Kiromir 13

"What the living FUCK Gaffriel? What the fuck? Chata, ryel nah! Sunna ryel nah! Suts ala tak man rey!" I felt angry, livid, beyond incensed. I swore up a storm. If I wasn't careful, I'd summon Letti like some sort of swear demon.

Gaffriel held his expression stone as I shouted. He had a grin plastered across his face over half the trip back to my home. Not surprisingly, the motion light turned on in the grousing window when we approached, and there were some notes left for me. But they could wait. I had a hellion to deal with.

I shoved him and kicked him inside the door, the flat of my foot shoving his butt into a scramble. He was still at that gangly age, all elbows and knees. Then, he clattered to the floor ass in the air. Had I any less control over myself, I'd be beating him with every bit of force his father should have been, the useless drunkard. I took pity on them because of his mother, but I'd practically raised Gaffriel and had taught him better. They were so close at one time, he and Niala. Now, they were pulling apart slowly, and I could see their nervous glances. It was the calm before the storm that I didn't know if I was ready for. Because of this, I told myself that she would do better with a wealthier flock, but I didn't want her to leave either.

"I told you to keep your distance! Ever since you got your fire, you've been trouble. I just wanted to keep her safe!" I ran my hand through my hair. Sweat had plastered it down to the back of my neck, and the ends were starting to curl.

"Safe from what, Kiromir? You? The rest of the flock? Are you trying to hide something deeper? Is she like a halfbreed with a human or something? I don't care what kind of creature she is. She's Niala! You can tell me!" Gaffriel bore his teeth at me as he spoke, biting at the air with harsh syllables.

There's some fight in him after all… If he can't fight, he can't stand in my shoes one day.

"We’ve had every theory, Gaffriel. The long story is that we don’t know. We never have, for sure. She’s likely from another tribe, not any of our flocks. But, we’re pretty certain Acir. She’s here, so they have to exist, right?” I metered my voice as I watched him, scrambling back—defensive. I didn’t like to watch him be so frightened. As flock leader, I had an image to protect and dominance to assert. We weren’t fragile creatures or breakable things. He had his fire, and we considered him an adult in ways, so I had to treat him like any other flockmate that had broken my creed.

“Does it matter, then? She’s been my best friend since she was little, since before she could talk.” I could see his eyes glancing about, sizing up his surroundings.

“She’s got the notice of higher-ups in other flocks. She has a better life with them if they take her, more resources to search.” I had my excuses. I’d entertained their offers and did as my mother suggested, but I didn’t want her to leave. I could be selfish like that. Rolyn clearly had no problem with it. She had grandiose ideas of breeding Niala for her strength into the weak-chinned inbred Grells. The word ‘breeding’ being used for Niala always made me sick.

“Do you really think if they thought another tribe existed out there that they’d barter with you for her? Do you really think they haven’t already searched and tried?” Gaffriel had a point. I went through the motions, doing anything so that the flocks didn’t come down on me for bringing in an outsider.

I’d thought about it over the years, wondered why they had kept their options open, had mentioned every year that they wanted me to keep Niala close to their boys. We talked about money, millions, enough to keep our compound flush for a generation. I didn’t want the money, just to know Niala would be well cared for.

“I think they could do more things to search if they had her.” The words came flat from my defeated lips. I lacked the conviction.

“We’re not dumb, Kiromir! We know she’s different. All the flocks of the wildlings bear the same marks. We’ve never heard of anything like her outside of children’s stories. It doesn’t work. We all know she’s something special, but you can’t find her family, and that’s why you keep taking her back there, back to Russia. You’re looking for clues, and you have the resources, not them.” He never raised his voice to me like this, anger boiling in him. I could see hints of his fire in his eyes.

Keep going, Gaff; you might actually impress me this time.

“I do have resources, and it’s the other flock. The Grells have put ten million on her if she binds to one of their sons!” As I thought about it, I winced. ‘Aristocracy,’ they touted and bred themselves as. It all felt incestuous. The longer time went on, the more certain of it I became.

“Ten million? That’s it? Ten million? For ten million, you’d send her away, only to see her once a year?” His shoulders were tensing, and I could feel the twinge in my ikris. He wanted to lash his wings. I didn’t like the idea any more than he did. I loved her like a daughter.

“It was my best chance to find others and keep her here!” I pointed a hand at him accusatorily. He wanted her here as much as I did. I had to remind myself of that.

“You’ve tried what you know. She’s got her fires, now. She can read and speak as good as any of you, so have her look through the texts to see if she can figure anything out?” Gaffriel’s voice cracked with unshed tears. He was still just a kid.

“We’ve tried already, Gaff. She doesn’t remember anything more than her child self did!” I ran my hands through my hair. His ikris were still twinging. I was stronger than him.

“Then figure something out, or don’t. Don’t just sell her to someone because you’ve lost hope or think so badly of me that you’d send her away, make her lose the only family she’s really known to keep her away from me.” Gaffriel rubbed his eyes. The twinge died down, and the aura of mourning spiked. Finally, he lost steam and started to come down.

“I want what’s best for her!” I pointed to his chest and prodded firmly.

“Then let her decide!” Gaffriel stood and braced himself. Finally, we were face to face, his muscles twitching. He purposefully spiked his aura, trying to manipulate me! The tears were there, but his anger grew far worse.

Well well…

Every muscle in my body tensed at that moment. Just because I was a little impressed didn’t mean I wasn’t angry. Then, in a fit of rage, my arm seemed to move of its own accord and found purchase against Gaff’s jaw with a satisfying clack and huff of breath. He stumbled back, brows furrowing. His fires twitched beneath his skin, and he did everything he could do not to open himself wide. He didn’t retaliate, but the look he gave me stung.

“You done?” Gaff asked. The aura dropped, and the calm that went over him felt cold and dangerous. It took over so suddenly that I had to wonder if Thanus was nearby. Then again, I didn’t feel his specific kind of peace. If Gaffriel could keep this up, I just might respect him.

He attempted to bait me, and I lunged once more, fist to face, sending him hurtling back against the flimsy wood of my home’s door. He crashed out of it, stumbled, and fell to the ground outside. The sparse grass and hard dirt broke his fall. A thin rivulet of blood trickled down his lip. His hazel eyes glowed with his fire, the red overshadowing them.

“Know your place, Gaffriel.” I loomed over him. I wondered if he’d back down. As flock leader, I couldn’t. No matter how much I wanted.

“I know my place. It’s on the ground, beneath everyone, the son of a wastrel and a drunk. I’m not good at much, and I know it!” He rolled to his side and climbed back to his feet, fight still left in him. Something in his posture and stance gave me hope. He’d learned and grown into his new height a little more. I wondered who had been teaching him.

Frost crackled around my fingers, and my ikris tingled. I rolled my shoulders to let my silvery wings slice free. It felt so good, the cold air on them. The reaction triggered something subconscious in Gaff, and his brown wings arched free in retort. This proved my dominance and strength. Over his hands, true fire crept. The mourning aura clouded around me again. Every time I saw the fires, they reminded me of my father. His grief and mourning worked better on me than it did most others in the flock, and I had to steel myself against it as I let my aura of fear flow free in response. Not a mote of panic or fear crossed his face. He shrugged it off as easily as anything!

“You say you know your place, but you saw her scared of her own fires and decided to what? See if you had a chance? Did you ask? Did you give HER a chance to think, Gaff?” I got a reaction from him, a break in his steel.

“I took a chance when I had it! She could have stopped me!”

“You didn’t take a chance; you took her decision! Of course, she was going to try you! Given time on your own, she would have asked you, but no, you had to do that right in front of me!” I seethed. I don’t think I was even angry at him. My anger stemmed from having seen it; I got mad that she was growing up. The happiness I felt from her having got her fires dwindled free of me.

He had no right to risk letting her hurt him. If things had gone wrong, he could have lost his hands, arms, worse. I saw what happened to that man. He pushed his fires on her, so she could feel his own energy. They were stupid kids and surely would have done as any other of us had in our youth. They’d have snuck off somewhere and tried to see how it felt. I’d felt a few girls' fires in my teenage and adult years, had never found a compatible one, but there was a secret thrill to it that he didn’t give her a chance to discover.

“Yeah, I’m a bastard.” His voice went low and quiet. He knew what he’d done, but he had that defiant look in his eyes, daring me. He twitched his ikris and spiked his aura. He still challenged me.

I lunged for him. Rage coursed through me, and frost bit at his skin where my hand grabbed his shirt. My other hand, solid as ice, fisted, cold, struck him again, and again he didn’t rebut.

“Happy?” He wheezed. I could see blood trailing from his nose, pooled between his teeth.

“The fuck, I’m not happy! How could I even think of you as an option if you won’t even fight back or fight with us!” I shoved him to the ground once more. His wing cocked at an angle behind him, and he just got back up, ready to take it again. He was resilient if anything. Also, he didn’t try to shy away from my fist.

Respect.

“You keep making half excuses to train me, to spar, but nobody gives me enough time to learn. Maybe if you invested in me a little, you wouldn’t be so disgusted with me.” Gaff spat a mouthful of blood to the ground and braced himself. “If you’re so sick of me as an option, then help me be better!”

My stomach sank, and I felt disgusted with myself. Everyone had chipped in here and there to help Gaffriel. I’d shown him more time than anyone else, but he was right. Everyone let him down. He was part of the flock, and we were so set that his parents should be the ones caring for them that we forgot the important things. So if I was even the tiniest bit disgusted at him as her potential bondmate, it was because I had failed to build him up.

“You never tried!” I told him. I just wanted to make excuses. He was a kid; of course, he wouldn’t have that kind of drive unless we taught him. That was our job to instill it in him.

He huffed a sharp breath and came back at me, fists drawn, speed on his side as I dodged and felt knuckles over my cheekbone roll off of me. I had his arm, pushed him back as my fire roared within me and cold burned at his skin, but that didn’t stop him.

A switch flipped. Gaffriel went wild; he fought for what he wanted. Fists flew, mine and his. His knee landed hard in my stomach, and the wind knocked out of me. I stumbled back a step. He had gotten stronger from the last time I scuffled with him. I knew someone had been teaching him before we fell to the ground, a tumble of limbs and thudding punches. Heat seared across my face on sharp knuckles. An elbow jammed into my side, and I grunted in frustration, drew back, and came around with my fist. A hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me just in time for Gaffriel to swing dead center to my face and collide with my nose.

“Hey, hey!” Thanus’s voice called out. Before I knew it, his firm hand clasped to my wrist, and Gaffriel slipped out of my reach. Once more, I lunged, but Dimal stood in the way.

Arms grabbed at me, pulled me back as I spat blood. My blue fire flared in my eyes. It danced on my eyelashes. I had burn marks all over me, and Gaffriel had frostbite.

“He won’t leave Niala be!” I said, fighting against Thanus’s grip. Dimal went to Gaffriels’ side and walked away with him. His wing cocked up, crooked; he limped as blood trailed down his neck. Gaffriel didn’t even look back and held his head high. He’d gotten his fair share of licks in. They headed off towards Dimal’s home. Letti, for all her foul language, made a damn fine healer.

“For feather’s sake, Kiromir. He’s just a damned kid,” Thanus said as he jerked me a little to break my rage. I’d never felt small before, but I did when Thanus had me locked in his arms.

“He tested his fire on Niala to see if they clashed,” I said, and Thanus shook his head with a wince of disgust.

“Niala’s put him in his place before. He didn’t look worse for it.” Thanus glanced back in the direction they left.

“But she just got her fire. She’s scared of it. She didn’t even know what to do, really. He had no right… They melded.” It came out of my mouth like a swear, and I wilted. Thanus still held me up, though. “He saw her with it out.” Those last words were hard to say.

“And he still tested his fires? He’s a braver man than I.” Thanus’s grip relaxed on me, but he still kept his arms there. His breath trailed hot against my neck, metered, calm. The smell of his ault encompassed me, and my anger melted away with his oncoming peace. He smelled like ozone and earth.

Thanus was one of the few who knew about Niala’s tail, and his theory was far different from everyone else’s. Some thought her to be a new tribe of wildling lost. Most people did, anyway. Though we thought her to be Acir, Thanus believed that she was actually seraph.

I jerked myself away from him. Blood dribbled over my lips, and I could barely breathe.

“Part of me wonders if you’re just jealous.” Thanus had a reserved look, and my stomach clenched.

“She’s my daughter.” I felt so disgusted, but he turned soft, and the reservation in his voice faded to understanding.

“No, not for Niala. Jealous of anyone being compatible. You and I’ve never found anyone our fires work with.” Thanus averted his eyes. I felt a pang of guilt that I had never been able to find a mother for her. Perhaps I felt a pang of jealousy for all the others that had found soulmates.

“Remember when we used to sneak off at the migrations? The new girls from the flocks, sneaking off to test our fires?” My shoulders rounded as I buried my busted face in my hands. It ached every time I thought about the loneliness I felt.

“Yeah? Never really went anywhere, but it’s what all of us did!” Thanus agreed, but he kept his eyes from mine. He had something to say that he held tightly to.

“I wanted that for her, to go sneaking off behind my back and just pretend it wasn’t going on.” I really wanted that ignorance. He gave my shoulder a squeeze.

“Yeah? Well, all of us boys are in for a celebration. I’ll have Krell keep with her. What color streamers do we throw up for her?” Thanus said as he drew his hand back from me and looked at the blood on it—mine, Gaff’s, human…entrails. He wrinkled his nose.

“Black,” I said, and with hoarse breath, I told him.