands of Avalel, holding the Anapadeia. He pushes the Anapadeia away with his trembling hands.

“Them. They killed Dad. They killed hundreds of soldiers, including Noriel, Baria, and Taravi. They tried to kill me and you.”

“Lel, are you alright?”

“Yet I am afraid to even face them. Not because I'm not strong enough, but because I am…”

“Lel, calm down.” It's as if he's in his own isolated world.

“I can't let them take over my consciousness. I must train to become stronger. I must, or I'll lose control again…”

“Lel, wake up!” Kavlina slaps Avalel's head, and he jolts up, staring blankly at her for a moment before color returns to his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” he apologizes, “I haven't fully recovered yet.”

“It's alright.”

“I just don't want to hear anything about war right now. It just reminds me of all of those memories…”

“Seeing yourself ruthlessly kill others hurts, doesn't it? Even if they are enemies?”

“I wield too much power for my weak self to handle. The two times I gave in and lost consciousness, I became a monster, killing people as if they were pebbles to be kicked.”

“Is this why you're training every night? To prevent using such powers again?”

“I don't want to have a third time. I was lucky I killed only one person the second time, but my brutality, that expression on my face... If only I had died back in the forest, then perhaps…”

“Lel, don't say any more,” Kavlina sharply interrupts, “You have a good heart. That's why you could see your faults. If I was the one with the Anapadeia, I would've become that monster you dread so much already. To be frank, I think you would make a great addition to our squad.”

“I'm too dangerous, Kavlina,” Avalel replies softly, his voice quivering, “I'm afraid I might just turn into a ruthless killer with the power I hold. I'm afraid I might end up killing many innocents and enemies alike when I lose control. I'm just… scared, Kavlina. Scared of making more mistakes. Scared that I'll lose control again. Scared that I'll end up alone, regretting the many wrong decisions I made.”

Kavlina suddenly reaches a hand to Avalel's shoulder, firmly grabbing onto it as he winces. “Don't overthink it, Lel,” she reassures, her grey eyes gazing at the downed expression of Avalel, “You've got me, Tarak, and the others as well, remember? Have you forgotten your friends?”

The initial sight of a cold girl. The meals of boiled graya. The daily sparring and training outside of Kavlina's hut. The simple act of sitting next to Kavlina's mother's grave, watching as the sky dims and the Elyfesta disappearing into the forest. How could I have possibly forgotten that?

“Kavlina…” Avalel cries, “Thank you!” He opens his arms before wrapping them tightly around Kavlina, his head resting on her shoulder as tears soak her clothing. They stay in this position for many moments, as if their bodies are frozen from the cold. Even as the tears slowly subside, Avalel continues to hug Kavlina, his body refusing to budge.

“What was that for?” Kavlina asks finally.

“Thank you for being by my side all this time,” Avalel whispers as he hiccups, “I'm sorry if that hug bothered you.”

“Well, I don't mind if you stay like this for a bit longer.”

“You said it,” Avalel makes a muffled laugh, “You smell a little, though. Like Dad.”

“Are you sure that's not you?”

They both laugh.

“Mind if I ruffle your hair, Lel?” Kavlina asks.

“Sure. It's messy from earlier anyway.”

His hair is surprisingly soft, Kavlina thinks as her left hand rubs Avalel's head, the short strands of light brown hair brushing against her fingertips. If only this little peaceful moment can last forever, when neither of us are forced to draw our blades and kill…

“Kavlina?” Avalel attempts to release his head from her shoulder, but instead feels something heavy resting on his own shoulder. Looking to the left, he finds the head of Kavlina, her hair partially covering her face as she snores quietly, her hand still resting on Avalel's head. Oh, she's asleep already.

Dad, it's been a while since I talked to you, he thinks, his eyes staring at the resting Anapadeia a short distance away, Much has happened since that night in the village. I'm sorry that I can't visit you yet as I'm still far away, but don't worry, me and Kavlina are safe. We're both in our host nation's military now, although I think I'm still just a cadet. There's a cheerful friend called Tarak whom we're particularly close to, and I think you might like him too. There are also others, but I'm not as familiar with them, with only Noriel and Baria I know a bit more about. Oh, wait, they're dead, aren't they?

He clutches Kavlina tighter, like a frightened child to his mother. I'm glad you're still here, Kavlina. I wouldn't have known what to tell Dad if you had died.

I must train further, he thinks, staring at the sword with determination. Only then can I prevent myself from repeating what I've done. Dad, if you can hear me, please guide me to control the sword, not the sword to me. I want to protect, not to harm. I don't want to turn into a monster any more… Just please, help me.