“Ha ha ha! Oh, the face on him! Like a fish as it gets hauled out of the river!" Mikhail resumed chuckling as soon as the door was shut. “Ah, thank you boy, that is a memory I'll gladly take to the grave.”

Sam's chest heaved, and he heard his heartbeat pounding away in his ears. The little bastard, how dare he talk about them like that? How dare he? He didn't need to take that crap from anyone, and certainly not watch the girls take it, not anymore. He should have taken that little man and...

A heavy hand clasped his shoulder. “Son, you'd best take a few deep breaths,” Mikhail said from the side. He didn't flinch when Sam's had snapped to him. “Wanting to defend your good name isn't a bad instinct, but when your temper's what's pushing you forward, it'll tend to get you killed.”

Sam glared at the priest, muscles still trembling with anticipation, before he closed his eyes. He recalled the exercises. Breathe in…

He held for a few seconds before exhaling, and some of the tension left his shoulders. “It's fine, it's fine. I'm... calm.”

“You sure, Sam? You looked like you were ready to rip that Captain's head off with your bare hands just then,” Camille said from behind him. When he turned to her, she was wide-eyed and standing with the table between her and Sam, Kaisei was next to her. Even Tasha had taken a few steps back at some point.

He winced. “I'm... sorry. I got carried away.”

“That you did, though it helped some,” Mikhail huffed as he hobbled back to his chair. “Maybe Vigdam will think twice before trying to start something again, eh? He got under your skin pretty neatly this time, though.”

Sam blinked, some of the haze still clearing from his thoughts. “What... What are you saying?”

“The whole bit about half-men and whores, boy, he knew he was pissing you off. He was counting on it. When I claimed you as Temple Guard he couldn't do anything to you, he might as well have pissed at the clouds for all he could touch you.” Mikhail carefully lowered himself down onto the chair and reached back for his pipe. “So he tried to provoke you instead. The moment you threw a punch, he'd have his guys beat the shit out of you and toss the lot of you in the Keep's dungeon. Only, when you stood up and he saw who exactly he was trying to get to take a swing at him, he reconsidered pretty quick.”

Sam looked dumbly at the priest. He'd... gotten manipulated?

Mikhail took a deep drag from his pipe as he watched Sam’s face. Enough embers remained in it that he apparently didn't need to light it again. “An important lesson, son: when you’re feeling like committing violence, it’s good to keep track of who’s got the swords in the room, and who hasn't. But on the bright side, I plan on helping you remedy that particular deficiency.”

“Yes, about that,” Camille frowned as she sat back at the table, “What exactly have you gotten us committed to? What’s the Temple Guard?”

Mikhail shifted in his seat. “Well… The Temple Guard is… one of the more militant branches of the Church, you could say. They protect the innocent from the forces of darkness and heresy, and…”

“Wait,” Kaisei interrupted, “wait, wait, wait. Are you saying you made us into Soldiers? But I’ve never even gotten into a fight before! I’ve never even seen a real sword! And now I’m supposed to fight with one?”

“No, Kaisei,” Camille said dourly as she glared at Mikhail. “He didn’t just make us soldiers, he made us Church soldiers, and I get the impression we’re now meant to be part of the elites tasked with hunting us, the demons or heretics or whatever it is we’re supposed to be.”

“Well I didn’t want it to come to this either, you ungrateful brats,” Mikhail snapped. “I needed to get the lot of you out of that self-important rat’s reach. Had I had more time, I could have maybe fabricated some story about you being pilgrims… Bah, too late for regrets. I played the only card I had and that’s that. Welcome to your new lives as the pious defenders of the Faith.”

“Of course,” he held up a hand before any of them could cut in again, “it’s just a charade, I don’t intend to actually send you out to go slay heretics and the like.” He paused, and gave them an appraising look. “But Vigdam was right on one thing, you lot don’t look battle-ready. You’re not supposed to be full Guards just yet. You’re 'trainees', after all. But I’m going to have to drill some martial skill into the lot of you, for appearances if nothing else.”

“What?” Kaisei protested, “But I don’t want to learn how to fight! I’m not a fighter! Look at me!”

“Tough luck,” Mikhail said pitilessly. “You’ll learn. I don’t expect you to come out of my training a killing machine, I just need you to be able to hold your sword straight enough for people to think it’s plausible for you to be a trainee.”

“But, to be clear, we’re not going to have to actually fight anything?” Camille asked.

“Well, you might have to do the occasional patrol, maybe help out some farmer with an animal, but it won’t be anymore than that. The Norvich border’s been quiet lately, and even if real trouble did pop up, the only one who can command you to go into battle is a Church official, and I,” Mikhail smiled smugly under his beard, “am the top clergyman in Bridge Vale. It’s not saying much, of course, the Vale is small, but it means you won’t have to fight anything serious unless I say so.”

“I… guess that’s fine,” Kaisei said, removing his glasses to wipe them on the hem of his shirt. “But… How does this get us closer to home? You were saying something about mages?”

“One thing at a time, son.”Mikhail said, rising with a groan as he put out his pipe. “I need some time to think about this, and to talk to some people. You, on the other hand, need rest. It’s late, and you’re all tired. The beds here are straw, but they're comfortable enough. We can discuss all of this again tomorrow, when you've rested, and I've come up with something.” He grabbed the candle off the table and hobbled back towards the main hall. “Follow me, I’ll show you your rooms.”

Just off the hall lay a short hallway dotted with three simple but sturdy-looking doors. One, the door at the end of the hallway, was the room where Sam had woken up. Mikhail waved his arm at the other two, one on either side of the hallway. “You sleep here. There is a bunk bed in each room, men on the right, ladies on the left.” He turned back to them. “I’ll wake you at dawn, and we’ll head to the Bridge. I have a friend there I’ll have to talk to for your problem, and it’ll be good for the villagers to see you, so you aren’t strangers. In the meantime, get what rest you can.” He turned around to head back to his room. “I’m afraid you’ll need it.”

“Hey, Sam?”

Sam opened his eyes. He hadn’t been asleep yet, but he’d been nodding off. “Yeah? What is it, Kaisei?”

A few bits of straw fell from the bunk above him as Kaisei moved in his bed. “Do you… Do you think we’ll be okay?”

“Ah… I don’t know.” Sam answered. “I guess I haven’t had much time to think about it yet.”

“It’s just, even after you accept how insane the whole thing is… We’ve only been here two days, not even that. And we’ve already almost died twice. And now, we’ve got inquisitors and angels who’ll kill us if they know about us, and that Vigdam guy who definitely wants to kill you, and we’re going to have to become soldiers, and maybe get in danger again, and…” he trailed off. “Well, I guess it doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be alright, you know?”

Sam stayed silent for a moment, unsure how to answer. Kaisei wasn’t wrong “Well, we have Mikhail, at least. He’s helping us out, and maybe he’ll even find us a way home.”

“Right, yeah,” Kaisei said, “the crazy heretic priest guy who was going to stab you dead and who got us into being soldiers, and who even said he had no idea how to help us. That’s the guy who’s gonna fix everything.”

“Well, it’s not like we have a better choice,” Sam sighed. “All we can do is take it on the chin and do what we can. Mikhail is our best option right now, and that’s all there is to it.”

Kaisei stayed quiet for a while. “How do you do it?” he said at last.

“Do… what?” Sam asked, frowning at the bunk above him.

“Go on as if everything’s fine and normal. Act strong and brave. Save the day and get the girl. When that wolf attacked, both times you fought it and drove it away, even when it practically tore your arm off. And me?” He laughed bitterly. “I did nothing! I almost pissed myself I was so terrified! You saved all our lives twice, and I was completely useless the whole time. I was pathetic. Maybe it’d have been better for everyone if the wolf had gotten me, instead.”

“Kaisei…” Sam began, taken aback by his tone. “I… I was terrified too, you know? The whole time, I was sure I was gonna die. I don’t think it would have been normal to have just felt no fear, then.”

“Yeah, but you did something.” Kaisei said sourly. “I just sat there, on the ground, and I couldn’t even move.”

“You just reacted like a normal person, man. No one can blame you for freezing up in front of that thing, and I don’t think the fact that I tried to hold back the door and that I got eaten on by it makes me heroic or something. It’s not like I even managed to do a lot. If we hadn’t gotten saved, I’d just be dead.”

“Right,” Kaisei said. “Sure. Whatever. I guess we’ll just try to go home, right? At least there I won’t be holding anyone back anymore.”

“Hey,” Sam said, after a while. “If we get home, and we all go back to our countries, we should stay in touch. Stay friends. Maybe you can show me Tokyo, some day. And, there’s not much to do in Kadoka, but I can show you around town too. You can meet my sisters, see the Badlands, get the best fried chicken you’ve ever had at the Sunset Grill. I think you’d like it.”

“I…” Kaisei hesitated for a moment, and when he spoke it was in a softer voice. “Sure. Yeah. I think I’d like that. Maybe we can do that. When we get home. Thanks.”

“No problem, man. We’ll get through this, you’ll see.” Sam said with a smile. “Now let’s try to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be another day.”

Silence returned to the small bedroom.

“Actually, tomorrow won’t be another day, I’m pretty sure it’s past midnight.”

“Shut up and sleep, you nerd.”