Niala85

Revik returned from the store, but Gaff wasn’t with him. I wanted to trust him so badly for all the stories Kiromir had told me, but I bristled my aura all the same. Fortunately, the medicine he’d given me worked very well, and I felt strong enough to challenge the man.

“Where’s Gaff?” I asked, my upper lip twitching as my tail slid free and made a snapping noise, not unlike my wings.

That’s new.

Revik placed a paper bag of groceries onto a counter and approached me with that ‘I have bad news’ look, hands up placatively.

“He’s out in the car. I just told him to wait outside because we probably need to have a few words. You’re feeling better, right?” He handed me yet another bottle and walked outside with one in his hand. He returned a moment later empty-handed.

“Did I get Gaff sick, too?” I hadn’t noticed him with a fever or getting tired all the time.

“In a way,” he said, giving a noncommittal shrug. His ease made me feel somewhat better.

“Now, you know I’m a healer, and you know I’m a doctor. You also know I know your people, yes?” I waited for the awful news to come like I had some kind of Acir disease and would die. Relief spread through me that I hadn’t bound to Gaffriel yet.

“I know,” I said as he seemed to be searching for words.

Then he told me. He started with how my people, the Acerrai, separate their children. Then he told me about how my kind bonds harder and stronger than the others. I waited to hear the awful news when he finally said something I really wasn’t prepared to hear.

“Seriously?” I looked from the bottle in my hand to Revik. He knew what he was doing, but it never occurred that my pitched fevers and exhaustion came from binding fever. I knocked back the drink.

“I never got to go on migration, you know? I’ve only ever tested his fires and one of our flockmate’s,” I said this like it mattered.

“If it’s any consolation, you couldn’t even if you hadn’t gotten the fever. Every fire is damned to fail for you.” Revik’s hand rubbed over his neck, and he gave me a crooked smile. “When I get you to your family, you can use the time to get some distance from him and decide if you want to complete your binding or not when ready. The Acerrai are the only ones who know how to strip it. I’ve thought about it myself, but I think I loved Felice a little too much. “

“I just want Kiromir. I’ll worry about binding when the time comes.” I said out loud, mostly for my own benefit. I didn’t want anyone else. I didn’t need this family that had never looked for me. I didn’t want to go out into their world only to find out I’m this damaged puzzle piece that doesn’t fit there anymore, my edges too rough.

“I’ve avoided him all these years. Trust me, I want to see him too.” He patted my shoulder, and I couldn’t stand to look at him—too much Kiromir in him.

“Why?”

“I thought I was protecting the Wildlings. They’re not like Wildlings at all. They all are too humanized, have lost their magic. I got pulled into their world and worked with Rolyn to keep us separate. Turns out she betrayed me the entire time. I was banished. Slowly the more I find out, the more I know she destroyed my life for her own selfish gain.” He buried the heel of his hand into one of his eye sockets, rubbing.

“You know, when it’s all said and done, you really should tell Kiromir. Nobody knows you’re banished.”

“I had a daughter outside of the Wildlings. I brought her to Rolyn initially. I begged her to take my daughter, to keep her safe, but she lost her, and by the time she found her way back, the damage was done. Even if she is whole and safe now, she’s pretty broken.” Revik blinked tears from his eyes. I vaguely recalled what the man with the star tattoo had said and felt over the book in my pocket.

“She ended up in a lab, like me, didn’t she?” I asked, and Revik lowered his head.

“Did she have red hair or green eyes?” I asked quietly, and Revik nodded. “The man who Rolyn gave us to talked about her, I think. I asked if they’d had any others like me, and he told me, ‘We’ve had another child before, another little girl with pretty green eyes and long red hair.’” Repeating that made me shudder. Revik blinked back tears.

“I’m going to have to retell these stories a fair few times in the coming days. Let’s wait until I have to. It hurts to talk about, you know?”

I don’t know why I did it. I felt awkward and embarrassed over the fever thing but seeing Revik there looking so sad made my heart break for him. I only recently started to learn what made a binding special, what a bondmate should be. I couldn’t imagine life forward without Gaff, and there Revik stood with hundreds of years ahead of him with no one. I crawled to the end of the couch, leaning over towards the chair he sat in. I reached my arms out and hugged around his shoulders as tight as I could manage.

“Do me a favor and like… don’t fight my aura for a second. I think I can help you.” He stiffened beneath my arms, and I let my oblivion start leaking free. I sometimes used it to take peoples’ minds off things, and I saw him fighting it at first, then slowly relaxing. You never know how strange it feels to cry and not know why until you are forced to forget. I let my aura ebb, and I pulled away as he regained his composure. Kiromir got so used to it that he had learned to fight it. It never even touched Gaff anymore. Revik, though, his eyes unfocused—dazed.

“I’m sorry, I….” His eyes blinked tears, and he cleared his throat.

“My aura makes people forget things and ignore me.” I toyed with the blanket on the couch as he regained his composure and remembered our topic.

“Thank you,” he finally said. I nodded, and he moved off towards the back door to get Gaffriel. It didn’t take me any time at all to realize we both avoided eye contact.