A huge metal monstrosity crashes through the door, taking out chunks of the wall with its hulking frame. Shit! I bolt down the hallway away from the beast, pumping my legs for all they’re worth. For a moment, I think I might survive this. Then my foot slips.

I skid on the pool of blood left by the young guard, cursing that damn archer all the way through the slip ‘n slide. I roll as one of the metal spike balls shoots out, splintering the floor where I had been just a moment ago. I don’t want to be part of the next mystery meat soup, thank you very much. I flip onto my feet, blinking sweat out of my eyes.

The thing lumbers forward, hissing with steam exhaust. At least it’s slow. It looks to be a security golem, and a high end model too. Unfortunately for me, some serious Fae magic went into this thing. I should seriously reevaluate my life choices.

Equipped with launchable and retractable flails for hands, durable metal plating, and a desire to kill whatever comes near, it has its sights set on me. Fantastic.

I jump to the right as one of its hands shoots toward me, rolling to avoid the second attack. I come out of my roll close to the golem, slicing at one of the gaps in its armor plating. The blade of my weapon snaps with an earsplitting shriek. The golem looks down at me with blank eye sockets and I flash it a smile.

“I don’t suppose you would consider letting me go?” A large metal foot crashes into my chest as an answer, sending me flying through the hallway. Damn Baerus and his cheap ass weapon forge. Why can’t he ever make a durable weapon? If I live, I’m going to have serious words with that hairy little beast.

My body slams into the metal wall on the opposite end of the hallway with a resounding crack. I can practically feel my vertebrae trying to shoot out of my back. Alright, that one hurt. But so did the one before that. And, well…all of them. With a groan, I make my way to my feet, leaning on one of the walls for support.

“Is that—” I cough and lift my mask slightly, spitting blood onto the floor. “The best you have?” I bend my knees a few times, lowering my mask. The golem doesn’t give me a break, shooting one of its giant flails in my direction. I barely dodge the metal ball, feeling one of its spikes graze my side. The golem is already launching its second flail hand when I roll, denting the wall behind me. Without pause, it’s first hand locks into place. Oh come on!

The deadly ball rockets in my direction while I race forward, sliding on my knees underneath it. I sling my kusarigama’s chain around the golem’s hand in less than a blink. I may not be able to hurt this thing, but it can hurt itself!

I yank on the careening flail with all my fading strength while I stand. For that one second, I strain, trying with all my might to pull the flail towards the golem. The cords in my neck press out against my skin, the veins in my arms nearly burst with the pressure. The flail finally submits and I dive back down as it sails through the air over me. I look up from the dusty ground in time to see the golem’s head crushed in a torrent of metal-on-metal action, annihilated by its own hand. Ha! Right in its stupid. Metal. Face.

“Timber!” While I pick myself off the floor, the golem falls back through the hole it created, and the metal vault door gleams behind it. Take out giant security golem? Check. I take a moment to catch my breath, rubbing my bruised ribs gingerly, comforted by the sound of my breath slowing down, and the sound of rapid beeping. No, wait. Rapid beeping isn’t part of my normal bodily functions. Red light blinks up at me from the security golem and I sigh.

“You can’t just make this easy on me, can you?” The light blinks faster in response. “Ah hell.” I race down the hallway, diving around a corner as a blast of heat and shrapnel flies past me. The wave of pressure sends me flying down the corridor, singeing the hair on my neck. I land with a very unpleasant squishing feeling amongst the cooling corpses. Slowly, I pick myself up, ears ringing, slipping on clammy flesh and oozing entrails. “No, don’t get up, I got this.” I push myself up, shuffling back down the hall with a limp. I’m going to be sore in the morning. My foot catches on a piece of shrapnel and I hiss through my teeth. Yeah, definitely sore tomorrow.

I kick my way through the metal remains of the golem, cursing every self-destruct feature ever made. My weapons have been completely vaporized in the blast, which is going to dip into my payment. I hate constantly buying new weapons. On the bright side, the blast ripped the vault door straight off.

My limping, aching body protests as I stumble through the smoking wreckage of the vault, clutching the steaming metal doorway. The vault holds only one thing. Fortunately for my bank account, it looks to be intact. I gingerly pick up a roll of paper, unfurling it and giving it a glance. It looks to be a map with one destination circled. That looks very important. For a moment, I consider my options. Do I take the map for myself? Or return it to my employer? Option three it is! I quickly rip the map in half and stuff the circled section into my pocket. My employer wanted a map, he’ll get one. Or, well, half. It’s better than nothing, right?

I stumble out of the vault, running a hand through my hair. I really hope Naiomi got that shower fixed. Rounding the corner, I retrace my steps out of the complex. Get highly prized item of untold importance for wealthy employer? Check. Scam said employer for more money and possibly gain untold riches with the important half of the map? Double check. Some safes are meant to be cracked, some rules are meant to be broken, and really, some people are just meant to be conned. That’s life in Malor. Crime, piss, and mystery meat pies. That’s home.