《The Fat Prince: The Orc Princess》Chapter 7: The Mad King
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”A piece of your soul?” Van asked sitting on a silky white bed. “What kind of ritual requires a piece of your soul?”
She looked out through an arched bedroom window before Archibald answered the young knight. The Majester put his hand to his scruffy chin. “I must admit,” he said. “I’m not really savvy to elf magic.”
“That sounds painful,” Cyrus responded. “What exactly do you lose when you lose part of your soul? It can’t be good.”
“It’s a shame we don’t have time to test your hypothesis, princey” Archibald said. “We should just be happy that the king is willing to help us.”
“Exactamundo, amigos,” Antonio said, lounging in the neighboring bed. “I’m just going to enjoy the gilded lap of luxury while I can and not get involved with their elf politics. Perhaps they’ve got a spa where I can feel the soft and gentle hands of a sexy elf masseuse.”
“Don’t you care at all about Oga?” Cyrus asked with a look of bewilderment.
Antonio brushed his shining hair aside and crossed his legs. “Maybe when she grows into her body and becomes a demure elf babe…otherwise, no.”
Van grinned with cruelty at Antonio. “Antonio’s just angry because she ruined the only thing that matters to him in this world- his mug.”
“Chica chica,” Antonio responded in a sing-songy tone. “You know intense anger towards people creates wrinkles, even on a smooth impeccable face.”
The suave swordsmen turned over in his bed, curling up in the covers. “I’m going to bed. It must be three in the morning.”
“Probably best if we follow him into slumberland,” the Majester responded. “We’re joining the King-a-ling for breakfast tomorrow.”
“Ok…” Cyrus responded.
He walked over to his bed and pulled the warm covers over his face. He couldn’t stop thinking about the ominous price Oga would have to pay. Eventually the weight of the darkness made his eyelids heavy and he drifted off.
Drip…drip…drip.
Cyrus groaned and mumbled.
Drip…drip…drip.
Cyrus tossed and turned as he felt his bladder start to tingle. The sound of dripping was making him have to go to the bathroom. Where was it coming from? Was it raining outside?
“Stupid rain,” he muttered as he pushed himself out of the covers and stumbled through the darkness.
He slipped his stockings on, walking across the cold marble floors to the door. It was only the glint of the moonlight that allowed him to see where anything was. Cyrus stepped out into the long hallway. Beautiful glowing fish illuminated the water walls as he crept along. “Ugh where’s that bathroom…” he mumbled.
DRIP…DRIP…DRIP…
The dripping was getting louder. Cyrus crossed his legs and began to walk faster. Where is that dripping coming from? He thought.
DRIP…DRIP…DRIP…slosh…slosh…Uggggggh…
The noises that accompanied the dripping spooked Cyrus, and soon, his bladder wasn’t the only thing that tingled. His spine froze as he felt an unnatural presence in the hallway. Cyrus had a spectral sense and could see creatures from the shadow lands. What if there were such creatures here in this elven village? He thought. There couldn’t be could there? This place seemed like a sanctuary of life and beauty. Cyrus walked faster and faster as his heart thumped.
DRIP…DRIP…DRIP…SLOSH…SLOSH…Hey!
“Ahh!!!” Cyrus screamed as he heard a raspy voice.
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“Big Orc Prince, what are you doing out of bed?” Oga asked him.
He looked down and sure enough, he saw the scruffy little elf girl looking up at him with her large blue eyes. She wore a bright lavender bed robe that clashed with her unruly hair and fanged overbite.
“Seriously, Oga!” Cyrus exclaimed “You just made me wet myself!”
“How old are you again?” The little elf asked.”I stopped doing that when I was 5.”
“Well you probably didn’t have anyone who scared the pee out of you,” Cyrus said, blushing bright red.
“Are you kidding me, Big Orc Prince?” Oga said making a tiny muscle. “Nothing scares Oga…nothing at al…”
Oga froze in mid-sentence and Cyrus could see the look of sadness returning to her face. Her eyes were downcast. “Hey,” Cyrus said gently. “We heard from your father that the ritual requires a piece of your…”
“I…I…I…” The elf princess began to stutter and her lip trembled. “I don’t want to hear it.”
She turned away from him, causing Cyrus to cry out. “Oga, can you please tell me? I’m your orc comrade. I want to help you!”
”How can you help?” The child asked without turning around. “Are you going to stop them?”
“I am royalty,” Cyrus responded. “I’m learning to use my status for good. I’ll talk to your father. Trust me, when he said the thing about souls it didn’t sound right…”
The little elf looked over her shoulder and bashfully caught Cyrus’ eyes. He could see her debating herself in her tiny head. “Can you keep a secret?” She rasped. “I know orcs don’t keep secrets--they blab as soon as they hear something-- but this is different.”
“Of course,” Cyrus responded as he crouched down and held out his hand. “It’s a non-orc secret.”
Oga’s bright blue eyes shone in the dark and she took his hand. “I like that. Now listen, my mom was the next in line to be the queen. She became the Water Bearer and started acting weird after it.”
“What did she do?” Cyrus asked.
“She no longer played with me or laughed or had any fun anymore. She was all serious all the time. And one day, she…she…”
Oga began to hyperventilate and tears trickled down her face. Cyrus immediately put his hand on her shoulder. “Did she pass away?” Cyrus asked.
Oga nodded through her tears. Cyrus could tell the little elf couldn’t even speak of it. “I don’t want to become mommy. I miss her but I don’t want to…”
Cyrus put both his hands on the child’s shoulders. He gave her a look of kingly resolve. He wanted to become the ruler his father was but with even more compassion. “Don’t worry, we’ll talk to the king. He can’t do this to his daughter.”
A fanged smile appeared on Oga’s face and she wiped away her tears. “Thank you,” she said, before she snarled. “And if you tell anyone I shed orc tears, I will tell them you peed yourself! Orcs don’t cry. You hear me!”
“Got it!” Cyrus said, realizing his reputation with Van was at stake. “Now it would probably be best if you show me where the bathroom is!”
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”Sure thing,” Oga growled and the two walked off.
As Cyrus walked down the hallway, he could swear he saw a silhouette of a mask gliding along the floor. He looked again and saw it was a trick of the light made by two fishes swimming in the water wall. He promptly forgot about it, knowing he would have to be well rested in order to persuade the Elf King.
Cyrus was woken the next morning by a stern knock at the door. “Honored guests, the king requests you in the royal dining hall.”
As Cyrus fashioned his tunic and royal trousers, he prepared a speech in the mirror. He had never spoken to another royal before and even though his parents ruled the country, the Aquarian kingdom was a different province of people. Cyrus puffed out his chest and held his breath to look fearful and mighty before he spoke. “Great Aquarian king, I hereby sanction your use of unlawful rituals towards your daughter.”
”Wow,” Van said, stopping to slide a robe over her undershirt. “You sound like my king.”
“Uh is that a good or a bad thing?” Cyrus asked.
“Depends on who you ask,” Van responded. “Many people consider Trinity’s father the most successful king in his family’s history. Me? I think he’s a bit of an over-serious tyrant.”
“And when Miss No-Nonsense, No-Fun Knight says that, you know he’s bad,” Antonio said from across the room as he pulled on a white collared shirt.
“Can it!” Van shouted back before she placed a hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. “I much prefer it when you show compassion. For the longest time, I didn’t know you had any. But you do have it. In spades.”
Cyrus’ cheeks turned bright red when he saw Van’s face soften into a gentle smile. “O-f course,” he responded. “That’s exactly what I’ll do!”
The Aquarian dining hall was a magnificent shade of aquamarine with draping banners that hung in indigo. A table of glowing white wood stretched the length of the hall. The Aquarian king sat in a elegant purple robe with a silver circlet placed on his wine colored hair. His daughters sat to the left and right of him, dressed in matching regal robes. Severa maintained that holier-than-thou air with her nose and mouth lifted in a permanent sneer. Oga sat with a look of malaise on her face. She frantically thumbed her long claw like finger nails on the table. A curly haired, mustached elven steward stood at the king’s side. It was hard to tell if his eyes were closed or he was just squinting.
“Welcome friends,” the Aquarian king said raising a square cup in their honor. “We’re happy you’ve come to our breakfast buffet.”
Cyrus hungrily rushed to the table and much to his surprise, the vegan menu didn’t look that bad. There were rich purple grapes and prunes in silver bowels. Orange slices, diced apples and watermelon were laid out on wooden boards fresh for the grabbing and there were piles of dark almonds too. Cyrus breathed a sigh of relief. Sure a turkey leg would be nice, but at least there were alternatives to icky vegetables. Cyrus and Van took their seats on Oga’s side while Antonio and Archibald sat by Severa.
“Before we begin our meal,” the king said. “I would like to toast to you humans. Without you, my darling princess wouldn’t be here to rule the kingdom!”
Cyrus watched Oga visibly squirm and he knew he would have to speak soon.
Elven waiters with slicked hair entered the room with pitchers of sparkling water.
“You are in for a real treat,” the Aquarian king said in his deep voice. “You are the first humans to taste our deep earth spring water in 100 years. When you drink this, you will despise any water that doesn’t come directly from us. ”
The waiters poured water in everyone’s cup. “After this meal,” the Aquarian king said, raising the cup to his lips. “I will send my men to travel with you to the ridge. Does anyone have any concern about this or anything else?”
Cyrus raised his hand nervously and everyone looked at him. “I have a concern, Mr. King. It doesn’t have to do with travel. It has to do with your practices…”
The king looked at Cyrus sternly. The prince felt his adam’s apple slide down his throat. He wanted to speak but he couldn’t get the words out.
Suddenly the king winced and when he opened his eyes they were wide with mirth. “Water you waiting for Prince, speaketh thy words hahahaha!!!”
Everyone stared flabbergasted at the king as he let out a loud scream and rocked back and forth in his chair.
The steward quickly grabbed the king’s goblet and dipped his finger in it. He tasted a small drop. “Everyone, drop your pitchers immediately. This isn’t deep earth spring water. It’s crazy water from Mirth Woods. The king’s been poisoned!!”
Cyrus watched as the king struggled with his dosage of crazy water. One of his eyes squinted while the other was wide open and his jaw hung open. “Whoooo did this to meeeee?!”
The king held a prune between his fingers and exclaimed, “Prune the kingdom until we find the fiend! And then, I’ll challenge him to…”
The king seized a small spice leaf from the table and held it up. “Pars-ley!”
“Gadzooks!” Archibald screamed as he held an almond in one hand and a berry in the other. “The kings gone nuts. Berry nuts!”
“Oh no,” Van exclaimed. “Archibald did you drink the crazy water too?”
“Nah,” the Majester laughed in his squawky voice. “I just think it’s fun to make food puns.”
“This is no time for levity,” Severa yelled, looking concerned for once. “My dad needs help!”
”Thaaaaat’s right,” the Aquan King bellowed as he tore his robe and beat his chest. He grabbed a knife and brought it down on a lettuce leaf, splitting it in half. “Hee hee when we find the culprit, it’ll be his head…of lettuce!”
Cyrus looked at Oga who had been strangely silent the whole time. When her eyes made contact with Cyrus, she shook in fear. “Cyrus, I’m sorry!” She cried. “I had to!”
The little elf quickly ran off through the curtain behind the king, leaving everyone but the deranged Aquarian king in silence. “Shut the palace down,” the steward shouted. “No one gets out of here until the culprit is caught!”
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