Parson was six winters old now. He was still going to that terrible bully of a teacher for instruction but he had already mastered most of what he was teaching. Of course, it was all utter nonsense. 2+2=4 right? 2+2=4… no it equals 3.5, yeah, he did the math. he even used dot matrix just to make sure. Somehow even on his fingers it came out wrong. They keep telling him that 3.5 is the right answer and he doesn't freaking know! There’s just… it isn’t possible. So he asked. And yeah, it’s 3.5. The reason is that you have to factor in magic. Mana and aether saturate everything. So you have to take that in as a factor. The biggest problem with this is that magic is mostly conceptual. It doesn’t matter how large or small a concept is, nor how distant or far it is. And it is total illogical bullhocky! No he did not swear, you better not tell his mom!

So yeah, Parson is basically illiterate. He can’t get math right for the life of him. And he is cheated all the time. But it’s ok. Percilla has promised to take care of him… As If!

Parson is going to be a great and epic hero! He will style dragons and rescue beautiful princesses! He isn’t about to settle for a farm girl. So he threw a rock at a slime… it did not end well… Percilla rescued him… Yeah, this dude is pathetic, but Percilla is a bit M like most girls that age and hates being ignored. So of course, she is interested in the dude that’s a bit of a jerk and ignores her.

Parson is once again out on adventure, pointedly ignoring his annoying tag along/bodygaurd/first yandere harem member… He has his wooden sword with him to defend himself. He also has a small hatchet that he refuses to acknowledge because real heroes use swords! It doesn’t matter that mom already taught him ax arts with it.

So he is off to adventure! He is going to slay that dastardly menace that all heroes know and love to hate! Those xp balls that bounce around just waiting for an endless farming session! Yes, he is going to have his revenge on the slimes!

So Parson is now wandering around looking for some random solo slimes. He learned his lesson last time and won’t be targeting groups anymore. Nevermind that it was only one slime that had beaten him into the ground. No! He will slay the dragon… Slime and win a princess! *Clap, clap, clap* Percilla clapped from behind Parson… Yeah, he said all that outloud and made a triumphant pose pre-win. It’s a flag, it’s definitely a flag!

Parson jumped up the log by the pond. No slimes around again, but there were some frogs running around. Mmm, frog legs, Parson had never thought he would love something so disgusting so much. But they are actually divine! But he can’t be distracted. No! He must slay his drag… slime!

He circled around and found a place outside the forest. It seemed weird to him at first that the village would keep a monster forest around but he realised that this was basically fantasy farming. Monsters appeared in forests and plains randomly so keeping them around allowed for the monsters to be farmed. Trimming the forest allowed normal beasts to be found within as well so there was something to eat. And dungeons were primo farm locations, but he wasn’t going to attack a dungeon… yet.

He finally found a slime and by luck it was all alone. Drawing his (still wooden) sword Parson attacked out of nowhere. There was no way the slime could dodge this sneak attack it was already dodging!

“Hay, that’s not fair!” Yelled Parson… Before the evil slime returned fire and attacked him back. The viscous sneaky evil monster smacked Parson in the face. Parson dropped his guard and the stupid poopoo head slime smacked his hand forcing him to drop the sword.

“Fine! You made me do this.” Parson said as he drew his secret weapon. Who would ever think that a hero would be skilled with an ax? Parson swung the ax down at his target. And by luck the target was moving in the same direction and hit the swing that would have otherwise missed. “Gig smash!” He yelled. And the slime went sailing. But it was hardly done. Now the slime was mad and was charging back towards him. So he wound up the ax like a bat and swung. It actually hit, and the slime smashed into a tree. It splat against the tree then fell down for a double whammy. Finally it destabilized becoming nothing but slowly fading goo.

“I did it!” Parson yelled.

“You did it!” Percilla congratulated him. This time Parson wasn’t even mad about it.

“Now I’m going to level up and begin my adventure!” Parson said.

“You idiot, you have to wait until you're ten.” Percilla landed a critical blow.