PS: Yes, all reptiles have dirty mouths. Especially Komodos.

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It has been a week since I was taken from my den. The only reason I know this is that the hell I have been put through begins at sunrise and ends at sunset.

After my first impression of the fucking monster salamander that now controls my life, he introduced himself as Captain Lutox, and began to explain where (and what) I am now.

The facility that seemed to be comprised mainly of white rooms is known as the Monastery, because, while it is mainly a military installation in a key strategic area of the planet, it is also the capitol of the local Holy City. It is an enormous cylindrical building, with the outside walls having a circumference of easily 100 miles. The center of the Monastery is a dome, with the only access being an underground tunnel, that serves as the housing for the clergy and prophets of the church and the worship halls for the entire installation. Outside of this dome is the military office, barracks, commissary, training grounds, and entertainment centers, taking up the west, south, and east sides of the compound. The north side, however, is occupied by a single structure: the arena.

The arena, as a structure, is simple: a dome, with holes in the top to let in just enough light for most beings to see; gates allowing entrance and exit to the arena, which open at sunrise and close at sunset; seats encircling a walled off area in the center; and tunnels leading from the edge of the round area into underground buildings for competitors to rest and prepare. The rules of the arena, likewise, are simple: no killing; no being above Stage Three; no weapons; and if you go in, you don’t come out until you are defeated.

My orders, as a quasi-slave of the Captain, are to begin each day by battling in the arena until I am either defeated or the arena closes, and to do this until I gained a combat Ability. Well, my actual orders were a bit more… distasteful.

“Listen here, you no legged fuck. You are now my property. You have been given by your mother to the military of the planet Odras, and the commander of said military has seen fit to place you under my command. I was given the explicit order to train you until you’re even the slightest bit useful to us, and then work you until you die. I plan on fucking enjoying this order.”

At this, Vinny rustled, and the Captain paused for a moment, before snarling toward the vine’s ‘head’ and turning back to me.

“Okay, the green shit said that you can talk. So tell me what skills you have, before I burn your head off.”

Clearing my throat, I began listing my paltry few Abilities, leaving out Soul Devour. As soon as he heard that my only Ability for attacking is Bite, he smacked the ground with his tail and growled.

“Okay, the first fucking thing that you are going to do is go to the arena. Tell them I sent you, and that you’ll be going through the salamander special. This tentacle bastard will show you the way. Don’t fucking come back until you’re at least partially better than a piece of shit.”

Done with his rant, Lutox turned and walked out of the room, and Vinny encircled me once again. We moved for almost 10 minutes, and Vinny finally opened his living cage, showing me that we were in a stone room, with tables, chairs, and a desk all sprouting from the floor. Behind the desk was a cross between a fish and a monkey, whose dead eyes were staring intently at me. The monkey-fish (monkish? fonkey?) cleared it’s throat, and began speaking in a surprisingly harmonious, and clearly feminine, voice.

“Hello, young one and Lieutenant Vinchesca. How may I help you today? Are you looking for your parents, by any chance?”

Vinny turned towards the monkish, and telepathically explained my situation. She turned towards me, nodded, and bade Vinny farewell.

“Now, let’s begin with introductions. I am Cleris, the owner, manager, and main attendant of this arena. The good lieutenant has told me your name is Hain, and that you are a Stage Two Serpent. Is that correct?” At my confused face, Cleris shook her head. “I see. I’m assuming the confusion is over my reference towards your Stage, and not your name. Well, let’s begin with the beginning: Nalathi forcefully removed all of this universe’s ability to manipulate magic normally. Now, some resent Her for this. I personally believe it’s for the best. It certainly makes it easier for arenas to be cost efficient. But I digress. After Nalathi returned some magic in the form of evolution, scientists of the humanoid species began to study in what ways exactly we could evolve. You must understand, before this event, evolution was a process that affected an entire species over thousands or millions of years, and had no limits. Now, however, evolution is personal to every being, and happens literally overnight. Unfortunately, this causes it to have some limitations. These are twofold.”

“The first, and most immediate for you, restriction is that of form. Nalathi has gifted us the ability to strive towards the form of humans, but to do so, you must pay a price: your heritage. After you go through your third evolution, you must choose one of two paths for any future evolutions you may take. You can either choose to follow the path of your ancestors, and grow into a more powerful species of Serpent, in your case, and pass some of your power to your offspring; or you can wal*ahem* slither the path of the human, and forgo your ancestors. Doing so will grant you much more power early on, but is ultimately more suited towards those that wish to study the world.”

“The second limitation placed on our evolution is that of potential. As you know, once you are eligible to evolve, you must choose one of three, or in rare cases more, forms to take on. This isn’t much of a restriction, except that you may only evolve nine times throughout your life. This makes it much harder for, say, a plant to evolve into, say, a dragon. Not to imply that it can’t happen, but it is almost impossible. Anyway, this is what a Stage refers to: a stage of evolution, where Stage One is the form you are born in, and Stage Ten is that of a fully evolved individual.”

Cleris looked away for a moment, then cleared her throat and hit me with the back of her webbed paw. Shocked back into wakefulness, I just stared at her as she explained the rules of battle in the arena. After this (comparatively) brief explanation, I was shown to a small hole in a back wall that was to be my home for the duration of my stay in the arena.

The very next morning, I was woken up by Cleris and shown to a waiting room. When asked about why I was there, she only smiled and told me that I would be fighting to earn my keep, instead of having Lutox pay for lodging.

What followed was an exercise in painful combat. The very first opponent I faced was a bird with a fish’s head that attacked my blind spots from above. I’m not ashamed to say I lost almost immediately. It is very painful to fall from 30 feet in the air.

After my inglorious defeat, I was taken to a room filled with holes. Each of these holes had a green fluid in them that was supposed to heal injuries. I was allowed to rest in one just long enough to heal my internal injuries. I was then dragged out by Cleris and forced to clean the vacant waiting rooms. After I was done, I was sent off my Cleris with no food, and told to do better in my fights the next day is I wanted the luxury of food. I finally got a meal after my third day.

And that leads to my current predicament: dead tired, scales torn, fangs dulled, circling a 7 foot tall wolf-headed bear named, for fuck’s sake, Tiny. The only good news about the situation was that is was almost sunset; I only needed to stay awake for a few minutes to force a draw.

Tiny, taking my introspection as fear, roared and charged, biting the air in front of him as he went. I was barely able to dodge, and was totally unable to grab hold of him. Tiny turned and swiped at me, and connected. I hit the wall, and something in me snapped. I coiled myself up, reared back, and hissed furiously, slowly waving my head as I did so. Tiny, confused, just stared for a moment, before he began to sway in unison with me. We continued to do so for almost a full minute before I slumped down.

Tiny just kept swaying, and I recovered just enough energy to approach him. Cautiously making my way towards him, I saw that his eyes, formerly completely black, now had a large white spot in the center. Hoping that it meant he couldn’t move, I began the arduous process of slithering up his body without him waking up.

I was able to get around his neck and secure myself just as Tiny’s eyes returned to normal. Panicking, I began constricting my body, reducing his air flow as much as possible. Tiny, finally realizing that he might actually lose, clawed at my body, tearing chunks out with every strike.

The battle dissolved into a war of attrition, which I won, at a cost. My body was wrecked, and there were multiple bones showing by the time Tiny fainted. Ceris herself ran into the arena after I was declared the victor, and carried me into one of the healing baths, where I promptly passed out.

I woke up and found Ceris staring at me. She waved her hand in front of my face, and pulled me out of the water when I followed it. She placed me on yet another stool, and started talking in a very quiet voice.

“You’ve been out of consciousness for almost a full week. I hope that you finally completed Lutey’s objective, because otherwise he might actually roast you alive.”

Taking a deep breath, I nodded to Cleris, steeled myself, and opened my Status to find that the Ability I had gained was...