“No!” shouted Gaz. “I’ve been waiting five years for a bloody call up, and it finally happens now!”

“I thought you’d be happy?” said Joel.

“Happy? Are you mental?” replied Gaz. “I wanted to join the army before there was a war on. When you just got to shoot targets, test out weapons, beat up fellow soldiers but not actually have a real chance of dying. The only danger I wanted was from the hand to hand combat classes they give. We’re making a mint from ripping these idiots off now, it’s the best shape we’ve ever been in.”

It was true. Before Jake had put Schmingleton well and truly on the map, no-one had ever heard of it, let alone thought to visit it before. The Tereson’s already lived there and had taken full advantage of the opportunity it presented. It was a good job too, as their Mom, Teresa, was pregnant again. Apparently the Father was a mystery again.

“I’m not going,” said Gaz.

“Not going?” replied Joel. “How are you going to avoid it?”

“Well I just won’t turn up. Easy.” Gaz grinned.

“Not quite,” answered Joel. “This letter was delivered by hand.”

Joel pointed down the street. There was a large ship parked there, and a regiment of soldiers, complete with black armour and laser guns, were walking towards them.

“It’s the conscription ship. They’ve come to get us.”