-18 Niala-

Kiromir looked rough. He had a swollen cheek, a cut over his lip, and the general rough appearance of a night spent in a good fight. Feeling guilty, I followed him up to the motor home.

The moment that Krell raised his scratched hand, my stomach twisted in my gut. I averted my eyes, pursed my lips, and focused hard on not being seen. That had been a bigger giveaway than anything. When I was little, I always thought Kiromir had immunity to my aura. But, as I got older, I realized that he just associated the sudden forgetfulness and lack of attention with me. Even then, I’m sure he misplaced his keys at times and called my name just to be sure.

He put two and two together.

He got four.

Krell ran.

“Wait! Ada!” I called after him, but the spectacle had already started.

A hunched elder sitting at a nearby table watched the spectacle with benign interest as he sipped something hot from a mug, and I wilted.

Dimal saw me, and his eyes danced with mischief.

“Already causing problems with the boys?” He laughed. I shrank more into myself. I didn’t mean for it to be that way. Wanderer girls didn’t stick around very long. Women in our flock tended to love hard and leave early. There weren’t any unbound women older than me in our flock, so I got more attention than I wanted.

“Krell was just trying to show me how it worked and what it felt like if it failed,” I said. I nervously twisted my hands together, squeezing at my wrists until they popped. “We just touched fingers….” I felt like I had to specify that last part like it changed something about it. It didn’t.

“Good on him. He can show off his wounds to the other flocks and see if anyone’s brave enough to give your fires a taste,” Dimal laughed. He’d always been like family to me, he and Thanus. Thanus had straight-up earned ‘uncle’ status in my little made-up hierarchy of family. Dimal didn’t get that far with me, but his wife, Letti, definitely had substitute mom vibes.

I made a harsh noise in the back of my throat. “Eugh.”

“Gaff’s over behind the common hall if you want to catch him while Kiromir’s distracted,” He said. His eyes traversed the grounds to where Kiromir gained on Krell. I always forgot how fast Kiromir could run until he jumped into action. Krell seemed to be holding his own, though and laughing.

I nodded slowly and made my way to the common hall. I didn’t know what I wanted to say to him. I still felt mad but mad at myself. I’d pulled myself away from him just to hide my lies and feelings. I didn’t know if I could count it as ‘hiding’ anything when I only just realized what my anger had meant.

I thought I’d made up my mind about what I wanted, and I held to my certainty when I turned the corner and saw Gaff sitting on the ground, draped over his bunched knees.

“Gaff?” I called out, and he barely moved, save for a short wave of his fingers which laid over his legs. I moved closer to him and sat.

“We both owe one another apologies,” I said quietly.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” He asked.

“Not really something I could. Kiromir just said not to tell until we figured it out. It’s because of the Acir and the bad reputation the seraphim had in the stories. At first, he was afraid I’d be bullied, then it just became a habit.”

“I wouldn’t have treated you different.”

“I was afraid you would.” I felt tears stinging in my eyes before I scooted close to him and pressed to him side to side.

“I wouldn’t have. Ni, I don’t know what I’d do without you around. I don’t want you gone,” Gaff said, choking. He bunched up tighter to himself. I could see the bruises on him, and I didn’t feel vindicated. He’d done something dumb, sure, but... I looked to my hand, then to him.

“Want to do it the right way?” I asked, hesitant.

“Do what?” He said, lifting his head to look at me. I could see the healed marks on him; Letti had done a good job. His eyes left my face and looked down at my hand.

He looked hesitant.

“I’ll give you my fire willingly. You just have to agree to ask when you want something from me,” I said, letting my black flame lick up over my palm.

“Only if you leave, you have to take me with you,” He said as he lit his flames over his palm. Our hands grasped for one another’s. He felt my swimming scratches, strained at first, then light as feather touches. I felt the warmth of him swim up my arm, and something about it felt pleasant, right.

“Do we stop?” I asked. My cheeks felt hot, and I tamped down the urge to hit him.

Why am I like this?

He looked down at it and shrugged.

“It feels nice,” He said with a timid smile. I made no move to pull my hand back, but our fires slowly ebbed, and there we sat, hand in hand, staring out. We didn’t need words.

We sat there a while. Our hands stayed clasped. We didn’t even flinch when we heard footsteps, Kiromir’s loping gait. He saw us there, still holding hands, fires gone. He didn’t look pleased, but he wasn’t as angry as before.

Gaff looked to him defiantly, daring him to say something.

“You all ready to go?” Kiromir asked.

“Yep,” I said.

Gaff nodded.

We had to release our hands, and we stood. Gaff tugged to my sleeve and opened his arms. I wrapped my hands around him and buried my face to his shoulder. Gaff had gotten taller. We squeezed one another.

“See you in a few days, then?” He asked.

“No, since you’re riding with Thanus and coming with my convoy,” Kiromir grumbled. “Your father isn’t going on migration. We’re finally forcing his hand on getting sober.”

Gaff went silent. Kiromir turned away from him and spoke, his tone low and threatening.

“You nearly kicked my ass last night. That look you gave me just now; you’re growing a set of stones. We’re going to give you that chance you asked for,” Kiromir said before waving me to him. Gaffriel sat there, stunned, confused. A soft grin spread across his sore face, and I could see the empty gaps where he’d lost a few teeth. They were already budding with the next one.

“Ada?” I asked as we walked our way towards the motorhome.

“Don’t mind me. Everyone’s lives are changing, and maybe we ought to talk on our drive,” Kiromir said, and the palpable relief and ease in his voice felt good.