“Right, I am one of the waggon masters of this expedition, we have a lot to get through, so I’d appreciate it if you’d all quit down, please!”

After waiting a moment for the crowd to settle, he continued.

The man raised his hand towards the sky and cast a spell, a number of the more world wary people stiffening as he did so; light emitted from his palm sending forth a rainbow, of all things.

People watched as it ascended, then turn towards them. Those that had stiffened half rose, ready to run at the first sign of trouble.

The rainbow then burst, then cascaded down in a shower of coloured sparkles which began forming a wall of light as they fell to the ground.

Upon its surface…or front rather…a crude map of the region appeared.

The waggon master stepped through the wall and began to address his now silent audience.

Fucking show-off.

“Now, between here and our settlement of New Home…I know, I know, not the most imaginative of names…we’ll have about a six-month journey, with us only stopping at key points to rest and resupply. The journey will be long and hard, but well worth it as our new home will not only be free from the bullshit that you get from the local nobility and their politics, you will also gain access to the multitude of resources that they would otherwise deny you.”

The man carried on with his promises of plenty for all. Goodie could not help but be reminded of how America would make exaggerated promises of a land of milk and honey and streets made of gold to immigrants in the…what? 1800s? Whenever…only for the people to end up as second class citizens who would end up slaving-away for the rest of their lives, building the railroads or dying down a mine.

But it was not like he had much of a choice in the matter. Instead of giving his insecurities time to fester over the matter, he instead turned his attention back to the other meeting on the other side of the village.

The thieves were far more orderly than he would have imagined from a group of criminals. Each taking it, in turn, to inform Mr. Mayor’s thug of what they had learnt. Though snakes only heard things though vibrations rather than sound waves like humans, with a hundred points in perception, her majesty could ‘feel’ the sound, enough so that Goodie could sort of hear what was being said. Still, due to his lack of knowledge, what they said was beyond his understanding.

A few words popped up here and there that he could recognise., however, the most prominent of which being his own name. Not his nickname, not ‘Goodie’, but his full name of ‘Thomas Goodwill’. He did not know of what significance or value such a thing held for the group, the thought of voodoo and curses running wild in his mind, but he knew that he had never used that name in public…or in private, now that he thought about it.

How did they find out his full name? Who here would even know it, he asked himself? Eric? Maybe Jeremy had told the man? That would seem plausible. If they were going to accept people into their waggon train, they would at least ask for some background information beforehand. Especially with the trouble that surrounded his reasons for joining it.

Goodie’s attention was brought back to the man in front of him as he heard him say…

“The lord of the house of the ship’s wind…or something like that…and the lord of the house of the sword of the sun…”

The man rolled his eyes, a collective agreement emanating from the crowd as he did so. The locals and their stupid names, the ones he mentioned being far shorter than how they would actually be announced in their language.

“…are, or at least were, at war when we last passed by.”

Oh…shit, that was going to be trouble.

The man waved away a few questions as hands started to rise from the crowd, continuing when they lowered.

“The local nobs don’t have wars like we do. They’re more like bouts and competitions, a way for them to show off to the rest of the world. Only a problem for us if we try to get involved, which is something we will not be doing, but it does mean we’re going to have to go around to avoid their whole pissing contest. Increasing our travel time by about two weeks.”

“That is,” he added, “‘if’ they’re still fighting when we get there. These shows can go on for months, depending on how bored they are, or they can be over within a day, so we’ll see what’s what when we get there. Right! Moving on.”

What the man failed to mention was that even though the war was fake, the soldiers were real. Soldiers who would spend most of their time just standing around, bored out of their minds. He used the term soldier lightly as the men, with the exception of the nobility and other upper-class arseholes, would basically be ignorant peasants that would have been armed with whatever was available on the cheap.

The chances of them swinging their dicks about to pass the time would be high, which meant trouble if they took an interest in a waggon train full of foreigners. Now that was going to keep him up at nights. There would be no reason for them to target him specifically, but he knew how his life worked. If there was an opportunity for the world to kick him in the nuts, it would.

Through his link with Her Majesty, he could see the thieves entering some sort of discussion. He had assumed that the gang operated under a hierarchy or tyranny of might equals right, with the biggest arsehole being the leader, but the group before him discussed things in what appeared to him to be an almost democratic atmosphere, with each person no matter their age or appearance chipping in to say something. He even saw the kids have their turn.

Fuck, he thought. With the conversation remaining as mysterious as ever, he swore that he would learn the local language. Not today, but sometime.

…wait! Someone said burrows! It took him a moment to realise it had come from the waggon master, Goodie’s attention returning to his immediate surroundings.

Why was he talking about the Burrows, that was over in the east?

He looked at the map. The burrows clearly marked next to the line that indicated the route that they would be travelling along. There was a simplistic arrow in the corner with an N on top of it. Holy shit, this was the east! And the map back in the library was upside down!

The discovery, bringing a smile to his lips; But what joy he felt ended when he heard the voice of the arse-hat from earlier. And sure enough, when he turned to look at the source, there were the bunch of idiots who tried to use him.

“Look, I know it’s a huge imposition, but I really think that we ought to be fully informed about these burrows.” Said what’s his name…Robert “As the guardian of the young men and women beside me, it is my duty to protect them from any possible harm and if I need to annoy everyone with my questions to do so, then so be it.”

The waggon master visible sighed as he realised that he was not going to be allowed to continue until he answered the man’s question. Many amongst the crowd, including Goodie, groaned out loud as everyone realised that this was going to prolong their time under the blazing sun. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to have an outside meeting in the middle of the hottest of days? They did not even have the decency to provide seating, many amongst the crowd being forced to stand in order to see what was going on.

While it was a few territories over, being the closest realm to the city made it the most documented as well as the most explored realm known, as many would-be adventurers journeyed there each year to live out their dungeon-delving fantasies. The library had an entire shelf dedicated to it and realms in general and was something that most people would have at least taken a glance at if not choosing to read them first. Everyone who had been summoned, as far as he knew, was a gamer after all and who could resist the promise of a dungeon and its treasures.

Goodie had thought of them as idiots when they had first met, but that was just his nature, now, however, he truly knew them to be absolute idiots.

The waggon master started talking about the Burrows.