Gaffriel 24

I wanted to apologize to Niala—to find the perfect thing. Thanus knew about her tail, had suspected her Acir nature for a while.

"Anyone with a half-ounce of curiosity to look through the elder's books can see the tails and their markings. That line between her wings was a dead giveaway for me," Thanus told me. “Kiromir let me know right off the bat.”

The silence grew between us in a wavering moment. I knew that Kiromir picked Thanus as his second, but the secrets that they shared were surprising at times.

"Gaff, you goofed. She goofed because Kiromir told her to. You goofed because you're insecure. You know she'd never leave you alone. She's at that moody age girls get to, and just needs her space," Thanus said.

"I don't know how to show her I'm sorry." I hung my head in shame.

"Well, you and I both know that a bouquet or a few pinions aren't out of the question," Thanus grumbled. I knew that. The thought of plucking one of my primaries, my pinions, made me flinch.

"Your reaction to her tail won't make her want to whip it out again around you any time soon. Is it really that bad?" He asked.

"No, it was just there, and the feathers on the end of it can move on their own. I wanted to see it or touch it, but I… I was too startled." The strangeness of it took me by surprise at first. I could feel heat crawling over my cheeks. It made me mad that Niala had never told me. But it was so freakin' cool, and I wanted nothing more than to see and touch it.

"You’ve never gotten yourself any ink yet. You’re still doing Henna in the summers. How about you design your first tattoo before you make that bouquet for her. I think you have some inspiration.” Thanus’s hands gripped the steering wheel. We had an hour until our stop, and I thought hard about his suggestion. Then, finally, the perfect design came to mind.

When we came to a stop, I showed him what I’d done. I could barely contain my excitement as I flashed the drawing to him, and he grinned over it.

“Pretty good. You sure about this?” Thanus gave me a cocky grin. I nodded.

At our first stop, Niala and Kiromir stood by their camper. Drink in hand, she waved, and as her mouth opened, a multicolored stain played over her tongue. Kiromir and Thanus stood a little too close together, and he tasted Kiromir’s slush. Maybe Niala would let me taste hers like that someday, and I could touch my lips to where hers were. It made me question what our flock leaders were doing, but I wasn’t stupid. Half the flock already had ideas about Kiromir being a swan. Kiromir was probably the only person that didn’t know, if not Niala too.

I caught a glimpse of her for a moment, and I knew I’d made the right choice. If she didn’t like it, I could cover it up or wait for it to fade off in a few years.

That excitement went away when Thanus sent me to the back of his camper for the rest of that day’s ride. He pointed me to the back, expression stern. “Bouquet!” I grimaced.

I’d never purposefully ripped a feather out before. I’d had my triannual molt, and some of those feathers could sting when they got loose. I started with one of my secondary covert feathers because It seemed like it’d be a safe bet. I grasped to the vane and tugged hard.

My eyes watered; I squelched a shout in just a syllable. I felt my gonads retract. Precious little did that but a square on kick to the boys.

“You good?” Thanus asked. His reflection grinned at me from the rearview mirror.

“Yep! Just…dozen more to go,” I wheezed. On no level whatsoever did I want to give Thanus the satisfaction of seeing me chicken out.

A dozen feathers later and I had a small handful in my lap. Finally, I reached my limit at six or seven feathers and had to take a break, then started back up with watering eyes and shuddering breaths. My wings ached, and the gaps in my coverts and secondary flight feathers advertised my apology. I swallowed hard.

Thanus glanced back at me and shook his head.

“Think two primaries will be enough?” I asked him and Thanus cringed.

“Up to you. Just do yourself a favor and keep the plucking even or you’ll not be able to fly right.” I wish he’d told me that earlier as I stared down at the left-heavy plucking I’d done. My right-wing just felt more sensitive. I groaned.

He looked up and choked back a laugh.

I grumbled and sorted through my clothes, finding the most ripped-up I could part with. I used it to wrap and tie off my bundle of feathers. Then, I used the rest of the shirt to dab at the bleeding spots where my feathers came from.

“If there’s any still bleeding when we stop, I’ll get Letti,” Thanus offered. I made clean plucks, so they should have healed fine.

“Great. Thanks,” I said with a shaken breath and pale composure. I didn’t want to say anything, but there was a good chance I’d peed myself a little at some point.

Lesson learned.

Respect people’s boundaries.

Don’t piss off Ni.