17 Kiromir

I think I slept more soundly that night than I had in a long while. A wholeness and peace overcame me. The thought had never occurred to me that I… That my soul… I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

It wasn’t precisely looked down upon in our culture. It wasn’t celebrated differently. Our souls could no more help who they called out to than we could help the turning of the Earth and seasons. I never thought of it as an option. Our population dwindled, and we had fewer children. My prerogative had always been to find someone to have a child with, not to share my life with.

I woke refreshed and ready to hit the road. I didn’t see Niala in her room. The other fledglings hadn’t seen her, either. Thinking, it took me a few minutes of looking before I found Krell. He seemed puzzled for a moment before he laughed and pointed over to the barrack mounds. I didn’t see her at first, but I saw the black and silver striking outline of her wings folded over her when I squinted. She had a funny way of sleeping when something rattled her—balled up, fists buried into her neck, wings plastered over her body like a shield from the outside world. We tried to break her of it, but that’s how she coped. I think it had more to do with drowning out the scents of the outside world by caging herself in her own aulted wings.

I frowned. I didn’t like seeing Niala that way. I could only hope she kept her tail in. With her black fires, there might be people that would already know. She’d have to explain it to anyone she melded with eventually.

“Niala!” I called out as I jogged up the hill. She had curled up in the grass, comfortable and at peace. Swollen eyes peered up at me. At some point, she’d been crying.

“Ni?” I paused as she moved her wiry limbs to sit up and blink at me with those deep blue eyes of hers. She yawned and flicked her wings, and I noticed the feathers were bent and shuffled from how she slept.

She’d need to scruff them again.

“Hey, ada.” She drew her wings back in with a sharp jerk. It made my ikris respond in a twitch. Guilty eyes met mine.

“Sorry, I let them out last night and forgot.” She shrank under my gaze, waiting for me to be angry.

“No harm this time. Just be more careful.” I offered her a hand to stand. She stood stiffly.

“Did I miss the caravan?” Her eyes went wide in realization. She looked tired and feverish. Niala desperately needed to fly a little, soon. Fortunately, our kind had little that made us sick, so fevers were all things to do with wings and mana.

“Nah. We’re still packing up. Got anything you’re missing?” I stuck my hand in my pockets.

“An apology,” She scathed as she followed me. She still felt bitter about Gaffriel.

“I’m certain he’ll have one waiting for you. He’s had the talk from half the guys in our team and the elders. He should have given you time and waited for you to offer.”

“He was stupid, but he didn’t mean anything by it,” she said, but I could feel the hurt on her.

“Yeah, and I think he realizes it. It doesn’t excuse how he was acting, but we should have nipped him harder for bothering you a while ago. He forgets you’re younger than him.” I tugged at my short braid. My hair needed to be oiled and feathered again.

“I don’t think he was trying to see me like that. I think he just wanted me to react or look at my wings,” Niala said nervously, and I could almost hear a blush in her voice. She had that same tone she used when I’d caught her doing something she shouldn’t have been.

“Did you want him to see your wings?” I asked her.

“If he’d have asked, maybe, but I….” Her face washed with misery. This probably wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have with me.

“I’m not mad.” My voice came out softer than I imagined it would, and she relaxed—surprised.

“It was funny the first few times when I could beat him down after, but it just became annoying, and I was afraid he’d see my tail, but he found out anyway, and I feel like I’ve lied to him,” She admitted, rambling. Niala hadn’t been upset by him. Instead, Gaffriel made her feel things she didn’t want yet. The violence, the anger—she had been reacting to her own confused emotions.

“He’ll get over it,” I told her. My mind lingered on Letti and something she’d told me when all this started.

‘She likes Gaff. She just doesn’t know it yet.’

“Then I need to get over it! I don’t know if I want to. He’s my friend, and he took it too far, and I lied to him. He could have gotten hurt.”

“The most he could have done to you is given you a singe. I worry about your fire, though. I worried what it would do to him. I think you need some time to practice with your fire before you go off testing it and hurt someone.” I looked over and saw her face riddled with guilt. I smiled before reaching out to ruffle her hair.

As we walked out to the motor home and passed all the people packing, everyone seemed to be in a hurried frenzy to get up and get out. They had an extra day! I shook my head. The fledglings ran around screaming; mothers and fathers chased them to gather their things, load up, strap down, and stop fighting with one another. I smiled at the sight. I remember the short-lived days I had to corral Niala. She always played rough; she still played rough. I thought about Krell’s wrist last week. Then again, most of the boys had been acting fools. Naturally, she’d handed out her fair share of violence the past few months.

Krell walked right up to her and tagged her with his ault, aiming for her wing. He just got her arm, but his scent lingered on her, and she didn’t take it well. Ault can’t be washed out easily. The idiot shouldn’t have done it. I wonder if Gaffriel knew and wondered what he’d do if he found out.

Krell sat near our camper at one of the picnic tables as we shuffled up, and he waved at me with a quick gesture, and I waved back. Krell was a good boy, growing into a good man. But, when he laid his hand back down, I couldn’t help but notice his hand. I wondered if he’d healed well, but I saw his skin, scratched from finger to wrist with little scabbed over slivers.

“Catch a cat?” I asked, laughing at him before I climbed into the wagon. Like a cat could possibly break our skin as easy as that. Niala lagged behind me, and I turned to look at her mortified face.

A moment lapsed between us, and I wondered why a sharp red blush crept over her cheeks as her lips pursed guiltily. She froze in place, and I could feel her aura of oblivion creeping out. It took me a second to shake it off.

“What’s going—” Krell averted his guilt-ridden eyes as he put his scratched hand under his arm.

Scratches… Cuts… Niala’s fire…

“You little…” That little rat… I wanted to forget every nice thing I said about him.

“Sorry, Ni! Gotta go!” Krell said before he bolted from the table so hard that the bench toppled to the ground.

I jumped down from the camper and ran as hard as I could after him. We told him to protect her! He was supposed to make her feel better… The sniveling little…

“GET BACK HERE! I TRUSTED YOU!”