《I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes》13. The whole world caught COVID-19 and died
Advertisement
Twenty years later. . . nah fuck that, who even does timeskips anymore? That's so 2012 Wattpad. Anyway the author is back from a very short hiatus of only two months, so let's pretend you saved a game and forgot about it or something.
***
Three days later. . . (just kidding suckers, I timeskip like the Wattpad pro I am)
Andrew stood atop of the skyscraper looking over at the entire city of Dinosaurland. He had chosen to abandon Pink Anne; a risky endeavor that may very well result in the world turning into dust once again. But this time, it was different! Not only did he have his trusted Anti-Matter Gun, he also had a tight-ass spandex bodysuit and a BLOODY CAPE (literally written on the back of the cape). Everybody knew a superhero suit is the key difference between a superhero and a no-name commoner was the suit and a BLOODY CAPE (literally. . . [see above]), and Andrew could feel his power multiplying by the thousands just by putting them on. As soon as he mastered the art of wearing his boxer outside his pants, he shall become the invincible hero this world needs.
But of course, Pink Anne was not one to give up. The obvious solution was to hurl more outer space meteor towards Earth, and she did just that. Therefore, meteorites fell more and more, each time with a thicker density than the last. Every time such a disaster striked, townspeople shone a boxer-shaped light on the moon to warn the Antimatter. . . er. Then the hero shall descent from the shadow, shooting at the meteorites until they drop like flies. Then they would hail Antimatter. . . er as the ultimate savior once again. His name would be all over news channels, and children would start pasting his posters on the walls and dreams of wearing boxers outside their pants. The cycle would continue.
Advertisement
"So this is the path the Goddess has carved out for me," Andrew told himself. He was still the Chosen One.
Therefore, he needed to solve this meteorite bullshit once and for all! Andrew had too obvious solution: the first one was to hit the lottery 5138 times and fund the construction of the Skynet and the Anti-Meteor Satellite-Spaceship network, and the second one was to kill Pink Anne. After viligantly calculating the odds, Andrew decided to win the lottery 5138 times.
Under the codename Eron Mask, he founded SpaceXXX and started realizing his dream. Before long, his fleet of spaceships was assembled.
Andrew's space shuttles were equipped with giant antimatter guns that could swallow dozens of meteors with a single bullet. Gradually, he upgraded it to a space station the size of very big space station. Every day, hundreds of asteroids flew towards Earth, but none could even come close to testing his system's firepower.
Floating inside his space station, Andrew laughed so hard he started coughing. "Now nothing, nothing can destroy human civilization anymore!"
A day later, a great tsunami arose below the ocean, engulfing all of humanity.
"WHAT THE FUCK? SHE CAN DO THAT?" Andrew clasped his head in bewilderment.
A second later, he found himself in his shabby studio at the beginning of a loop again, so he knew damn well who caused the catastrophe. Only then did the Goddess show herself. She sat at the corner of the room with a gloomy look on her face.
"I've told you that there's only one way to save the world. Why do you keep defy me?" The Goddess sighed.
"Yeah and what is it?"
"You just have to live with Anne for the rest of your life."
"Fuck that! I'm building a wall surrounding all oceans!"
Advertisement
"You can't do that!"
"And how are you gonna stop me?" Andrew grunted. "You're disappearing in five minutes."
"I. . . I can't," she stutters and rubs her hands together. "But nothing you do will matter. Just listen to me, okay? I'll make an arrangement that's best for you."
"502890," Andrew says.
"W-what?"
"Oh look!" He points at the row of number flashing from the TV that's suddenly in his room because the author is too lazy to go back ten chapters to fix a minor continuity detail. "The lottery combination number! What a coincidence! Imma go cash out."
"Sure!" The Goddess spat. "Do what you want. You're gonna come back here eventually."
"We'll see about that."
Andrew hit the lottery a million times then built ten-kilometer high walls along the coast of every continents. He called them the Highmalayas.
Then earthquakes erupted all over the world, the walls collapsed and crushed the fuck out of Andrew.
In the next loop, Andrew invented the 'virtual gravity' technology, elevating every city until they float above the atmosphere where the tsunamis wouldn't reach. His space stations guarded the sky and his cities evaded the earth. There was nothing nobody could ever do to sabotage.
Suddenly, the whole world caught COVID-19 and died.
"No, no, no!" Andrew screamed while on his deathbed for the sixty-ninth time. "Why? Why? Why? Why can't I get away from this nightmare?"
He was pushed to a dead end. There was one thing left to do.
Kill Anne.
Advertisement
- In Serial92 Chapters
I love this world (Complete)
A man gets thrown into an alternate world after what was supposed to a harrowing escape from death. Follow him as he uses his knowledge from his previous life of research to adapt and survive in a place that is void of human contact, only to find out later how absurdly ridiculous his abilities are. Journey alongside this man as he attempts to change the new world for a better place, to turn it into one that he loves. PS, it will follow the reincarnation template very closely in the beginning (what do u expect? this is RRL), but will deviate from it as the story progress Warning: Crude language
8 103 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Last Blade of Ful
Beaten down and brought low into ruin. Wreathed in a miasma of death and marched upon by a demonic incursion. This is the kingdom of Ful’lal’tul. There is not much left there now unless you count the few haunted survivors. A lone knight comes to realize this when he awakens from his place on a tower. With little other choice other than to sit down and rot away, the knight sets off in search of answers.
8 240 - In Serial14 Chapters
A Hand In Darkness
Synopsis Blood rains from the sky as Heaven and Hell fight like they’ve fought for millenia, a war hidden from mortal eyes. But now the questions are : What will our girl do as she is caught in between? Will she make a difference? Or survive? How would she even live a normal life, going to school now that she sees all the Demons that roam freely around us? Author Note : This is the second fiction I'll post here and, like the first one, it's a try to better myself in english and in overall storytelling. I don't know how much I'll release, how many word there will be or how long it will go on. Don't hesitate to talk to me in the comments or in PM, and I hope you'll like it ^-^ Warning : May contain : Explicit sexuality, gore, shocking matters, torture and the worst things you can imagine (may, not will. I let space for me to breath when I write ^-^) Cover :John Martin, Pandemonium (1841)
8 72 - In Serial12 Chapters
New Game +
Life has many challenges for Drew (AKA ScoreStreak), but with a shit-eating grin on his face, he aims to get the highest score possible. Arcadey Litrpg. SuperPowers. Multiple Earths. Using some older ideas from mostly abandoned stories and some fun troups I give you this Frankenstein of a Story.
8 136 - In Serial13 Chapters
A Lost Man
------------------------May Contain Mature Content Viewers be Advised-------------------------------------A man comes home to his loving wife and children to find a unwelcome surprise. Leading him into a tale of woe and heroic deeds in Shattered Memory . Come and Read as our protagonist has to cope with his out side life and the insuring chaos!
8 296 - In Serial12 Chapters
Vice Captain of Straw Hat Pirates
In the world of pirates, a young man reincarnates into a completely ordinary person's body. But coincidentally, he encounters Monkey D. Luffy. Hungry for adventures but also scared of death, he joins the Straw Hat Pirates as the vice-captain. ............ Straw Hats will follow the same routes with a lot of new changes.
8 138

