《The Unexpected Engagement of the Marvelous Mr. Penn》Chapter 5 - Cousin Eddie
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Cousin Eddie jumped down from the train when he caught sight of Eleanor.
“Why, the blushing bride-to-be has come to greet me herself!” He bowed over her hand. “I’m honored.” Then he tossed the hand aside, put an arm over her shoulders, and kissed her on the cheek. “Hello, Eleanor.”
“Hello, Eddie. How was the trip?”
“Dull. Like always.” Edward Comtess turned to the baroness. “Mother! Love and light of my life! How are you?”
She got a kiss on both cheeks, which she suffered with as much dignity as possible.
“Imp,” she said.
Edward didn’t bother denying the accusation. “Oh! I had better track down my luggage. I’d rather not lose it all.” He bounded off.
Eleanor said, “I see he hasn’t changed much.”
“I wonder how I ever gave birth to such a creature,” Lady Serrs-Comtess grumbled.
“I’m my father’s daughter, Edward belongs to you—substantive variations do show up from time to time.”
Eleanor felt the hum of her nerves increase as the silence stretched on. She glanced at her aunt, hoping she hadn’t offended her.
The baroness didn’t look upset. She looked thoughtful. The older woman pulled her eyes away from her niece.
“Bateson?”
Eleanor tried to hide her surprise. “Yes. Did you read him?”
“You forget, Eleanor, Archie was a scientist.”
Archie Serrs-Comtess was Eleanor’s deceased uncle. In truth, Eleanor had forgotten. She remembered glass bottles, a cluttered table, walls of books, and a quiet, unknown man, all hidden behind the door to the forbidden study. It had never occurred to her that his hobby might have had such a large influence on his wife.
Helena went on, “I assume you’ve read Darwin.”
“I have.”
Her aunt nodded to Edward, who had reappeared on the platform with his luggage and a boy to help carry it. “What do you think? ‘Let the strongest live and the weakest die.’ I despair for him.”
“A sense of humor can be a strength, Aunt Helena.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I have to.”
This time Helena watched her niece from the corner of her eye.
Edward cried out as he approached them, “Let’s get you home! Please tell me dear Uncle Erravold sent the car.”
“Never,” Lady Helena said.
“But we’re in a hurry, right?” He turned to his cousin. “Don’t you have a wedding dress and other froufrou to select?”
“I think you’ll be disappointed,” Eleanor said.
“Only if I don’t get to help!”
“This is a serious matter, Edward,” Helena snapped.
Cousin Eddie adopted a more serious air. “I’m sorry, Mother. I know it is.” He turned to his cousin. “I hope I haven’t upset you, darling Eleanor?”
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“I’m in tears.”
Lady Serrs-Comtess saw Eleanor’s gentle smile and Edward’s much more brazen smile, and rolled her eyes.
“Jackanapes. Both of you.”
“Hardly fair! Little Ellie is the sweetest woman in the world.”
“A well-behaved monkey is still a monkey. Now, come along.”
As they walked back toward the carriage, Edward leaned over and whispered to Eleanor, “When’s feeding time at the zoo?”
“Lunch will be at one, unless it’s delayed, but you have to eat in your cage.”
Edward made an excited oooh noise.

When they got back to the house, Edward was sent bursting in with his natural tactlessness. He acquired the information he was sent for, returned to the back door, and shouted outside, “It’s all right, Eleanor! Taylor says the reporters are gone. There’s still some man at the door—oh! Is he Penn? Can I get an autograph?”
Inspector Haley, the man who had been at the front door, took a few steps back to see what was happening at the other end of the house.
Helena came in first. “Edward, if you don’t stop shouting that drivel, I’ll have you burned at the stake.” She glanced down the length of the hall. “That is Detective Chief Inspector Lucas Haley. He’s a policeman.”
“A policeman?” Edward made a face. “Never mind then.” He suddenly became thoughtful. In a strange voice (he must have borrowed from someone more sensible), he said, “The old duke really is taking this seriously, isn’t he?”
Eleanor came inside. She ignored her cousin and crossed over to the officer. “Inspector, you’re still here?”
“For the moment,” Haley said. “I was on my way out.”
Eleanor started to say, “How did—” but then stopped.
She felt acutely aware of Edward’s presence, as if his aura had a weight to it. While she appreciated his verve, she didn’t want everything to become a joke. She tried to think of a way to get the inspector by himself.
“Shall I walk you to the gate?”
If Haley was surprised, he hid it well. “I would be honored, Lady Serrs.”
Eleanor led him away.
Edward tried to follow them, but his mother’s hand latched around his arm.
“I didn’t get a chance to shake his hand!” Edward said. “What will his impression of me be?”
“An accurate one.”
“I should go with her.”
“You should greet your host. I know you’ve been trained in manners.”
“But—”
“But what?”
Edward scowled. “Very well. Where is His Grace this morning?”
As Edward was trying to hunt down Aubrey-Serrs, Haley and Eleanor walked down to the gate.
They had started off in silence, but then Eleanor said, “You look troubled.”
At first the officer appeared exasperated, then he let out a huff of laughter. “I suppose it’s good to know I got the look right.”
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“What’s troubling you?”
He went two more paces, then said, “It’s your father. I advised him to say nothing. He wouldn’t listen.”
“Listening isn’t his strong point. Especially if he’s already made up his mind.”
“Those vultures cheered when he told me off.”
“Chief Inspector, I’m so sorry—”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Still, I can empathize. It must have been…”
She couldn’t say humiliating—though, doubtless, it was. No one would want to have attention drawn to the fact.
She finished with “…frustrating.”
“It was that,” Haley admitted. He took a deep breath. “I’m sure you’ll learn what your father said in the evening edition, but I’ll bet you can guess the gist of it now. Tomorrow I think we’ll be getting another letter from Mr. Penn.”
“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
Haley glanced at her.
“The more we hear from Penn,” Eleanor said, “the more likely we are to learn his motivations.”
When Eleanor reached the gate, she realized that the policeman had stopped further back. She turned. He was staring at her, clearly amused.
“That’s a fair point, Lady Serrs. Did your father say that?”
“No.”
“Your aunt?”
“I am capable of doing my own thinking, Mr. Haley.”
“Then you’re even more terrifying than I first imagined.”
In the time it took a clock’s second hand to think about ticking, Eleanor had blushed, turned her head, and had to blink back the first shade of tears. She was embarrassed, yes. Appalled as well. But mostly confused. Never in her life had anyone intimated she was even mildly intimidating. The wash of emotion had instantly brought tears to her eyes.
That’s how terrifying she was.
“Miss Serrs, I was only joking.”
“Of course you were.” She ran her thumb across her eyelashes and smiled at him. “Eleanor Serrs, the Great and Terrible.”
“Certainly brilliant. Not many people would think the way you do. Yes, Miss Serrs, the more we hear from Penn, the easier it’ll be to figure out his game. But my first concern is protecting you and your father, and that would be infinitely easier if Duke Aubrey-Serrs wouldn’t engage.”
“But that’s not an option. So at least we can make the best of it.”
“We?”
“I’ve been told I’m at the center of this investigation.”
“I did say that, didn’t I?” Haley pinched the bridge of his nose, then let his hand fall. “Will you be speaking to the press?”
Eleanor raised her eyes but there was nothing in the inspector’s face to suggest he was anything but serious.
“I don’t think so,” she mumbled. “I—I wouldn’t be comfortable doing…something like that.”
“Never fear. I’m sure your father has the task well in hand. I’ll be following the exchange with great interest.”
“As will I.”
Haley hesitated, then reached for several pockets at once. He extracted a small notebook, a card, and a pencil. Holding it steady on the surface of his notebook, he dashed something off on the bottom of the card.
“I already gave my card to your father, but”—there was a microscopic pause—“I don’t know if he thought to mention it to you. The printed number is to my station, the number on the bottom is connected to my home. If anything occurs to you, please let me know.” He handed her the card and touched his hat. “Good day, Lady Serrs.”
He was on the other side of the gate when he suddenly halted. “One more thing.”
“Yes?” Eleanor said.
“That man with you—was that Lord Edward Comtess? The Baron of Felder?”
“Cousin Eddie? Oh! Yes. Sorry. It’s hard to imagine him as Right Honorable, isn’t it?”
“I’m not sure a chief inspector has the right to comment on that.” Haley touched his hat again and departed.
Eleanor hid the card up her sleeve and returned to the house by means of a sedate walk. Edward was lolling on the front stairs when she came in.
“Whatever did that policeman give you?” he asked.
Eleanor left her hands on the door as she rallied against this ambush. Her first strategy? Counterattack.
She finished shutting the door. “You were spying on me?”
“Oh, yes.”
Ineffective. Next, a diversion.
“Weren’t you supposed to be greeting my father?”
“He offered his standard salutation. He yelled at me to go away and stop wasting time.” Edward’s eyes narrowed. “Little Ellie, are you trying to change the subject?”
Fine then. Surrender.
She turned toward him. “He gave me his card.”
At first, Edward smiled. Then he let out a loud laugh. “Oh, to be a policeman! What perfect presumption! What an unassailable excuse! I’ll bet he said it was for the case, didn’t he?”
Eleanor stared at the floor, red-faced and trembling.
“You’d better not let your fiancé find out.”
“Edward, please,” Eleanor whispered.
The baron stood up, walked over to her, and put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” After a gentle squeeze, he stared at the closed door. “Well, the chief inspector has an interesting accent at any rate.”
“Accent?”
Edward smiled down at his cousin. “Oh, Eleanor. And I thought you were observant.”
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