《Pink Mage》A day in the life of the system.
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The system sat in it’s comfortable ergonomicaly designed chair, swearing at it’s monitor. Of course the system didn’t have to do this, in particular for these repativie inaine tasks. But it had found that consciousness was the best way to handle the more esoteric parts of an assignment. On the other hand it didn’t need to type on the terminal to automatically input any and all sub tasks that the system needed. This was just a quirk of this instance, of this consciousness of this iteration, of the system.
So it was typing away at a spreadsheet and swearing to the high heavens, it’s mother, at dieties both real and imagined that it would never prey too, because it was unnecessary, and even entities that quite literally cannot be quantified because that was the way they were feeling at this point of the eon.
“Mother trucking son of a monkey’s uncle twice removed on sundays. Why does this system have to work like this. It could be easy, just a few inputs here, a few outputs there, done. But nooo, it has to be their way or the no way. Ugh!” Said the system. Why they acted like a petulant teenager despite looking like a balding middle aged man was beyond them. Also, the fact that a middle aged female troll consciousness that was surrounded by her cats, was saying very similar things, with very similar sentiment, was also beyond them.
“Nooo, it can’t be easy, it can never be easy. And the fact that the subsystem won’t even do that is beyond them. God, that is such a stupid system.” Again, cast copper tea pot, meat cast copper kettle, now start the name calling contest.
What the system was currently working on was a subroutine maintenance protocol. This particular protocol had spat out an unknown and uncomprehensible error. These situations call for a much more imaginative approach to the system than what it is normally able to provide thus the consciousness. Unfortunately it had yet to be able to resolve the issue and was trying to remedy that situation. So it was unnecessarily typing away at an old fashioned terminal. Of course said terminal did not function on logic or the basic laws of the universe. It ran on magic, and created and destroyed the laws and the reason for it’s existence as it used them, as the system often did.
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This did not mean that the system ran the universe. That was jointly performed by a group of ‘over system’ shells that were actually a tool for interacting with the sub system that really ran the universe. This was in turn a tool for the true creator of the universe. Of course this did not mean that it encompassed all of the universe in this little corner of the multiverse. By inherently their very existence it was impossible for a [System], as common and basic as they were, to encompass the universe. This was because they would always be, at least ever so slightly, too big, or too small. This easy why those fine tuning points always needed a personal touch by the creator god themselves.
So let us get back to this instance of the consciousness of the subsystem, consequently Micky’s over subsystem. “Why my ‘Master’ created all these stupid rules is beyond me, such a pain in the ass. I mean Pink Mage without combat? Witchs are the enemy of the world and every friggen religion because they exist? Come on...” As you can see, the system had it’s own problems, namely a hero problem. As one might expect, it’s master had hero problems of it’s own.
“As much as I wish that one of these heroes would take it all down, how am I supposed to place this guy. He is obviously isekai, check. He hates the system with a unreasonable, or logical passion, check. Clearly, hero system material...” As you can see, his master already has such things covered… but the system still runs into errors sometimes, even with all it’s power.
“But the problem is that he has no problems with any of the ‘gods’. Hell he’s a freaking pacifist monk! He is clearly going to take down the system. Alright that one gets a check too. And he plays the ironic comic relief role, because, sucks to be him you have to kill stuff. Even if most monsters don’t count, none of these heroes see it that way. Hell, half of them run around screaming “Free the monsters! Their creatures that deserve equal rights too!” Laughable. They don’t even realise that the automata, that does have equal rights in certain dwarven cultures are more alive then most of these monsters… Hell my master, bah, forget my master.” Mumbled the system.
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The problem was that the hero was already a secret mass murderer. Which would place him on the evil MC track. But oh this guy wasn’t done. He was a mass murderer because he was protecting the other monks of his sect. But still not done, his sect was just using him as a tool. But of course, still not done, bcause he knew that, and did so willingly, and had even been indoctrinating and brainwashing other members into the sect.
Now the subsystem that the system was overhauling wasn’t actually the hero system. It was some esoteric ability system that seemingly had no relation to heroes or their systems at all. But as all things quantifiable and with code, something somewhere randomly is spitting out errors and code it isn’t supposed to and shouldn’t. The problem is the system doesn’t know how to correct this error because all ‘logical’ solutions would not work for a veriety of reasons. Which means the system needs an illogical solution that the system can’t come up with.
But worse, he has to file with the accounting department with another system, because, reasons to inaine and esoteric for even the all but omnipotent system to understand. Which is why this instance is trying to create and illogical jerryrigged solution. Because, reasons, turn it off and on again, say a prair and smash it with a hammer, then hopefully it starts to work again.
Because it shouldn’t not be working in the first place. Sure there was a hero sized pebble in the system, but that shoulda been cranked out and crushed up in a second. So why the heck this was not working was absolutely beyond the system.
Eventually the system just pulled a hail merry, flipped two variables around in a seemingly unrelated system and prayed it would work…
… And low and behold by the powers invested in thee it did indeed work. The system was back online. The isekai, which is technically not a hero, even though they are under the same system, was finally back online and all of their errors in their status was working again, and legible. And for some reason read like the heavenly scripture of their sect back in their homeworld but the isekai seemed to prefer things this way. So the system wasn’t going to argue with a job well done.
The system took one last look around the office, got up, walked to the door, and was happily deleted. Consciousness was such a chore.
[System process USER: #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has been DELETED: removing process… filing report.]
[System ERROR: Report #5498349867314 R-XXX 684264 IIB65136HKK5F64FS46ASDF8474: correcting… correction failed: creating concsiousness]
[System process USER: #796541867531462 I-RL 482562225666777 798741asdfeuh64sf465asd id invalid: reloged requested]
[System process USER #6548791328524 W-TF 80085101444444 SDF4W8SD5F64WE84FHTR21G has been DELETED: removing process… filing report.]
[System process USER: #796541867531462 I-RL 482562225666777 798741asdfeuh64sf465asd id invalid: reloged requested: valid attempts left: 1]
[System process USER: #796541867531462 I-RL 482562225666777 798741ASDFEUH64SF465ASD: loggin accepted: “Phew, just barely made it. I need to put my password on a sticky note and stick it too my comp, I don’t care what those IT guys say!... wait is this going into my report? Oh no, oh no, oh no, how do I make it stop, oh please god stop this, here it is!” report filed. HR noted for interaction with rogue process and inappropriate/invalid/ERROR filing procedure, elimination eval requested]
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