Goodie and the walking brain dead made their way through the spiritual barrier, one by one. Their illustrious leader, Alpha-Male, took charge by taking the lead position in front of everyone, thus proving he had the biggest dick…or something like that.

Goodie sighed.

He watched as Beta-Male and some black-haired guy, who had nothing to really distinguish himself aside from his hair colour and the fact that he carried the exact same make of spear that Goodie had, and thus becoming Spear-Guy, took up supporting positions just behind Alpha, with the Geezer following the three.

Goodie did not know what the geezer’s class was, but he assumed from his position that he was either some sort of support type, or some sort of perv eyeing them up.

He shook his head. Goodie was being a dick, not out loud, but still. He did not need to be making more enemies than he already, especially with a bunch of explosives on his neck. Or in it…however, the Alpha-bitch’s magic worked.

Goodie kept himself a little to the back; not directly in the rear as he knew that some animals preferred to attack their prey from behind, that and he did not want to risk Alpha-bitch setting of her bombs because she thought he was about to make a break for it.

Said bitch having chosen to flank him along with her backup singers, Ditsy and Skank.

He did not know what the two of them were actually like, but he named them thus, because Ditsy had a look that projected absolute confusion at what was going on, the first word out of her mouth whenever she talked being huh? And as for Skanky, she had both the look and attitude of one of those girls that would sleep with someone else's boyfriend out of vengeance for any perceived slight…or because she was bored.

Out of the people here, including Alpha-Bitch and her magic bombs, she was the one he was cautious of the most.

He had once heard Miss Conway, a nice old lady that taught home-economics and art, refer to their type as a toxic cunt; personally, he didn’t like that type of language, if you disliked someone, there were plenty of less extreme words to refer to them by, but as of yet, he had never found any reason to disagree with the old woman’s labelling. Even if Skanky did not set her sights on him, specifically, she would eventually destabilise this band of fools around him, for fun if nothing else and that was when shit would hit the fan. Alpha-Bitch seemed to be keeping her in line for the moment, but Goodie knew how this was going to go; when whatever plan these idiots had eventually failed, they would start freaking out, as is human nature. With tensions running high, the leaders would then lose control and lash out, alienating their followers. Then, seeking vengeance, the girl and others like her would do what came naturally to them.

And then the Burrows would strike.

This whole place was not just a location, a collection of mud and stone, it was the inner mind-soul-thing of a powerful spiritual entity. And like any creature it had its instincts, its immune system. And he and this merry band of nitwits were invading bodies.

He needed to escape before they went too deep, or he would have no choice but to stick with them, at least until shit went down, then he would be stuck in here, alone and defenceless.

He may have had his spear, but he did not have the training to use it. Or the strength. There was Her Majesty, but with her venom being so weak, he could only rely on its special drunk effect. But being out here in the wild, some of these hairless bunnies were bound to have some resistance, if not outright immunity to poison. If monstrous abominations born of a spirit’s soul-mind could even get poisoned, that is.

Goodie spotted a head of black hair come into view just behind Alpha-Girl’s shoulder before it ducked back down.

Not Spear-Guy; There was a short, mousy girl that kept bobbing about behind the trio of cheerleaders or whatever clique they were in, a small girl that had him literally questioning his own sanity, wondering whether or not he was the only one that could see her until he had to resort to asking Her Majesty to look and confirm that she did indeed exist.

Normally he loved ninjas, but that girl had him on edge thinking of all the ways she could interrupt any escape attempt.

Like him, she, along with the few other Invisibles in the group, belonged to the lower caste. They had not been present whenever the main caste had tried to get him to join them, so he did not know if they were originally part of the group or had been convinced to join them, but they all felt new, untested, innocent for lack of a better term.

He could hardly claim that hiding in a sewer for a year had made him world-weary, but it had taught him not to scream when shit went down. An insignificant ability, true, but you would be amazed at how many people died because they attracted attention to themselves. Even the few veterans he had spoken to had told him that the key to survival was to keep his mouth shut and his eyes open.

Another reason to run the first chance he got, he noted, as if this whole venture was not already destined for a cluster-fuck of epic proportions when they finally encountered the local residents.

He looked around at the rest of the supporting cast.

To his right, were Bib and bop, a pair of browned haired boys that looked enough alike to be mistaken for twins, but whom Goodie had earlier learnt were, in fact, cousins. To look at them you would think that they were muscle, the goons of the squad, hence his nicknames for them, but they were just thick and tall, inheriting their genetics from a clichéd corn-fed family, their bodies further widened by the consumed bulk of mass-produced foods. While their size certainly gave them greater strength than he had ever had, they were not strong, but they were slow, the two masses waddling along while chatting to each other, oblivious to their surroundings. The content of their conversation, though cheerful, gave Goodie the impression that they were not just thick in body but in mind too.

They would probably not be the first to die, but they would probably be the first to run. Or waddle.

He did not know if they were nice people or not, but he did know that they veered towards being gentle giants, though, completely unsuited to fighting, they would have relied on their size and not their fists to keep threats at bay.

He turned his head to the other side; Two people to his left, a boy and a girl, whom he would refer to as skaters. They looked more like drug dealers, but he did not want to be judgemental of fellow outcasts. Skater-boy’s hair was a dark brown, almost invisible against the wall of the tunnels behind him, Skater-Girl’s was a faded medley of dyed colours, not quite a rainbow as the girl’s selection veered towards the dark rather than the bright.

They kept close to each other. Goodie did not know if they were a couple, but they soon would be with pressures of this life forcing them to band together for safety, forming a group within the group.

Goodie wondered if he could use that in some way, but then thought better of it, he did not have the head or patience for politics and screwing around with it would only have everyone focusing on him and he did not want to be the centre of attention when people started going for each other’s throats.

There was also a lone creepy-looking kid trailing behind everyone. Brown-haired and skinny, he could not help but think of the boy as the ‘Goodie’ of this lot. The ‘actual’ Goodie would not be seeking an alliance with him, however, as the kid would probably be the first to die, being ignorant of the dangers of hanging back and all.

Actual Goodie sighed as rubbed the bridge of his nose.

How the hell had he ended up here? All he wanted to do was hunt rats and live the rest of his life in peace.

“Hey, Goodie!”

He paused a moment, breathing in, before looking up to see Alpha-Douche heading towards him.

“Well?” the douche asked.

“I assume there’s a question there?” Goodie replied

“Time to begin the plan.” Was all the alpha said, as if what that would explain everything.

“Ah…well, since you brought it up, mind telling what said plan might be?”

The douche made a show of looking up while rolling his eyes. “I already told you outside,” said the man-child with an exasperated tone. “We need you to scout the tunnels for us, look for enemies and stuff.”

Goodie took a moment to rub the bridge of his nose, a delaying tactic to help him control himself before responding to the idiot. Something he needed to do, otherwise his instinctive snark would slip out before he could help himself and that would definitely not do him any favours in his current situation.

“Plans generally have more than one step,” Goodie said, “…and I would appreciate it if you could expand on ‘enemies and stuff’, scouting is a bit more involved than what you might think and I’ll need to know the finer details to properly do my job.”

What he had said was not an outright lie, he could guess what the party had intended for him to do and he certainly did not need them to tell him how to watch out for danger…actually, considering how he was enslaved to these idiots, maybe he did. He could also not help but adding a bit of stank onto the word job when he said it, the explosive marks on him feeling like a ten-tonne burden upon his sanity.

The look on the idiot’s face as he was about to unveil the details of his grand plan was almost comical in how smug it was.

But Goodie was not one to stand for such things.

“Whisper,” he asked the idiot, coincidently interrupting him.

“What?”

“Sound travels, please whisper,” he asked as politely as possible so as not to ruffle too many feathers.

“Jennifer has a spell up…,” Alpha informed him, “…a bubble that blocks all sound going out, so we don’t have to whisper,” uttering the word ‘whisper’ in a poor impersonation of an Irish accent, mocking Goodie’s genuine one, which had almost completely vanished from his years of living overseas.

Goodie chose to ignore the childish provocation, instead, asking the piece of shite, “M’hm…and the ground?

What?

“Vibrations travelling through the ground…some creatures can hear them…or feel them or something.” Goodie informed them, no longer hiding the snark in his tone. “Or does your spell also block them?”

Goodie did not give Alpha-Male the chance to say whatever he had been about to, interrupting the fool with a finger. Not that finger, his forefinger. Which he pointed down towards the entrance to one of the many tunnels that littered the entrance to the Burrows, towards a group of monsters heading towards them.

A group of the hairless rabbit things were barrelling up the tunnel, their hurried steps sending clumps of dirt into the air as they travelled. Goodie did not know if they could feel vibrations in the ground or not, but he did know that that was not what had brought them here.

As soon as he and the group walked past the spiritual barrier, he sent Her Majesty to scout the paths ahead. She had gone through several tunnels before she encountered the trio of beasts. With the monsters completely unaware of her presence, Goodie asked Her Majesty to bite one of them, wanting to see just how effective her drunk ability would be in case he was forced into fighting them later on.

But as soon as she got within ten feet of them, they somehow sensed her general location and began chasing after her.

Now, he could have easily asked her to lose them, the speed of her [SHADOW RUN] skill far greater than what those beasts could achieve with mere feet, but that would not have benefited him in the slightest, so he had Her Majesty lead them the entrance.

The rabbits were only dangerous in numbers and there were only three of the beasts, even without his help, which he would not give unless the Alpha-Bitch beside him threatened to snap her fingers, the group was still ten adventurers strong.

True, they were a bunch of untested, inexperienced, idiots, but still, numbers did count.

Hopefully, the battle would have them discard their dreams of riches and fame or whatever dumb reason they had for coming down here. And if not, he would at least get an idea of what their capabilities were.

And with that information, he would then be able to show these arseholes what a real plan looked like.