"My digging is over for now, get up Ratom it's time for your shift" said one leprechaun, tossing the other one wide awake.

"Hmmm" said Ratom, climbing out from his makeshift nest among the gardening supplies. The sleepy leprechaun yawned as he took over the plate of wax with a stub still faintly casting flame from his brother. He rubbed his eyes so they could more closely look over the progress that had been made on the tunnel on his break.

"You need to start setting posts down there Mickey, your damn lucky you made it so far and you are still alive too" said Ratom as he crouched into the opening in order to look down inside.

"I was trying to go as fast as possible, and leave the tunnel braces for the elderly so I don't mess it, seeing as how I'm younger and more strapping I figured I'd do most of the digging, while you handle the carpentry while I rest" said Mickey,

He had taken the shovel out, where it rested before shoving it back into the ground a final time, before Mickey took a seat on the makeshift bed.

"You are lucky it the whole thing didn't collapse on you brother" said Ratom giving him a stern stare.

"I'll do better next time my brain is tired, I simply forgot to do it my mistake goodnight" said Mickey rolling into a position to sleep and then quickly taking to snoring.

Ratom shrugged in defeat, giving up at his latest effort to try to help his family not die off from stupidity. He pawed through the pile of dirt where he found the sack that had been buried over. He took it out and shook the fabric off of dust, before removing a hammer and nails freshly forged by the smith in Leprechaun alley that morning. Out next from the bag tunnel boards, wood was already cut short per their order and a new candle for his mining hat he lit with a click of flint.

He nailed two boards to one board along opposite corners, then gently guided them a short distance into the tunnel, nailing some more. The process was repeated deeper into the dig until the whole thing was secure.

“Hum hmm hum” hummed the leprechaun as he clapped his cut finger gloves together, while coming back into the garden shed for fresh air and to fetch the shovel, after eating.

The mind had to be numb to enjoy any of this work, thought Ratom digging away far below ground in the claustrophobic tunnel. The air was stale, vision poor, and his stomach rumbling from the pickle juice he had drank before sleeping. If calculations were correct Mickey would be the one to break ground in the vault tomorrow on his third shift of digging. A tightening of the chest, and gasping at the throat as the shovel removed soil from the crawl space he was working in. He journeyed it back to the wheelbarrow they were borrowing.

Ratom hated wearing an air crystal mask on account of the taste, the straps, and being a quarter of his weight. It was only really used when signs indicated that he was about to die. The mask hung from the beam by the cart; he put it on for some deep breaths before he went back in without it on. Some more was dug out of the tunnel. Progress was slow, and the heat would have been unbearable if not for Ratom knowing he would never work anything but a shlock tab again after this. All the gold.

"Alright Mickey, it's your turn to shovel" said one leprechaun tussling the other back to action.

"Sure enough boss" said Mickey, going to labor.

Ratom laid onto the overturned plant pots exhausted.

"Sweet dreams champion" he said to himself thinking of the gold that they would soon heist come morning.

As Mickey began take back his first cart full of dirt down bellow much lower directly underground, a cavern party raged. A place where anything including shlock was legal, it flowed as water in a fountain in the center as loots played.

“Unfortunately prince Edward Longbottom will not be playing tonight nor will his band” said Dick Richard enjoying aged shlock in the backroom

He was sitting at a table with an elven executive, around them bricks of gold stacked around the walls. One elf sat far away as possible in the cramped quarters shifting through the bricks and restacking them on another pallet tallying every last one.

“Why did he even bother showing any kind of presence then, just to offend me?” asked the executive two lizard guards hissing behind to drive his point.

“He's looking for a certain sort of crystal, and knows you have the connections to find them,” said Dick Richard folding his arms on the table.

“I think I can guess which Nint, hoo ho you will pay pretty just like your little brother” said the elven executive with a smile.

“Yes, we have the ultra rare cracked version from the dwarves to trade with you, as I’m sure you're aware whatever process of alchemy they apply to the rock infuses them with special powers no one else can produce on the planet ” said the Knight.

He put down a protective crystal face covering his identity, however Dick Richard still had full transparency of the world on the other side.

“We can produce those better, and more pure with our machines and goblin labor, a lot of things you humans don’t know about because we like to keep you in the dark” said the elf.

“Hey look here mister what's your name? how about just a little deal for some of those teleporters?”

“NO, and for this information and canceling on me have your bossy brother send me the location of where his mother stores the shlock she has stolen from her own people after her husband built the very factories that made it. That is all.” said the elf.

Dick Richard was escorted out of the room by a lizard who dashed any plans of the knight staying for the party by leaving his remarkably long tongue attached to Dick escorting him into an elevator headed up. The tongue snapped and with one move of the muscle the creature threw the knight out on the street with the trash. He went sailing through the air before smacking into a building, and then splashing into a bin of human sewage. His armor was ruined.

Back at the royal headquarters, Prince Edward sharpened his hook in the throne room with a whetstone.

“Scrape, scrape, scrape” went the hook over the stone.

He hadn’t decided what to do with his mother yet, and she hadn’t returned from where she had run. Nancy was dead, his most trusted assassin had confirmed it yesterday morning. The assassin was primed to hunt, and kill the queen at his command should he feel like giving it. Prince Edward would be king soon.

Now all he waited on was his little network of birds with a singular gel, to find him teleportation crystals at any cost. The door burst open and one entered now doing the blue salute while smelling of shite.

“King, the elves there at the illegal fountain of shlock have what we are looking for I was able to confirm it with my very eyes” said the knight.

“Very good Dick Richard I will ready the troops at once, but before I do I will again thank you for taking what I said about finding me those crystals at any cost to heart” said Edward as he pranced out.

A fountain of shlock was just an added bonus for the palace when he got back from the honeymoon that was postponed to the ire of a few that he had already eaten. Snaggy was waiting at attention just outside in the hallway, he jumped in fear as Edward exited.

“Jester delivers my first message to the army at once” Edward commanded.

“The army is still under your mothers name technically, but round you up a group of men with swords I will at once, sire how many men do you desire?” asked Snaggy, bowing.

“One hundred and fifty men and many big guns from the armory. Send them as soon as possible to the neighborhood where the crystal-less leprechauns supposedly live, the massive mansion on the end of one block you can't miss, a residence where many crimes against nature and the crown take place,” said the prince.

“At once your majesty” said Snaggy begging to dart to action, but Prince Edward stopped him with an extended hook close as a hair length.

“Call me king,” said Edward.

“Yes at once King Edward prince of crystal music and all bloodsports” said Snaggy.

“The only title of mine is king now fool! I am a man now, I can’t be bothered with the pointless arts anymore” said Edward.

“Yes king” said Snaggy running off to give orders.

The jester jumped off the castle wall, his arms grabbing onto a nearby tree branch as he swung to another getting closer to the ground. He would find men to give his masters orders out before noon. He sprung onto the grounds on a pile of leaves, and then sprinted forward. As his body was in motion Snaggy's mind considered all his possible contacts that could be utilized in organizing a task force for the crown on short notice.

“it's your turn to dig again,” said one leprechaun, shaking another one.

“This time the charm Mickey I can feel in my bones” said Ratom getting an apple out of his sack and chomping down.

Ratom munched on it entering the tunnel they had dug into the ground while Mickey curled himself over onto his stomach to relieve some of the pains from his back as he cradled it with what he could reach from his arms.

Ratom lit another small candle from his sack and put it on his head. Their tunnel had grown steps of wood leading down, down, down; No way anything could be buried this low. The only reason he would dig this shift is because his brother had invested so much of his body already into this endeavor.

“I'll dig all night, and then if nothing tells him it's all over in the morning” said the leprechaun alone to himself as he took up a shovel.

As he was digging away with all his effort, the prince's new gang had formed and they rode into the Leprechaun neighborhood a convoy of horses, big landbirds, donkeys and mules pulling carts of big guns from the royal locker.

“BOOOM!”

The front of the upstairs mansion had a hole blown in from cannon shot. Elves and their mercs dove for cover as the crowd that had gather for the shlock froze realizing they were trapped underground.

Ratom's foot was slipping, his leg sucked into the quicksand sucking down as where he had just been digging gave out.

“Smack” the leprechaun lay unconscious from the fall.

His head had hit on a stack of gold bricks stacked in the empty room.