Ever since I decided to limit my contact with my ‘family members’ I felt a bit more at ease with myself. I don’t know why but it felt like a weight was off my shoulders and Sybil told me my eyes looked brighter and that “You look even more beautiful, Lady Aurelia!”.

I decided to ignore what he said and focus on my studies. My tutor, whose name that I finally learned was Hale, told me that I was going to start working on lessons that are for people who are older than me because I was progressing rather fast in my lessons.

I felt an odd sense of pride as I thought about Colton's angry expression once he learned this. As long as he keeps being angry with being behind me then I feel like I am doing pretty well in my studies but I can be doing even better. I have to get past my ‘brother’ in his studies then I will feel like I am actually at the top.

But something that has been bothering me lately was the letters I started to exchange with Isaias reluctantly seeing as me just ignoring it wouldn’t stop him from bothering me. The letter looked polite on the surface but I could see hidden messages between the words on the paper. He was making sure I wouldn’t say anything about his hidden personality.

Even though I haven’t seen his said hidden personality he still felt the need to keep track of me. He was such an annoying person and I really shouldn’t have let my emotions get control of me at that moment. Now I really have a bunch of annoying people in my space and they simply won’t go away.

I was reading another letter from Isaias and felt a headache appearing as I looked at his false polite words. I was just going to use one of the premade letters I have laying around to send to him again. It seems like he didn’t notice yet but I knew he would realize sooner or later that I am just sending letters I just prewritten to him.

After I handled that I went exploring in my house. I haven’t really seen everything in this house which is surprising. Well, the original Aurelia didn’t either so I guess this will be a new experience for me. It was getting rather draining if I only focused on studying and improving my magic.

As I was exploring the house I heard a weird sound coming from an empty hallway I was currently in. I didn’t see anyone around me but I kept hearing that weird sound again. I look around and notice that a wall in the hallway looked rather weird.

I approached it slowly and pushed against the uneven wall. When I did that the wall opened right away and I immediately coughed at the dusty air that escaped from the wall. After the dust slowly settles I look into the dark space of a hidden room I just found.

I couldn’t see well into the room so I decided to use a new spell that appeared in my book. This spell was tenebris oculi (dark eyes) which allowed me to be able to see into dark areas as if it was filled with light. I slowly entered the room and looked around.

It looked to be a room that wasn’t used in many years from the dust that are covering everything in this room. I realize that I didn’t know if my ‘father’ bought this house of mine or gave it to me because it used to belong to someone else who didn’t need it anymore.

As I was looking around this hidden room I saw something that was covered by a huge sheet that was on the center of the wall. I was curious and I went to pull on the sheet. The sheet came off rather easily and with it came another cloud of dust.

I was coughing pretty badly as I waited for the dust to settle down. When I was sure the dust was gone I opened my eyes that I didn’t realize was close. Blinking my watery eyes I looked at what the sheet was covering and I felt my heartbeat increase.

I saw a woman with messy dark curly hair that was in a messy ponytail. She was wearing a red dress shirt with a lacy skirt that had stockings under the said skirt. The sleeves of her dress shirt were rolled up to her elbows showing off the muscles she had. She had on short boots with heels and a few buttons of her dress shirt were open.

I didn’t know why but I felt like I knew this woman. She had such a fierce smirk on her face that made her brown eyes look bright in the painting. I could see a couple of freckles on her dark skin that just added to her charm.

As I was in a daze from looking at this fierce woman I noticed something else in front of her painting. It was a fancy looking box that had a twist on the side of it. I felt nervous as I approached the painting of this familiar woman. As soon as I picked up the box it opened right away in my hands and a voice came out of the box.

“Is this thing working…? Ah! It is! Okay, now what should I say? Ahh…. I am so nervous but I am the one who wanted to do this. Aurelia, my precious daughter, I am so excited for you to come into this world. There is so much I want to tell you but I don’t know where to start…” I heard a gentle woman's voice coming from this box and I just knew this woman was the one from the painting… She was my mother…

“I am so nervous about you coming into this world but I guess this is normal for most mothers since I felt the same way about your older brother! But I swear I am worried for a positive reason since I just want the best for you. Ahh… I don’t know if I will be good at raising a daughter since I have no idea how to do that. I mean my father raised me like a son after all. But I will try my best!” I could picture my mother holding a fist up with a serious expression on her face and I let out a dry chuckle at this thought.

“Aurelia I want you to know this… I love you so much. I can’t tell you how much I care about you. I don’t know why I am saying this but I just want you to know this. I mean I will always be telling you this when you are born but I just want to tell you this now. Oh! I want you to hear this song. I just remember my mother used to sing to me whenever I had trouble sleeping. Please excuse my bad singing. I am more of a fighter than a singer.” My mother cleared her throat and started to sing, well it was her singing some words and humming other words. Even though it wasn’t a perfect song I couldn’t help but let out tears as I heard this.

This woman wasn’t my mother but I can feel how much she loved Aurelia… She loves her and I wonder if she would have loved me also? How could someone like this woman end up with such a cold man like my ‘father’.

So this is what love from a parent feels like… It is so warm and painful… I want to keep these feelings for a bit longer. Ahh… Why am I so jealous of Aurelia… She had a mother who loved her this much but my own family gave me up…

This pain in my chest won’t go away…. I continue to stand in the dusty room and listen to my mother sing/hum from this box until it went quiet. Even when the box stopped making noise I didn’t bother to move.

It was a confusing feeling… My heart felt warm but it felt like a hole was appearing in my heart. But this box in my hands felt so warm to me and I didn’t want to let it go. I wonder if it is okay to accept the love of a woman when I am not even her child… Can I be selfish for once?

I finally decided to leave the hidden room I was in and close the door so that the room was hidden again. This can be my own special place that no one else can know about. I still had the box in my hands but I knew I had to put this away in a place where only I knew. I just wanted to keep the love that was coming from this box to myself and me alone.

I just want this so bad….

Later on in my room, as Mae was getting me ready for bed I decided to ask her about my mother since I had a feeling she knew more than she was telling me.

“Mae, what was my mother like?” As soon as I asked her that Mae stopped pulling my blanket up and looked at me with a frown on her face. I knew it wasn’t a frown at my question but about something else.

“...She was a really outspoken woman who could befriend anyone with her wonderful personality. I mean she tends to be so hard-headed but… You couldn’t help but get drawn to her and want to become someone important in her eyes. You remind me of her…” Mae's eyes looked a bit watery as she spoke about my mother.

“...Were you close to her?” The way Mae spoke about her made it seem like she was really close to her. I wonder if she dislikes me as well for taking her away…

“She made me realize I shouldn’t let people who aren’t me control my life and if I really want something I should go for it.” Mae sat down on my bed and play with her ring on her left hand with a faraway look in her eyes.

“Do you dislike me for taking her away?” I didn’t know why I asked her this but Mae's opinion mattered the most to me… She was like a mother I wish I had growing up...

“How could I ever hate you? She loved you so much and I am sure she is so sad that she isn’t here by yourself… She was looking forward to you. She wanted to teach you how to fight! What a weird woman she was. She only knew how to use her fist to get her feelings across to other people but there were moments where she did know how to talk to people…” Mae looked lonely as she talked about my mother but she also looked so happy as well.

“What was my mother's name?” I really wanted to know the name of that beautiful woman from the painting. The one who made Mae show such emotions. The one who made my ‘father’ hate me so much.

“Gia… She never did tell anyone her last name. Always said she didn’t find it important to talk about her past or where she was from. She may have been dealing with something back home since she always looked so lonely whenever she talked about where she came from.” I wonder what her life was like back home? Did she get along with her parents or was the relationship as tense as mine is with this ‘family’ of mine?

“Why are you asking about your mother? Did… Did something happen?” Mae was looking at me with concerned eyes and I could only let out a low sigh.

“I just wanted to learn more about her since my father never bothers to tell me anything about her or show me any photos of her…” I wasn’t lying as I said this. The original Aurelia never saw any photos of her mother or heard anything about her. All she knew was that she died because she was born.

“I have some photos of her at my home. I give you them if you really want to have a photo of your mother close to you.” Mae patted my head gently as she told me this.

“...I love you, Mae… Thank you for always being at my side…” I rolled over to my side and tightly closed my eyes. It was quiet for a long time and after a few seconds, I could hear Mae sniffle for a second before she quickly excused herself.

I could feel that my ears were hot as I continued to keep my eyes closed. My heart was beating fast and I felt so nervous that I thought I was going to die.

But it was a nice feeling and I allowed a small smile to appear on my face as I finally went to sleep.

I dreamt of a woman with messy curly hair smiling as she sang a silly song to me. She had me resting my head on her lap as she drags her fingers through my hair. I felt so warm as I moved closer to my mother who let out a chuckle at how clingy I was acting with her. But she wasn't annoyed with my actions and I wasn't used to that...

Aah… This is what the love of a mother is like... So warm...