《No Face, No Life》009
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Reiko-chan turned to the man before glancing towards me. She took the man’s arm. “Reiko, what does this pathetic man mean to you?” he asked, pinning me in place. They’re on a FIRST NAME BASIS... of course...
“Nothing. He’s a fool. Don’t concern yourself with him,” Reiko-chan dismissed me.
“He looks dangerous,” the man commented.
“Don’t worry about him. I know him best. He’ll run crying.” Reiko-chan drew him away. Finally, he nodded and turned his somewhat cold smile on her. She was right. It wasn’t for the reasons she thought, probably. She didn’t punch me or kick me or throw me, nor did she stomp on me repeatedly as she used to do when pissed off. I wasn’t sure if her behavior meant our friendship was truly ended. Emotionally, at least, she’d demolished me.
I didn’t hear much about her over the next few days. Her mother explained later that because of the actions I took at the amusement park, Reiko-chan’d discovered our arrangements. Her mother wasn’t yet willing to cut ties with me, because she’d met the man with cold eyes.
“Susumu!” her mother begged me. “Call her! Plead with her! I don’t know what she sees in him. There’s something about him. Whatever it is makes me so nervous... I can’t change her mind about him. She won't see reason.”
I disconnected, happy that her mother had cast her lot with me. I did as she asked, and tried to call Reiko-chan directly for the first time in a while. Unfortunately, she refused to pick up. The worry in her mother’s voice filled me with anxiety. This wasn't the first time she’d told me she never wanted to see me again, but I hoped that perhaps if I kept calling, she’d get annoyed enough to answer. Finally, the messages changed. Whereas before I’d heard it go to voicemail instantly, it was abruptly replaced with a notice of disconnection.
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Reiko-chan’s mother called me soon after. She explained that she’d been cut off by her daughter and further, she’d disconnected her number so I couldn’t ever contact her again. Reiko-chan was furious with her for informing me about her actions and more so at me. The only way to patch things up was to agree to never do it again.
“Take care of yourself, Susumu. Thank you for trying,” her mother said as she hung up.
Ever afterwards, I lost faith that things would work out. I threw myself into my work with abandon. It was all I had left. I’d done everything to help Reiko-chan and earn her love, to no avail. Losing to the cold man was very painful.
I tried to change my priorities, considering using my saved money to move into a larger and better apartment. I could go out to eat, or theatres, or amusement parks, but no matter where I’d go I’d be alone and mistrusted. Not even a trip to an onsen or travelling the world would redeem my enthusiasm towards life.
I accepted that despite how cold the man was, she’d marry him and consequently find happiness. Besides, she had everything on track. She’d get her dreams. The next time I’d see her probably would be on television. She wanted to be a reporter. She was motivated, had the looks and the grades. I knew she’d be alright without me. She had a level of strength that would frighten a titan when she was upset. She’d be dismantling him every day instead of me.
I couldn’t help hating that man for this fact. He had everything I wanted and could never have. Reiko-chan was an amazing catch, so beautiful and talented.
A work day came which was particularly rough. I’d started worrying sick over Reiko-chan, wondering how the couple were doing. I knew I’d die alone, but acceptance doesn’t mean you don’t suffer. I went home early, not feeling well. Something bothered me for days. My sleep wasn’t particularly restful. I felt raw due to being shut out and forgotten.
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