We walked around a corner to where Akuchi was waiting. Her door slid open for us. I looked at it, and after entering, I sniffed the air inside. It didn’t smell strange. I thought there might have been a strange odor, but it smelled like a new vehicle.

The com activated. “Susumu-sama! Please take the driver’s seat!” She rocked from side to side. “Susumu is inside me! It’s a wonderful feeling!”

Oh... creepy... I blinked.

“We’re going to Natalia’s store,” Rui commanded, bunny hopping into the driver’s seat.

“D-Damn it!” Akuchi yelled over the intercom.

“Stop complaining! Get going! Do you know where her store is?” Rui swatted the steering wheel firmly repeatedly. When she didn’t respond quickly enough, Rui started messing with the radio, jamming her fingers into the tape deck that for some reason Akuchi was equipped with.

“Hyaaaa! I don’t!” Akuchi jostled back and forth. She might capsize, as much as she was leaning and jumping.

“I’ll do it.” Natalia held a pole firmly as the bus rocked. “I can drive, you know.”

“I want Susumu-sama!” Akuchi threw a tantrum, turning the scenery into a motion theatre. The windows showed a terrifying scenario. And Oni calls ME a drama queen?

“Please, just bear with it, Akuchi!” I exclaimed, clinging to pole as I closed my eyes. My stomach acid started churning. We jostled left and right as goths went flying from their seats. “Damn, it! Akuchi! I’m going to vomit! Please stop this!”

Akuchi pouted. “Get into the first seat!”

A goth suddenly vomited. Akuchi stopped and shook, reconsidering. “I’m going to vomit…” Rui cried dramatically.

“I’m going to be sick… oh my poor dress…” Natalia-sama faked a fainting spell.

“I’ll hurl right now.” Ume poofed and turned into a large bat, flying all around the inside of Akuchi.

Every single goth chimed in all together to proclaim they’d sick up, and promptly one actually did.

“UWAAAA! F-fine... You owe me special attention, Susumu! I’m your fated husband!” The windows cleared. HUSBAND? HELL NO!

“Akuchi! I don’t want a freaking..." I yelled, furiously. Rui clapped her hand over my mouth after leaping off a seat to wrap her legs around my back. She held my mouth tightly and leaned to whisper.

“Think more, Susumu. Akuchi is helpful.” She shushed me. “We’ll find a way to rein him in later. He’ll be my servant too!” She squeezed me so tightly I thought my head might pop off my neck. “Got it?”

I nodded and laughed weakly. “Yeah, maybe you’ll rule the world too.”

“Eh? I’m not interested in something dull like that!” Rui swatted my head. “Let’s work hard to make my ancestors proud! Together, we’ll be the best detectives ever! Greater than even my parents!”

“Your dreams are marvelous!” Ume grinned and embraced Rui midair. The weight of the two unbalanced me. I fell over. “Kyaaaaaaa!” we screamed as we went down.

“Let’s go!” Natalia-sama cried cheerfully, putting her foot down on the gas. Akuchi exploded into action.

We struggled to our feet. The goths rushed to help Ume-chan up and Rui while as a bonus. I stood on my own, since they ignored me. “Rui…” I sighed as I asked, “Why are we going to Natalia-sama’s store? If we’re going for clothes, there are only girls clothes there. I suppose Natalia-sama could make me something with her many amazing talents... but I hope she doesn’t put a huge advertisement on whatever she makes for me.”

Rui grinned up at me. “Well, that’s because you’re going to wear girls clothes again!”

My eyes bugged out. “Wh-what? Why?” I drew away from her. She was in oni-mode again.

She rolled her eyes. “With a face like that, it’d be a shame to waste it. To be the best bait you can be, we’ll make you look as close to Reiko-chan as possible! She was tall, but not quite so tall as you. At a distance, you look nearly the same. Who knows, maybe he’ll welcome you openly. If he lets you into his confidence, we won’t need to besiege his stupid-ass tower. When you get close, give him a trademark kick to his balls from me. You can let him know it was my technique and command after he passes out.”

“How could anyone mistake me for..." I blinked. People already had mistaken me for a girl.

“Very easily,” Ume purred. “We’ll all make sure you look perfect.”

“This dress looks wonderful, Natalia!” Ume grinned. “I think another goth dress would be nice, but this one looks nice too!”

I looked at myself in the mirror of the dressing room. For some reason, all the girls were in with me. The blush staining my cheeks made me look even more feminine. The dress was shimmery, and peach in color. It was shoulderless and strapless. There were obvious problems, though. I had no breasts. My legs were a bit hairy. I looked like a poor Reiko-chan. The shaggy hair standing out in my armpits further demolished the illusion.

I turned to Akuchi to beg. “You do it! You look like a better girl than I ever could!”

She grinned broadly. “I hoped you’d ask for my help again!” She poofed into a perfect clone of Reiko-chan without any obvious flaws. Her hair was now far longer than Reiko-chan’s and she was a bit taller. Compared with Akuchi, I was an ultra tomboy-version of Reiko-chan. Her build was subtly different too, but that made little difference.

“That’s not a bad plan.” Rui tapped her lips. “But you know, you’ll be transporting us to the tower. Will you have the energy for this too?”

“Oh, yes! I’m determined to be useful to Susumu-sama!” Akuchi bounced. In fact, her breasts bounced. She would make far better bait for a man’s attention than I.

“There’s another problem here..." Natalia-sama frowned and pointed at my face. “There are two girls who look almost the same. She didn’t have a twin, did she?”

I winced and nodded. “As far as I know, no. Well, what can we do? I guess I could wear a bag over my head. I can’t see through things anymore!”

“You could see through things? Intriguing!” Ume grinned. “That would be a useful skill. If you’d put your face close to someone’s clothes, would you have been able to see through their clothes like you had x-ray vision?”

My eyes widened. “I... I don’t know! I’d never do anything like that!” I wish I tried it when I had the chance. N-no! That’s bad! My morals gave that thought a hard ‘no’. I blushed again intensely.

“Fufufu... that wonderful smell again.” Ume sniffed the air and purred.

“You just love to make Susumu blush, don’t you?” Rui accused.

“Of course. I really do!” Ume embraced me tightly, pressing her breasts against me. I blushed again, so much I felt I’d faint.

“This room is a sugar sauna! It smells like sugar cookies, fresh from the oven!” Ume declared, snuggling.

“If his blood is so sweet, maybe he’s borderline diabetic,” Rui pointed out.

“No! He’s mine!” Akuchi hugged me tightly, squishing those breasts up against me far more than I was comfortable with.

“K-Kyaaaaa!”