《ALPHA’S EX-MATE》1 || Eliza
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“I’m not going,” I say to my betrayal, butends on both of my sides while we enter the school building in our school uniforms that swish and sway with the movement of the wind.
The school building which was painted in plain white had a linking roof to the other sectors of the school. Trees swish and sway in soprano to the gentle rhythm of the wind, its green and orange leaves flutter in soprano to the ground.
My two best friends have been pestering me these past few weeks to go to Alpha’s son’s birthday party, which coincidentally fell on the same day as my birthday. Probably in hopes that I would find my mate. I roll my eyes.
For some reason, all werewolves seem to care about through out their life is finding their mate. It's almost an obsession at this point. Meeting or finding your soulmate or soulmates is an ongoing event that usually happens between the period of 12-16 years of age.
I didn't want to be part of the population that didn't want to live for anything or anyone else that wasn’t their mate. I want something more.
I don’t need a mate. Nor do I want one, I’m perfectly fine with dying alone and nobody else around my coffin except my two best friends.
What’s so bad about being single? Happiness doesn’t always have to come from romantic relationships.
Besides, it’s not like I was ever going to not die alone. I just don’t have the energy or the heart to start liking someone, wanting that someone and becoming dejected with the realization that they may not feel the same way about me.
Nonetheless, If I have a mate to look out for, why put them through that type of hurt of there being with someone else or the drama that comes along with it?
“Why not?” Eberlyn asks, pouting her lips giving me the puppy dog eyes, an expression that has worked on me way too many times. But no this time.
I trudge through the horde of students with them trying not to get pushed to the ground. Some people give us an annoyed look but instead if giving them attention they seek, my two friends ignore it and keep walking as the hot sun beats down on our necks. I however am not them and cannot-simply will not-ignore it. I glare at them, angrier at the blasted sun than at them, and they scamper away, no longer willing to bother us. I smile.
What a fantastic lovely day.
“Yeah E, why not?” Riley inquires with her arms folded across her chest with an eyebrow raised.
One of my dearest and closest friends of all time. And because of that, I know when to keep going and when to back down in situation like this when she questions me like this. This, however, is not one of those times.
Even though I do cherish her advice giving skills and knowing when to put her foot down, she doesn't always do what is best for me, as much as she tries to. Something we have often had fights about in the past.
I don’t know what I’d if I lost her. Saying I would probably die is far fetched though.
She has brown that swirl and melt into golden irises and black lips coated in sparkly blue as she likes using different colours of lipstick during the day to match whatever mood she's currently in. So she's either feeling confident or ambitious this morning. Using colours as a form of expression has always fascinated me.
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Usually, I see her in a different shade in a different class so I wonder what colour it'll be in Physics as we all have opposite time-tables of our class schedule. I sigh and turn towards them.
“Because I don’t want to,” I state as simply as I can, already tired of this conversation. The questioning looks in their faces prove they don’t believe my half lie half truth that easily. Damn it. Why do they easily spot when I’m not telling them the full truth like some they're robots or something?
But, as much as it startlingly spot on-don't tell them I said that, it’ll go straight to Riley's head-that’s not the truth. Not the whole one at least. It’s isn’t a total lie, however being as I honest Selene do not want to go. Do I really need a reason to not leave my home for a party I know I won’t even enjoy? That’s not the whole truth either if you’re wondering.
“Besides, I have more important things to do on that day.” I return instead. I just want them to leave the topic alone. Or is that too much to ask first? Don’t they see how uncomfortable it makes me? But nope, no such luck.
It frustrates me to no end when she gets like this. Like can't she just let it go?
“First, that’s not a valid reason. Second, more importantly, like what? ” She asks in a disbelieving tone. I roll my coffee brown eyes. Fun fact: I hate coffee. Like absolutely detest it. Not only does it remind me of the most bitter liquid on earth, it also drugs way too much attention to my beautiful inhuman eyes.
I let out a sigh, annoyance and deep tiredness all rolled into one with the feeling of frustration and the situation brought in with its existence and slowly swivel around to face them. I just feel tired of this.
Why do I have to have friends anyway if they’re going to be this pushy?
“Of course it’s a reason. And better things like study for the test we have the next Monday's test, sleep in, read a book, watch and play with my phone while listening to music. ” I reply, folding my arms across my chest, not going to take no for an answer if it came to it.
Ha! Now they can’t say I don’t do anything on Saturdays. But again isn’t that the whole point of Saturdays? Ah, but if that’s the case my mother never got the memo; she has to make us do chores every single blessed weekend and make sure that we do them well, hovering around like an unrestful and unwelcome guest.
“Test?” Eberlyn asks in a confused voice. I stare at her in disbelief but Riley just ignores her.
“You can’t honestly give up the chance of….having fun on a Saturday,” Riley argues, unwilling to see the side my side of things, as per was her attitude towards me finding a mate, which I thought to be the root of the problem of this morning.
Annoyed, I scoff, fold my arms across my small chest, not small to feel non existent but not too big to draw unwanted attention towards it, just the way I like it, and reply with “Yes. Yes, I can. Riley, what’s your damn problem this morning? It’s not even midmorning or anything and yet you’re arguing with me as if its afternoon!”
“We have a test?” Eberlyn asks again, quite louder this time. Or at least it feels that way. Half my ear perceives her words whilst the other is trained to Riley’s words.
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How doesn’t she know this? It’s like the last thing Mr. Nandi said on Friday.
“I just want you to have fun but apparently that’s so wrong. I guess I can let you do whatever you wanna do in your free time....” She trails off. I scoff, turning my head away to complete the action.
Unbelievable.
“Is that the only reason that you want to force me to go to a party I don’t obviously want to go to?” I inquire knowing that whenever I actually call her out in her annoying attitude with me she gets furious. Her lips purse, signifying that she’s about to break. Her left eye twitches. And bingo!
“DON’T YOU WANT TO FIND YOUR MATE?” She yells out making everyone in the hallway stop and stare at us. I give them a forced smile and wave at them. Much to my greatdelight, they turn back to what they were doing with a shrug, but they probably view me as a weirdo now. Can't win em all.
I grab both of my friends by the wrists and haul them to the girl’s bathroom just around the corner. The glass door shines in the light that hits its steel edges. I let go of one hand and push it open.
This might be a werewolf run school but we still have to be cautious. I mean, you never know who or what might be listening. And when I say ‘we’ I mean, Riley. They really shouldn't take for granted the majority in the school.
Doesn’t matter if she was angry or not, shouldn’t have almost blown our secret to the whole school. But I did push her to the edge so…….can I even really complain? Actually, yes I can.
I give her a look silently as we all amble on into the girls bathroom. A giant mirror I instantly place myself in front of the nearest wall in front of one of the stalls. Although the chances aren't that high of being somehow spotted by unwanted audiences since the glass is blurred from the inside out, so you can't really see inside, I don't want to take any chances.
“I know I shouldn’t yell that out and I’m sorry I almost blew your secret. Forgive me?” She asks, lips drawn up in a pout as she searches my eyes for an answer. I bite my lip but don’t answer at first as I contemplate my next words.
“….No. You can’t just blurt out things like that just because you’re angry at me for some reason or the other. It’s very…selfish.” I accuse as I raise my head to meet her eyes in a steady gaze at her.
She gasps, putting her hand on her heart.
“You…you think I’m selfish?” She asks incredulously. I narrow my eyes at this.
“Yes, I think you’re selfish. I trusted you enough to know about my secret when I was eight and now you want to blow my whole species existence over what? Some unreasonable jealousy or something?”
She visibly recoils away from me as if I’ve just struck a chord. I purse my lips. Huh.
She has no right to be upset, I’m the one that going to be killed if the humans found out about us. That is if the humans don’t get to me first.
Did she almost come close to getting a death sentence with her name stamped on it?
I turn around and walk out of the bathroom, shivering in anger, the door swinging back onto its frame with full force as I slammed it.
People in the hall all stopped what they were doing to turn and look at me. “What? Am I a movie now?” I ask, raising my eyes to them, my tone saying I wanted someone to challenge me.
They slowly turn back to what they were doing and I continue on my way to class. I groan, hearing soft footsteps behind me not too long after that.
“I think you went too far.” Eberlyn voices out in that quiet still of hers, of which is an imprint of her soupçon personality walking towards me . The bathroom door swings shut, steel hinges swing to and fro for a hired mesmerizing second.
I shake my head and turn to her. “If I hope not, everyone did hear and someone from the pack heard as well and they go to tell the Alpha, my death sentence would be sealed even before I even have the chance to open my mouth to explain my side,” I explain with a raised eyebrow at her, daring her to say I was the one in the wrong.
She sighs and looks at the floor but doesn’t say anything more.
“How much time alone do you need?” She asks, looking back up at me. I shrug.
“A while. Two days, three at the most .” She nods at my answer but doesn’t say anything for a while.
“Well, bye.” She announces suddenly breaking the heavy silence between us. I startle.
“Aren’t we going to class together?” I ask, quite baffled by her words. She looks away and doesn’t say anything. The silence gives me an answer I don’t like. We're more than sister and I’ve always felt like I could talk about anything with her and She would not judge, just listen to my problems and offer advice if she had any. How can she betray me like this?
I fold my arms across my bosom and narrow my eyes into thin slots. “So you’re taking her side now?” I prod, too stunned to comprehend the words from her mouth that have the distinct sound of betrayal but too angry to let it go. I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t want to believe it.
She can't betray me like this. She can't. Not after what we’ve both been through together these 9 years. I won't let her. She won't betray me like that, right? She wouldn't do that to me.
But it only takes a small window of opportunity to show people who they really are.
Silence speaks louder than words and from the tense anticipation I have my answer. The betrayal cuts me deep into my heart.
I turn away ever so slightly, as if burned from her lack of words and the reassurance that doesn't fall from her pliant lips, trickle tears burning at the soles of my tear lines. “So you’re going to pick her side over mine? When you know in your heart of hearts that I’m right? After everything we’ve been through together, you’re night going to toss me a way like a cheap gift?”
She swiftly closes her eyes as if she’s being pushed into a corner she doesn’t want to be in. “Don’t.” My nose flares up. My pulse thunders in my ears, an angry sound of a coming storm. My eyes flash as they focus on the subject of caused hurt.
“Fine, be that way.But don’t speak to me again after this. For I swear you’ll regret it.” I say, throwing angry words of careless disorderliness and discomposure away at her that I know I will deeply regret the moment I have some quiet time to myself and rethink my choices of words as I walk away, shivering in anger on my way to class.
But for now, I let myself stew in anger.
With a hiss, I turn away and walk to class that I’m 15 minutes late for, despite my best efforts to get to class early.
First Riley practically courts out my werewolf secret to the whole school. Then Eberlyn, who usually helped with problems like these, took her side, even though im the one in the right.
Am I now the bad guy for calling out Riley for being irresponsible and selfish?
Did our friendship mean nothing to her?
As the day dragged on and on, our interaction for the whole day doesn’t change much except for when we passed each other in the hall and give each other silent nods of acknowledgement, but even those seemed too hard on my tiring psyche, and so I turned to go in the other direction.
At least I still my birthday to lookout forward too.
Oh who cares, its not like it would be fun and lively without them.
Feeling down in the dumps about this morning’s events, I went to the bathroom to try to collect myself instead of going to my technology class(he wasn’t in school today anyway) to wash my face. Stepping into the toilet, I let out a sigh and sluggishly head directly for the tap.
I stare at my reflection and see dark semicircle’s underneath my eyes. I grimace and twist the nob, swiftly turning on the tap, water immediately gushing out in a calm stream. Placing my hand underneath, I watch it fill up into a small reservoir of water in the white bowl and bend down to splash it onto my face.
I lift my face and stare at myself through the mirror again. I frown, now hearing the quiet muffled sounds of crying and short sniffles coming from one of the stalls. I turn to where the sound is coming from and hesitate to speak.
They probably already know there is someone in here in the toilet with them, my footsteps aren’t exactly light, but do they want to be comforted? Crying doesn’t always exactly mean you want comfort, you’re just out all your feelings of hurt.
But I also feel like even if I can’t or shouldn’t comfort them, let me at least lend a listening ear. Sometimes all someone needs is a listening ear.
“Hey, you need someone to talk to? ” I call out as I slowly and hesitantly saunter towards the dark green stall. The sniffling stops for a few seconds and those brief seconds of tense silence, I don’t think they’re going to respond and start to turn back.
“...… I just… what’s the point, you know? Why do people hurt people? What do you gain from that? ” She asks, sniffling in between her words, a familiar coping mechanism for the hopeless and sad, an inkling feeling tells me that she wants to continue her crying session. I bite my lip in thought before I reply.
“Well, some people are…different. And we have the choice to either adapt or let go.” I whisper in a gentle tone softer than marshmallows.
“That sounds very tempting….” She concludes. I keep silent waiting for her to do in her thought.
“But ..what if you feel trapped in that ‘relationship’? What if you’ve been threatened?” She continues as if she never paused her train of thought, in such a hopeless tone that I don’t even need to open the stall to know that she’s trying to fight back the tears. I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
“You have to believe you’re strong enough to see you’re not the one in the wrong for wanting to leave. Then you leave for the better. ” I advise as best as possible, hoping that I don’t sound like a certified idiot, trying to console and encourage her.
She sniffles.
“Do you believe in me? Even if you don’t know me? ” She queries me with a newfound certainty that I didn’t even expect she’d have, both sentences null and void of the paused in between that previous ones had. And I’m glad that she is feeling confident, even if that doesn’t last long.
“I do. Even if I don’t know you. ” I stop to think. “Do you believe in yourself?” I ask although I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to that question.
“I-I’d like to. Sometimes I feel like I do, but it doesn’t for long,” She admits in deep resignation, shifting sounds emitting from the stall.
“.. I sometimes felt like that too, quite a while ago.” Even though it had been approximately ten years, I still remember the fleeting moments of self-confidence. I pause.
“But it won’t always be like that, you know. Rainbow after the storm and all that.” I continue.
A sudden thought filters through my brain like something made of paper that couldn’t get to me finally falling through the tiny hole of passage.
“ If you’d like, I could give you a hug?” The question slips out of my lips before I can think it through but I think, at this point, it feels right to ask at this, to offer more than just words of comfort and understanding.
It feels like we’ve grown close in this short amount of time that we’ve had with each other.
Is it weird that I trust her, even though I don’t know her it even what she looks like? I wince.
Even though I should since we’ve probably both bone to the same school for the last 10 years.
That makes me sound like such a horrible person.
I can’t even place the voice, albeit it sounds oddly familiar.
She pauses before she cuts out a response. “Um, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that yet… but thank you. No one's ever offered to hug me or to comfort me so the fact that you offered….makes me feel not so alone. ” She titters out with nervous energy. I blink in surprise, confused as to why and how such a person like her would not be offered hugs every single second of the day if anyone ever saw her sad.
How could anyone not like her?
I’m even now contemplating dropping my friends just to be friends with her, and considering the fact that I’m still so very pissed at them (Eberlyn especially. How dare she take Riley’s side!?), I’m more than willing to do so right now.
Which, I know sounds bad, but I don’t see how I’m just not supposed to consider it.
“Hey, you still there?” Her little voice meekly questions, her comforting tone jolting out of my thoughts and back into reality.
Fuck.
Was I crying? Why the hell?
Using the heel of my hands to roughly brush past my wet eyes, I sniffle lowly, hoping to dear God that she didn’t hear that, “Yeah, I am…just got lost in thought…Are we friends now? Or are we still just strangers?” Immediately the words tumble out of my mouth, which can’t fucking shut up sometimes, I want to take them back in. I close my eyes and groan quietly.
Fuck. She isn’t supposed to know that I don’t know who she is or what she even looks like. Hopefully, she doesn’t notice. Hopefully.
“You’d want to be friends with me? Are you sure?” She queries, gentle confusion in her voice.
Oh, thank heavens, she didn’t notice……Well, either that or.. did she just not want to ask me about it?
A stab of over-protection tugs at my heart fiercely at this as I’m filled with deep sorrow that she feels like she doesn’t think she’s worth becoming friends with.
Who broke her confidence like this? And why?
What reason would you have to break someone else’s confidence like this?
“I’m sure,” I answer instead, hands closed in a tight fist as the anger rose in me. I'm going to wring this person's neck, whomever hurt her this way and made her doubt every thing about herself. And then bring them back to life so I can torture them.
An excited squeal startles me and I subconsciously back away. “Sorry. Just excited to have a new friend.” She explains, shy voice meeting its match in the pauses in between both sentence.
I smile. “That’s okay. I’m excited too.”
Something nags at my mind and I can’t quite shake off the feeling that I might be missing something.
“Hey, what’s the time?” I ask, confused as to why that has something to do with the anxious feeling.
Hesitant silence fills the air. “Um, 11:30. Why?”
Alarm bells ring in my head. “Shit, I’m late for class /Math.” My eyes widen in shock as the words for out of my mouth, unable to comprehend how I managed to make myself late.
“Oh.” She exclaims in a voice that would-perhaps- only belong to that of a little mouse that I almost don’t hear her.
Having super hearing does have its perks.
I hesitate and take a glance at the door and turn my sights back to the stall. “Could we…could we meet at lunchtime? Like at the front door?” I suggest, unsure if she’ll accept and anticipating her refusal but hoping and hoping that she doesn’t turn my suggestion away.
She hesitates for the short breathe that comes within the stall. “ I.... sure. I don’t mind.” I furrow my eyebrows. It seemed like just then she wanted to say simthing but then thought better if it.
A strong wave of extreme relief fills me and makes me release a sigh of relief.
“Okay, see you then.” My voice getting higher and higher with each syllable, giving away the fact that I’m excited and happy about this.
I clear my throat and start walking towards the door.
Peaking my head out into the hallway to see if the coast is clear of any teachers and other people so I can quickly make a run for it without being punished for it, a wide grin spreads across my face when I see that the hallway is indeed empty.
I'm starting to feel like this is my lucky day.....
I walk off into the hallway and step into class with a smile on my lips.
Maybe today won't be so unbearable after all.
Given that I haven't run into any of the three rich bitches(there's four but....Can I even really call her a mean hearted person if I don't know her?) today really looking up. So maybe I might have a good week?
I snort, causing students to turn in their seats to look at me, and bend my head down in embarrassed mortification, moving my pen across the paper as the teacher wrote the note on the white-board. My hands work the pen furiously across the pathway of my notebook, jotting down every important information my hearing senses latched onto.
Classes quickly spiralled past as the minutes turned to hours that languidly moved in a hazy blur and I was starting to feel suspicious.
The times when I didn't want it to go by so fast, it did. Coincidence?
There were a few topics we did in some classes that I enjoyed. Not fair. The brain's structure seemed quite an interesting topic. So much knowledge, and yet so little time to learn them.
I pack my stuff and leave the scanty class of students, teenagers leaving inn the sane breathe that the bells rung.
My books jostle in my hands as I step out, foot barely missing the slight interruption in smoothed floor of tiles. I glare at the steel as if I were staring down a human enemy that could respond to my annoyance. I huff and turn my heel to my locker. And here I was thinking I was going g to have a good day. I groan as my mood dampens.
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