Robert was, surprisingly, calm. Or maybe he was just numb. He couldn’t afford to be anything else. If he let himself feel, if he let go of his fiercely held control, he would destroy everything. She was just gone. Snatched from a crowd under the noses of his own seasoned men without a trace. It had been three days since they had found her. Bound. Exhausted. She hadn’t uttered a word. Three days he had tormented himself for his failure. It occurred to him that he simply couldn’t leave her anymore. This was the second time she had been taken from him in his absence. There would not be a third.

His unnatural calm was scaring his men. But if he let go of his tightly held control, he could kill someone. Sir Henry was prepared to suffer the consequences, he was an honourable man, but Robert didn’t want that. Not really. Oddly enough, it was Aelfwine who eased his mind best. They sat together now in his private study, the fire crackling as Robert stared into its flickering light.

“What are we going to do Aelfwine?”

The unexpected question was a relief to Aelfwine. He had been concerned. If Roberts absence continued, the alliance between their peoples would fall apart.

“We just have to patient Robert. Both the physician and the healer said she was well physically. She’s had a shock and was exhausted from her struggle to free herself. Not to mention she was exposed to the elements for some time. She will come out of this melancholia soon.”

Robert sighed. “I hope so Aelfwine. Osgar is most distressed. Not even he can draw her much. I cannot bare to think what happened to her. What he did to her.”

Aelfwine glanced at him sideways. “She needs looking after Robert. She needs protection and security, just look at everything she has been through in the last few months. Will you -?”

“I can’t.” Robert interrupted him. “Don’t ask it of me Aelfwine.”

“Why not? I know you care for her. And she for you. Will you abandon her to Him? Or to be used as the Kings pawn?”

“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO? I am betrothed by the King’s will, he will not release me. I need an heir like any other Lord and the good will of the King. None survive his wrath. I need to provide for my people, my vessels and my family. My role is one of responsibility more than privilege. I have a duty.”

“Robert, the King favours you. Surely he would forgive you once he knows for you love. You could make Osgar you heir and have more with Serenity.”

“Never trust the favour of Kings Aelfwine, it is a fickle thing. Neither the King, nor the other nobles would accept an heir that was not Norman. Like they would barley accept a so called half breed as my Lady. The King sits ill at ease on his throne. He still fears the fierce resistance of your people and the many lost nobles that slipped through his fingers. He knows, from experience, how dangerous a long entrenched foe on his very door step is. He fears his own tactics will be used against him. No, the King will not support this. There is no way.”

Aelfwine straightened in his chair. “And what of our alliance Robert? What is the point if you cannot convince the King?”

Robert sighed and dropped his head back to rest on his own chair. “I can only enforce the alliance within my own fiefdom Aelfwine. Luckily, it’s a large piece of land and my neighbouring Lords are some of the more reasonable ones. All we can do it make a difference where we can. We cannot change the world all at once, we can only lay the foundation for the next steps.”

Aelfwine didn’t argue and Robert was grateful. He wasn’t sure when he had fallen in love with Serenity. But when he realised it, the pain of never being able to give her his name, his position, his love in an honourable way was excruciating. He couldn’t even give her comfort when she so obviously suffered. His heart seared with pain at the thought, clenching fiercely in his chest. What would he do now?

***

Serenity, listened as the two men spoke. Hidden in the shadows, she felt something more than focused determination for the first time in ages. She felt a little sad. The last thing she wanted was to worry them but it was hard to keep track of time when she jumped around. When she did spend some time here at the castle, she was tired and despondent.

It had taken so long, years even, but she had finally perfected the art of accurate departure and arrival. Coming back to the castle, Serenity had been lost in her own mind. The shock of what she could do slowly seeped into her and so she decided to experiment. That first time, jumping deliberately, hurt so much. Not physically. Physically she felt nothing. But mentally... she had ended up in the last place she wanted to be. Right outside her childhood house, below the bedroom window.

At first, she wanted to leave but something niggled at her. Something anchored her there, to that moment. So she decided to try something, anything really, to understand what was happening to her. She tried to comfort her child self, protect her from the nightmares and the shadows. But time is a funny thing. It’s it’s own master. You can’t exist more than once in the same moment so everything was out of sync. Serenity couldn’t interact with her. No matter how many times she tried and how many different ways, the child never saw her or heard her. And the shadows still came, more and more until, finally Serenity realised. Too late.

In trying to look back and change her past, she’d created it. Serenity was the shadows. Serenity was my own nightmare.

She almost lost myself then. As a child, she became more and more anxious and expressed, withdrawing into herself and as the adult watched, something within her broke and died. It was a long time before Serenity could bring herself to act again.

Jumping had become so nature to her with all the times she had visited her childhood, she’d narrowed the margin or error from months to hours. But what to do now? What was the point. She couldn’t help herself and she didn’t want to leave the past behind her. Something was still going on, history was messy and Wick would not leave his ambitions. So she would hunt.

Wick said he was there when the shadows came, watching her. Well she would find him and figure out how to end it. She may not be able to interact with herself, but she may be able to interact with another. There would be time for that later. First she had to deal with now. Her friends needed reassurance. She may be struggling but she could make things difficult for others.

She slipped away and returned to her room. Water for washing and clean clothes would help. Refreshed, Serenity opened her door and made her way to the great hall where delicious aromas told her food was being served. Robert, Osgar and Aelfwine sat at the head table so she headed towards them. The hustle and bustle of the hall quieted but she just kept walking. With a small smile she rounded the table and Robert stood to pull out her chair for her.

The noise in the hall resumed and Serenity turned her attention to her food. They said nothing, but she saw relief in the eyes of her friends as she quietly ate and drank, listening to the conversations around her.

The meals was finishing when the hall door where thrown open and a page ran up to Robert.

“My Lord! The guests have arrived.”

Aelfwine tensed briefly before assuming his usual manner and Robert stood to greet his allies. The part was small all things considered, composed of a Lord and a handful of his his grizzled knights. But Serenity did not expect the delicate yet firm figure that Stroud next to the Lord. She knew, even before she heard the softly exhaled name from her friend.

“Evelyn.”