《I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes》14. Maybe if I mess his life up enough he'll like me
Advertisement
In this time loop cycle, Andrew replied to Pink Anne's message and just let everything unfold. Being enslaved by Anne, meeting Joddy Ferdinand, escaping to Canada, getting captured again. . . everything went according to the last time it happened. However, he wasn't going to let himself suffer by his ex for the sake of the world, at least not for forever. During his stay at Anne's resident, he mentally mapped out all entrance and exit points, every single sex toy Anne used and which one of those can cause lethal damage, and what types of cutlery he could use as murder weapons.
The execution must be splendid. Pink Anne was perhaps the most powerful person on Earth, and one slight mistake might cause Andrew his 108th life. Therefore, he didn't plan just one, but five different killing method that would go off in the same day. He filled Anne's room with low concentration of toxic gas; planted a chip bomb in her most often-used sex toy; poisoned her dinner; and smuggled in an army Swiss knife. If he needed to kill Anne ten times, he would do it.
That day, Anne didn't come back home until late. Andrew paced around the entrance, stopping once in a while to stop himself from sweating and shivering. When the gate to Anne's mansion creaked, he had to bit his lips to keep himself from jolting.
Anne walked past the gate with a half-affectionate, half-maddening smile on her face. "Awww." She clutched her chest. "How romantic of my sweet little Andrew, coming to the gate just to greet me. How come you're suddenly so gallant today?"
"Ah, ha, ha. You know me. The sweet, romantic, do-everything-for-you-and-never-run-away-from-the-cage Andrew."
However, Anne's smile soon turned into a fiery scowl, and her eyes burned with rage and hatred. The sky hollered with thunder and the gust shooked the trees.
Advertisement
Andrew had been found out. He had to think of something. Fast.
I'll lure her into the toxic gas chamber, thought Andrew. Once she's weakened, she'll recuperate by masturbating, and the sex toy will explode. That should level the playing field. I'll wait that exact minute to jump in and destroy her with my Antimatter Gun.
"Do you think I'm a bloody fool? What are you plotting, you—"
Suddenly, Andrew realized there was conveniently a banana peel right in front of Pink Anne.
"Don't watch out!" He screamed, but it was too late.
Anne slipped on the banana peel and fell, hitting her head on the floor. Life retreated from her half-closed eyes, and her mouth gaped open.
"Anne? Are you okay?" Andrew asked, but there's no reply. Maybe. . .
Is she dead?
Andrew ran over and checked her pulse and breathing. There wasn't any.
"She's really dead," he murmured in disbelief. "She's dead. She's dead. She's dead."
Turned out, it was really that easy. He should've done this a hundred loops ago.
Andrew destroyed Anne's body with an antimatter gun, cleaned up the crime scene, then bought some Bizcoins at the price of $2 per coin. A day later, Bizcoin grew to $2 million and he exchanged them for a one-way plane ticket to the safest country on Earth: North Korea, where he could stay away from all danger.
Andrew was stopped at the North Korean airport by authorities. The guards told him, "No foreigner could enter this country without permission."
Knowing the local customs, Andrew approached the guard and whispered into his ears while sneaking a few dollars into his shirt pocket. "I've received permission from this guy Benjamin Franklin in this note."
"Sir. . . I am an upright citizen. I will never. . ."
"Have I mentioned Benjamin also has a twin?" He sneaked another bill into the guard's pocket.
Advertisement
"You are through."
With his friend Benjamin, Andrew climbed the social ladder and became a close friend of Surpreme Leader Kim Chi in less than a year. He was rewarded with a beach-front villa and a beautiful coastline all for himself.
Lying on the serene beach, he sighed in relief. "This are finally alright," he assured himself. "I've finally saved the world."
Of course, when Andrew stated that things were alright, it was a clear sign that he was about to get fucked over. It was a common trope by now.
All of a sudden, an armed army of more than a billion people raided the coast. They surrounded Andrew and pointed guns against his face. "Hands in the air, now!" They shouted.
"Who are you people?"
One of them replied. "We are the police, the justice enforcers! You have been arrested for murder, all your testimony can and will be used against you!"
"Justice? This is North Korea. There's no justice!" Andrew shouted. However, those people didn't give a damn.
"We'll take you to execution!" The head of the police team declared. "Follow us now!"
"W-wait! You have no evidence. You can't arrest people without evidence!"
A police officer walked forward and pushed an unloaded gun into Andrew's hand. "He has a gun!" the officer yelled. "He's 100% a murderer!"
"This is your gun!"
"Capture him!" The head shouted, and all men jumped at Andrew, pinning him on the ground.
"You can't arrest me!" Andrew said. "I'm a friend of Supreme Leader Kim Chi. I can make a public statement saying I've learned from my mistakes and will refrain from murdering, then you can let me go!"
The police officer shook his head then held a newspaper in front of him. "Yesterday, this country changed hands. Learn to read."
Andrew squinted at the paper and realized the face printed on it was somewhat familiar. Plump face, creamy white skin, and wavy crimson hair drooping to her chest.
"That's the fucking Goddess!"
"Enough!" The policeman shouted. "Bring him back for execution!"
"No. No. No! I'm not going back!"
A few days later, Andrew was executed. He woke up in his studio again, in another loop. The Goddess was already on his bedside.
Fuelled by rage, he jumped at her and screamed, "It was you all along! I knew it! You were conspiring this against me! You only exist to make me miserable! I'll kill you; I'll fucking kill you!"
The Goddess let him push her to the floor without protestt. Andrew assaults her with a barrage of words, but she just lowered her eyes in resignation.
Then, tears started to form from the corner of her eyes.
Andrew growled, "Are you playing victim now? Why the hell are you crying, you donkey-ass?"
Her reply was barely audible. "I just want you to love me. Is that too much to ask?"
"What?"
Advertisement
- In Serial188 Chapters
Combat Maid Harem
I turned my assassin into my maid with the power of money! Money is all-powerful!
8 169 - In Serial84 Chapters
Record of Naruto Verse
On the verge of death, he activated a certain scroll that he couldn't decipher even researching in many ways. The name of that scroll is [Record of Naruto Verse]. By using his new gain power his ambition is to revive his destroyed sect and loved ones, and achieve the acknowledgment as the strongest person in the world, his journey began. [Author Note:] 1] Yep, this story will be fast pace story. So an early warning for that. 2] I have no future plot-plan 3] There will be many plot hole like original :p . 4] It might not be a good story, I just started writing to spend my time and so post here to help you to spend your time. 5] And enjoy. *** Remember, I also post this fanfiction on RoyalRoadl.com by the name of LordNoname. I also wrote the same thing there.
8 640 - In Serial7 Chapters
Game Master - Unlocked (Terror Infinity) (Old Version)
Taking some inspiration from the guy who made Terror Infinite - Side B. Jin can't remember how he arrived, playing a twisted game for who knows why. All he knows is he needs to survive. A place where the, 'Game Masters', decides the fate all those who arrive. Would you Kindly, ________________? Yes/No?
8 220 - In Serial6 Chapters
The Twin Lands
Join our heroine Enru on her journey in a world where humanity lives in perpetual light and warm while their enemies, the spider beings called Araxin, live in perpetual darkness and cold. Just because they live in the darkness and cold though doesn’t mean the Araxin want to stay there forever however, and this time their bid for the Southern half of the continent looks to be shaping up worse for humanity than ever before. Every ten years the planet nears its second sun in such a way that the Northern half of the continent warms and thaws and the Araxin enter a period of explosive growth, before always attempting to assault the humans in the South. Through events that you will need to read and discover yourself, sixteen year old Enru ends up vital to the survival of humanity, but can she succeed? In a world full of humans, dragons, giant intelligent spiders, trogs, behemoths lurking in the deep, magic, politics (can’t forget the politics) and more, what wonders await you? NOTE: This is my very first attempt at writing ever. Not just my first attempt I am showing people or my first attempt that went anywhere, but my first of any kind. I welcome constructive critisism and I know my grammar is not always the best. If something is majorly bothering you please leave a good comment or review on it rather than just a 0.5 rating and saying I suck. NOTE2: The main character will be gaining power that is, if used correctly, well above the standard for her race however I plan to implement it in such a way that she does not end up being crazy over powered and able to end every fight at her whim. She will struggle, she will lose sometimes and there will be loss along her journey to save her race. There will be no harem and I am unsure if there will be any sex scenes or even romance as this is my first story and I am not confident yet at being able to write that properly. So if you came here for the standard royalroad super OP guy that flies around having sex with every female character he meets, this is not that. Update Frequency: As this is my first story and I am still in the early stages, I cannot say how often updates will be. I lead a very busy life and this is a new way for me to relieve stress. I hope to be able to put out a few thousand words every few days at the least. Enjoy the story! PS. Cover was found on the website thedailybell.com, they did not source where they found it. I rotated and resized the image.
8 76 - In Serial18 Chapters
My Road To Glory
Hello potential readers, I hope you will enjoy this story. This story focus on Alicia Berg, a young woman with big ambitions of taking virtual reality by storm. The world has developed much, so much in fact it offers people a life of complacent leisure should they want it. This option is less than ideal for our protagonist who aspire to become a virtual reality football coach. Follow her journey through a brave new world fraught with strangeness to find the purpose she craves. Note: This is a slice of life/drama/comedy kind of story. Slow pace with an emphasis on characters. Warning: Bad language (if you consider swearing bad because Alicia sure doesn’t).
8 809 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Bad Boy's Property
There is something more about rumors you would hear around. There must be more than anything anyone could hear because a secret is indeed a secret that no one must hear, no one must know. Everyone thought they know about something if they heard rumors about it, but there must be something to surprise them about the truth because no one could know a secret once it's called a secret. No one could know the truth of a secret unless it is not a secret anymore. ---- Hi. I already have patreon profile. Please support me there. You will get to read the advance update or chapter of TBBP. Thank you! Here's the link: patreon.com/briavry
8 189

