《I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes》15. There's no free will, but you can get a paid will DLC for ONLY $34.99
Advertisement
"So you're saying. . . this world is fake?" Andrew asked, face elongated like a donkey after hearing what must have been the craziest story any had ever told this entire loop.
"Fake is a bit harsh a word. I'd prefer simulated," the Goddess replied with a sigh.
According to her account, all the strange events in this world happened because Andrew's three-dimensional world was in fact a simulation inside another four-dimensional world. The 'Goddess' (if she could be called a Goddess at all) was just somebody from the four-dimensional plane who purchased this world in a game as part of a garage sale and booted it up inside her computer to play.
"So I created this in-game character named Pink Anne, and I intended to just lead a normal life. I wanted to take my character to nice places, buy her nice clothes, get her a cute partner. . ."
"NORMAL MY ASS!" Andrew growled. "There's not a single thing normal about a woman with a sadistic kick and a collection of axes and sex toys and sex axes!"
"T-that's because I didn't get a DLC! I didn't want to do that to you!" Her lips formed a scowl. "The base version locked the configuration settings, so I can only randomize my character's personality!"
"What kinda trash game is that? You bought it from EA didn't you?" Andrew paced around the room in anger. "I knew it! I knew this world's strange the moment I took a peek at Anne's birth certificate and it said Ann3cut3XoXo."
"And not because a hundred loops?"
"No. Also, I'm not convinced. You said that this world is a simulation, right?"
"Right."
"So everybody's thoughts and action are programmed?"
"Yes."
"So I shouldn't have free will."
"Yes."
"Then why do I have free will?"
"Do I look like Aristotle?" She crossed her arms, tapping her feet on the ground. "I don't know! When I bought this game, they told me that I would be able to control and modify characters as I will! As long as I have a DLC, at least. But you. . . you're an anomaly. A bug inside a program. Your existence makes no sense. So I start noticing you. And it turned out that you are the most beautiful and smart person I've ever met. I wanted to get you at all cost."
Advertisement
"You could've just picked any other guy! You have the power! Why pick somebody who doesn't want you?"
"I don't want people who want me! I only want people who'll reject me time and time again. They get hotter each time I suffer. Oh. . . have you seen your face when you told me you despise me and everything I stood for?" Goddess shivered. "I was struck by the lightning of love right at that instance."
Andrew sat then stood dozens of time, trying to make sense of whatever bullocks the Goddess had just told him.
"Okay, let's put this unhealthy obsession with a game character aside. So if I leave this world, I'll also leave the loop, right?"
"Well, yeah. . ." The Goddess bites her lower lip. "There won't be anybody to load quick save anymore."
"So how do we get out of this game?"
"I don't have to get out. I'm not in this world in the first place; this is just the manifestation of myself in this game world."
"Okay, let me reword this. How do I get out of this game?"
Goddess ponders for a few seconds then said, "We have to find another person with a superpower to open a dimensional rift. I think there might be a few of them in this world."
"Sure. Let's randomly find a person who can move through space-time and all that stuff. . . Oh wait!"
Joddy Ferdinand suddenly came to Andrew's mind. He recalled how Jod single-handedly caught a missile shot from a launcher and hurled it back at Anne.
"I know exactly who we need to seek," Andrew told Goddess.
The Goddess stared at him, and his lips curved into a smile. The Goddess started slowly shaking her head. "No," she whispered.
"Yes."
"We're not doing this."
"We're doing this. We're summoning Joddy Ferdinand."
"Do you even know where he is right now? He's been gone for several chapters already, God knows where—"
Andrew snapped his fingers, and Jod appeared a second later, sitting on a couch bare-chested, with a newspaper on his one hand and a half-eaten steak on his other hand. "Woah!" he cried, "How did I get here? I was in my own place minding my own business."
Advertisement
"I teleported you here."
"How did you do that? How did you get this huge-ass couch through as well?"
"Plot. The question is why are you eating a steak with your hand?"
"I was hungry, okay? After you've spent so much time in Canada, you'd crave for real food too! Now why the hell did you summon me? You ditched me for your new-found girlfriend, didn't ya?"
"I'm not his girlfriend!" Goddess protested. "Yet. . ."
"Anyway," Andrew said. "I need you for something, Joddy."
"Spill it."
Andrew explained his situation, careful not to leave out any detail. Finally, he asked, "Can you open the gate to another dimension?"
"Oh, good question. Why don't you ask me if I can turn the entire universe into a massive penis, destroy time and space as we know it, trip on a LEGGO without hurting my leg, and other impossible stuff?" Joddy gnawed his steak angrily.
"So what can you do?"
"I can transmit my voice from the sky and repel rockets."
Andrew sighed, "They're all cool, but not space-warping kind of cool. Do you have anything that can actually come handy?"
"You're asking for too much, buddy. I'm a Jod, not a God." Suddenly, Joddy's face brightened. "Hold on. I do have this one ability. It's very niche, but it might justttttt be what you need."
"Really? Show me."
"Okay, okay. You have a bowl?" Joddy pointed to an empty bowl on Andrew's desk. "That one would do. Take that one."
Andrew picked it up. "Yeah. Then what?"
"Throw it over."
"This is ceramic. It's gonna break. This thing costs me $10, you know."
"Just throw it over."
"Fine."
Andrew threw the bowl at Joddy. The bowl suddenly disappeared mid-air, as with Joddy. But only for a milisecond. Then Joddy appeared again on the couch, the same position as before, with a bowl on his hand.
Andrew's mouth was half-open. "How did you do that?"
"Throw me another bowl. That plastic bowl over there."
He did as told, and the same thing happened. Joddy disappeared for a milisecond, then the bowl vanished mid-air and magically appeared on his hand.
That's crazy, thought Andrew. This guy had to have torn the fabric of space and time! Even if he could only influence smalle objects, he would surely become handy.
"Your superpower is. . ." Andrew paused for a while.
Then, both he and Joddy exclaimed at the same time, "Space warp!"—"Grabbing bowls really quickly."
"Wait, what?" Andrew asked.
"I grab bowls really quickly," Joddy answered, not a single hint of humor in his face.
"So, you can grab things really quickly? I guess that's still useful for when like you really need to fetch a weapon. . ."
"Ah, no. Just bowls."
"So you can only grab bowls quickly?"
"No, no. Not just that. Anything bowl-shaped would do, too. Like a very big bowl. You can even throw a wooden bowl, or even a metal bowl."
"What? That ability is garbage."
"Garbage? Wow, wow, wow, wow. You know nothing of power. What if your opponent throws a bowl at you at a very high speed?"
"When does that ever happen?"
"Now." Joddy threw the plastic bowl at Andrew. It hit his head with a boink. "See? If that was a PLATINUM BOWL WITH RAZOR SHARP EDGES AND AN IN-BUILT EXPLOSIVE DEVICE, you would've been dead."
"Ugh. I give up. I'll open a portal myself," Andrew said before storming out of the room.
Advertisement
- In Serial11 Chapters
In the name of blood
Geoffrey Robertson, real name Alexey Barintski, has his secrets, and on top of his adventurous nature also a very positive attitude towards meat. Bloody meat. After years spent with British special forces, he is getting bored, so he is starting to look for something more interesting, something more fun. However, he gets a simple message - they need help at home. Although he has not seen his blood relatives for more than a generation, he returns to his native hills and almost dies… --- A story about werewolves and vampires. Release schedule will be random, but I will try to post at least 2 chapters a month, 2000 words per chapter on average. This is my first attempt at writing, and English is not my native language, so expect a mistake or two, or three. EDIT: the past few months of my life have been hectic and I could not write much. Nonetheless, I have the story already planned out, and will finish it sooner or later.
8 211 - In Serial16 Chapters
Frontier of Blades and Walls
A clever youth is transported to a magical world called Egid. He has no special powers or talents, yet he signs up to be an adventurer. The city he finds himself in is known as Clarenburgh. It's a city-state run by the adventurer's guild because it sits on the start of a land bridge that leads to the wild, mostly unexplored frontier know as the eastern continent. How will a broke, under-equipped, clueless, weak boy fair in the adventuring capital of the world?
8 172 - In Serial6 Chapters
STEEL ABYSS
A new era is upon Kailsh. Floating above the waves of her endless oceans, the great cityships of humanity are undergoing a revolution. Ancient flotillas and sailing boats, once the lifelines of a dying race, have been transformed into towering metropolises and mighty vessels of steel through the ancient salvage upon the sea floor. It is a time of war. From once disparate tribes are born nations, fighting over the remains of dead gods deep in the abyss. Battleships sail across elysian seas and fighter jets carve trails upon a pale blue sky: a world turning upon itself in the throes of conflict. And one Coalition Warship to save it all: the battleship Archipelago. Crewed by an emergency crew of raw cadets and an artificial mind salvaged from the ruins of ancient civilizations beneath the waves, the Archipelago will face not only the enemies of the Coalition, but of humanity’s very existence on Kailsh. For some secrets are better left undiscovered, and in the embrace of the STEEL ABYSS.
8 146 - In Serial28 Chapters
Directorate: Nationbuilding in Apocalypse
A nation is just a means of survival. Metro Manila fell within 5 months of the first report of cannibalism. Once a hyperurbanized region of 15 million inhabitants, it's been reduced to a dead, greenless shell. Most of the infected had since left to ravage the countryside. The central government was nowhere to be found. Among the survivors who clung to the few gardens and humble plots of arable land left, one of them finds evidence that the slaughter wasn't going to just end with the first wave. Without a nation and a wall of guns, everyone will die. Directorate is an original nationbuilding webnovel that focuses on the gradual rise to power of a select few individuals, and the subsequent unification of the survivors of a devastated Metro Manila. Releases targeted at every 1 to 3 weeks. If there are no chapter updates after 3 weeks, there will be a progress update. Number of releases targeted at a maximum of 100 chapters. Every 10-15 chapters, there will be a 1-month hiatus to let me plan for the next 10-15 chapters. Double releases have a not-insignificant-but-still-small chance of occurring. Original cover edited on GIMP. Destroyed city original photo "apocalypse" from Camila Rodrigues on Pixabay.
8 219 - In Serial66 Chapters
Luna on the Run [EDITING]
Follow the story of Luna, a homeless teen with skewed morals, as she and her mechanical cat Freckles struggle to live a normal, problem-free life that keeps getting interrupted by bad men with bad plans. Luna on the Run will be edited until completion at an irregular pace.
8 86 - In Serial30 Chapters
the Otherworld Scientific Researcher
In the year of 2225, where technology have led humans to populate the moon and colonized Mars have reach a standstill because humans have mysteriously awoken to their psychic powers. Cultivating psychic power have become a norm and reseaching new technologies have become outdated.. Raynor, a once famous researcher have been outcasted by the world for not obtaining psychic power and has been secluded in the mountain while continuing his scientific research.. While Raynor is experimenting his warp drive, his once best friend betrayed him and sabotaged his lab while supposedly creating a black hole and destroy his lab alongside with him, the next thing he knew is he wake up in a different world, a world like the period of middle ages but is filled with magic, creatures from fantasy and.. Summoned Hero?
8 114

