Donyoku's trunk touches my forehead. I have an instant, a mere second, to decide which one I need to give him. I frantically pull a memory from my mind, and it shines like a projection over the fire pit.

I keep my eyes closed, watching the same scene as Ghelly, every feeling as vivid as the day I was there.

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I slipped past the trees near the laundry building, listening to the murmuring voices intently. It was early morning, but I was always up before the sun. My haori flapped as I ran across the wet dew covering the yard, my kosode loose around my body. I circled to the doors of the building, peeking through the crack.

It smelled of many blossoms, as it always did. It reminded my father of my mother, of whom I was told many stories. She was the blossom princess, and my father wanted to feel like she was always with him, even in her absence. My burns itched, as they always did before a storm.

Hoderi and Hoori always told me not to be sneaking around like a child, though we were triplets, and they were every bit of a child as I was. I leaned in closer to catch the servant's gossip.

"Remarkable, isn't he?"

"Oh, Hosuseri? I know!" I beamed in pride at the mention of my name.

"Isn't he courageous? If I were him, I would have slit my wrists by now." My smile fell.

"It's a shame he didn't die in the fire. A waste to lose one of Amaterasu's great-grandchildren, to be sure. But it would've been preferable to the toll it has taken on his father and mother."

"We're just lucky that his brothers are such prodigies. I don't know how the master does it, dealing with the boy's mistakes." My hands trembled at my sides, and my breathing was erratic. How could they say these things? I didn't ask for this.

"Slitting his wrists would be so drastic. Drowning would be the way. So peaceful." One of them snorted.

"Can you imagine the irony? Born in fire, death in water."

"Sounds like a prophecy."

"There are no prophecies about nameless gods. His father has already denied him a place. Despite his love for the boy, he knows in his heart Hosuseri will never be heir to the throne."

I put too much of my weight on the door, and stumbled in the room. Three servants stopped folding laundry, looking at me in shock. The two men gripped the clothes harder, while the woman quickly put on a smile.

"Hello there, my little lord! What are you doing here?" I glared at her, and I could see in her eyes she was afraid of my childish face. Covered in burns and scars, twisted in anger, and red with embarrassment. She made a sign on herself to warn off demons.

Was that what I was? How they saw me? Just a disfigured oni, a bane to family and subjects alike?

"Why would you say that?" I whispered, coming closer. "I haven't done anything to you. Why would you say that?" The men stood closer together, their faces becoming still.

"There was no harm in it, my lord. Idle gossip," the woman tried to explain.

"You wished me dead! Don't think I can't hear!" I choked back tears, my throat burning. "I know what you whisper at night. I hear it in the halls and your hearts. I know what you truly think of me."

"We would never—" Anger boiled over at that moment, and I felt my skin heat up like fire. Every movement of my body, every beat of my heart, filled me with poisonous rage. How could a child feel like this? Think of such unspeakable things? Only a demon would feel this way.

"Don't lie to me!" I snarled, stepping forward. The woman looked down in shock at the small blade protruding from her stomach. I took a stumbling step back, the blade grasped firmly in my shaking hand.

What... what did I just do? No, no! I didn't mean to! It wasn't me, I swear!

"We have no choice," one man whispered to the other. They both nodded. They rushed towards me and I dropped the dagger, tumbling backwards.

"Stop!" They looked up, appearing confused. It was easy to see why: it looked like two identical boys stood there, though with different armaments. One held a drawn bow, and the other a weighted net.

"Oh little brother, what have you gotten yourself into this time?" Hoderi asked, squatting down next to me. I was younger by two minutes, perhaps; he never let me forget. He looked from the dead servant to Hoori, and sighed. "No witnesses, baby brother." Hoori nodded and released two arrows in succession, quick as lightning.

The men stumbled back, dead, before I could gasp. "No!" I shouted, lunging forward. Hoderi grabbed and yanked me back by my hair. Hoori's hands grabbed my shoulders and they wrestled me to my feet, tossing me toward the doors.

"Come, brother. We must tell father," Hoori said, slinging his bow around his shoulder.

"As usual, we'll clean up your mess." Hoderi looked down at me. I would have understand if it was contempt, but it was nothing. A cold void. He and Hoori left. After I wiped my nose, I followed them, trying to wipe the blood off my hands.

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I suck in a deep breath and rock back, my vision swimming. The last moments of the memory fade like ethereal vapor from over the fire pit. Donyoku opens his eyes and licks his gray lips.

"It has been some time since I have seen your first kill. I deem your tribute worthy," he says and dips his head. "I will be back momentarily to guide you to the Dream Realm." He shifts his bulk up and sways out of the room.

Ghelly is speaking as soon as we hear rustling from one of the other rooms. "What was that? Was that you? I thought your name was Namonai? What happened? How did he do that? What—" I cover his mouth with my hand to silence him. After a moment I remove it, pleased to see the paste has finally dried and didn't come off on his lips; that would have been awkward. More awkward than him watching a surreal memory from my past? Hard to tell.

"I can give you a few answers later. But you can't tell anyone else about this, do you understand me?" Ghelly pauses for a moment, tapping the hilt of his sword.

"So do I call you Hosuseri or Namonai?" he asks. Good question, young man.

"Just what you've been calling me."

Ghelly grins. "I don't think you'll like what I've been calling you behind your back." I sigh, shaking my head.

"I've heard worse."

Donyoku waltzes back into the room and sits down, setting incense alight. He looks from me to Ghelly, and then begins to murmur. It must be strange for Ghelly; this will be his first time. The practice is old and familiar to me, with the swirling smoke and low rumbling in Donyoku's throat. His trunk and paws swaying in unison, our eyes drifting closed, weariness setting in. I will have to keep Ghelly right by my side in the Dream Realm. It's not...it wouldn't be...safe...I have to...by me...