Greywolf - The Reaver Knight's sorrow

I snap awake as I always do, sniffing the air before ever opening my eyes. It's stuffy in here, with the smell of leather and steel, and a wolfish scent like Asena's. I think this is the room we stayed in at the Dancing Direwolf... has this all been a dream? I begin to stretch.

Then gasp as a stabbing pain pierces my shoulder. Opening my eyes, there's a dim light coming through the shuttered windows, with gear piled up in the corner and Castor in a chair beside the door, his eyes closed as he snores. Shite, he's as loud as Asena; must be a wolf thing.

Looking down, I'm wearing trousers but nothing else, a linen bandage wrapped tight around my wounded shoulder. No dried blood stains the cloth, which is good, but every muscle in my body's aching. My bladder's waking up as well. Sliding out from under the blanket I'd mostly tossed off me in my sleep, I ease out of bed and head for the closed door.

Castor breaks off in mid-snore and opens his eyes. "Greywolf, you're awake."

"And feeling like I fell out of a tree, hitting every branch on the way down." Castor chuckles and stretches as I ask, "Why are we back at the inn and not in Muzen's house?"

He sighs, rubbing his wolfish head with his furry, man-like hands. "Be glad you missed last night's insanity." Castor spends a few minutes telling me about the mob and Wysper's almost getting caught up in it. "Titan and I returned to the High Priest's house with Wysper and her two Celtic priestesses, a pair of novices for Ix-Chel who had no idea about any plots, a dark haired priestess of Akan who's skinner than Wysper and looks diseased, a stout priestess of Moan-Chan who smokes a cigar-"

"A priestess smoking a cigar?"

Castor grins. "When we reached the guardhouse where Prince Timur had set up his stronghold, the first thing she did was to light one up. I like her; she told me Moan-Chan was the twin gods of merchants and travelers, but also of cigars and good wine. She's the only down-to-earth priestess I've ever met."

"What about the other, the Akan one?"

The smile snuffs out at once. "Creepy as one of Hel's handmaidens. Doesn't say a thing, just watches you with those dark, hollowed out eyes."

A cold finger of unease touches my heart. "Will Wysper be alright? Should I go to her?"

Castor shakes his head at the last. "Wysper will be fine. The last priestess rescued was a Daemo named Sybil, who's part of the mystery cult of Isis. Turns out Isis and Inanna were sisters, which means she's the closest thing to a priestess of Inanna who's here, and she's making it a point to see that Wysper remains safe. Titan, being an Ogri, doesn't trust her of course, and he's making sure Wysper and the other two Celts are kept separate from everyone else." He holds up his hand with its black palm out. "Now, before you ask, Titan wants you to remain here, out of Prince Timur's sight. Events are moving quickly and I doubt the prince has gotten any sleep."

I scratch my head. "What events?"

"Bukhara has thrown off its Sasnayam masters and wishes to submit to the Great Khan." My eyes go wide and Castor nods. "Like I said, last night was insanity. Every single Sasnayam, from the Royal Governor to the lowest servant, has either fled or has died, and Cermet's Shamblers, as everyone's begun calling her walking dead, have carried the bodies back to the charnel pits. Any Bukharan who died, though, has been taken to the main temple and laid in the catacombs beneath it with honor. Once things get sorted out, the Bukharan's plan to dedicate some of the temples to Inanna and dismantle the rest."

I shake my head in disbelief. "What's the Great Khan going to think about all of this?"

"We'll find out later this morning. Once the bridge was secured and the counter-attacks dealt with, War-leader Kula sent out a rider to let Khan Khingla know what had happened. Outriders showed up soon after, with a company of Warg-lancers riding in on their heels."

"Warg-lancers?"

"Spearmen who ride Warghorses. They're light cavalry who are exceptional at raiding and sneak attacks. Anyway, the Great Khan sent word that he'd be riding here with the rest of the cavalry before the sun had reached its zenith in the sky, to take command and decide Bukhara's fate." He gives me a knowing look. "I imagine they'll want you there when he arrives."

Shite, none of this is going like I thought it would. "Is there anyone else at the inn, or are we it?"

"Amazonia claimed it for herself after she dismissed her armored Shamblers back to the charnel pits. She's here somewhere, herself again and not the... other." Castor shivers before going on. "Anyway, her Chaldeans are here, as well as Karl and Lys, though they're likely to still be asleep."

He's about to go on, but I interrupt. "Castor, I really need the privy, but is there any chance of getting breakfast afterward?"

He yawns and gets to his feet. "The inn was deserted when Titan carried you here and told me to watch over you, but I'll check the larder and see what's available."

"You cook, too?"

Castor snorts. "It was either learn how or stare. Pollux..." He sighs. "Fenris can't even fry an egg."

"Asena claims I can burn an egg at least nine different ways." He chuckles again as I open the door and step out into the hallway. "I'll see you in a bit." Castor nods, yawning again as he pads down the hall while I open the back door. A gust of cold air hits me, making me shiver, and I step outside.

The sun hasn't peeked over the mountains, way off in the distance, yet, and other than a flock of squawking birds passing overhead, the place is peaceful... no, more like silent in a way cities never are. I wrinkle my nose as the wind changes, bringing the odor of something dead, and I turn towards the midden.

Shite, no wonder the place's silent. On top of the broken furniture and rotting food, someone has thrown several bodies, a man still wearing clothes and an apron... is that in innkeeper? It is, and there are a couple women as well, both naked. None of them are moving, and it looks like their throats were cut. Neither one is Ishi, though, which is a good thing, and the memories of other times, when Asena and I traveled through raided villages, makes me turn away without examining them closer.

There's steam coming out of the bathhouse, another good thing, and I stride through the doorway into the warm, moist air as a woman's voice snarls, "I told you to leave me alone."

Amazonia's sitting naked beside the pool with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her kinky black hair, shorn close to her scalp, glistens with water drops just like her skin, which is raw in places as if she's scrubbed herself way too hard. Her forehead's resting on her knees. I clear my throat. "Apologies for intruding, but I need the privy."

Her head jerks up. "Greywolf? What are you doing out of bed?"

"Trying not to make matters any worse."

I hurry past her and she keeps her back to me while giving an amused snort. "I'm surprised to see you up at all. After I... became myself again and Titan brought you here, he told me you'd been attacked by something in the Shadowlands and had lost a lot of blood."

"A Shadowcat jumped me while I was trying to figure how to save Wysper without ending up like I did."

"Did you kill it?"

"It dissolved into a grey mist, so it should be. I mean, I haven't seen its ghost yet, which should look like a black barn cat, but eventually it'll show up."

"Your father had black ravens that followed him around when he visited the Ludus, but even though he mentioned a gremlin, which he told us was the ghost of a Shadow Daemon he killed, I never saw it."

"The gremlin only shows up when he wants to show papa something he should pay attention to, or warn him of danger, though the ravens are pretty good about doing that. From what papa told me about Shadowcats, I may not see it too much as it's almost as shy as the gremlin. Why do you ask?"

"Because I think it's here." Huh? Fastening my trousers, I step out of the privy and look to where Amazonia is pointing. On the opposite side of the room, a small black cat is sitting motionless on a stone shelf, like an Aegyptus statue of Bast.

Its head turns toward the open doorway, and a moment later the sound of footsteps running towards us gets louder. "Greywolf," Dancer's voice calls out, "are you in there?"

"He's fine," Amazonia says as Dancer reaches the doorway. He's still wearing armor, and his face is haggard, as if he hasn't gotten any sleep. "I'm not going to hurt him, and he's in no condition to hurt me, so go back and tell Troll to stop worrying."

"Domina-"

"I'm fine as well, I just... I needed some time alone without anyone hovering." Amazonia exhales sharply. "As soon as the manikin brings my clothes back, I'll get dressed and join you."

From the corner of my eye, I see the cat raise its paw and bat it towards Amazonia. "Dancer, I'll stay and keep her company."

Amazonia's eyes narrow. "Greywolf-"

"I think that's a great idea," Dancer says. "Castor's making breakfast, so I'll find a cloak you can wear instead of a tunic, and bring it back."

Before she can protest, Dancer turns and walks back towards the inn, his leather sandals crunching the dirt underneath as he goes. I sit down next to Amazonia, who glares at me as I cross my legs nomad style. I match her glare with one of my own. "Before you start in on me, I'm a Shadow-walker who doesn't know shite about the Shadowlands except what my papa taught me. So I need to know what it was like for you, being this Shadow Knight, because the next time you become one, I need to know whether we can fight alongside each other or if I'll need to keep myself away."

She's already shaking her head. "I'm never doing that ever again. Prince Timur promised me that, if I became a Shadow Knight for him just this once, he'd never ask me to do it again."

She sounds so haunted that I can't help but sigh. "Asena used to promise me the same thing. 'Just cavort naked with these Daemo in front of the rich man and his friends, and I promise I'll never ask you to do it again'. She always meant it, too."

Amazonia frowns. "Until the gold ran out."

"That, and her thirst returned. Amazonia, my papa never mentioned Shadow Knights directly, but he did once talk about a warrior who'd been changed into a Shadow creature, that papa captured and brought back to the real world where he changed into a human again. Papa told me the creature had done horrible things the man remembered doing, things he was ashamed of. But the man wasn't the one responsible because he hadn't been himself."

Amazonia's laugh is bitter as the berries off a Mountain Ash tree. "Your papa's got it all wrong. I am responsible for what I did, because for the first time in my life I was powerful in a way I'd never been before." With her scarred fingers, she touches several old callouses on her neck. "When the Etruscans make you a slave, the first thing they do is have a mage slap an enchanted collar around your throat, then spend some time letting you feel all the different ways they can make you feel pain."

She grimaces as she looks away, perhaps remembering those first days. "Once they've finished, and you've been reduced to a sobbing wreck curled up in a ball, you never want to feel that kind of pain ever again. So you do what they want without question." She touches her throat again. "Even after the collar was shattered, I still acted with the same restraint I'd been taught, like killing only when we were attacked, and treating other women fairly, things like that."

"But being a Shadow Knight was different?"

"Oh, yes." Amazonia breathes in deeply before meeting my gaze with her own. "A Shadow Knight feels no restraints. Every single person who wasn't on our side needed to die, and every single death I caused made me feel... glorious. I had no morals, no remorse, and the only voices I listened to were Lys', Cermet's, and Prince Timur's."

"But that was the creature-"

"No, it was me." She looks across the pool at the cat staring back at her. "It was me, because there's a small, dark, part of my soul that wants to go back and feel glorious once again, with an army of the dead at my back. Last night we slaughtered every Bukharan who didn't convert to Inanna on the spot, along with anyone who was Sasnayam."

"Including the Royal governor?"

"That coward?" Amazonia spits into the pool. "He took his entire royal guard and fled out a side gate. The only Sasnayam who showed any courage was the captain of the western outpost, who counter-attacked with his company. Prince Timur and Kula crushed them."

"Was Prince Avitohol there?"

She smiles. "From what I heard, he fought like a northern berserker with a battle-axe as big as he was. Even Prince Timur was impressed." The smile leaves her face as she looks at the cat again. "The Bukharans went mad, fighting alongside the corpses-"

"Shamblers." Amazonia gives me a puzzled look and I add, "That's what Castor says they're being called now."

Amazonia slowly nods. "Shamblers. We always seek to name something we don't understand, so it won't be as frightening. Like me." It's my turn to be puzzled, and she returns a bitter smile. "The Bukharans believe the spirit of Inanna possessed me, returning from the Underworld to lead her people into freedom. They were singing a hymn to me that went like this:

If you do not open the gate for me to come in,

I shall smash the door and shatter the bolt,

I shall smash the doorpost and overturn the doors,

I shall raise up the dead and they shall eat the living:

And the dead shall outnumber the living!"

Amazonia sighs. "They don't look at me as the goddess but as goddess-touched, which is just as bad." She raises her eyebrows. "Lys told me what Muzen did to Wysper, destroying her faith, and before his image winked out, Osiris told me how Wysper now sees you as a demigod."

"Osiris was here?"

Amazonia nods. "Zanzabel's now his emissary, and she plans to use another of those gems so he can speak with the Great Khan when he arrives. Greywolf, Asena was pretty upset over your doing this, and now Wysper's attached to you. Was that wise?"

I shrug, and it doesn't hurt as bad as it did before. "Maybe not, but I didn't have any choice and to be honest? I'm glad I didn't. There's no one else I'd rather be bonded to." Her expression's remaining skeptical, and I add, "I mean, I could've done a whole lot worse."

"True... you could be life-bonded to me."

"What are you talking about? You're beautiful."

Amazonia snorts, looking at me like I'm an idiot. "Did that Shadowcat rattle your brains as well?" She motions at her nude body, her knees still pressed against her chest. "Who would think me beautiful with all the scars I've got?"

"I would." I'm not really sure why this is an issue, but it is, so I'd better deal with it. "Scars have their own beauty, like the poetry of an old north war-ballad. I mean, take the day when I kissed Wysper and started all this mess. I held up a cloved lemon to her, and she thought I wanted to kiss the priestess beside her instead."

"If you mean the young Celt, she is beautiful."

"Not compared to Wysper. She's the beautiful one, and the scars she carries on the inside, where no one can see them, make her even more so."

"You saw those scars?"

"Sensed them in the way you can look at a man and tell if he's dangerous or not." She slowly nods as I add, "Wysper's got them, and they make her even more beautiful because they make her more real... as your scars do for you." There's a faint, wooden clacking sound coming closer, and I grin. "Syr Reaver Knight Amazonia, I believe the manikin's bringing your clothes. Do you want to join me for-"

"Az."

"-breakfast... Apologies, what?"

"Az. My friends call me Az."

"Fair enough. My friends call me hungry enough to eat a Warg-horse, fur and all."

Az rolls her eyes, smiling despite herself. "Better hope it's not on the menu. It tastes like liver gone bad." I make a disgusted face and grin again, rising to my feet as she does. Then the room darkens as my head grows light, and she grabs my arm as I stagger. "Easy there. You alright?"

My vision returns to normal as I nod. "Guess I lost more blood than I realized." The manikin appears in the doorway, and my eyes go wide. "Shite, what happened?"

The manikin has deep gouges in the wood of its body and arms, like someone attacked it with a sword, while its legs are splattered with dried blood. It carries in a bundle of black clothes with jerky movements, the writing burned into its body barely glowing as it sets the clothing on a stone shelf and turns to leave. "At a guess, Ishi was attacked for betraying us, and the manikin tried to defend her."

"What? That can't be right; Ishi helped us."

"She helped with the initial attack on Muzen's house, but after the Chosen were engaged, she fled out the Temple District gates and spoke with the Sasnayam commander I later killed."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Are you sure?"

Az nods as the manikin stumbles going out the doorway. "Fenris and his brother Castor both watched as the commander counted out several pieces of silver, which she took," the manikin tripping and falling face first onto the dirt as she sighs. "I don't know what happened to her, but I wouldn't count on seeing her alive ever again." The manikin pushes up with its arms as if trying to regain its feet.

Then the faint blue glow of the writing fades altogether, and the manikin falls back to the ground and goes still.