《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Meat the Cannibals
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The capital city of the kingdom sat enshrined in marble, ivory and whole blocks made of Ninth crystals. Capital City spanned enough ground to house 20 million, causing ugly machines to be needed everywhere in order to harness the energies needed to keep society running with human ingenuity. One of the Queen's main hobbies was covering up the harsh metal power stations that spat out smog, a reminder that humanity still had not evolved enough. She would soon be set everything up with the latest art trends. She sat on her throne looking out at her three sons playing under the same number of planets; plotting in order to stay one step ahead of everyone else.
The king was coming in hot as his aircraft descended into the royal hangar with his inner circle at his side. The magma crystals keeping them up in the air were slowly snuffed out as they descended to the ground. Snaggy gripped the railing turning white, as the Bootlickers hugged each other on the floor in fear. One princess, her name father had long forgotten, was waiting outside and she had her arms crossed. The king was now in fear as they slammed down on the cobble runway with a bang.
“Daddy dearest,” said the princess watching her father hobble off the aircraft, as he was mending a leg joint.
“What do you want now?” grunted king Mardin.
“Let's eat lunch together you must be starving” said the Princess now latched on.
“Alright,” grumbled the King as they headed for the royal sushi bar.
As they reached the door a high-ranking knight blocked the path with the blue salute.
“Yes?” asked the king.
“Sire” the Queen has requested you at once.
“Very well I'm sorry my dear royal duties must be done” said Maldin as he left, followed by Snaggy and the Bootlickers in tow.
“What an asshole” grumbled the princess under her breath.
King Mardin the 4th bowed gently in front of Queen Elizibethy 6. Since she was the 6th Elizibethy and he was only the 4th Mardin, she ruled over him.
“I hear bad news” hissed the queen.
“Yes, well it was a successful evacuation,” cried the King.
“I didn’t marry much of a warrior huh” she spoke in a condescending tone as the King lowered his head in obeisance.
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“We will rebuild and restock as always your majesty,” he said softly.
“Of course, we will just mine up another million or so crystals with our slaves in the mines so we can give to anyone who wants to take them with little resistance” Elizibethy said getting up from her throne.
The king shook looking away as she ran at him, before slapping him across the face with a dead bat.
Meanwhile, far away on the train steaming towards Capital City, Prince Edward was drunk. His band, the Death Drag Piercers, was all set up to play a show for any of the harem members on board who had decided to attend the royal dinner car's performance taking place on the small stage.
“Come on Edward, you can do it” yelled one fangirl.
“I'll be right back. I just need a snack first” Edward said.
The band left the stage leaving their instruments as the last man announced that they would be right back. The five men dressed in the most cutting-edge fashion garments strode out of the train car to the next. Nancy was last to a metal door behind with a loud clicking lock.
The kitchen car was currently staffed with the prince Edwards payroll. The top chiefs from the Crazin region worked away, cooking their traditional dish.
“Yasham, I'm so hungry I could eat you up” said the drunk Prince, biting his next victim's neck playfully.
A man in a white apron with marks of the crystals tattooed thick over his face wheeled in the autopsy bed from the freezer car. As Nancy unzipped it to distract herself from strong jealous emotions. Under the blanket she lifted was a muscular soldier who had been slain in battle. Instead of rotting away in a field his magnificent body was preserved in ice crystals so cold they caused instant frostbite if handled without proper gloves.
“Oh, I'll be borrowing this one” Nancy cackled.
“Googa Zambino” she cried, knocking over the cook and stabbing her zombie crystal in the corpse's eye.
The dead man was awake.
“Enough! Out with you and your corpse Nancy at once. You can eat his flesh raw in your room all alone when the spell wears off” yelled Edward as his former girlfriend stormed out with her new dead lover.
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“Ah yes well no worries we've got one in the oven nice and tenderly almost done” yelled the head chief helping up his fallen subordinate.
All the cannibals gathered as a coffin-like baking pan was taken out of the oven by two more tattooed Crazins with huge mitts on their arms and placed onto a platform of gold. As the cover was lifted off and taken away by the cooks, succulent smells wafted out temping the patience of the waiting hungry cannibals.
“With every feast we grow closer to the crystals,” said Yasham.
The torches on the walls flickered as the cannibals began their feast. Ripping and tearing off the tender arms and feet and biting with their sharpened crystal modified teeth now indestructible. Three bodies had been cooked and were now devoured with blood turned to gravy.
"Alright the show is back on schedule ladies and gentlemen give it up for the baddest band in all the land DDP" said the Slyman conductor before leaving the stage.
Edward was the lead singer, bassist and triangle player, while Cap played keys, Durner played guitar, and Roger played percussion. Cap and Roger started playing the intro chords to their latest hit single. This was a public service event broadcasting live audio by communication crystal on the rear train car with a large antenna.
“YEEEEAAAAH, YEAAH, YEAAH!” Edward crooned in a grungy voice as the distorted guitar joined in with electrified riffing.
The small crowd began to clap, and the bar picked up more sales. The set lasted a half hour before the guys were backstage relaxing all except Edward who paced his private dressing room finishing off another drink.
“The only thing I want above all the others is what I cannot have. Ah the paradox of man” he sighed to himself.
The pale white male in gloomy fashion checked himself over for defects in front of the mirror. He made up his mind to visit his ex-girlfriend. All that was required was to win her over the corpse she was seeing. If he failed at that it would be all over for him.
In co-ed sleeping car #2 room #309 Nancy and her corpse had dinner. The table had been set neatly with a floor vase of fresh picked flyeaters while the meal consisted of mashed potatoes, stink bug larva, beats, and the hand of the very same reanimated man who ate on it. He had willingly donated for the occasion. The couple silently ate away; The corpse, shaking salt onto his food.
“It is too bad your taste buds are dead and have rotted away. Oh zombie man how I wish I could have you at your prime” Nancy sighed before taking another big bite.
The door slammed open and in pranced prince Edward.
“Oh dearest Nancy I have wronged you with my foul tongue” he cried.
“Out you ugly man your words are ever rotten to me” she yelled back throwing a gob of potato in rage.
The prince try to dodge the bullet, but was too slow from drink. It splatter him on the chest with a potato mash with all the shrapnel covering his expensive new clothes from head to toe.
“That's it no more fun with your corpse bitch!” yelled the prince, unsheathing his shining sword.
The zombie stumbled around with a groan as the prince stabbed him in the back.
“No! You stop this at once you awful man” Nancy cried.
“Take that creature!” yelled the prince, thrusting his sword in and out as he re-killed the corpse, it slowly collapsing on the floor.
“That's it you bastard” said Nancy
She was out of her dining seat and walked calmly across the room to the sink, where she unsheathed a large frying pan. The prince looked up and smiled as she drew on him and he inched back toward the door.
“Now, now you don’t do anything stupid dear” said Edward lowering his sword down while still pointing it at his Ex.
“I HATE YOU” Nancy cried jumping at him, swinging the pan.
“Clang” went the sword onto the floor.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAA” cried Prince Edward in pain.
He ran out of the room clutching his hand, pulsing and already blue and swollen from the impact of the cast iron pan.
"You can't get rid of me that easily love" Edward yelled from outside as he pranced off with one final last loud huff and puff.
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