“So that’s what happened…” Nasa sipped on her tea. “My condolences, Ren-kun. You’ve been through a lot.”

I merely nodded tiredly. A humble person may have tried to deny it, but I had gone through a lot.

I stared at the amber liquid in the small ceramic cup I held in my hand before tipping it back and finishing everything in one go. The tea was smooth, slightly bitter, and didn’t taste very different from most teas, but the moment it entered my body I felt strangely revitalised.

Nasa smiled at me knowingly. Of course, she probably enchanted it or something.

My free hand was currently scratching behind the ears of a brown fox whose head was lying across my lap. Her eyes were closed, and she was sleeping contentedly, her tail swaying slowly back and forth.

Akira sat beside me, lost in thought. She had been quiet while I told Nasa my side of the story.

I sighed. “I knew uncle Joman was strong, but honestly, I never knew he was that strong.”

Akira finally looked up. “You said you were attacked by Tsuchimikado Joman-sama… and your parents and mentor were killed by him…?”

I nodded. “Yeah, why? Were you not attacked by him?”

Akira shook her head. “We were attacked by other Onmyoji.”

I groaned. This is bad.

“Does this mean we can assume that my uncle has a group of loyalists that’re strong enough to take down some of the bureau’s strongest warriors?” I asked.

Both Nasa and Akira nodded.

“Great.” I muttered.

“By the way, Nasa-san,” I turned to the elderly woman. “Have you ever heard of the twelve?”

Her smile faltered a little. “Yes, as a matter of fact I have.”

My eyes widened. A lead?

“If my theories are correct,” Nasa fixed an intent stare on me. “You are a Tsuchimikado. The most obvious relation to the number twelve amongst your clan would be your ancestor, Abe no Seimei.”

My eyes widened even more. “No way. I thought those were just legends?”

Nasa laughed and shook her head. “Very much the opposite. What your father has tasked you with, my boy, is to look for the twelve legendary shikigami of your ancestor Abe no Seimei. Toda, Suzaku, Rikugo, Kochin, Seiryu, Kijin, Tenko, Daion, Genbu, Taiko, Byakko, and Tenku.”

I couldn’t sleep that night.

Distracted, I ended up wandering to the back of the estate, where there was a koi pond. I watched the fish slowly move from one end to the other in a seemingly endless cycle.

“Mom, dad…” I whispered to nobody. “How do I even begin doing any of this?”

My eyes got wet as I talked and recalled the smiling faces of my parents.

“You’re troubled.” Soft pads could be heard behind me as Nasa approached.

I turned away, wiping my eyes dry and laughing sardonically. “It’s nothing much. Just realising that more and more impossible tasks are being thrown onto me.”

“Sarcasm is a good sign. It means you can still be humoured.” Nasa stood next to me, smiling at the koi pond. “All hope is not lost yet.”

I sighed. “I guess.”

“You…” Nasa seemed a little unsure of what words to use. “You’re a weird person.”

“Hm? Why do you say that?”

“You’ve given the people around you space and time to mourn,” She continued, before pausing and looking directly at me. “But not yourself.”

Her piercing gaze drilled right into me, and I averted my gaze.

“How’d you know?”

“When you’re as I am, you see many things.”

There was a soft glow coming from the woman, and I turned to see nine long wisps of white extending from her lower back, so bright they seemed to be ringed with gold. Just from the unfurling of her tails, she gave off a pressure so strong that my shoulders were pressed down even further. As I watched, the golden aura seemed to swallow her, and her slightly hunched figure straightened, growing taller, her white hair turning a vivid black, and the wrinkles on her face disappearing. With her slightly slanted eyes that were now a mismatch of violet and teal, and her high cheekbones, Nasa looked incredibly beautiful.

I was in disbelief at the elderly caretaker who had turned into a young woman. My eyes flit between her face and her tails. “You’re a nine-tailed kitsune?”

The woman nodded. “I can see the truths and actions of people just from the minute changes in their expression, in the way they lift a finger. Akira, though still mourning, was allowed the proper space and time, she was given the opportunity to grieve. By you. Yet, even as you comforted her, you gave yourself none of that space and time. I do not believe I have to tell you how that’s a bad thing?”

“You said it yourself, didn’t you?” I challenged, though my voice was unsure of itself. “I’m the clan head now. I don’t have the time nor the space to grieve. I have responsibilities, tasks to carry out.”

“And Akira doesn’t?”

I faltered. “She’s the last other member of the Tsuchimikado clan. I have to take care of her.”

Nasa sighed. “You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. A good leader knows how to let their retainers take care of them just as much as they know how to take care of their retainers.”

I chewed on her words. I was still far too inexperienced to understand what she was trying to tell me.

“I’ll leave you to decide on whether you want to give yourself the time and space you deserve, to grieve before you embark on your journey. But what I came to talk to you about wasn’t this.”

“Then what is it?” I asked, my words a little more blunt than I had wanted. “Sorry.”

Nasa vanished her tails, and then settled down next to me. “It’s about your kitsune.”

“Akiha?” I frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad.”

I relaxed a little at her words, but my guard was still up.

“That girl doesn’t know it, but… she’s the descendant of Kuzunoha. You know who that is, don’t you?”

“Abe no Seimei’s kitsune mother…” I answered.

“Your guardian spirit is part of a legendary lineage.” Nasa looked back out over the pond. “We Kitsune grow in appearance, maturity, and strength with our number of tails. To gain tails, we do things inherently natural to kitsune; by that I mean deception, trickery, even combat. The more we fight, the stronger we become, and the more we grow. That is how I am able to gain insight just from looking, and how I can take a human form of somebody up to eighty years of age.”

I was silent.

“Your kitsune, by the time she gains nine tails, purely because of the blood that runs in her veins, will be far stronger than I am.” Nasa placed a hand on my shoulder. “One word of warning. We Kitsune lose our powers and eventually die if we lose all our tails. Your kitsune is still only a one-tailed spirit. If she loses her tail now, she will lose herself.”

Akiha’s face flashed into my mind.

“Seeing as how you’re already pushing yourself to meet expectations nobody has placed on you,’ the older fox spirit took another jab at me. “I’m sure Akiha’s in safe hands.”

Unintentionally, I blurted out a question. “You say that you age with the number of tails you get. Does that mean that you’re able to take on a human form corresponding to that age whenever you want?”

“Why is this the concern you have?” Nasa sighed. “I wouldn’t count on myself to explain this, rather you’ll understand when your kitsune grows.”

Standing and turning to leave, Nasa gave me one last look, a small smirk on her lips. “You’ve grown rather attached to the girl, haven’t you?”

I looked away. “Not in that way. But, she’s been with me for eleven years, even if it was in the form of a paper talisman. I’d grown attached to that, and when she appeared…”

“For someone who’d just lost everything, someone who had grown attached to an unfeeling object for most of his life, and for that object to suddenly become something with feelings and a heart.” Nasa confirmed. “You don’t have to defend your feelings, Ren-kun. They’re valid as they are.”

“Thank you, Nasa-san.” I bowed my head towards the leaving fox spirit. “I swear to you, I’ll protect Akiha with my life.”

The woman slid a shoji screen open before chuckling. “Don’t be an idiot. That’s what she’s here for.”

Stepping into the house, Nasa left me to sit in the awkward aftermath of my own words.