I walked into the dining hall, having expected to be alone. There was no maid standing at the door, and the palace’s extension has been quiet. There were a few workers cleaning the halls, and there was some commotion in the kitchen about food shortage due to the rise in refugees. I was assured there were enough ingredients for Emily to cook, after learning about her past, I just decided I’d rather have a cook I knew with some experience.

Yawning in the middle of their explanation, I asked if the meal will be delivered to the dining hall and walked off. When I entered the dining hall, Iliana was sitting at the front of the middle table, on the right side. I made to walk further down the middle table and sit, but Iliana interrupted my stride.

Maggie was currently recovering from the effects of overusing the mana. The priest that looked her over informed us it would take at least 5 days for someone untrained in mana control to recover from her state. If she had used just a little more, her smaller bones would have been crushed, and the material her clothes were made of would have burned from the incinerating effects of the mana.

It was true that the heat emanating from her was uncomfortable, but could a person generate enough heat to burn clothing.

“Bona, I asked Aggie about our future. About...” She paused; I could tell she didn’t have the strength to say it. ‘About what we should do with you.’

If I could control the rhythm of the heart, it would have been calm, and collect. Yet, I felt empty in my chest, and I heard my erratic heartbeat pounding in my head. Why do girls have such power over men? Will this be a battle I fight constantly? Do I need to get them out of my life?

“Good. You two would be happier.” I said through the numbing pain. I imagined my lonely life, after I’ve gone through my second heartbreak, my life got lonelier. Yet, I didn’t care, sitting atop the snow, campfire crackling away, steak cooking on the coals, I didn’t care I was alone. Standing atop the frames of a cabin’s roof at a farm I was apprenticing at, getting ready to finish building the cabin I would live in for the rest of the season, I didn’t care that I had no one I cared about. Of course, there was the exception, my little sister, my mother, my friend, my pastor, and a handful of people at my church.

“What would you do?”

“Train, fight, kill, and work on getting you two back home.”

“I think you need to find…,” Iliana paused and breathed in slowly and said while exhaling, “a reason to live.” She stood up and walked out.

I sat at the nearest seat to me at the far-left table. I sat and ate alone, I sat and wondered about my family, about Revel, about my church. And I thought about Maggie, about what Iliana said, ‘a reason to live,’ I don’t know if I did. I had goals, but a reason to live?

To get my mind off the difficult question, I thought about something important, a bit of information I couldn’t get from Mirth yesterday.

During the training with Knight Freya, I noticed on the walk to the East field, the forests resided to our right, meaning that forest lies south. If what the Reverend says is true, that Terrarum is overrun by the monsters transported here from the actions of the Balance, are we in any danger.

I walked to that same East field after my breakfast and laid down staring at the moons and the sun. I listened to the wind driving away the heat, chilling me to the bone.

Are we at the southern border, or further inwards?

“Hey, Bona…” Iliana’s voice washed out my ponderings.

“Training alone?”

“No, I was looking for you, Aggie doesn’t want to listen to me anymore.”

“She denied you? Your request?” I sat up and looked towards the distant forest. For the first time, I heard the chirping of a bird, if I had to guess the song, it was reminiscent of a cardinal. The field had trees scattered about, and a fenced area for horses, maybe the bird has a nest in one of the nearby trees.

The fences were large, and tall. And the hove prints in the soil looked as if they belonged to an animal larger than a Kodiak Grizzly. The animal must have weighed at least 900 pounds.

Iliana sat down about 10 feet to my right, staring at the same forest.

“I asked her what it was she saw in you; I can’t understand her. You haven’t done a dang thing for us, why does she think so fondly of you? Just what kind of relationship did the two of you have back then?” Iliana began plucking the grass, it left a sour smell in the air strong enough to reach me.

“Beats me. She left me alone all the same.”

“Her reply was not exactly helpful.” A gust of wind blew her hair in a south eastern direction, hiding her face. If we were back on our old world, it would mean we were not in the united states anymore, the prevalent winds were Eastern here.

“Hmm, what’d she say?”

“She said, ’It’s something you have to see.’”

“Though I haven’t done any kind act worth seeing. So why exactly does she think so fondly of me?” I stood up with a grunt and started walking back to the palace, after a few steps I turned to look at Iliana sitting there in the late morning sun, looking towards the tree line. How can someone be so alluring? The vivacity of her character was precious, and the kindness innate in her was what stole my heart.

Iliana told me that Maggie had a good reason to believe in me, and I listened to her. If there was one kindness I’ve shown these two it’s that I’ve never silenced them. Except for when Iliana first awoke and sent a barrage of questions. Was that what Maggie saw, but she called me kind during our first normal conversation yesterday, so that can’t be it. At least it can’t be enough to keep insisting on me being kind, considering my actions.

“Bona, I can feel you staring at me from back there…,” I looked up at the purple sky, funny how you can be somewhere and not pick up on the biggest details, like an oddly colored sky.

Iliana continued after a few seconds pause.

“I want to believe in what my sister sees in you. Ha, I guess I want to believe in you too. Please Bona, be the man Maggie sees.”

“I wish I knew what you meant. I’ll see you later, Little Goose.” I tried hard to focus on my surroundings to avoid my feelings. But no matter how much I thought about the trees, the birds, the sky, the fence, it was still there, the erratic beating of a shattered heart, the cold feeling of being watchful for the signs that they will abandon me. I wanted them to be independent of me, but the heart their trying to piece together has a dominating presence.

I headed back and went to my room. Emily stated that she knew when I was back due to a felling in the mana. Mana is inherently easy to read unless it is hidden, and everyone working in the palace was taught to read it, some can extend the range further than the palace grounds, some can only go a few meters.

Emily’s family is from Terrarum and are currently living in the worker’s house, under a very sensitive contract. She is among the numerous new recruits hired here, back in Terrarum she worked at a restaurant. Sensing my strong connection, she was fearful I was arrogant and with her inexperience in being a maid, I would request a switch, and it eat away at her poise.

“Hey Emily, I need you in here!” I yelled into the hallway outside my room. Our conversation from last night was fruitful. I learned a lot about the situation in this palace, and though the circumstances were somber, I didn’t have any reason to fix any of it.

According to Emily, the new recruits were mainly from Terrarum, and took the job due to the free housing. The head butler Warren was among the refugees and took over after a year of working.

The people of Astrum were by nature kind and hospitable, which is the main reason for the food shortage. The citizens of Astrum were donating crops to helping the refugees, and trading supplies were fewer and fewer.

The people of Terrarum were more independent, and self-serving. Though it isn’t how they were raised, it was in the culture. Emily and a majority of the other refugees, according to her, were of a different cloth than Warren, though most were from the same city, and fled at the same time.

Warren was a soldier in Terrarum, and had ties with the nobility, he warned the people about The Balance tipping the scales of the kingdom into chaos and led the escape into Astrum. Warren had given the workers an ultimatum, work nearly every hour of the day with little rest, or your housing will be revoked.

Warren himself did not do laborious work, he lived in the building, claiming to be planning the schedule of what is important to accomplish on the grounds. A lot of the workers were given a free supplement from Warren that helped ward off the tiredness, but Warren soon started charging for it, making a profit. I assumed that profit was the reason for the long hours. It seemed Warren still had ties giving him aid in his endeavors.

When Mirth was made known to this, Warren had arranged things through his connections to make what he was doing legal, leaving Mirth’s hands tied. There were questions to how a foreigner could gather such a large network, and who he really was. Did Emily know he was a soldier personally? Still, I sought no involvement.

I decided to help Emily as she was my assistant, and her health affected her servitude. During the day, I would call her into my room, she would undress in the bathroom, wear one of the t-shirts and pants given to me and sleep in my bed for a bit while I studied at the desk.

I didn’t care if the other workers thought I was using her for pleasurable means, and it seems that after forcing Emily to agree to it, she didn’t care either. She was fast asleep, her face nearly planted into the wall, her hair laid messily across her face and the bed.

Could you call staring a sleeping girl studying? I guess. I have to ask Mirth about books, and study materials. If he was willing to speak to me.

Four days had passed since Maggie was bedridden. Iliana has visited her daily, bringing her food and conversations. There have been no signs of the Reverend, or Freya, Emily has been getting enough rest to function without paying for any supplements from Warren, and I have been practicing my martial arts.

There really has not been any action since arriving here, though battles are commonplace in fantasy stories, it seems we were in the calm before the storm.

It would be three more days till Knight Freya makes her return to begin training us again.

Up at 7am, I walked into the dining hall to see Iliana sitting in the far-right corner reading. She had managed to get a book and was studying something. Figuring she was sitting far away for a reason, I sat at the front of the middle table.

Emily walked in bringing a meal she had made at my request with what little ingredients was available. Again, I wondered about our location, were we so far from other cities that our trade routes took longer to deliver goods?

I gave Emily an order to sit across from me and decided to ask her. I avoided it thinking that the Reverend, or Knight Freya may show up in time to give a more helpful explanation.

“Em, what city was close by again?”

“The city of Capella. Is something bothering you?”

“Yeah, the forests by the field, it’s to our south. Do you know if Capella is a southern city? Would explain why there are so many Terrarum refugees here.”

“Oh, Terrarum has become…, I think your concerns are based on good assumptions Warrior Bona, but Terrarum’s borders have been put under strict guard. I am happy you have asked for my knowledge, but perhaps the word of Knight Freya would be more assuring.”

“She hates my guts, I think. Still, where are we?”

“Ah, yes. Capella is the closes city to the Terrarum border. Now, Capella has shut out all non-Astrum citizens due to capacity.”

“How is someone determined a citizen?”

“Have you heard about the First Adventurer’s legacy?”

“I have heard of his story. Are you asking about the legacy of how the people here came to use mana?” Emily looked at me like a slow student, she had a patient smile and thought about how to reply.

I heard the distant sound of a chair scrapping the stone floor and turned to look at Iliana pushing her seat back in and picking the book up off the table. She walked out the double doors on the Southern wall, through the small gap, I saw a field of grass. I assume it was an outdoor eating area, I cannot blame her, concentration is an easy thing to lose, and she probably was not too fond of me, even if she wanted to believe in me.

Emily was looking in Iliana’s direction as well, then turned to me with a concerned look on her face.

“Warrior Bona, I am afraid you have much to learn. Yet, you care not to do so.”

“Em, why are you speaking so boldly? Frankly, I don’t see you as a servant, or an assistant, you’re just another life. If you don’t annoy me, please speak freely. Where I come from all life is equal.” I said slowly.

“I have taken too much of your time, please enjoy your meal. And if I can ask a request of you, visit Warrior Maggie. Warrior Iliana has urged me to speak to you about the matter. She believes I can convince you. I think she may misunderstand my absence from my post…” Emily began to blush and shook her head. “I will be outside the doors if you need me.”

The current food situation here was that eggs were abundant, veggies were relatively available, and meat was scarce. Emily had mixed chopped veggies into eggs to make an omelet, which is something famous in Terrarum. After my meal, I decided to head back to the eastern field to train.

I have gotten to a point where my punches, my kicks, and even my motions into different stances use a bit of the mana in the air. My punches are amplified, my kicks can send a strong gust of wind, my motions were faster, and the mana would form a silhouette of where my body would be. It was as if I was following a shadow that was doing the stances a few seconds ahead of me.

In an experiment, I stood by a tree and assumed the stances, when the blue mana silhouette hit the tree, it caved the tree in, and my arm was there a second later feeling no pain, or impact.

I could only get in 10 minutes of training before I felt heavy, and hot. I see why Knight Freya stated that very little people used mana in combat. If this was a real fight, 10 minutes may not be enough. If I am restrained by a gravitational force, and uncomforted by an intense heat, then I am at a major disadvantage.

Yet, when I first incorporated mana in my training, it was almost within the first 3 minutes that the effects kicked in, in a short time, that amount has risen by almost 300%. I assume progress will slow as I continued but having mana as a backup in a long battle is a viable option.

The day before our next training session, I decided to visit Maggie. She was still bedridden, 6 days in. Emily slept in my bed, blanket covering her feet, her face nearly an inch into the wall, her arms crossed her chest, and her presence in dreamland. While sitting at my desk, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to do as Iliana asked.

Finally making up my mind, I walked out my room and briskly walked towards Maggie’s room.

“Jewelry, open the door, quickly.” Julie looked at me, her eyes looked distant, after a second of processing, she realized I made a request to her and quickly opened the door.

“Sorry for the intrusion, Warrior Maggie, Warrior Bona urgently needs to see you.” Julie stepped aside as I walked in.

“Wake up Maggie, I think I’ve got something to say to you.” The sconces were on, and Maggie laid in bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Ugh, you better not tell me it’s late September and you really ‘ought to be in school.”

“Well…, I can’t now, can I?” I grabbed the chair at her desk and brought it beside her bed. She looked well, the room smelled of stir-fried veggies, and she had a book on the bedside drawer.

“How are you, Busy Bee?” I asked her stonily.

Maggie sat up and leaned against the right wall, swinging her legs over the bed.

“I feel fine physically…, But I just don’t feel up to doing anything. I just, don’t feel…,” she had confusion written on her face, and tilted her head before saying questionably, “good?”

“That’s understandable. You experienced something that isn’t normal to us, worst, it’s our most powerful weapon. To know it cannot be used freely makes it seem dangerous to even touch. But it isn’t our only weapon, right?”

“Yeah. Bona, did you really tell Knight Freya that life had no value? Or was I hallucinating that?”

“Yes. And I meant it. She seemed to wonder why I didn’t rush over to you when you were under the effects of overusing mana. I gave her a proper answer.”

“Hmm, you know what’s a good weapon? Allies, friends, people who are willing to fight beside you. I know you went through some tough situations; you must of, someone as kind as you were couldn’t become…, this without good reason. But learn to accept people, if not, at least relearn manners to a degree.” Maggie smiled and shook her head, as if she stated something extremely obvious.

“I want to know, what is it that you see in me? Maggie, I haven’t done anything kind for you, yet you seem to see something worth getting hurt over.” Maggie looked down at her lap, then scooted to the edge of her bed, and sat in front of me. The chair was 2 feet from the bed, she leaned in and in the glowing light of the sconces, she had a slight smile, her green eyes glistened, and her hair covered a part of her face.

“First, tell me why Knight Freya went through the trouble to learn all about the human bones and cells?”

“To save her mom.”

“That’s right, to save one life. Can you imagine how long it must have taken her to learn all of that. How did she learn all of that? This world is pretty primitive, how could someone here learn enough about small cells, and bones to be able to combat old age?” Maggie backed off, sitting straight up with a hand on her slim chin, and rubbing the hair out of her face with the other hand.

“It’s rather simple, ain’t it. Textbooks, university, a couple of hours on WebMD. I don’t think there’s anything weird about it.”

“Learn to sound sarcastic, I can’t tell if your just being an idiot, or are an idiot. Idiot.”

“Yeah, now that you bring it up, I realize how weird it seems, how incredulous it is. You need microscopes, and advanced machinery to learn about cells, and bones. I can’t believe I didn’t think about that before. Maybe I should go on a journey of the mind and lay in bed for 6 days straight.”

“Bona, I just want you to know, I wish you understood more.” Her voice started breaking, “Bona, I was in so much pain…, I felt so alone…, I-I wish it wasn… just. Just Illy, I….”

“Maggie, I don’t know if I’m what you need.” She was rubbing her eyes and started sniffling. I went to reach out a hand but pulled it back before she noticed.

“I’m sorry, I know you can’t, not…,” She hyperventilated, “Not yet. So, what do I see? Bona, you think you hide it well, don’t you?” She hyperventilated again, resting her hands against her face, rubbing her eyes with her middle fingers.

“Really, why pause? You know I’m not gonna know what you’re getting at when your so vague.” I said with a crooked smile, she looked up at me with wet eyes, and another tear made its way down her cheek.

“Your facial expressions. Bona, the first time I saw your façade break, the first time I saw that your core wasn’t fully cloaked in darkness, my heart skipped a beat. You looked at us, like our father did when we were in our rebellous phase. A love that surpasses all malice. Though, I agree with Illy, I had no clue of the pain we caused you, but to see that expression, even briefly, I know I need that kind of love in this messed up world.” Her eyes never left mine, what she said was absolute.

My face was warm, my eyes welled up, but I reminded myself that this will not last.

“When was the first time you saw it?” I flinched from the numbing in my chest, but pushed myself to forget my emotions.

“Ha, that’s a secret, wouldn’t want you to know when and realize when your façade is breaking. It’s fun seeing those moments when you’re fighting with yourself. ‘Oh, should I be good, nah, I’ma be mister pissy pants.’” Maggie deepened her voice in mockery.

“I see, you sadistic witch.” I stood up and put the chair back at the desk.

“I hope you saw it today Maggie. See you at tomorrow’s training.” I looked back at her and waved. She scooted back and leaned against the wall waving back.

“Yeah, get ready to learn to beat some asses.” Maggie had a little throat laugh, and a big smile that reached her eyes. She turned to look down at her lap again, and I thought I saw her mouthing the words, “thank you for visiting me.”

I probably imagined it, I thought as I walked out the room, closing the door behind me.