《Schneiders Guide, or How To Kill Your Princess》0: Schadenfreude
Advertisement
‘The Germans have such spectacular words to describe human emotion.’ thought Yohanja “John” Schneider.
He couldn’t help but admit to a slight bit of narcissism in that statement, his half Germanic heritage showing in his family name. But taking such pride is only foul if it leads to too much arrogance or is placed in “facts” untrue. The Germans did have wonderful words for describing emotions, and his level of arrogance was finely maintained to be noticeable and yet not too snobbish, so John felt no need for further self inspection.
Problem being, there was nothing else to do besides self inspection. His only form of entertainment was the more extreme boredom he saw in those going through this ordeal for the very first time. Schadenfreude.
He was sat at an auditorium, looking at faces he’d have to learn for a year or three and promptly forget, listening to a speech he had heard so many fucking times it felt as though it took a piece of his soul with every bloody word. But he had to focus. He had to suppress his impatience. This was the year. Whether success or failure, he’d finally be done with this operation. He could leave this godforsaken country, and never ever talk about his years working as a high school teacher to his fellow operatives.
He could pretend it was something brutal and grim, like the company’s recent trip to a heavily radiated war zone. Or he could treat it as something utterly dull and boring, like the many lipstick missions that were taken up by operatives with less noticeable scars and more normal appearances such as himself.
Nothing more mind numbing than pretending to be interested in a noble woman's rants about books she’s pretending she has read for enough balls and parties and gatherings until she decides you’re good enough for a quick rump and dump behind the husbands back. But at least then he could be mildly drunk, or fill himself up on food too expensive for pleasant consumption on ones own wallet.
Advertisement
None of that here, no perceivable perks to be found whatsoever. Just hours upon hours of standing in a room, talking about old plays and operas with a bunch of hormonic teenagers too busy gossiping about dicks or derrieres to actually fucking listen. But in the end, he couldn’t blame anybody except himself. He had accepted the mission.
Second Amendment of The Company: no member shall be ever forced or threatened to take upon themselves any task, unless that task is a direct defense of Daggerfort. Or, well, something along those lines with far more pretentious wording.
So here he was. Finally chosen as an English professor in the brand new Academy of Knoxfort, after two years of sucking up to everybody in the industry. And as he listened to the Principals soul killing “speech”, he reminded himself:
He had one year, 365 days.
To find himself a Princess.
Advertisement
- In Serial259 Chapters
Obsession: The Lycan King's Human Mate
"Wha—"
8 3012 - In Serial11 Chapters
Errand Boy
Re-make of a fiction made by me three years ago. Please enjoy. The story of gods favorite errand boy and his latest adventure.
8 89 - In Serial24 Chapters
Puppet Lord
In the year 2142, humanity’s technology has developed to the point of cybernetic and neural implants. People all have neural receptors attached to the brains, allowing for unfettered, 24 hour a day, global access to the neural net. A string of attempted break ins to a secure facility has authorities scratching their heads. Every few days, a new person is caught trying to force their way through checkpoints, reinforced doors, and cyber security. None of the perpetrators have any criminal history, and all are seemingly unconnected. Their methods are random, and worst of all, none of them have the foggiest idea why they there in the first place. Detective Jon Peld finally finds the common thread linking all the perps together, a vr mmo known as Istrius. Mind jacking is an outdated crime, one thought to have been completely eliminated centuries ago as the neural implant tech was perfected, but all the pieces fit. He can't convince his boss though, so there's only one thing left to do: investigate from the inside.
8 142 - In Serial12 Chapters
Interactive Dungeon
Dungeons. From a lowly slime dungeon to the supreme and exalted hero-slaying dungeons, they are important. May it be for simple training of rookies to the sense of adventure for the S-Class. What type of dungeon will we be? I see a tiny square of a dungeon and you, as the dungeon master, will take hold of it and expand it how you see fit. What can you bring to this dungeon? From the author of Interactive Evolutions, comes another reader-interactive that will have everything up to the readers to decide.
8 123 - In Serial14 Chapters
Demon Contractor Unknowingly Becomes Less Of A Jerk
Alright so I guess the basic summary would be. A demon with the ability to make contracts with the gods themselves, after working for his king for several years decides to hunt his original prey, the humans as the war between humans and demons has ended. He goes to the human land aiming to create pure chaos using his abilities but has to stop as he encounters some strange humans. He pauses his journey is joined by a beast man and a little mage to figure what is going on. (Alright dis is a newbies work and all so I just hope that this is good enough)
8 99 - In Serial9 Chapters
Transformers *My Little Sister* Book One
This is a story about three siblings. A little sister and two older brothers.Moonlight is Optimus's and Megatron's little sister.Moonlight love both her older brothers and was unable to choose a side in this horrible war that has cost the lost of there beautiful home planet. So she flea. She left her home planet. Away from where she thought she will never have to see both her older brothers. But she didn't leave as far away as she thought.
8 161

