“Please insert your right arm into the cylinder.” A very bored young girl sat behind the counter at the Frontier office. It wasn’t exactly what I expected. Then again I wasn’t expecting a single desk in a room with several rows of chairs and a ‘Please take a number’ sign on the wall.

Thankfully the place was empty and I didn’t have to wait very long. Beatrice had left after dropping me off saying he needed to finish up her business around the town and promised me some more Dims when she was done selling the rest of the Dire Wolf parts.

“Please fill out the information on the screen.”

The girl gestured to the large machine I had my arm stuck in. It was like a vending machine with a hole it in for your arm and a large screen with writing on it.

‘Name’ was the first field. I got this I thought. It’s my character registration screen! Finally!

I input ‘Xelenad’ and the little circle at the end of the field shows a red X. Frowning I look at the girl.

“Excuse me.”

“Hmm?”

“Uh, this machine won’t let me register my name.”

“What name are you putting in? It can’t be anything dirty or offensive.”

“It’s not, I put Xelenad.”

“Sell a what?”

“Zel a nod.”

“What kind of name is that?”

“Look, it’s not taking the name.”

She sighs and stares at me.

“That’s my name, it’s what I’m called, and I can’t put it into the system.”

“What does it say at the bottom of the form?”

Searching I found the warning in tiny red letters, This name is already taken.

You have to be kidding me!

My forehead hits the screen and I bang against it for a second.

“Sir, please don’t break the machine.”

“Who took my name?”

“I’m sorry sir, I have no idea, but can you please finish up there so I can complete your registration?”

“Fine.

Leaving the ‘Name’ field blank I move on down the list:

Name:

Family Name:

Occupation: Citizen

Origin: Human

Skills: Archery, Throwing Weapons, Rifles

Family Name? That was a strange question. I decide to ask my very helpful attendant.

“Excuse me, what is the ‘Family Name’ field for?”

“For your family name?” She shrugs and looks at me with a look of, what do you think?

“I don’t have a family name.”

“You don’t know your parents?”

“No, I mean... Nevermind.”

Finishing the form out, I put

Name: Carrots

Family Name: Field

Might as well have fun with the game since it won’t let me pick the name I wanted.

I then press the green check mark symbol and the bottom and a ‘Registering’ prompt shows up.

After a moment a red X shows on the screen with the words ‘Unable to process’.

“It won’t work.” I tell the girl.

With a huff she gets up and walks around the desk to where I’m standing. “Let me check.”

She taps the screen and the error clears out. Then she presses the check mark again prompting the ‘Registering’ screen.

“I just did that.”

Never in my life had I seen daggers in a person’s eyes until today.

Once again, the red X shows up and I keep the snark to myself.

Walking back to the desk she picks up a small pad she’d been staring at before and I realize it’s her phone. The thought didn’t register right away because it was so incredibly thin and I hadn’t seen much advanced technology since leaving Quentin’s shop. That and this strange machine that won’t let go of my left arm at the risk of never being register as a citizen of this backwards town.

“Joey, the machine won’t let this guy register and I already tried to submit the app again.”

The moment drags on for a bit as she has a one sided conversation over her, let’s call it a phone.

“Sir, what model of Neural Link do you have.”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you have it installed?”

“No, I didn’t choose it myself.”

“He doesn’t know. Uh huh. Ok. I don’t know how to turn it off and on again. Ok fine. Ok I got it. Bye.” Placing her phone the desk she crossed her arms and said, “Just go ahead and pull your arm out and we can try again later.”

“I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t.”

“I mean, my arm is stuck in this stupid machine.”

“Stuck?”

“Uh yea.” I tug at my arm and she can see that I’m obviously stuck.

“Oh wow, that’s super weird. It only clamps down during the reading phase when it’s trying to locate and scan your chip.”

“I don’t have a chip.”

“Oh... then.”

That’s when I feel it. A sharp stinging and burning sensation at the base of my thumb.

People outside probably thought a little girl was being tortured as they walked by.

A half hour later I was fully registered and a plot of land was assigned to me. Surprisingly it was just over 2 miles from Beatrice’ place, so I knew how to get there.

Another surprising thing was the fact that after all that nuisance and pain, their machine was not compatible with my Neural Link Interface. So that was just fantastic as well.

Walking out of the Frontier office, no new information, no User Terminal, in pain, and pretty exhausted, I run into Beatrice.

“How’d it go in there?”

“Horribly.”

“They didn’t answer your questions?”

“Oh you mean, did they give me a hand full of pamphlets about how amazing it is to be a Frontiers resident who contributes to the...” I pull a pamphlet from my pocket and open it to read, “prosperity and well-being of all future New Terra residents?”

She snickers.

“You have got to be kidding me! They couldn’t unlock my Link thing, they didn’t offer me a quest to save the Dire Wolves, I didn’t get any information about the Holo people or the Annas. All they did was stab me and put a thing in my hand with some bogus name and information.”

Pulling a device from her pocket she waved it over my wrist and started laughing as she saw the information. “Carrots Field? Is that really your name?”

“NO!”

“Then why did you put that?”

“It didn’t take the name I put in at first. I figured if I put in bogus info I could just finish the process and change it later.”

“Well, I guess we’ll be looking forward to your harvest next season then won’t we, Carrots.”

“AH!”