“We are the knights who say ‘Knee’.” Said the council.

“Ni?” Said another one of the knights.

“We are the knights who say ‘Knee’.” Said the council.

“Nee?” Said yet another knight.

“We are the knights who say ‘Knee’.” Said the council.

“Nenur nenur, pumpkin eater?” Said a random troll.

“We are the knights who say ‘Knee’.” Said the council.

“Nenu nenu?” Said a random well respected comedian that brought many laughs to the world.

“We are the knights who say ‘Knee’.” Said the council.

And as the author grew bored of their juvenile display he clicked the fast forward button.

And so 10 minutes passed.

Then 10 days passed,

And 10 years passed,

And 100 years passed,

And 1000 years passed.

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And now we finally appear at the present day. And low and behold the knights who say ‘Knee’ are still arguing to this day!

“Finally it is mine masterpiece! I hath done it and eth shall be named as such!” Said a well financed but slightly overworked author as he held up the scroll of his writing that was his finest work.

“You missed the ‘,’ after finally and you spelled ‘the’ wrong. In addition I’m not sure speaking in an old english fake accent is appropriate for your audience. Plus, in your script you have spelled ‘the’ as ‘teh’, ‘hte’, ‘het’, ‘eht’ and several other permutations of the word in the wrong way. Also, on page 6 line 42 there was another mistake and I think it would have a better flow for the reader if it was swapped with page 6 line 127 and the corresponding sentences rearranged to reflect the changes.” Said a Knight who says ‘Knee’.

The author, who was now ignoring the tirade of the man, slowly withdrew a pistol from his desk drawer. It was an isekai invention, a ‘gun’, specifically a desert eagle. Why was it a desert eagle? He did not know, it was probably the same reason that all isekai had an ill advised meeting with an ill tempered truck while attempting to save a child that didn’t need saving, they were also predominantly Nihongo, or some alternate world facsimile, school children.

The author put the gun in his mouth, making sure to aim it at his brain stem and not straight up, he only had one shot at it and wanted to get it right, pardon the pun. He pulled the trigger and the Knight was broken from his tirade, job well done, another author was corrected of the error of his ways.

In another place another knight was facing a very similar situation. The only differences being that the knight was female and that the author had chosen to hang himself. The author took his time, assured that the Knight who said ‘Knee’ wasn’t going anywhere. He secured the rope so that it would not snap. He made sure the chair he used was both stable enough that it wouldn’t fall before he was ready, and unstable enough that he would have no problems when he was. He took his time and when he was ready he released himself of his shame. Of course not his body, his body was quite shamed, and soiled, by the time his soul was freed and unrestrained.

“Did you find good tidings correcting errors and showing aspiring authors the errors in their ways? Pardon the pun, hahaha!” Said the male knight to the female knight.

“Oh yes, they seemed quite taken with my knowledge and help. So much so, that they left the rest up to me! And you? Did you correct that vile and horrendous injustice of grammatical errors?” Said the female knight to the male knight.

“Oh yes, it was quite enjoyable. They had made an almost encyclopedic display of the errors of ‘The’ showing what a pitfall the most common word in English can truly be. It was quite enlightening! Now then, shall we see how our young squire is doing?” Said the male knight to the female knight.

“Oh yes, that sounds delightful!” Said the female knight to the male knight.

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As they came upon said squire they found him banging his head against a wall. They found this quite curious as the author he had been tasked to was quite response and even joyous at his quest to see all dastardly grammatical errors put to justice and corrected!

They did not wonder any longer as they came within hearing distance.

“Oye, you bloke! Is this right here the correct pronunciation or wha’? This right ere’ then?” The author said while pointing to his latest draft.

As the two knights heard the wonders that were happening within the male knight took off at a run. The squire puked blood. The female knight fainted. The Squire seeing his opportunity took off at a run, his older male compatriot grabbing and assisting his injured comrade. They both looked back at their fallen sister in arms. Knowing that her noble sacrifice would not be in vain! They would survive and remember the fallen.

Pagebreak

And so the present day

“Oye love, is this eat’ or do Oy’ have ta make changes A-gain?” Said the author. The author was then soon jabbed in the ribs by an angsty editor for his use of the word ‘love’. Of course she didn’t fight it when he grabbed her hand afterword and showed her his draft by shoving it in her face. She just let out a long suffering sigh and moved on.

“No, even with the accent just… just no! Oh system and all that is holy and just, no!... This, this, and this, change. Rearrange this here. And blimey, I don’t even know what to do with this. What does this even mean? How do you even… How is it possible to write in chicken scratch when using print? Just HOW?!”